by Holt, Leah
Feverishly my hands ran back and forth over my head as the depth of who he truly was washed over me.
He's a killer.
He ends lives. . .
As the words replayed over and over in my head, it felt like everything suddenly fell into place, and I knew the true nature of why I was there. Virgo allowed Salt to take me because he had a job to do.
“Oh my God,” I said, my voice strained and erratic. “I know why I'm here now. You're going to fucking kill me, aren't you?” Jumping to my feet, I moved further away from him. “That's why he let you take me. You're supposed to kill me, Virgo wants me dead.”
My stomach coiled up with knots as thick and heavy as chain. Grabbing my stomach, I bent forward, doing my best to keep my stomach from decorating the floor. “Fuck, I don't feel good. I'm going to be sick.”
“What—no,” he said, his lids lowering as he shook his head. “I'm not going to kill you, Berlin. That's not why you're here.”
“Don't lie to me, do not fucking lie to me!” Raising my voice, I was almost screaming. “It all makes sense now, all of it.” Dragging my nails through my hair, I was inhaling short gasps of air as my body shivered and my limbs went numb. “I thought I was ready for this, I even thought I wanted it at one point. . .” Pausing, my eyes shot open as I stared at Salt. “But I don't, that's why I wrote you that note, I'm not ready, I'm not—”
Cutting me off, Salt darted to my side, curling strong hands around my arms. “Berlin!” he snapped, giving me a little shake. “I'm not going to kill you, I swear. Look at me, look at me my flower.” Lifting his hands to my face, he cupped my cheeks, holding my head in place.
And then it happened.
Tears.
They came, they flowed, they fell freely as if a dam had been demolished and there was nothing holding them back.
“I don't want to die, Salt.”
“And you're not going to,” he said, holding his eyes steady on mine. “That's not why I took you, that's not why I brought you here.”
Sniffling, my eyes were blurry, causing his face to morph and cloud over. “Then why am I here?”
“I told you I could give you things. But, I'm not a monster and I can't grant wishes. You wrote me a note, a note I can't fulfill. I can give you something else, something you didn't ask for, but I want to give you. If you're not ready, I'll understand. ”
“I don't know what you mean. What are you giving me?”
Thinning his lips, his eyes dulled. Wiping the water off my cheeks, Salt softly licked his lips. My heart jumped inside my chest as he peered deep into my soul, looking past the scars, seeing through the shell I had built around myself.
“Look at you,” he said, running his fingers around my swollen eye. Smiling lightly, his eyes took note of all the other damage to my body. With the pads of his fingers, he softly touched the torn skin on the side of my arm.
Sucking in a gulp of air, I pulled myself together. “I'm fine, it's nothing.” Wiping more tears off my face, I forced a smirk. “It could have been worse.”
“You shouldn't think that way. What was done to you is wrong, you don't deserve to be hurt like this.”
“Yeah, well, that's how this shit goes.” Rubbing the side of my neck with my hand, I moved it down my back and cringed.
“What is it?” he asked, manipulating my body and turning me around. “Is it your back?” Lifting my shirt, I could feel him examining me. “Stay right here, give me one second.”
“What? What do you see?”
He didn't answer, walking away and going into the bathroom. I could hear him sifting through a drawer, moving items around. Reaching around I tried to feel my back and see if I could tell what was wrong.
My entire body fucking hurt since Blue dragged me down the steps, so picking one injury out from another was almost impossible. Hitting a rough patch, my skin buzzed, causing me to huff under my breath.
Fuck, I felt that.
Salt came out of the bathroom, carrying a small pouch, his gaze serious and set on my back. “Turn into the light for me.” Following his directions, I twisted around. “Lean forward.”
“What are you doing? What's wrong?”
“Just stay still.” I felt his hands as they pulled on my skin, stretching it tight. “Let me know if it hurts too much.”
Nodding, I watched him the best I could from over my shoulder. His face was still, working diligently on something I couldn't see. I could feel light tugs on my back and something sharp sticking me.
“Can you tell me what you're doing?”
Glancing up at me, Salt grinned. “I'm playing doctor. This might sting a bit.” Winking, he splashed my skin with liquid.
Sucking in air through my teeth, I pinched my eyes closed.
“You alright?” he asked.
“I'm fine.” Opening my eyes, I clutched the wood shelf under the window, forcing the pain to flow from my fingers into the wood. “Are you almost done?”
“Yeah, almost.” Laying out a white towel, he pushed my shoulders forward more.
We were both quiet as he plucked at my flesh, placing splintered pieces of wood on the towel. Salt was tender, his touch methodical and precise as he mended my wounds.
It felt like an out of body experience. I had a man tending to me, caring for me, asking me if I was alright when he knew I was in pain.
Peeking at him, his eyes were set in place as he bandaged up my back and stood up. “There, everything is clean and shouldn't get infected now.”
“Why?”
“Why won't it get infected?” he asked, angling his head into his shoulder.
“No, why did you do that?”
“That's not the question you should be asking. You should be asking me why I would want one night with you.”
Biting my bottom lip, I flicked my eyes between his. “Why would you want me?”
Bringing his lips in closer, they hovered dangerously over mine. “Your eyes, your lips, your porcelain skin. . .” Exhaling, the tip of his nose brushed mine. “Because you have yet to bloom, my flower.”
I could feel his breath as the heat washed across my face, making the hair on my arms stand straight. Placing one thumb on my bottom lip, he drew it back and forth, touching me in a way that no man ever had.
He was gentle, he was kind, he was loving.
Love. A word that I had long forgotten and thought would never return. I knew I loved my family, but that was the only love I ever had the pleasure of feeling. And even that love was short lived.
I never had a boyfriend. I hadn't experienced true love.
The love a man and woman share together, a kiss that wasn't built off dirty money and fear of beatings. What it felt like to be held and not demanded, to be stroked and not moved around like a plastic toy.
I wasn't sure what to do with the feelings that were running rampant through my body. My clit had started to throb and pulse, my stomach was swirling with butterflies that created a wave of shivers as his body shifted closer.
His face was no more than an inch from mine. I could smell his cologne, the sweetness of caramel mixed with cedar. Taking in a slow, deep breath, I let the aroma fill my lungs. It took me some place else, to a kinder place, a place that wasn't so dark anymore.
I could feel my body coming alive. The warmth in my belly spread up my chest and down my legs. My fingertips were tingling right down to the very edge. A rush of fire burned across my cheeks, making my face feel so hot.
“What are you doing?” I asked as Salt pressed in even more, our mouths so close to touching I wasn't sure what to do.
“Shh,” he hushed me silent as he shifted his face to rest his cheek against mine. “This isn't for me, it's for you.” Moving his hands down my face, he pushed his fingers into the hair at the base of my head, softly massaging my scalp. “All you ever feel is pain, you deserve something good for once.”
My eyes closed instantly, head rolling side to side as my body tingled. Moaning lightly, my head fell bac
k naturally as his fingers became more intense, more needy, tugging at my roots.
But it wasn't harsh, it wasn't rough. It was the most erotic touch I had ever experienced. Goosebumps tore their way down over my skin, my nerves exploded, flooding my body with heat that zipped from head to toe.
Pushing the hair away from my face and off my shoulder, Salt kissed my neck, fluttering kiss after kiss up my throat, never missing one inch of exposed skin.
There were no words between us as his hands kept exploring, caressing, finding these little nooks I didn't know existed. I never could have imagined that a touch could be euphoric, an aphrodisiac to my brain.
But his touch was.
The tips of his fingers worked their way down my ribs, finding the edge of my shirt and pulling it over my head. His lips grew more intense, kissing across my collarbone and my shoulders.
Lowering his hands to the trim of my pants, he pulled them down over my hips, gently lifting one leg at a time to help me out of them. And I let him. I didn't fight him off, I didn't tell him no.
I wanted it. I wanted more of it; more touch, more kisses, more of him.
Because this wasn't about money, it wasn't about pleasing Virgo or doing what I had to in order to stay above water.
Right then, it felt we were just two people. Two people that crossed paths, two people that were about to find pleasure in a world that was void of it. I shouldn't have wanted this man, I shouldn't have wanted to be touched by this man or any man at all.
And yet, I didn't want to stop him.
I had one night, just one night to not be Ash, to not be that girl bought by sex driven greed. I had one night to be free.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, he looked down on me and smiled, slowly pulling them away. Taking a step back, I watched his eyes as they explored my body, devouring me with just a look.
Curling one hand over my belly, I looked down at the floor, suddenly embarrassed. I wasn't sure why I felt that way. It came out of nowhere, another feeling I wasn't used to having.
It was the way he looked at me. His eyes still and feverish, moving up and down, but always coming back to my eyes.
Biting his bottom lip, he pulled my arms away from body, and braided our fingers together. “Don't hide, you don't need to. You're beautiful, too beautiful for this world. You're like a lost angel that took a wrong turn.”
My cheeks blushed as his eyes moved around my breasts, trailing down my stomach and over my mound. My muscles were shaking, my lungs were struggling to keep steady.
What is this? What's happening to me?
Holding my hand, he led me to the bed, manipulating my body delicately, as if I would crumble in his hands if he was too rough.
Laying me down on my back, Salt climbed up on the bed, kneeling above me. My eyes never left his, just watching him come alive the more he touched me.
The pads of his fingers tickled across my belly, making me tremble. I was visibly shaking, vibrating the bed beneath me. Doing my best to stay still, I clutched the soft quilt, digging my nails into the fibers.
Smirking, he ran his hands up my side, sweeping over my ribs and circling my breast. He was barely touching me, his hands light as a feather.
“This is my gift to you—just for you.” Whispering the words, he placed kisses randomly on my skin; my stomach, my side, the back of my palm, the top of my thigh. Each one leaving a buzzing sensation that remained long after his mouth was gone. “But if it's too much, if you're not ready, don't be afraid to stop me.”
His mouth moved lower and lower, teasingly close to my most sensitive area. I could feel the warmth between my thighs as my arousal slicked my skin. Cupping my mound with his hand, Salt laid down beside me, pressing his chest into my side.
Snuggling up to him, I started to touch his shoulder and face, giving myself to him in a way I had never given myself to anyone. I was willing, I was turned on, I was eagerly ready for more.
The room was growing hot and stuffy, the smell of sex was filling the air. But this scent was sweet, it was enticing, it was everything you could ever want from your real first time.
I wasn't a virgin, but this would be the first time I willingly accepted a man. I had a voice in the room, one that would be heard, one that would be received and acknowledged.
And that meant everything to me.
Squeezing my pussy in his hand, he kissed the tender skin behind my ear, running his tongue down my neck and across my shoulder. The tip of his finger slid between my folds, spreading my arousal.
“Are you alright?” he asked, his tone almost concerned as my thighs squeezed around his hand. “Do you want me to stop?”
My lashes tickled the bottom of my brows as I looked at him.“Mm,” I cooed, placing my hand over his and guiding him deeper. Every vein in my body was alive, pulsing, beating, playing a tune as he strummed the chords.
“That's right, my little flower, sing for me.” Pressing his finger into my pussy, he moved slow and precise.
His thumb circled my clit, rubbing it as he dipped his finger in and out. My muscles were shaking violently, quivering uncontrollably as he moved faster and faster.
Turning my face to his, I looked up, our eyes connecting as he slid a second finger inside, stretching my walls. His hard cock pushed against my hip as he rocked his waist, rubbing himself against me.
I need him, I need him more than I've ever needed anything.
Reaching my hand down, I started to slip it inside his pants, but he stopped me. Pulling my hand away, he lifted it over my head, pinning it in place. “This is just for you.” Kissing my forehead, he thrusted his fingers in deeper. “This isn't for me. I want you to feel how good some things can be. I'm not a greedy man, Berlin, let me show you.”
Is this really happening? I was tempted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. All of this was too good to be true.
The rough pad of his thumb rubbed my needy button, drawing out louder and more intense moans. I was at his mercy, completely and utterly under his control. My body had become his, his to work, his to play—his and his alone.
The orgasm took shape, tingling in my lower belly before stealing me away. I felt it, I embraced it, I let it consume me.
Snapping my eyes shut, pinks and reds, blues and purples all burst behind my lids like fireworks. I used to live in the darkness, but now I could see the colors. The shade of gray I had been living in quickly dissipated as more and more explosions of bright colors lit up inside my mind.
I could see that hope again as if I could actually reach out and touch it; feel it in my hands, curl it in my palms, bundle it up and take it with me where I went.
Opening my eyes, Salt was looking down on me with a little smirk. Kissing my cheek, he pulled his fingers from my body.
I had never seen something so beautiful in my life before, but his eyes, they held a universe of their own. One that had been selfless. One that whisked me away and gave me pleasure, not pain.
Peering up into the depths of his big, brown eyes, they flickered with pops of amber and gold, drawing me in and holding me hostage.
I was his. Salt had granted me a single night of freedom. And I was thankful for that.
I didn't know what tomorrow would bring, I didn't know if this moment would live on forever in my head, or get drowned out by an uncertain future.
But right then I didn't care.
I had this, something he had wanted to give me.
And I would hold onto it for as long as I could. Even if it fucking killed me in the end.
Because I knew, I knew I could never go back to that place.
This is your chance, Berlin.
Make him see that.
Chapter Sixteen
Salt
I watched her as she laid her hand across her chest, her breathing erratic and unhinged as stars twinkled in her eyes.
She was beautiful. In every way. From the color of her hair to the tips of her toes, Berlin was like a bright light, slowly being
drowned to silence her beauty. Every scar, every bruise, every cut, each one had a story.
A story I wished she didn't have, memories I wished she never had to relive inside her head.
You really are too beautiful.
Resting my head in my hand, I looked down on her. “Tell me about yourself. How long have you been with him?”
“You don't really want to hear my life story.” Her eyes fluttered up to mine, flicking back and forth as the question seemed to press on her chest. Inhaling a sharp breath, she held on to it for a moment before giving me a vague answer. “Too long.”
“No, really, I want to know. Exactly how long?”
I wasn't sure why, but I needed a real answer. I wanted the truth. I wanted to know all her secrets, all her pain, everything she had to endure that brought her to this point. And then I wanted to strip them from her, leaving her bare and weightless, new from the inside out.
You'll never fix her.
Rolling onto her side, she tucked her hands under her head and pulled her knees up, snuggling into the blanket. “What does it matter? Any time with that man is too long.”
“Why haven't you run?”
Glancing down at the light colored scars on her shoulder, she ran her hand across them. A feigned smile spread across her face as she softly touched the curve of her shoulder.
I had my answer.
“Those aren't scars, they're your strength.”
Blinking, her lashes fanned across her eyes like canopies as her lips parted like she wanted to scrutinize my comment. Her tongue came out, slowly licking her bottom lip. “I wish I could see it that way, all I see are reminders of a stolen life.”
Reaching my hand out, I stroked her arm, tracing the lines. “Every scar is a moment you found your own will to keep going. You could have given up, but you didn't. That says more to me about who you are than any words you could use.”
A slight smile teased the corner of her lip as she looked down at the healed wounds. Her voice was lost, replaced by a tender touch as she rested her hand on mine and squeezed. Her smile broadened, and that smile, fuck that smile could drop any man to his knees.
“That's the smile I've been waiting for.”
