Always Fraser

by A. K. Steel

  She nods, and as if on autopilot, starts throwing things in bags. I run down the hall to tell the others.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Elena

  I run through the front doors of the hospital, straight to the reception desk. “My dad, Jim Walker, was brought in two hours ago by ambulance. Do you know what room he’s in?”

  The young woman on the front desk looks me up and down then types something into her computer. Why is she taking so long? Damn me for being two hours away when something bad happens. I should have been here with him already. God, I hope he’s all right.

  The car ride felt like one of those bad dreams where you're in a rush to get somewhere and you just can't get there. Two hours felt like ten. Fraser drove as fast as he could, but it didn’t feel quick enough and the others were fussing over me the whole time. I just wanted to get to the hospital and be with my family. My chest feels so tight and I can feel my heart still racing. Please just let him be okay.

  “What was your name?”

  “Elena Walker.”

  She walks out from behind her desk. “Come with me, Elena. I’ll take you through to where the rest of your family is waiting for your dad.” She takes my hands in hers. “Now, I’m not sure if your family has kept you up to date with your dad's condition.”

  “We’ve been driving. They probably didn't want to worry me while we drove from the Gold Coast.”

  “Well, at the moment he’s in surgery. He’s had a bleed on the brain from the fall he had this morning. He’s very lucky someone found him when they did. We have one of our best surgeons in with him now so he’s in good hands.” She lets go of my hands and starts to walk down the hall.

  Oh no, my poor dad. Now the tears start. I can't hold them back any longer. I just want to see him and know he’s all right. Please let him be okay, I silently pray to whoever will listen to me.

  I look up to see the nurse is halfway down the hall already. I’m so scared I feel numb and realise I haven’t started moving to follow her. Then I feel Fraser's arm wrap around my shoulder, leading me in the direction the nurse is taking us.

  “It's going to be fine, Elly. He's a strong man. I’m sure he’s going to be okay. I’ll come with you.” He walks with his arm wrapped around me, moving me forward to the waiting room.

  As we enter the waiting room, where my family sits huddled together, they all look up. Theo sits with his arm wrapped around Fiona and Drew sits with Mum holding her hand. Their eyes rise to meet ours. These people mean everything to me, and up until now, our family has been so blessed to never have to deal with something so scary. I can see that even Theo, who is always the strong one, has been crying.

  “Elly,” Mum cries, as she rushes over to me, pulling me into a hug.

  “What’s going on, Mum?”

  “We don’t know. He’s in surgery at the moment. We haven’t heard anything since they took him in.” She has tears welling in her eyes, but I can tell she's trying to hold it together for us.

  “He’ll be okay, Mum. I’m sure of it. He has to be, right?”

  “I hope so, honey. Come on, sit down with us.” I go and sit next to Drew and he wraps his arms around me.

  “I should go,” says Fraser.

  Mum grabs Fraser's hand. “No, stay and wait with us, Fraser. You’re family too, you should be here. Thank you for bringing Elly back so quickly.” She walks him over to where she was sitting. He doesn’t say a word, just nods his head, and sits holding her hand. He’s been around my family for so long they do see him as one of us.

  I hug into Drew's chest. “You're shaking, sis, are you all right?”

  “I’m just worried. What if he’s not... what if he.”

  He cuts me off before I can say it. “He will be.”

  “I guess it's that moment when you realise, just because someone is your parent and they have been there your whole life, that doesn’t make them invincible. They won't be here forever. But I’m just praying it will be for a long time to come.”

  “He will be.” We sit in each other’s arms for a bit, then he pulls back to look at me. “Where were you two this morning, sis, you and Fraser?”

  I drop my head. I don’t want to have this conversation here and now. “You know the awards ceremony for The Green Door was last night. We stayed on the Gold Coast with Blake and Indie after it.”

  “You and Fraser are seeing each other, aren’t you?” He’s whispering so the others don’t hear. “That's what you were trying to tell me the other day before you moved.” I look at his face. I can't tell if he’s mad or just worried about Dad.

  “How did you work it out?” I sigh, feeling a weight being lifted off my shoulders.

  “The two of you have been acting weird around each other since our birthday party, and then, when we couldn’t get a hold of you this morning and Theo called Fraser, I put two and two together.”

  “Do you hate me?” I bury my head in my hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I could never find the right time, and I didn’t want you to be mad at me because of the pact we had as kids.”

  He lets out a little laugh. “Elly, we’re not kids anymore. I'm hardly going to hold you to a pact we made when we were like 14. Yeah, it's going to be weird seeing you together, but I love Fraser. He's always been part of our family, and if he makes you happy, then that's all that matters. Especially after what’s happened today. Family is everything.”

  I almost can't believe what I’m hearing. All this time I've been so worried about what the family was going to think, and they love Fraser as much as I do.

  “Thank you for saying that, Drew. You don’t know what it means to me.” The tears start again. “You know you have always been my favourite brother.”

  “I know, sis, and I always will be. Don’t keep secrets from me, though. You can tell me anything, you know that. Whatever it is, we will always work it out.”

  We all sit in silence for what feels like forever. Why haven’t they come out to tell us what’s going on? I mean, I have no idea how long this type of surgery is supposed to take, but this seems like it's taking way too long. Maybe something’s gone wrong and they can't fix it.

  As if they were reading my mind, a younger-looking doctor comes through the swinging doors and we all sit up, waiting for the news.

  "I'm Dr Cove, I was taking care of Jim's surgery today. It was a complete success and we have stopped the bleed. He’s resting in recovery, but he’s still a bit groggy, so I think it's best just a couple of you go in at a time, so you don’t overwhelm him. Mrs Walker, can I talk to you for a second before you go in?”

  He’s going to be all right, thank God! Drew hugs me again. I can see Fraser over his shoulder, walking with Mum over to the doctor. I wonder what he wants. Dad’s okay, though, so I feel like I can breathe for the first time since we had that phone call this morning.

  Mum comes back from talking to the doctor, with fresh tears. “Mum, what's going on? I thought everything was okay?”

  “Yeah, there's a few other complications. I just need to go and talk to your dad. How about you guys go down to the cafeteria and get some lunch, then you might be able to see him.”

  Fraser

  We all make our way down to the cafeteria and line up in the queue. Theo’s up front with Elly, talking to her and Fiona about the baby.

  Drew bumps arms with me. I tell him, “That was a crazy scare this morning, man. I’m glad Jim’s going to be okay.”

  “Yeah, me too. I’m not so sure about you, though, after what I just found out.” Oh shit! He knows. Theo must have told him.

  “What do you mean?” I say, backing up slightly. Is he about to thump me?

  “It's cool, man, I’m just joking. So, you and Elly, hey? She told me about you guys. I’m happy for you. It was kind of obvious something was going on.”

  “It's not going to change anything between us?” I ask.

  “As long as you look after her, or I’ll have to track you down and kill you.” He give
s his best death stare, but Drew is the least scary person I know. He couldn’t hurt a fly. I don’t think, in all the time I have known him, he’s ever been in a fight.

  “That makes two of us,” Theo pipes up. Theo on the other hand has connections and scares the shit out of me.

  I put my hands up in defence. I knew they would both be super protective of her. She’s had the three of us looking after her for most of her life. “I’m not stupid. I’m not going to do anything to hurt her. She’s safe with me.”

  Elly turns to give us a look. “You guys can stop talking about me like I’m not here. I can hear everything you're saying, and I don’t need anyone looking after me or killing anyone for me. I can look after myself, thank you very much!” she demands, with her hands on her hips, standing her ground.

  Fiona gives her a high five. “You go, girl, tell ‘em how it is.”

  “No one’s going to take that away from you,” I insist. “We all know you’re ‘Little Miss Independent’.” I wrap my arms around her and kiss her on the cheek.

  “Don’t call me that. But good, I’m not some damsel in distress that needs a hero.” She reaches up and kisses me on the lips.

  We get a disgusted look from Drew. “Gross, guess this is going to take a bit of getting used to. Can you two love birds try and control yourselves around me, please?”

  We all laugh. It's hardly the time for all of this, but it's helping to ease the tension of worrying. Maybe this little secret coming out today was the perfect timing after all. I love this family and I would do anything for them. The way they have always looked out for me and my dad. I just hope Jim’s going to be back to normal before we know it, because we'll all be lost without him if he's not.

  We gather at the cafeteria dining room and eat our lunch. There wasn’t much to choose from so it's ham-and-cheese sandwiches on white bread. You’d think a hospital cafeteria would be all about healthy eating, but clearly not this one. Elly’s scoffed hers down. She must have been hungry. We both missed breakfast in our rush to get here so it’s understandable.

  “Do you want anything else to eat? You ate that pretty fast.”

  “We did miss breakfast, you know! I’m good now, I just want to get back up to see Dad. I want to know what's going on. Mum said something about complications. What would that mean?”

  “I don’t know. Let's head back now and see what we can find out.” I do know. I was standing with her mum when the doctor said it, but Anne wanted to see Jim and find out from him what's going on before we tell the others.

  “We’re going to head back up and see if we can get in to see Jim. We'll see you guys back up at the waiting room,” I say, as I take Elly’s hand. She looks so different today, so fragile. I know I would be a mess if it were my dad, and she's really close to Jim. She's always been daddy’s little girl. Everyone knows that, so she's taking this pretty hard. But for the first time since knowing her, I can really be here for her the way I want, and her family is okay with it.

  Anne is walking back through the swinging doors to the waiting room as we make our way closer. It’s obvious she's been crying.

  Elly lets go of my hand and runs to her. “Mum, what is it, what's going on?” She wraps her arms around her mum.

  “What’s happened, Anne? Come and sit down, you look exhausted.” We all take a seat together.

  “It was more than just a fall. He had a heart attack this morning. That's what caused him to collapse and that's why his surgery took so long. They needed to work on his heart as well. They’ve had to put in a stint.”

  “But he’s going to come through this and be fine, though, right?” Elly asks.

  “Time will tell, honey, but it looks like they have been able to get to it in time, and with a few changes to his diet and helping him avoid stress, he should make a full recovery.”

  Elly looks so scared as she wraps her arms around her mum. “It's going to be okay, Mum. He’s strong and he’s had the surgery now. He’s going to be back to normal before we know it.”

  The others are now making their way back up and she's going to need to tell them. I suggest to Anne, “Can we go in and see him now? That way you can talk to the others about it.”

  “Yes, good idea, Fraser. Just remember, he’s still a bit out of it.”

  We walk in to see Jim lying in his hospital bed, his head wrapped in a bandage and his arm hooked up to a drip. It's only been a couple of days since I saw him last, but he looks so frail, not like the big strong father of this family I know so well.

  Elly knew something was going on with him. She has been worried about him for weeks but just didn’t know what was wrong. She goes over to his side and holds his hand. He opens his eyes, realising who it is.

  “Elly,” he smiles weakly up at her. “Fraser, thanks for rushing back to see me. I’m sorry your weekend away got cut short.”

  “Don’t worry about that now, Dad. We just want to see you all better.” She smiles sadly at her dad. She's really worried.

  “How are you feeling, Jim?”

  “Yeah, not too bad, mate. They’ve got me on the good stuff until I recover from the surgery, so not in too much pain.”

  “How long do they think you’ll be in here for, Dad?”

  “Probably just a week or two, while I recover, honey.”

  Elly squeezes his hand, “Is there anything we can get you from home to make you more comfortable?”

  “Thank you, Anne’s taking care of all of that. It's just nice to see your faces. Make sure you visit this week. I'm going to get bored sitting in this bed with nothing to do.”

  Elly kisses him on the forehead. “Of course we will. You're going to go nuts in here. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sit still before,” she laughs.

  “I’m sure you’ll be up fixing something in the hospital, annoying the nurses, before we know it, Jim.”

  “Let's hope so.” He gives a little smile, but I can tell he’s worried and probably in a lot more pain than he’s letting on.

  “Come on, Elly, I think the others will be wanting to come in now and your dad needs to rest.”

  She kisses him on the forehead again. “I love you, Dad, get better.” She rubs his hand and gives it a squeeze.

  “Thanks for coming to visit, you two. Fraser, you look after my baby girl."

  I nod, and he gives me a knowing smile. Well, it looks like the whole family knows. Now we can just relax and be together.

  “I'll be back tomorrow, Dad.”

  “See you then, Elly.”

  We say our goodbyes to the others and head home. Elly hasn’t said a word the whole drive back to her apartment from the hospital, and I have no idea how to talk about this. “I might just swing past my place and grab some clothes so I can stay with you tonight. I don’t want you to be alone.”

  She gives me a small smile. “Thanks, Fraser. I’m sorry today was so crazy. We were supposed to be celebrating your win.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry for. Family is the most important thing. Your dad’s going to need a lot of support over the next few months, but we have each other now, so anything you need, I’m here for you.” I rub my hand up her leg and she looks over to me with a small smile. “You can always help me celebrate later anyway.”

  “Fraser!” she says, as she slaps me on the leg. “Do you always have to go there?”

  “What, round you I do.” She laughs at me. “Why don’t you go have a shower, gorgeous, and I’ll fix you up something for dinner.”

  Elly nods and heads to her room. Poor thing looks exhausted.

  Now to work out her kitchen. I open the fridge and there's next to nothing in there. I look up to see Indie.

  “Hey, Fraser. Sorry we didn’t get to the shops this weekend. We might have to order in.”

  “Pizza it is then,” I suggest.

  “How is Jim? What's going on?”

  “He’s in recovery from the operation he had to stop the bleeding from the fall. I’ll let Elly fill you in on the
rest when she's ready, but it looks like he’s going to be fine.”

  “I’m so glad, we have been so worried all day. You look tired. Why don't you go join your girl and I’ll organise the dinner.”

  “Thank you, Indie.”

  I head down the hall and I can hear Elly crying through the door to the bathroom. I don’t know if I should go in or leave her alone. Maybe she needs this time to herself. Fuck it. I want to be there to make her feel better. I can’t hear her crying and leave her alone.

  I push open the door and find her sitting on the floor in the shower, legs crossed, head in her hands. “It's okay, Elly, I’m coming.” I strip off as fast as I can and get in as she stands up. I wrap my arms around her as she cries into my chest. “Let it all go, gorgeous. I'm here for you.”

  “I’m sorry, Fraser, today was just too much. I’m so scared for him.”

  “Don’t be sorry. You're allowed to cry after what’s happened today. It's scary seeing someone you love going through something like this. You don’t always have to be so strong. I’m here for you when you need to let it all go.”

  “Thank you, baby. You’ve been so amazing today. I don’t know how I would’ve got through it without you.”

  We stand together for quite some time, with the hot water running over us. “Come on, I think we better get out. Our pizza’s probably here.”

  “I’m not ready to let go yet,” she says, as she nuzzles her head into my chest again. I hear her stomach rumble. “I guess I am hungry. Let's go.”

  We eat our dinner in almost silence with both me and Indie not quite knowing what to say.

  “I’m sorry, guys,” Elly says, “I’m going to bed. I think I just need to sleep.” I watch her walk down the hall then look back to Indie. I feel bad to leave her with the mess to clean up.

  “Don't worry about this, Fraser. Go with her, she needs you. I’ve got it.”