Bad Girls

by Gemma Rogers

  We wore gloves and masks to go through the bags and it was difficult to talk through them. Once sorted we took a trolley round to the incinerator and left it there to be burned later. The rest we loaded on the hottest wash there was.

  The temperature outside had warmed a little and, as a result, inside felt muggier than usual. Hanna and I took a quick break outside. I plucked a cigarette from the pack Helen had bought me.

  ‘It’s hot as balls in there today,’ Hanna said, lifting her T-shirt to wipe her face.

  ‘I can’t imagine what it’s like in summer,’ I replied, thinking it must be torture. I had no doubt there was a high turnover of staff at Bright’s. As soon as probations were up, the girls would move on. I was sure now many considered it an extension of their sentence. I knew as soon as I was able to, I’d leave, whether I had another job to go to or not. I’d take my chances.

  When we went back inside, Karla gestured going for a drink and I nodded, mouthing ‘quick one’ at her. I’d have time if I didn’t have to be at Mum’s until half six. I was looking forward to seeing her again, although I knew it would be strained with Helen there. We could at least be civil, for Mum’s sake.

  At five to five, Terry’s voice boomed through the warehouse, calling me. I froze, the hairs on my arms standing to attention. Any warmth in my skin evaporated as ice flowed through my veins. Turning around, I looked for Karla, but I couldn’t see her, so disappeared to the toilet, resting my head against the tiles. It was my turn again?

  Salty tears stung my eyes, but I held them at bay. The image of my cellmate Darcy flashed into my mind. Off her nut on something when they first brought her in, screaming obscenities into the air as I cowered on my bed. It was the same terror, knowing I couldn’t escape. There was no way out now either, not unless I ran, or made a complaint, but Karla was right. No one gave a shit about us; we were scum in the eyes of the authorities.

  Terry’s voice rang out again, like a death knell and I forced myself to leave the bathroom.

  Hanna, Laura and Agnes grimaced at me as they passed, on their way to clock out. They knew full well what I was going in to. All was quiet, the machines in the warehouse no longer whirring.

  Terry’s office already had the blinds closed, but his door was open.

  ‘You wanted me?’ I bristled.

  ‘Yes I do.’ He licked his lips like a bad porno.

  My ears pounded with the beat of my heart. I closed the door, ready to tell him if he touched me again it’d be the last thing he ever did. Then I heard the belt buckle get released, the chime of metal on metal, the prerequisite to my surrender.

  Gritting my teeth, overwhelmed by the unfairness of it all, I spun around. Terry’s shirt was part unbuttoned and he already had his dick in his hand, his palm sliding up and down the shaft as a smile played on his lips. His bulbous stomach creased with imprints of his shirt. My throat closed and I looked away, dragging out the seconds.

  ‘Don’t keep me waiting.’ The playful tone gone, his voice had an edge of menace to it.

  I sank to the floor in front of him. The scent of him making me gag as I drew nearer.

  ‘Why me?’

  ‘Because you’re my shiny new toy, Jess, my new favourite bad girl. We’re just getting started.’ He chuckled and threw his head back in pleasure as I closed my mouth around him, trying to send my mind elsewhere.

  Terry entwined his fingers through my hair, forcing me down. I was sick of being someone’s plaything, used and passed around. Would Barry be next? When would it stop?

  When I was sentenced, just after my eighteenth birthday, I’d barely any experience with boys, they always wanted Ashley, not me. I was still a virgin and if Terry thought he’d be the one to take that from me, he had another thing coming. Consumed in a gulf of rage, the only sound the thud of my heart in my ears, my mind suddenly cleared. Without hesitation, I bit down.

  12

  An inhuman howl echoed above me and a palm belted the side of my head, casting me to the ground. Dazed, I tried to work out who the figure was looming over me, until my focus sharpened and I saw Terry holding his now limp penis, examining the damage. My lips tasted metal and I wiped my forearm across my mouth. I’d barely broke the skin, but it was enough. He wouldn’t be sticking it anywhere near my face again.

  Pushing myself up on one arm, Terry glared at me, face contorted. Fastening his trousers, I prepared myself for the kick which was sure to follow, but he took a step towards me and stopped abruptly, clutching his left arm. His mouth gaped and he rubbed his limb furiously. Eyes tightly shut, I scrabbled backwards.

  A mobile phone rang, lighting up his pocket, the faint sound of the Imperial March from Star Wars filling the room.

  I clambered to my feet and threw open the door to make my escape.

  Terry took one more step, deathly pale, eyes now wide like saucers. His mouth hung open like a fish, sucking for air. One hand fumbled for the phone, one reached out towards me like a zombie. I backed away, legs like jelly but unable to avert my stare as he took his third and final step, before crashing into the door frame. The walls of the office shook, and his head walloped the metal edging on the way down, landing with a thud, half in, half out of the door.

  My jaw dropped and I froze, knowing I should call for help. I should try and revive him, but he blinked, then his eyes turned to glass. Staring into the distance but not seeing anything.

  I heaved and dashed into the toilet, throwing up lunch, my entire body shaking. Get it together, Jess.

  Terrified to go back out there but terrified not to, I returned to the scene, dropping to the floor beside Terry. His hair was matted with blood, a gaping wound on the side of his head. I tried to stem the bleeding with my hand, but it was already clotting. He had fallen face down, his tongue lolling to the side of his open mouth, body laying awkwardly. It was grotesque but a part of me felt relieved he’d never touch me again.

  ‘What the fuck happened?’ a voice hissed and I jumped, looking up to see Karla’s goggle-eyes.

  ‘I don’t know, he just collapsed.’

  ‘Did you hit him? He’s bleeding!’ She glared at me, incredulous.

  I shook my head vehemently, opening my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

  ‘Well, he’s fucking dead!’ Karla continued, shaking her head in disbelief.

  I clapped both hands over my mouth, trying to stifle the scream I could sense rising from the deep. You could hear a pin drop it was so quiet, but my thoughts were all jumbled.

  ‘You have to help me,’ I pleaded, staring at Karla.

  She blinked rapidly, her brain working a hundred miles an hour. ‘I… I’ve almost finished my probation,’ she whispered, more to herself than to me.

  ‘Please, I don’t know what to do.’

  ‘You killed him, Jess, it’s fucking murder!’ She stared at Terry in a heap on the floor.

  ‘I didn’t, he just dropped dead.’ I clambered up on wobbly legs.

  ‘Well, that’s what it looks like,’ she snapped.

  Knees weak, I staggered backwards, trying to keep upright. In my mind, I saw Eddie’s bruised and puffy face, his body sprawled awkwardly on the grass, those vacant eyes. The image coming back to haunt me. My jerky movements seemed to jolt Karla into action, and she spoke quickly. Her focus returned.

  ‘Wash your hands with bleach. There’s some under the sink in the toilets. I’m going to lock the doors.’ She swept past me so fast, the air swirled, and I went to the toilet to start scrubbing.

  We stared at the flames through the tiny viewing window. My throat thick, a tear escaped, dripping down my cheek.

  ‘Don’t shed any tears for that bastard,’ Karla snapped, flexing her fingers through the latex gloves.

  ‘We could have called the police, we should have.’

  ‘You think they wouldn’t throw away the key? Wake up, Jess, your DNA was all over him. He’s got a head wound. It looked like a crime scene!’

  ‘They could have done an autopsy?’<
br />
  ‘We don’t even know what he died from, anyway, do you want to take that chance?’ I could tell she was exasperated with me. I’d happily let her take control; followed her lead, trusting her instruction would keep me out of prison and now I was whining.

  I glanced at my watch; it was quarter to seven. Mum and Helen would be waiting for me to arrive. I’d never make it there now, my chance to make amends would be ruined. My heart raced.

  ‘I need to text my sister,’ I said, turning towards the lockers.

  Karla’s bony fingers gripped my upper arm and I wrenched out of her grasp.

  ‘Are you fucking serious? We’ve just disposed of a body; we’ve got to get rid of any evidence. No phones. Keep them switched off until you’re far away from here.’

  I shook my head, trying to clear it. Stupid!

  I imagined a steaming plate of cottage pie waiting for me, not that I would have been able to eat it. Not now. Mum would be disappointed though, and Helen angry. She’d use it as ammunition, another reason to keep me away, to stop me upsetting Mum.

  Karla scowled at me and headed to the back of the warehouse, where the storage rooms were kept. She scanned the shelves, grinning when she found the floor tiles. ‘We’ve got to replace the tiles we burnt.’

  Pulling two from the pile, I followed her back to Terry’s office.

  ‘He’s got some superglue round here somewhere,’ she said, rummaging through his drawers before announcing, ‘Found it,’ with a triumphant wave.

  We glued the tiles on the floor, each standing on one to flatten it down.

  ‘Right, now we clean. Bleach the chair legs and arms, the door frame, the desk, anywhere there might be blood splatters.’

  ‘How are we going to get out of here?’ I asked, remembering the cameras at the back of the warehouse. It’s the way Terry would come in and out each day as he parked his pride and joy – a 2017 black Audi Q5.

  ‘I think I’ve got an idea. Let’s clean first. I’ll wipe down the incinerator and the toilets. Thank God it’s Friday, the cleaners will be in at the weekend and they’ll get anything we’ve missed hopefully. We’ll have to get the ash out, and whatever else is left on Monday though, as he’ll be burning for a few hours yet. I think each cycle runs for about eight hours with the warm-up. I just hope it’s enough.’

  I pursed my lips, not wanting to think about the flesh currently melting off Terry’s bones.

  We spent another twenty minutes cleaning, then changed our gloves for a fresh pair, pocketing the ones we’d been wearing to dispose of later.

  Terry’s office looked normal, as I cast my eye over it, the usual mess remained, but there was no evidence of a struggle. I spied a yellow jiffy bag on top of the in tray, the flap gaping. Was that cash? My chest fluttered as I picked it up and peeked a wodge of twenty-pound notes, there must have been a few grand inside.

  Karla came through the door, seeing my eyes on stalks.

  ‘What you got there?’ She took the packet from me and slid the notes partly out, flicking through them with her thumb. ‘Jesus!’ She whistled, a wide grin spreading across her face as she folded up the packet and stuck it in the waistband of her jeans. I stared at her open-mouthed, I wasn’t a thief but she gave me a pointed look that said it wasn’t up for discussion.

  Terry’s phone, still on the floor, rang again making us both jump. I had a headache from the amount of adrenaline pumping around my system. There’d been no time to process what had happened and I was exhausted, but I had to keep going. We only had one chance to get it right otherwise we’d be back in a cell before we knew it.

  ‘Right. You’re going to put on Terry’s coat and flat cap, and get in his car, reverse it right up to the doors, so close you’ll be in a blind spot. I’ll pull the shutters down, lock up and get in the boot. Grab his phone and wallet too.’

  My eyebrows shot skyward. I couldn’t possibly drive Terry’s car. I hadn’t been behind the wheel for years. My knees began to shake involuntarily. Couldn’t Karla do it? How did she know I could even drive? ‘Me, pretend I’m Terry? That’ll never work. He’s twice the size of me and easily six inches taller,’ I said, my voice shrill.

  ‘We have no choice, we can’t risk doing anything to the cameras on the night he goes missing, it looks suspicious. It’ll be fine, they are so high up; the picture quality isn’t great. More of a deterrent, I think. Just try and make yourself look as big as you can. Look, he’s got some steel toecap boots in here,’ Karla said, rummaging through a cupboard. She handed them to me, and I put them on. They were so big, I could get my feet inside even with trainers on.

  I had to go with it, though, I didn’t have a choice; Karla was going to get us out of this. She was the only one of us thinking clearly and I had to trust her. After all, by helping me, she now had just as much to lose.

  ‘Okay,’ I said, tying the boots and pulling on his long camel coat and flat cap. Terry thought he looked all gangster, I was sure, but he was more like Del Boy from the Only Fools and Horses reruns my mum loved so much.

  ‘I’ll get the stuff from our lockers – what’s your code?’

  ‘2148,’ I said without hesitation.

  Karla returned a minute later with our bags and coats. Holding Terry’s keys, we had a last look around the office and pulled the door shut, locking it, just like he did every night.

  ‘Let’s get the fuck out of here.’

  13

  The shutters hummed as they rolled up automatically. I half expected there to be a gang of armed police outside in the yard pointing their guns at us; my imagination always got the better of me. However, the gravelled area was empty, only Terry’s car remained on site. I was grateful we were under the cover of darkness, with the sun having gone down a couple of hours earlier. I ducked under the shutters, opening the Audi with the key fob and watching the indicators flash orange.

  Knowing I was still out of view of the camera, I checked all my hair was tucked inside the flat cap, coat collar raised, and drew myself up as tall as I could manage. Widening my shoulders in a gorilla like stance, I walked to the car, moving in as manly a stride as I could in the heavy ill-fitting boots, and climbed inside. If this worked, it would be a miracle.

  Thankfully, Terry’s Audi had tinted windows, so I didn’t have to worry about being seen slipping off the boots so I could drive in my trainers. In the rear-view mirror, I saw the shutters lower and heard a tap on the boot. I pressed the key fob to open it and watched the door to the boot lift slightly, closing again ten seconds later.

  ‘I’m in,’ Karla whispered.

  ‘Where am I going?’ I said, starting the engine. Anxiety about driving again rushed over me like a tidal wave. I hadn’t driven for four years and the last time I had, I’d killed someone. Sweat beaded on my forehead and I lifted my T-shirt to wipe it away. I had to try and leave as little evidence I’d been in the car as possible, conscious of every hair strand, skin flake or droplet of sweat which could identify me.

  ‘Head towards the town centre, I’ve got an idea,’ Karla said, popping up from behind the back seats.

  Still wearing the coat, the cap and the gloves, I slowly drove out of the yard onto the industrial estate. The Audi was like a tank compared to the Vauxhall Corsa I’d had before.

  ‘Stop over-revving it!’ Karla sounded panicked for the first time that evening.

  ‘I’m trying, I haven’t driven for four years!’ I snapped back, sweat pooling under my arms beneath the heavy material. At a set of traffic lights, I turned the air conditioner on and directed the vent towards me. Cool air blew into my face and my shoulders gradually eased down.

  Karla’s eyes were darting around the car and out of the windows, her cool composure slipping.

  ‘How do you know so much about Bright’s?’ I asked to distract her.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Karla squinted at me in the rear-view mirror; her face screwed up.

  ‘I don’t know; like the shutters and where Terry keeps his stuff?’ I asked
.

  ‘I’ve been here for five months. I see things. I’m always watching; where things are, how things work. I don’t miss anything.’

  I snorted, she sounded like Liam Neeson’s character in the film Taken.

  ‘Don’t believe me? Okay. You – on your first day, this is something you do a lot.’ She pulled down on her earlobe dramatically and I raised my eyebrows. ‘You do it when you’re nervous. You did it a lot that day, less the next day. You’ve done it loads this afternoon. It’s a habit, a tick. These are the sorts of things I notice.’

  I shrugged, turning my concentration back to the road.

  Ten minutes later, Karla directed me to pull into a side street.

  ‘I think this is the one.’ She strained her neck, looking around.

  We’d made it to the town centre, a narrow dead-end road behind the pedestrianised area, parked on a single yellow line behind a row of three cars. The two-storey buildings around us looked to be the rear of shops. A cage on wheels containing empty cardboard boxes was positioned outside a tall gate. Another had a large green industrial bin, despite the rubbish strewn around it.

  ‘Got a space as it’s still early for the pub-goers. Here is perfect.’

  ‘How do you know about this road?’ I asked.

  ‘I used to be a Saturday girl at New Look years ago, we used to park here for free if we could. Around the corner is one of Terry’s haunts. Admiral Casino.’

  ‘There’s a casino, here in Croydon?’

  ‘Well not really, it’s more slots, but I think Terry plays poker there, hence the wodge of cash. He might have been coming tonight. So, we’ll leave his car here, bin his phone somewhere, take the wallet and scarper.’