I was thrown a little and part of me was disappointed. I wanted to spend more time with her. I wasn’t sure why she was shutting it down.. “Are you sure?”
“I’m afraid so. I’ve had a very good time, though. This was a wonderful idea. Thank you.” She smiled.
“Okay.” I led her back to the car and drove her home. Standing there in front of her place, I debated on whether or not to kiss her. If I did, would that be moving too fast? Would she think I was one of “those” guys? The ones she should avoid at all costs? There was something about her that made me worry about not wanting to mess this up. She seemed so fragile, and the vague reference she’d made to a past heartbreak made me determined not to do anything to put her there again. I decided that when it came to this new relationship, slow was better.
“Thank you again for tonight. I really had a good time,” she said.
“I did too. Can I call you to do it again sometime?” I asked.
“Of course.” She smiled before turning and walking to her front door. I watched to make sure she got in safely before getting in my car.
She was really something special. Smart, beautiful and not at all like any other woman I’d ever met. I couldn’t wait to call her again. And there wouldn’t be any of that wait three days nonsense. No strategy, no games. I was going to do this one with an open mind and an open heart. No coy game-playing would work, which was good since I was terrible at that junk anyway.
9
Sammie
“So you had a good time?” Annalise slid hangers down a clothing rack, absent-mindedly searching for her size. I knew she couldn’t wait to hear how things went with Blake, and truthfully I couldn’t wait to tell her.
“I actually did. I was so nervous, but it turned out really well. He was such a nice guy,” I said.
“I’m so happy for you, Sammie. Now would this be the time to tell you that I told you so, or should I wait until later?” She jabbed me playfully in the side.
“Alright, you were right and I can admit it,” I giggled.
“Do you have plans to see him again?”
“Not yet, but I have a feeling he’ll call soon.”
“Oh, don’t hate me but I love this top. Let’s go inside.” Annalise pulled one off the rack she’d been looking through. That’s kind of how she is, just changing the subject when her mind gets stuck on something else.
“Okay, but I’m not trying it on with you,” I said.
“Why not? That’s part of the obligation that comes with shopping with a friend.”
“Because you always convince me to buy the same clothes as you, even when it’s totally not my style.” Her figure and mine were in two completely different hemispheres. She was tall and lean while I was a bit shorter but curvy.
“Are you saying I have bad taste in clothes?” Annalise asked.
“They look great on you. Not so hot on me,” I said.
Annalise laughed. “Okay, fair enough. Will you come give me your opinion, though? No pressure to buy.”
I turned to look longingly over my shoulder at the comfortable seating area just outside the store, and I did a double take. “Annalise. Look over there. I think that’s Blake. Isn’t it?”
“Where?” Annalise asked. She took a step forward, but I grabbed her arm.
“Don’t let him see us! Over there. Look.” I pointed. Blake was sitting on one of the couches with a young boy, both of them drinking milkshakes. I’d been happy to see him initially, but as I watched him with the boy something dawned on me.
“What’s wrong?” Annalise asked.
“Look at him.”
Annalise looked. “Who’s the kid? I didn’t know he was a dad.”
“Neither did I.” Tears flooded my eyes as disappointment consumed my heart. I thought I’d found a real keeper. The boy looked a lot like Blake. Why wouldn’t he have mentioned him?
“You didn’t discuss it when you went out?” Annalise asked.
“No. He didn’t bring it up at all,” I replied.
“Maybe he didn’t want to scare you off,” she answered.
“Maybe. But what if he didn’t bring it up because he’s not actually single?” My pulse was racing and my head was pounding. It was happening again. I let my guard down and was about to get hurt again. This was why I was going to spend the summer working on myself, building my self confidence back up again. I was tired of getting hurt.
“You can’t know that. Maybe that’s not even his kid. Maybe he’s babysitting.” God bless Annalise for trying her best to look at the bright side of things. I wanted to believe her logic but my gut wouldn’t let me.
“Do you see that kid, Annalise? There’s no way those two aren’t very closely related. Father and son related. I think he lied to me about being single.”
In fact, I was sure of it. It would be easy for a firefighter with twenty-four hour shifts to get away with deceit. Plenty of opportunity to leave a wife and children to go to work. In my mind, I was already convinced he’d deceived me about who he was. I should have trusted my gut and left well enough alone.
“You don’t know that, Sammie. Be careful about assuming things so the pieces of your agenda fall into place.”
“What agenda?” I asked.
“You know what I mean.” Annalise gave me a look.
“No, I don’t.”
“I mean that you’re already worried about getting your heart broken. This could be a really good opportunity to use an assumption as an excuse to back away.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.” I looked at her and hoped she saw how much her words were hurting me.
“You don’t even know if that’s his kid. Maybe he’s babysitting.”
“He looks exactly like him!”
“So go ask him.” Annalise challenged.
“Ask him what?”
“Ask him if that’s his kid, if he’s married. If it’s true, you’d be able to tell within seconds.” She motioned for me to go to him.
“There’s no way I’d humiliate myself like that.”
“Then what are you going to do?” She tilted her head and waited while I thought about my options.
Finally I looked back at her. “I don’t know yet.”
10
Blake
I couldn’t get her out of my mind. Parts of our date at the fair kept replaying in my head. The way her hair fluttered in the breeze and how she giggled when she brushed it back when it got messed up. Or when she smiled at me and I felt like the luckiest man in the world. That girl didn’t know the power she had over me. And I had no idea how that had happened so fast. I didn’t fall this easily.
Quite frankly, I wasn’t used to reacting like this. I usually had enough work to keep me occupied. This time, my work came in second as my mind wandered off into what life would be like with Sammie around more often. I dropped the wet sponge into the soapy water before lifting it out and squeezing it. I plopped it against the fire truck wheels and tried to make sure I washed every spot.
I wondered what was in her past that had made her so wary. She seemed like a catch to me. She was smart, and caring, and funny. And beautiful too, of course. Maybe not in the typical way you would see in Hollywood, but in a pure and wholesome way. That sort honest of beauty appealed to me much more than the perfectly engineered look.
I knew she’d come out of her shell. I had a strong feeling she just needed to feel safe. But once she did, she was so much fun to be around. I enjoyed watching her act like a kid. I may not be a rocket scientist, but I was smart enough to know that I’d never met anyone like her and I was going to do what it took to see her again. I felt like a superhero for being able to break through her shyness.
But what should I do for a second date? She loved books, so we could visit the cafe in the downtown library. No, she spent all day in a library, maybe she’d like to do something different. Maybe I could arrange some sort of candlelit dinner where we were the only two patrons. She’d probably love that.
> It was time to admit to myself that I’d never met anyone like Sammie before. I’d dated often enough, but nothing that lasted. I’d been through difficulties in my time, and I wasn’t going to settle for just anybody. Most of the women I’d dated before had been too immature for me, usually coordinated by matchmaking friends who had good intentions but didn’t quite hit the mark when it came to my type of woman.
I felt a slap on my back and turned to see Joe Haney smiling at me. “Hey brother, how you doing?”
Joe was an Army buddy I served with during the war. We were stationed together in Iraq. Joe was the kind of guy you wanted in the foxhole with you if you’re ever in trouble. He’d saved my life when our convoy came under fire one day, and since that day our bond was unbreakable. When I got out of the military, I looked him up and found that he’d settled in Pine Ridge. He was the one who gave me a character reference to get into the academy. It’s been the best decision I’ve ever made. I love being a firefighter. I love being part of something greater than myself. Even getting a cat down from a tree is filled with purpose.
Joe was happily married with two kids. He and Ashley were high school sweethearts who had married right after school. His life was what I aspired to have. When he looked at Ashley it was obvious she was his soulmate. And she looked right back at him the same way. I wouldn’t settle for anything less than that kind of relationship. If the woman would be mine forever, then she’d look back at me the same way I looked at her. Sammie was intriguing. I thought a future with her might be possible, but I wasn’t sure if she could see the same thing with me. Then I pushed those thoughts away. How could I really know any of this after only one date?
“I’m great, man. How are you?” I said.
“Not too bad. How’d things go the other night?”
I knew he was referring to my date with Sammie. “It went really well.”
“Yeah? How well? As in wife potential?” Joe was a man of few words but knew how to read me.
“It’s probably a little soon to tell about that, but possibly. Definitely second date potential.”
“I see guys out here and how hard it is to find a wife who isn’t afraid to have a husband with a dangerous job.” Joe laid his backpack on the ground. “It’s hard for Ashley and the kids sometimes.”
“How do you handle it?” I asked.
“We talk about it. You need to share a strong bond and have some faith, of course,” Joe said.
“I get that.” I sighed and shook my head. “Well, I don’t want to say too much and jinx myself, but I have a good feeling, you know?”
“Hey man, just keep doing what you’re doing.” Joe slapped me on the back before picking up his backpack and continuing onto the back of the firehouse.
I pulled out my phone and thought about calling her, but chickened out. Instead I typed out a text, taking my time so I could choose my words carefully. I also didn’t want to look like silly with any auto-correct mistakes.
I was dying to see her again, but I didn’t want to seem too eager. I knew how ridiculous I was being and middle school kids didn’t behave this childishly. I’d always brave in the face of danger and uncertainty, but this was taking a big chunk out of that. It was just another sign of the way I felt about this girl. Sammie was someone special, I could just feel it.
I blew out a rough breath and hit send. I wondered how long it would take her to answer. Not long, I hoped.
11
Sammie
I could feel my phone vibrating in my skirt pocket as I sat in the pew with my sister and her family on Sunday morning. I didn’t check it. Somehow I knew it was going to be Blake, texting me again.
“Is that your phone, Aunt Sammie?” Amelia whispered loudly. She was sitting next to me, her leg pressed up against mine, so she could feel the vibrating too.
“Yes,” I whispered back. “Shhh. Let’s listen right now.”
“Don’t you want to see who it is?”
“I know who it is,” I couldn’t help replying.
“Don’t you want to see what they say? My daddy always answers his phone right away.”
In fact, I’d heard Melissa complain about Brad constantly jumping to answer his phone, but I didn’t say anything negative to Amelia. All I said was, “I’m going to wait until church is over and answer then.”
Amelia nodded sagely. “You don’t want to interrupt God. I get it.”
I had to press my lips tightly together to keep from laughing. Amelia was hilarious. Being an aunt was fun, and the more time I spent with Melissa’s kids the more I loved them. Instead, all I did was nod solemnly, and Amelia went back to flipping through the hymn book and swinging her legs back and forth. I turned to face the front, and tried to listen to the sermon even though my mind was a million miles away.
After Annalise and I had seen Blake and his son at the mall yesterday I’d gone home and cried. Tears weren’t always my first choice when I was upset, but this time it was the only way I could get some of the hurt out. I was convinced the boy was his son, no matter what theories Annalise might come up with to explain what he was doing with the little boy.
I felt pathetic. I felt used. I felt embarrassed. I should have known better. I had known better, but I’d let Annalise talk me into going out with him anyway. I could tell she felt bad that I was so upset, but I didn’t care. At some point last night, in a furious journal-writing frenzy, I’d stopped being mad at Blake and switched my anger’s focus to Annalise.
She knew how nervous I was to date again. I’d tried dating in college, and every time I went in with a hopeful heart only to get crushed by reality. Maybe I’d read too many romance novels where the heroine found love when she was least expecting it. Maybe I was just too romantic at heart. But I could never find someone who I truly enjoyed spending time with. There’d been nobody who shared my values and my hopes and dreams for the future. Not one single guy I’d been out with had been on the same page as me.
I’d almost thought that I’d found my perfect match when I’d met Grant shortly before I’d graduated. We had been together for nearly a year before he’d casually mentioned how inconvenient the student loans from my master’s degree in library science were going to be, since I’d be staying at home with our kids anyway. I’d been stunned.
I didn’t have anything against being a stay at home mom, and truthfully, I’d even thought it would be wonderful to stay home when I had young kids if I could. But the way he’d dismissed all the hard work I’d put in to earn my master’s degree and the joy that I’d found in being a librarian, was a jolt. For him to assume I’d happily give it all up without even a conversation had been the beginning of the end. And on top of that, the guy hadn’t even proposed yet. He was also assuming I’d agree to marry him if he ever got around to popping the question.
When I sat down and really thought about it, that wasn’t the only area where Grant and I were incompatible. So I had ended things, and moved home to settle back into the house I’d grown up in. Just like that, a chapter in my life closed and a new one opened.
At first it had seemed like defeat, since I’d worked so hard to get that scholarship. I’d wanted to go to school there for as long as I knew I was going to college. Auburn wasn’t too far from home and that was appealing to me. After my bachelor’s, I went on to get a master’s degree. I’d need the advanced degree to run a library in the school system. I had been looking for a job in Birmingham to follow Grant there when it all had ended. And suddenly, I’d ended up back at home, single, and jobless.
I was a little over a year out from that experience now, though, and things were going much better than they sounded. Truthfully, the thought of living in Birmingham had been a little overwhelming at times, and I preferred the slower pace of Pine Ridge. I’d found a job much faster than I’d expected and was so grateful that had fallen into place.
I loved my place at the elementary school, and I’d reconnected with Annalise and my sister Melissa. On the surface, things were go
ing pretty well. I had to admit I just wasn’t ready to put myself back out there.
Just then, the congregation started to rise around me, and I realized that the service was over. I’d completely missed the whole sermon, I had been so deep in my thoughts.
I followed Brad, Melissa, and the kids to the community room next to the church, where coffee and snacks had been laid out. Amelia, Logan, and Isabella all grabbed cookies and ran off to play with their friends, and I hovered awkwardly with my coffee in the background while Melissa and Brad chatted with their friends. They seemed to know everybody, and I couldn’t help but feel a little bit left out.
I reached in to my pocket and pulled out my phone. There it was. A text from Blake, just like I’d suspected. I looked at it quickly. This one was short. ‘Everything ok?’
Yesterday he’d texted me twice, asking how my day had gone. I hadn’t told Annalise. I knew she would have made me answer him. She would have made me ask him what he’d done that day, and I would’ve had to either listen to a lie or get the news that he has a son in text message form. Neither was an option I could stomach. I was just going to ignore him. In fact, I should delete his texts along with his number, in case I had a moment of weakness later and wanted to get in touch with him.
My finger hovered over the button for deleting contacts. I took a deep breath, and pressed it. A pop up screen appeared. Was I really sure I wanted to delete this contact?
“Sammie! There you are. Dan, this is my sister I was telling you about the other week. Samantha Rowell. Sammie, this is Dan Hopkins. The guy I mentioned.”
I slid my phone back in to my pocket quickly. “Hi, Dan” I said, “it’s nice to meet you.”
“You too,” said Dan, holding out a hand for me to shake. I fumbled my coffee cup to my other hand so I could take his hand.
First Impressions (Hero Hearts: Firefighter) Page 5
