Desperate to Die

by Barbara Ebel

  Downstairs, Bob had double parked, so they hastily climbed into his small Honda, keeping the cooler on the floor in front of Annabel.

  “I-75 to I-71 to I-65,” she sputtered as they pulled away. “Have you ever been to Nashville?”

  “I pass by and never spend time there. That goes for the whole state.”

  “You’re missing out on the best there is to offer: the Smoky Mountains, all the state and national parks, lakes, and the activities in the three big cities. And for live music, you can’t beat the Music City. It beats Indianapolis.”

  “You remembered,” he said. “Yes, I grew up in Indianapolis and our only claim to fame is an annual fast car race. The state is flat and boring, but maybe I became a good student because of it. I wasn’t lured to the great outdoors, an ocean, or a lake. Someday I’m going to make up for the lack of those experiences.”

  “I don’t know,” Annabel said. “It’s all downhill from here as far as leisure time goes.”

  “I hope that’s not totally true.”

  Bob soon pulled onto I-71, headed southwest, and cut back on the heat blowing from the vents. As he pulled out his hot coffee from the cup holder, Annabel let out a gasp.

  “Oh, no,” she said. “I can’t believe I forgot tonight’s date with Robby Burk.”

  Bob glanced for a second at her and eased his foot off the accelerator. “Do you want to go back?”

  She gulped and closed her eyes. “There’s nothing I can do about it. The timing is deplorable for a date, but I wouldn’t miss going home where I’m needed. If I theoretically think it through, Robby Burk isn’t going anywhere, but the most special dog in my life is.”

  She frowned. “I guess I need to call our old chief resident.”

  CHAPTER 14

  The clouds above thinned and parted for a few minutes, allowing the sun to bathe the Honda Fit as Bob and Annabel sped along in the right lane with little traffic. The sunshine gave them the illusion it was seventy degrees outside the car.

  With the phone still in her hands, Annabel contemplated what she would say to Robby Burk, especially if she was forced to leave a voicemail message. She would hate doing that. Leaving a message was a cold way to break a date … only one step better than standing someone up.

  As she dialed his number, she bit her lip. Maybe he was sleeping after his call.

  “Annabel, I’m glad you called,” Robby said right away. “I’m home after a hectic night and surgery. I just checked the online schedule and found us a movie for tonight. It features a new crime detective team with lots of action. But, of course, I’m looking forward to seeing you over dinner and hearing about your rotation.”

  She hated to burst his bubble but plunged ahead. “I learned terrible news from my family this morning, Robby. Our geriatric dog is at the end of his life span. I am heading home now. An important family decision needs to be made together and we may need to put him to sleep.”

  “Home is Nashville, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  “You are making a long drive for such a short circumstance. That’s considerate of you.”

  “Nothing that you wouldn’t do.”

  “For a person, you’re right …”

  She scrunched her forehead. Did that mean he wouldn’t do the same thing for a beloved family pet?”

  “I’m really sorry that I must break our date for tonight,” she said, “particularly since we fumbled up the first one and synchronizing tonight wasn’t easy.”

  More than that, she thought, she had the hots for him and couldn’t wait to finally be on a real date with him - a one-on-one dinner sitting across from him. A date that could end up with a good night kiss or more. His lips, she bet, would taste better than any dreaming about them. She gulped some air and snapped back to their conversation.

  “I’m sorry too,” he said. “Perhaps we can rearrange something at a later date. You get on with your driving. Why don’t you give me a call in a week or two after you figure out your dog?”

  “Okay,” she said. “Thanks for understanding.”

  “No problem.”

  They both hung up and Annabel stared a moment at her phone.

  “Annabel,” Bob said, breaking into her thoughts. “One of these nights if you’re feeling depressed, we can go to that comedy to pick up your spirits … the movie we talked about and you were going to see tonight with Robby.”

  She blinked a few times. “Yeah, maybe. I didn’t seem to have a say in that movie because he said we were going to a detective action film.”

  Bob didn’t comment; they continued on in silence in northern Kentucky and drove straight through Louisville.

  -----

  Gloria fussed about leaving her mother alone with the caretaker because it was not a normal day to do so. She stayed committed to the house and her mother except for the three long days she worked. After leaving unnecessary redundant requests for the aide, she finally left and headed for her interview.

  She dispelled any nervousness as she sat in front of the personnel manager. The middle-aged stout woman gave Gloria the benefit of the doubt why she didn’t work a forty-hour week; in essence, she worked about a hundred hours a week between her mother and her employer. “You are a saint,” the woman said. “A Mother Theresa in Southern Ohio. I would love to snatch you from your present job and bring you on board here.”

  Gloria rubbed her hands. She could practically smell the sanitizer because of her massaging it deep through the epidermis. “Does that mean I can give them notice and I’m hired?”

  The woman smiled and rose. Extending her hand into Gloria’s, she nodded and said, “The need for medical assistants in our hospital, as well as everywhere else, keeps growing. Yes, you are hired. Let me know when you can start and come by soon to sign the paperwork. And continued good luck with your mother’s care.”

  Gloria put her hands on the side of her head with enthusiasm and pulled at her golden honey hair. “Thank you so much. Rending care in a military hospital is what my family was all about.” She put on her jacket in the hallway and forced herself to put the news aside. A new thought-provoking decision was at hand and it was her duty to prepare. Implementing the needed actions, however, was a different story; she didn’t need to commit herself to any uncomfortable deeds … yet.

  She left the medical campus as the clouds thinned out and a fraction of warmth penetrated the inside of her car. It warmed her body and her soul and being the religious and superstitious person that she was, she felt a spiritual angel had nodded his or her approval at her considerations.

  The aide would still be at the house minding Darlene, so Gloria had plenty of time to go to the home improvement store where the rows and rows of stocked items on steel shelves out-supplied what she had viewed online. Besides, she would avoid making a record of her purchase online and she had thought ahead about today’s purchase as well. At the register, she’d use cash and not a credit card, and she’d also buy plenty of what she needed in only one large size. She got out of her car, trudged her way along the salted asphalt parking lot to the automatic doors, and disappeared inside.

  -----

  Darkness settled on the roads as the sun slipped away behind the buildings in Nashville and Bob scanned the skyline. He noted a skyscraper to the right towering above the rest of them. “Those two soaring spires on that building make it look like Batman,” he said.

  “That’s the AT&T building or, like you say, the Batman building. More importantly, below it is Broadway and the makings of the best bars and music joints anywhere. You can spend night after night walking in and out of them and listening to live performers. Of course, you sip some moonshine along the way.”

  “Sounds like fun. We should do it sometime.”

  “Before we go our separate ways on rotations,” she said, “or because of residencies.”

  “I have never tried moonshine.”

  “It’s such a kick … like starting an IV and mainlining booze.”

  “
That bad, huh?”

  She laughed. “Not only that, you’ll want to taste-test a couple of flavors. Everything from coffee to blackberry. You can end up on your ass before you know it.”

  “I’m glad to hear you laugh, because in a little while, nothing at your home will be very funny.”

  “Speaking of which, I need to fill you in about my family. You’re aware of my dad being a doctor. There’s a lot to take in about the rest of the family and, if I’ve told you anything about them before, you probably don’t remember.”

  “Please tell me. I can’t crash on a couch where I don’t even know everyone’s names.”

  “You’re not sleeping on a couch. The house is huge. My mom and dad live in the basement with their own separate entrance. The place is big and spacious and how they ended up there is a long story. In addition, they aren’t married.”

  “What?” Bob asked, wanting clarification.

  “They divorced because of an affair my dad had, but then they got back together again. I have a half-sister, Julia, from my dad’s indiscretion. Not only that, but Dakota was originally the ‘other woman’s’ dog. She was, and probably still is, the most diabolical human being to ever come into our family’s life or anyone else’s life for that matter.”

  “Annabel, she sounds like a loser.”

  “I summarized all that, but the saga is much more harrowing than it sounds. Anyway, the big house belonged to my grandparents. My father’s only sibling, my Aunt Mary, was bequeathed the home. She married my father’s best friend who is a paramedic. His name is Casey and he’s the coolest guy. They live in the upstairs, but everyone kind-of always gathers on the main floor and out in the yard during the summer. In addition, they have young twins named Tommy and Melissa.”

  “What about the sister you mentioned?”

  “Nancy’s younger than me and graduates from college this spring, but she doesn’t know what she wants to do. You may remember me telling you I had another sister who wanted to go to medical school. She died,” Annabel said with sorrow. “That was rough on all of us and I still miss her. My aunt and uncle named their female twin, my cousin, after her.”

  “It sounds like your family is very close to each other. That’s remarkable everyone lives under the same roof because extended families living together is a thing of the past.”

  “Except for my half-sister, who is with her mother, we are all bound to each other and almost inseparable. It has been that way for as long as I can remember and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

  “Thanks for the family history lesson. Now I won’t feel like such a dork when I meet them all.”

  After Annabel pointed to an exit off of I-65, Bob later entered a spacious subdivision, drove down a long street occasionally dotted by a mega-home, and pulled into a driveway.

  -----

  Due to security cameras installed on the edges and entryway of the house, Danny watched the Honda pull up to the garage. He opened the front door as Annabel was about to grasp the door knob.

  Annabel fell into her father’s arms and he gave her a tight squeeze. “Dakota and all of us are glad you made the trip,” he said. “I hope the inconvenience isn’t going to disrupt your clinical duties.”

  She bobbed her head back and forth and continued to hold on to him from the side. “Dad, this is Bob. So far this third year, we’ve been through every rotation together. Bob drove me here and maybe tonight he can sleep in Melissa’s old bedroom.”

  Danny extended his hand with a smile. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Likewise, sir.”

  “I’m sorry the circumstances aren’t better, but welcome to our home.”

  “Thank you. I won’t be an imposition.”

  “No friend of my daughter’s is an imposition. Do you have anything to bring in from the car?”

  “Not much, Dad.”

  “I’ll go fetch our belongings,” Bob said.

  Danny stepped out and followed Bob while Annabel walked through the corridor to the rear of the house. She scanned the kitchen and great room to see family members, but her eyes settled on Dakota on the floor. He awkwardly rose, his tail acknowledged her, and he limped over to greet her.

  “Dakota,” she said and kneeled on the floor. He leaned against her and her arm wrapped around his belly. She sidled her head against his, kissed him, and smelled the familiarity of his coat. Her hand came out from under him and she rubbed her palms back and forth into his neck and his sorrel fur. She leaned her head in and kissed his forehead and his snout. “Look at you, boy. I missed you. I’m sorry you don’t feel well.”

  Dakota surprised her and stepped over to his toy box and barked. After selecting a plastic bone, he grabbed it in his muzzle, and dropped it beside her.

  “You still possess your spirit, don’t you, boy?”

  Her mother, Sara, waited and then gave her a hug. A long sweater hung to her waist like she was wrapped up for comfort.

  Behind Annabel, Danny and Bob now stood behind her.

  “Aunt Mary, Uncle Casey, and Nancy, this is my friend, Bob,” Annabel said.

  Casey leaned over and shook Bob’s hand. “Thanks for coming with Annabel,” he said.

  “Hi,” Nancy said.

  “I’m glad you came,” Mary said. “What can we get the both of you?”

  “Just something to drink,” Annabel said. “Where are the twins?”

  “Upstairs taking an overdue nap,” Mary said, stepping to the refrigerator. After Bob also met Sara, Danny motioned them to the couch. Annabel sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the ottoman. Dakota carefully lowered his back hips half way and then gingerly completed the distance to the floor. His front legs slinked down until he nestled near Annabel.

  “I can tell by the look on your faces that the decision is made,” Annabel said.

  Casey took one of the soft drinks from his wife and crouched down to Annabel and handed it to her. Her hand cupped the glass and she searched her uncle’s face. He was a handsome paramedic with a happy disposition and a devout gym routine. For as long as she could remember, he had a body that would stop women short. However, she admired his devotion to her aunt. In a way, her aunt and uncle’s lives were so unalike. He was an adrenaline junkie out in the field saving lives in nasty trauma accidents or in home medical emergencies while she spent quiet days at home upstairs in her art studio painting landscapes and portraits.

  “His condition,” Casey said, “has required constant care, which we’ve carried out with love, but the last two days are pulling at our heart strings.”

  A high-pitched sound came from Dakota’s mouth and the skin around his mouth flapped along with the breathing turbulence. He rested his head back flat between his paws.

  “I see …” she said.

  “He can barely choke down his food because of that,” Casey said. “This morning, we sadly watched but didn’t try to feed him his second meal of the day.”

  Annabel wiped a tear away before it slid down her cheek and she rested her hand back on Dakota’s fur. “I agree with you all,” she said, her voice quivering. She couldn’t look back up at them. “It’s time,” she added.

  -----

  Danny called the animal hospital and informed the staff working late that they would be coming in an hour.

  “We have time to give Dakota more hugs,” Danny said with a frown. “Who is coming with me?”

  “It would be too much for all of us to go,” Mary said. “Casey and I will stay. You’re the one who brought Dakota into our lives, Danny, so you should be with him in the end.”

  Casey nodded and rubbed Annabel’s shoulder.

  “I’ll stay,” Sara said. “Do you girls want to be there?”

  “Even though I may not be able to handle it, I’m going,” Nancy said.

  “I’m coming, Dad,” Annabel chimed in.

  A silence ensued until Nancy curled up with Dakota and her sister on the floor. “We love you, Dakota,” Nancy said. “We’re going to miss you like craz
y, but we’ll see you later in heaven.”

  Dakota rolled more to his side into Annabel as they continued to pet him.

  “We’ll have a bucket load of fond memories,” Sara said. “We can take solace in that.”

  “I think quite often how Dakota may have saved Julia’s life,” Casey said.

  “What happened?” Bob ventured.

  “Julia is Danny’s other daughter. She was just a baby in the playpen on the back patio. It was our wedding day,” he said, pointing to Mary. “We were all running around here like chickens without our heads. The ceremony and reception was scheduled here for later that day.

  “Anyway, Dakota was barking his head off out there,” Casey said, pointing out the French doors, “trying to get someone’s attention.” I stepped out where he was minding Julia in her playpen and still didn’t know what his fuss was all about. He corralled me over to the other side of the playpen where I couldn’t see and there on the ground was a copperhead.”

  Bob peeled his eyes away from Casey and stared at Dakota. “Wow,” he sighed. “That must have been quite a scare. Your dog is a lifesaving hero. I can’t begin to grasp how difficult this must be for all of you. And him, too.”

  “On the bright side,” Danny said, “our Chesapeake has had a great life. We can be proud that we gave him back his love in return.”

  -----

  In less than two hours, after Danny lifted Dakota out of his car, Annabel, Nancy, and Danny walked their Chesapeake along the hardwood floor to a secluded back room in the animal hospital. The dog followed his family back in good faith and without hesitation. Danny sat on the leather loveseat and Nancy sat on the floor against the wall. Annabel cuddled next to Dakota, the door opened, and a young woman Annabel’s age entered.

  “I can take him to the back to start his IV,” she said.

  “Why can’t you do it here?” Annabel asked.