by Lori Wick
40
The families had been wired the good news and were asked to visit later. Ten days after Jackie asked Clayton to marry her, just two days before Clayton’s twenty-second birthday, Jackie stood in the Langley’s living room wearing Eddie’s wedding dress and preparing to become Mrs. Clayton Taggart. Much to everyone’s astonishment, she was not nervous. Her eyes were shining with peace and happiness, and she stood very still, trying not to wrinkle, while Eddie and Lena ran all over the house.
Clayton could have used some of her calm. He and Travis were at his house, and Travis had offered to take him to the church. The young groom was beside himself.
“I can’t stop shaking,” he admitted.
“Second thoughts?”
“No.” He smiled and laughed a little. “None of that, just, I don’t know….”
Travis smiled compassionately and decided that now was not the time to tell him his hair was on end. Once they got to the church, he would hand him a comb.
“What if she’s having second thoughts?” Clayton suddenly asked Travis.
“I don’t think she is,” he said calmly. “I think she was ready to marry you weeks ago.”
This arrested Clayton’s attention like nothing else could.
“Why do you say that?”
“It’s just something I’ve observed, Tag. I’m no expert on women, but when a lady blushes every time she’s in your presence, there’s something going on.”
“But she doesn’t do that.”
“Not now, but a few weeks back, before she really got comfortable with you, she was beside herself to say the right thing every time.”
Clayton nodded. He of course had seen some of this, but never the way Travis would have observed. Things always looked different when your own heart was involved. Clayton wanted to ask his friend what else he had noticed, as Travis was a very observant man. The conversation would have helped Clayton’s nerves, but instead he started to pace again. There was less than an hour to go, and it felt like eternity.
“I don’t want to wrinkle,” Jackie told Robert. Robert tried not to laugh. She looked so serious and solemn all of a sudden that he was reminded of Eddie on his own wedding day. Well, marriage wasn’t something to be entered into lightly, so maybe serious wasn’t so bad.
“Am I wrinkling?”
This time he had to laugh.
“What’s so funny?”
“You. You’re about to be married, but you’re more concerned with your dress wrinkling.”
Jackie grinned at herself. It did seem a little silly, and she told herself not to be vain.
“We’d better go or Eddie will look back from Ray and Lena’s wagon and have heart failure.”
“Has the dust settled?”
“Here we go again.” Robert’s sigh was longsuffering and comical. “First it was wrinkles and now dust. I’m going to wish I’d sent you with them.”
Jackie tried not to smile, but she couldn’t pull it off. In the next few minutes Robert tucked her neatly into the buggy and moved them through town. They didn’t talk much, but he looked over at her several times. Seeing Eddie’s dress on her frame was a special treat for him. It looked better on Eddie—she’d filled it out more—and it was fun to remember how lovely she had been on that day.
“I hope Clayton is there.”
“You’re doubting?”
“Well, not that he’ll show up at all, just that he’ll get there first. Are you certain I look all right?”
“You look wonderful.”
“I’ll try to believe that.”
It was quiet for a few minutes. Jackie listened to the sounds around her.
“It’s an overwhelming thing at times, Robert,” she told him softly. “I’ll never see my husband’s face or the faces of our children.”
She had never talked about this before. Robert was surprised and didn’t comment.
“But it could be so much worse,” she went on. “I could have been blind from birth, and then Eddie’s telling me the new dress fabric is blue wouldn’t mean a thing. Do you see?”
“Yes. You’ve found things to be thankful for amid the difficulty.”
“And it is difficult, Robert, but not impossible. I had to make the choice to live with this, and of course you and Eddie were a huge help in that, but I had choices to make so that God could make this bearable for me. My only worry is that I’ll have a baby and someone will take her from me.”
“No one is going to do that, Jackie. Why would they?”
“Because I can’t take care of her without my sight.”
“You don’t know that. Look at the changes in you these last months. There isn’t anything you can’t do around the house.”
“But she’ll grow. What if she walks away from me and I can’t find her?”
“We’ll tie a bell onto her.”
Robert’s voice and matter-of-fact solution was so amusing that she began to giggle. When Robert said she was making her face all red, she laughed harder. They arrived at the church amid much silliness.
It was not a large wedding. The church family had been invited to a reception a week down the road, but today’s gathering was small. The Langleys, Pastor Henley, his wife, Beryl, and Raymond and Lena, along with Travis, made the short guest list. Everyone was already inside when Robert stopped the wagon and Travis came out to lend a hand.
“Is Clayton here?” she wished to know.
“No,” Travis teased her. “He jumped on the stage and ran for it.”
“Oh, Travis, you have to stop,” she told him with more giggles. “Robert already said my face is red enough.”
The rancher hustled her inside where Eddie and Lena were ready to make adjustments on her dress and to hand her over to Clayton. She had not wanted to walk up the aisle where she would have to grope about to find Clayton, so he was going to walk her up himself. When Eddie and Lena finally stepped back, Clayton, who had been watching all the proceedings with love-filled eyes, came to her.
“Hi,” he said softly. Jackie beamed.
“I made it.”
“Yes; you look beautiful.”
She smiled and said, “How do you look?”
Clayton chuckled. “My hair was on end, but it’s better now.”
Jackie put her hand on his chest. He covered it with his own, and leaned to kiss her cheek.
“Ready to become my wife?”
“Yes,” she said a little too loudly, and they both laughed.
Clayton turned her and started up the aisle. Jackie had not wanted music, and she’d asked everyone to stand for the ceremony. It was unlike anything any of them had ever done, but it was very special. The bride and groom stood opposite Pastor Henley while the rest of the party stood to the sides of them, forming a half circle around the clergyman.
It was not a long service, but serious and unique. Clayton and Jackie turned to each other and said the things that were on their minds. They wanted these special friends and family to witness these vows and hold them accountable.
“I love you, Clayton,” Jackie began, her voice soft. “Before God and these dear friends, I promise to put your needs ahead of my own. I can’t see your eyes, Clayton—not today or ever—but I put my trust in you that you will always tell me what’s in your heart. I know God has prepared me for this day, and although I know there will be adjustments, I vow to you from this day forward that I will strive to be the wife you need.”
“I love you, Jackie,” Clayton began just after Jackie finished. “I vow before God and the ones gathered here that I will be the leader of our home the way God would have me to be. I promise to be there for you, Jackie, and also to tell what’s in my heart every day of our lives. I praise God that He brought us to this place. I know He will show us how to serve Him better.
“It doesn’t matter today that you can’t see me and it’s not going to matter tomorrow. I will always love you, Jackie, and cherish your love for me as a rare and precious gift.”
Even bef
ore the pastor could pronounce them husband and wife, Clayton leaned forward and tenderly kissed the woman he loved.
Eddie bawled her way through the proceedings, and even Robert was overcome a few times. All in all, it didn’t take very long, and there was much laughter and talking as they all filed from the church to head for the Langleys’ for a special dinner.
Out at the wagons, Clayton helped his bride become comfortable. Robert was going to ride with Travis in order to give Jackie and Clayton some time alone. Eddie went ahead with Lena and Raymond. Pastor and Mrs. Henley were on their way as well.
The two men had just come to Travis’ wagon when two girls, looking to be around 14, passed by. That they found the big rancher good-looking was more than obvious, and as the man climbed aboard the seat, they shared a smile.
“You get stared at by a lot of women, Travis,” Robert suddenly commented.
“Do I?”
“Yes. I just never realized it before now. Maybe it’s time you get married,” Robert teased him.
Travis, who had raised the reins, went very still. He forced himself to turn and look at Robert, who looked right back.
“I’m already married, Robert. I’m sorry I never told you before.”
The banker stared at him. “You’re married?”
“Yes.”
Robert was silent for a full 30 seconds.
“Where is your wife?”
“I don’t know,” was the pained reply, and Robert only nodded. “Maybe someday I can tell you about it.”
“Sure.” Robert’s voice was kind. “Whenever you want to or don’t want to, Travis.”
Travis thanked him and slapped the reins. Robert was a good friend, and Travis felt relief at having finally told him. Maybe someday it could all come out, but not now. Now he needed to go and help Clayton and Jackie celebrate and get off to a good start. His prayers were that their marriage would be far different than his own.
“Okay, do you remember where everything is?”
“I think so,” Jackie told her husband, who had just shown her around their bedroom.
“Would you like a few minutes alone?”
“Yes.”
Clayton turned to leave, but Jackie’s voice, a little uncertain, stopped him. “Are you going far?”
“No. I’ll be right outside the door. When you call, I’ll come back.”
Jackie smiled. “All right. And my gown… it’s here?”
“Yes. Right over the footboard.”
Jackie smiled again and this time didn’t call him back. She was married. She was married to Clayton. Her Clayton. It was just too wonderful to be true. With hands that shook just a little, she began to undress. She laid her clothing very carefully on the chair and slipped into her new white nightgown. It was lacy and soft, and Jackie checked the buttons twice to see if she’d matched them all up.
“Clayton,” she said softly and stood very still by the edge of the bed.
“All set?” His head came back in the door.
Jackie moved her hands nervously down the front of her gown. “Eddie made me a new nightgown; is it pretty?”
“Oh, yes,” Clayton breathed the words and came to her. He kissed her brow because it was one of their favorite things and held her close.
“Did you know, Clayton? Did you know it would be this special?”
“I don’t think I could have imagined this,” he admitted to her. “I love you, Jackie.”
She raised her face for his kiss and moved her hands over his back. He was finally hers. She could “see” him all she wanted.
There was no wedding trip because Clayton had to be at the schoolhouse on Monday morning, but it didn’t matter. They spent Sunday alone, talking, cooking, touching, and learning more than they had ever known before. It was the beginning of two lives joined at the heart and settled in for a lifetime of love.
Epilogue
Spring 1877
Lena poked her head out the bedroom door. “Come in, Robert; you have a son.”
The woman’s voice was so calm. How could she be this calm? It had felt like years since Eddie’s pains began. He’d been pacing the hallway for hours, and now he had a son. He walked into their bedroom as if in slow motion. Lena passed him on her way out, but he never saw her. Eddie’s eyes were closed, and lying in the crook of her arm was a bundle of blankets. He stared at the unmoving bundle until he realized Eddie’s eyes had opened and she was watching him. Robert smiled at her.
“Hi.”
“Hi, yourself,” she said with a weary smile of her own. “We have a son.”
“Lena told me. How are you?”
“Sore.”
Robert grinned. Their voices were both very hushed. “Can I see him?”
Yes, but I feel too tired to move.”
Robert’s long-fingered hand came out, and he shifted the blanket aside until a tiny, sleeping face peeked out. Eddie had been holding on very nicely, but when she saw her husband’s tears, her own fell. They sat together, Robert close to her side and holding their son, drinking in his tiny features and limbs. He was a wonder to them, and all they could do was marvel.
“I need to see my sister,” Eddie suddenly said. “I need Jackie.”
“Okay.”
Lena knocked at that moment, and Robert called for her to come in.
“Jackie and Clayton are downstairs. I did not tell them, but she said she needed to see you.”
“Send her up,” Robert said with a smile and opened the door wide. He took a seat across the room, between the two largest windows, and told himself not to make a sound.
“Eddie?” Jackie’s voice finally called from the upstairs hall.”
“In the bedroom, Jackie.”
“Hi,” she spoke when she came in the room. “I hope this isn’t a bad time, but I need to show you something.”
“Come on in.”
On those words, Jackie knew something was different. She stopped a few feet inside the door, a scrap of lace hanging from her hand.
“Are you lying down, Eddie?”
“Yes.”
Jackie stood frozen, then her hand flew to her throat. “The baby,” she gasped. “The baby’s coming. Are you in pain? We’ll get Robert. Clayton!—I’ve got to get Clayton!” Her hands were already reaching to find the door.
“Jackie.” Eddie’s voice checked her sister’s flight. “He’s here. I had a baby boy just a few minutes ago.”
“Eddie; oh, Eddie.” Jackie’s hands were outstretched as she tried to find the bed. She started when Robert touched her, but forgot all about it when she sat by Eddie and a tiny bundle was placed in her arms.
“Oh, my darling,” she spoke as she cuddled the infant under her chin for just a moment. “Oh, my little darling, you’re here. You’re finally here.”
With slow movement and a gentle touch, Jackie laid the baby carefully in her lap. Robert and Eddie looked on as Jackie “saw” her nephew for the first time. Clayton came in the door while she was still unwrapping him, and Robert motioned him in. He grinned at the new mother and father before going to his wife’s side and looking on in the same sort of wonder.
Jackie started with his head, her hands and fingers gently caressing the soft, downy hair and scalp. With featherlight movements she touched his facial features, the small nose and brows. Her hands moved down his arms to his tiny fingers and eventually down his legs to his toes. He didn’t like his toes touched. A small fuss ensued, and then a louder cry came forth.
“It’s all right,” she coaxed him. “Aunt Jackie has you.” With expert movements she rewrapped him and put him to her shoulder, kissing his silky temple. She bounced him gently and rubbed his back. Eddie and Robert exchanged a look that clearly said, She was worried about having her own, but she’s so relaxed and capable.
Clayton finally spoke. “He’s so tiny. I can’t believe how small he is.”
“Here, Clay,” his wife offered, having known he’d arrived by the smell of his shaving soap. “Would y
ou like to hold him?”
“I don’t think so,” he said, making everyone laugh.
Eddie was looking a bit uncomfortable, and Robert came forward to help her shift around in bed. Jackie stood, and with the baby still tucked close, she found the chair and sat down. Clayton came close once again, this time to stare at him over her shoulder.
“What did you name him?” Clayton asked.
“We haven’t really had time to do that,” Robert told him goodnaturedly.
Clayton’s brows rose. He bent over his wife and gently took the baby from her arms. “I think,” he said with quiet conviction, “that we’ll see how Lena’s doing and check back with you in a little while.”
Robert took the baby, thanking him with his eyes, and Jackie stood to leave with her husband. They were halfway down the stairs when she said, “I didn’t even say congratulations.”
“That’s all right. I think they could tell you were delighted.”
“He’s perfect, isn’t he, Clay?”
“Yes. So small and perfect.”
“I want a baby, Clay.”
“I know you do. It’ll happen.” He suddenly kissed her. “We’ll just keep trying.”
Jackie smiled with pleasure.
“I can’t believe we were here to see him when he was so tiny and new,” Clayton said as they moved past the living room.
“Isn’t it fun? I just wanted to ask Eddie about that lace pattern.”
Jackie was quiet for a few steps. “God has been doing that often these days.”
“What’s that?”
“Giving me little surprises and blessings. Your folks’ visit was so special, and Milly’s fiancé, Trevor, is wonderful.”
“I wouldn’t be too surprised if your parents come on the scene pretty soon. A first grandchild is a big draw.”
“Wouldn’t that be fun? I hope they come.”
Husband and wife had wandered onto the porch and now took a seat on the stone bench. The evenings were still cool, and they snuggled together, Clayton’s arm around his beloved.
