Cruz : A Dark MC Romance (A Dark and Dirty Sinners’ MC Book 5)

by Serena Akeroyd

  I wanted no man to look at me the way David did. In my opinion, it wasn’t right, to be the air someone breathed, to be the reason they got up on a morning. And definitely not with someone like me. Not when I was who I was.

  Because the truth hurt, I rasped, “You deserve someone better than me, David.”

  My candor had his mouth gaping. “There is no one better than you.”

  Tilting my head to the side, I murmured, “You know what my family has been through, and how it changed me.”

  His face turned puce with rage. “I’m just glad he only hurt Carly and didn’t touch you.”

  My eyes flared wide at his remark, a remark that felt like a slap to the face.

  “Carly’s suffering was okay then, was it?” I snapped, straightening up, my hands furling into fists.

  “N-No, I didn’t mean that!” he denied, retreating once more. “I just meant I-I’d kill your uncle if I could.”

  So many men willing to kill Kevin, it was just a shame no one had been around when it was happening.

  What use was all this after the fact?

  They were just words.

  Not a promise.

  If Nyx knew what I’d gone through, he’d want to kill Kevin all over again, and would probably go on the rampage a thousand times more until his soul bled black.

  David uttered those words like they could help me, like they meant something. When they meant nothing. They were just letters that were scrambled together to form his emotional reaction to something I’d gone through.

  It was the same with Nyx. Of course, if I told him that, he’d shout me down. Tell me that everything he did, he did for Carly, our elder sister. But that was bullshit. She was dead. A bag of bones that had rotted away a long time ago… Me, I was alive. Living. Breathing. Somehow getting through what that bastard had done to me. Maybe not always achieving it, but I considered it a win that I hadn’t tried to hurt myself for a very long time.

  I couldn’t say how grateful I was that Cruz, though he knew the full story, had never said anything like that to me, had never made me feel lesser for what I’d gone through.

  “The threat has long since gone, but the stain inside me hasn’t, David.”

  His brow puckered. “You’re not stained. C-Carly—”

  “I am.” I shot him a dead-eyed stare. “I’m dirty.”

  His eyes flared wide again, like he registered what I was saying. Like he understood. But rather than empathize, rather than tell me again that he’d kill Kevin if he could, and rather than wish me all the happiness in the world, instead he snarled, “And being with that filthy biker—?” His head whipped from side to side in confusion. “I don’t get it. Why him?”

  “That you even know about me and Cruz tells me you’ve been looking at the security footage or doing something I told you not to do again, David.” My mouth tightened. “If I find a camera in my apartment that will be the end of things. Of everything, do you hear me? I’ve been violated one too many times, but I trusted you. Don’t make me regret that trust,” I rasped, watching as his eyes shuttered.

  “I’ve seen him leaving here at all hours of the night,” was all he said.

  A likely fucking story.

  “What I do with him is my business,” I spat.

  “I’m trying to keep you safe.”

  “I am safe with him, David,” I snarled. “I sleep when he’s around.”

  His reaction to my words was like I’d hit him with a saucepan. His eyes rounded as he jerked back, but even as dismay laced his expression, there was a desperation too.

  “No,” he whispered.

  But I nodded. “Yes, David. Yes.”

  “You can’t feel safe with him. He’s a liar,” he snapped, before he started digging through his pockets. When he produced his cell phone, he swiped it open then tossed it at me.

  As I stared at the photos on the screen, I shook my head as I moved through the gallery. “What is it? What am I looking at?”

  “That woman is a Fed.”

  “You know this how?” I scoffed, scowling at him over his phone.

  “Because I made it my business to know.” He tightened his mouth. “She’s a Fed and he went to her. Sneaked off the other day.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “When you just had to have the day off?”

  He shrugged. “I had things to do.”

  Things like stalking my—

  Shit.

  My, what?

  I hated that I needed a frickin’ label when I loathed goddamn labels.

  Boyfriend? Lover?

  Cruz felt like more, but the words that described ‘more’ weren’t ones I could handle right now.

  As I dealt with the repercussions of what he was saying, I murmured, “If you knew that Cruz had plans that day, and you had to because you left before he even turned up, and you also know about Cruz coming here at all hours, I’m going to assume that you haven’t just kept an eye on me but somehow, you’ve managed to get into the clubhouse.” When his glance flittered off mine, I knew I was right. Knew he’d learned about Cruz a long time ago. Maybe he’d known from the very beginning? “You stupid prick, David,” I snapped. “What the fuck do you think you’re playing at?

  “Do you think the Sinners are just joking around at being an MC? Christ, they’re one-percenters! They don’t just wear cuts because it’s a fashion statement.” Swiping my hand over my hair, I didn’t stop until I could rub the back of my neck where tension was gathering like I’d been plunked dead in the center of the eye of a hurricane.

  I had to believe that Maverick kept the clubhouse swept clean of tracking equipment, but somehow, David had gotten inside—

  As I stared at him, questions hitting me square in the face, I took in the man who’d committed a grievous sin against my family, who had picked up on only God knew what as he spied on them as a means of spying on me, and I reasoned that, even if he wasn’t my type of guy, he was handsome.

  Maybe a little skinny, a little too nerdy, but someone in the clubhouse had helped him, and the only person I could think of, the only people, were one of the clubwhores.

  Not only would David be gentle where the bikers weren’t, but I knew there was a lot of resentment floating around among the sweetbutts. Not only because a lot of the council were slowly picking up Old Ladies like they were souvenirs on a trip to Greece, but because those councilors weren’t cheating on said Old Ladies. Throw in the fact that Giulia was making their lives hell by forcing them to clean, it was all a disaster just in the early stages of brewing.

  Processing that wasn’t easy. I’d thought David was harmless, but I should have known he’d get jealous of Cruz. It was stupid, even worse, shortsighted of me, not to realize that and act accordingly, yet neither was it exactly my fucking fault. I didn’t ask David to be obsessed with me. I didn’t want this level of attention aimed my way.

  This was on him.

  All of this was.

  And the trouble was, what he knew, he could leak.

  Would leak if I wasn’t careful.

  He’d hurt them to get to Cruz, to get to me, which made him dangerous.

  I’d known that for a while, but I’d thought I could handle him. Now, I learned I couldn’t.

  He was out of control, and he’d taken things up a notch.

  In the periphery of my line of sight, I registered that the streets outside were empty. It was past ten and the bars were at the other end, not near my storefront because I’d wanted to be away from the action. Close enough for the drunks to trickle in, but far away enough to avoid bar brawls.

  The roads themselves were quiet too, and the only light in the vicinity burned from my building.

  There’d be cameras somewhere. I knew Big Brother was always watching, but… Would it look suspicious if I shut the blinds?

  Before I could say a word to mess things up, I strode away from the desk, away from David. He growled under his breath, demanding, “We’re not done, Indy.”

  Oh, we
were more than fucking done.

  I ignored him, well aware that would agitate him further, and stalked deeper into my studio where there was no line of sight to the street.

  With barely a few seconds to spare, I headed for my work station that was clean from my earlier appointment and ready for the one I’d canceled so I could be with Cruz, and ducked down to grab a pair of scissors from one of the drawers in the medical cabinet where I stored some basic First Aid.

  Palming the handle, I twisted around when David snarled again, “We’re not done, Indy,” and compounded his foolishness with the cocking of a gun.

  It’d have sounded overly loud in the charged atmosphere if not for the rushing in my head, the burning in my ears of my pulse as it surged like a geyser, deafening me to everything, including his shriek as I twisted around and threw the scissors at him.

  My aim was true.

  Exactly like Nyx had taught me years ago, and unfortunately for me, it wasn’t the first time I’d had to protect myself this way.

  Somehow, knowing I was cursed, I knew this wouldn’t be the last time either.

  The handle turned over in a straight line, folding over and over itself as the blade writhed around during its catapult across the way. The gun fired, but his inexperience with the weapon had the bullet shooting wide as he sank to his knees, the scissors sticking out of this throat.

  I gulped, watching the blood bubble around the wound, before it started to trail out of his mouth, down the corners. The light in his eyes began to fade away as he started to sputter. He toppled forward, and I shoved my fist to my lips as he gurgled when the move had his chin tipping down, ramming the thin blades in further.

  Expecting to see the tips of the scissors through his nape, I studied him a little too hard for comfort. Then, a shaky breath escaped me, because though I’d done many things in my life that I was ashamed of, I’d never stooped to murder. Self-defense, sure. Yet, here I was, killing for the Sinners.

  Fuck.

  Although, he’d waved a gun at me… Did that make this self-defense too? Even if, when I’d drawn him in here, I’d known exactly what I was going to do—eradicate a threat against the people I loved?

  As I stared at David, at his stillness, where the only movement from him came from the blood pooling around him, trickling out into an ever-growing puddle, I wasn’t sure what I was feeling predominantly.

  Was it fear?

  Terror?

  Rage?

  Uncertainty?

  I knew I should feel ashamed, but mostly, it was just relief. God, how horrible did that make me sound? I was relieved someone had died, and at my fucking hands.

  Gulping, I flopped down against my stool, which skittered backward because I gave it no purchase. As I jolted into the client chair, the cabinet loaded with tools rattled, and I jumped like another bullet had gone wide.

  My mouth trembled as reaction set in, but still, I felt no shame. No guilt.

  David had always been a concern. Maybe not an active one, and he sure as shit wasn’t the reason why I was losing sleep, but I’d known he was delicate. That he had to be handled.

  That he was gone was a weight off me, a burden that disintegrated into dust that I no longer had to carry on my shoulders.

  But my biggest concern was what he’d done.

  What he’d learned and who the fuck he’d told.

  And who he’d used to infiltrate the clubhouse.

  Christ.

  I sucked in a breath, unsure of what to do. Who to call.

  Did I want the Sinners involved in this? Did I just call the cops and plead innocence, tell them it was self-defense?

  My instinct was to call Cruz, but what David had said blew that all into question.

  Cruz had gone to a Fed.

  A fucking Fed.

  And David had learned that because he had to have been boning a clubwhore. Someone on the inside who’d given him that information.

  All the while my brain raced through options, time ticked on, as it had a habit of doing, until it eventually ran out because the front door opened and I heard boot steps.

  Ever since Kevin, I’d learned to listen to people’s steps, and to use them as a means of identifying whether or not someone was friend or foe.

  That, and the fact I knew it had been long enough for him to find his way here, was proof enough that Cruz had just walked through my door.

  Was he a traitor?

  And if he was, what did I do with that information?

  He’d betrayed the Sinners. I already had one brother in prison. I couldn’t deal with Nyx being in there too, and never mind the council, most of whom I’d grown up with. Steel and Stone had just found each other, Link was happy with Lily for the first time in forever, then there was Sin and Tiffany, and Nyx and Giulia—all of them lost souls that had found their other halves in each other.

  My mind whirred at that, because I couldn’t let them be torn apart. I just… fuck, I just couldn’t.

  Scrambling off the stool, I raced over to David’s side. Grabbing his gun, I held it in my shaking hands as I started to back away from the door that led to the reception area.

  “Indy? Are you down here? You shouldn’t have left the place unlocked,” Cruz called out, his grumble clear.

  If this was any other night, he’d have spanked me for it. I could hear it in his voice. There was anticipation as well as annoyance. Need, too.

  For me.

  And I wanted that. I wanted him so much.

  God, how had this situation derailed so terribly? How had things exploded in my face when I’d only just been saying to Stone that I wasn’t involved in the MC? She’d called me out, said that was a steaming pile of BS, but this was a thousand times worse than anything she could have hurled at me.

  “In here,” I hollered, and I cringed because, even to my own ears, I sounded shaken.

  Cruz was getting more and more used to reading me, to sensing my non-verbal cues so when I gave him verbal ones, I knew he wouldn’t fail to recognize that something was wrong.

  The door kicked inward, but as it did, it slammed into David’s body.

  “What the fuck?” Cruz muttered, before he shoved harder, forcing the corpse decorating my floor like it was some kind of messed up art exhibition to slide across the tiles.

  The blood dispersed, running into the cracks of the tiles, and I bit my lip, trying to use the pain as a means of keeping myself grounded, of not letting panic overwhelm me.

  Now he was here, the timeline had shifted, and I had to act.

  The question was, it had been easy to take David out of the picture.

  As for Cruz, even if he was a traitor, it might not simply be difficult to take out the rat, it might very well be impossible.

  Ten

  Cruz

  I knew something was wrong the second she called out, but when I saw the dead body on the floor, I’d admit, I hadn’t expected that.

  My interest caught, I kept my focus on the corpse, trying to figure out who it was. Definitely a guy, from his clothes and stature, but with his face kissing the floor, I couldn’t make out the man’s identity. Then, I looked at her, and found myself staring down the barrel of a gun.

  A shaking gun at that.

  Attributing that to nerves, I murmured, “Indy, it’s okay. You took out the threat. Well done.” I had to assume that whoever this fucker was, he’d tried to attack her, because Indy wasn’t violent. She was a brat, sure, and had more attitude than frickin’ hair, but she wasn’t a danger to other people. And I’d know, because I lived with a shit ton of guys who were dangerous to the general pop.

  At my words, however, she didn’t respond. The gun stayed pointed at me, quivering as it wavered in her grip.

  “Indy,” I intoned, trying to imbue her name with a bark she’d be used to hearing by now, “put the gun down.”

  Only, she shook her head. Not just once, but twice, three times even. “N-No. Who the hell are you?”

  Surprised, I blin
ked at her. “What do you mean? I’m Cruz.” Jesus, was she heading into some kind of fugue state? She was more fragile than people knew, but I’d never have thought she’d crumble—

  “Liar,” she spat, and though her vitriol was out of place, I didn’t let it stop me from dropping down so that I could turn the body over.

  When I did, she let out a soft cry, and seeing David, her assistant, as well as the scissors that were burrowed in his throat, I knew that, whatever he’d taught her, Nyx had made sure Indy knew how to handle herself.

  I’d figured that, to be honest, but had just never thought I’d be seeing it firsthand.

  “I’m not a liar,” I told her calmly. “I’m Cruz. You know this.”

  She stopped bracing the hand that held the gun and blindly sought something out on her worktop. I caught a glimpse of the phone, but the next second, it was flying through the air at me. Catching it, I peered at the screen, then sighed when I recognized where I was.

  And with whom.

  A couple of swipes into the gallery and I saw that I’d not only picked up a tail but the fucker had caught me with my mom.

  Shit.

  No wonder she was quaking like a fucking leaf.

  “I can explain,” I told her calmly, even as I was deleting the images on the phone. It wasn’t Indy’s iPhone, but a Samsung, so I had to reason that it belonged to David. “But first you need to tell me what the hell happened here? Did he try to hurt you?”

  “He’s been spying on me. Spying on us, and…” She sucked down a breath. “The MC.”

  Tension hit me. “No way. That’s not possible.”

  “Isn’t it?” she rasped, but she jerked the gun at the cell in my hands. “How do you think he knew to catch you there, huh?”

  “David took the photos?” I asked, because though I’d assumed it, confirmation would come in handy. I thought back to that black SUV that’d been hovering in my mom’s street—had that been David?

  “Which part of ‘he’s been spying on me,’ didn’t you understand?”

  “I’m not you.”

  “No, but you’ve been fucking me. That means the same thing to David.” She pressed her hand to her mouth, took a shaky breath, then corrected, “Meant the same thing.”