Cruz : A Dark MC Romance (A Dark and Dirty Sinners’ MC Book 5)

by Serena Akeroyd

  Nyx

  My blood lust was high.

  What with helping Cruz dissemble a corpse in my sister’s workstation, then watch as he shoved it into a vat of goo where another corpse was already being broken down into gunk, the monster in my soul was beyond ready to party.

  I wasn’t made to be the VP.

  It wasn’t a role that was natural to me. Leadership wasn’t something I could ever be comfortable with, but I’d only just killed a sick fuck and usually, with Giulia riding me harder than the monster in my soul, things stayed calm for a mite longer than this.

  But knowing there was a pedophile working in the town neighboring mine?

  Knowing that he’d targeted my brother’s kid?

  I was more than jonesing for this kill.

  It was only by chance that I overheard. Cruz and I had just finished our final clean-up of her shop, when she’d gone storming out before storming back in again.

  When I’d tried to go after her, Cruz had held me back. I didn’t appreciate that, and I’d showed him my lack of appreciation with a punch to the gut, but he’d still stopped me from going after her. Just in time too. He’d shoved me back into the studio when the door had slammed open yet again, but she was no longer alone.

  I didn’t know Cyan that well. It wasn’t like I was interested in kids, even my brother’s, but she’d been hanging around the place with Katina, the two of them getting into all kinds of shit on the compound, so I’d recognized her voice.

  I’d also recognized what she was saying, what Indy was drawing out of her with girl talk… Cyan was being groomed.

  Right under my fucking nose.

  A hand slapped me on the shoulder, jerking me from my thoughts. I flinched, not expecting it, which told me how deep inside my head I was.

  Twisting to look at Cruz, I rumbled, "Best not to touch me when I'm in this mood."

  He shrugged. "The only person who's under fire right now is that sick fuck." His mouth tightened. "I want in."

  My brows rose. "Huh?"

  "You heard me. I want in. When you catch him, I want to be there."

  My lips snagged up in a snarl. "You think you can handle—"

  "Bro, I melt corpses down for the club. I think I can handle the shit that goes down beforehand." I knew he thought he believed that, but I eyed him skeptically. "You ever killed someone before?"

  He snorted. "Think I'm little orphan, Annie? Yeah, Nyx, I've killed someone before."

  "Who?" I jeered, watching his scowl make a swift appearance. “And I’m not talking a long-distance kill either.”

  “Because that takes away from the act?” he snapped, glowering at me. The glower, however, made me let up. Not because I was frightened of the fucker, but because I got it.

  I saw it.

  Death changed a person, and if you killed enough people, it left a stain on your soul. The eyes were the windows to that, after all, so, deep within that glower, a frown that was burrowed into his eyes, I saw the truth.

  "You never told Rex," I remarked.

  "Some shit you don't share."

  I shrugged. "You'd probably be doing more than pouring tequila if he knew."

  "Doubt it. Not with my mom around."

  "True." I winced. "Think you've proven yourself by now though."

  "It's okay. I never asked to be on the council, and I'm not asking for anything more than what I'm already doing. I like keeping my hands dirty, and you guys give me the opportunity."

  "Is it true what Maverick says?"

  "What does he say?" was Cruz's wary retort.

  "That you used to be a scientist? Wore a white lab coat and everything?"

  His smile was twisted. "Yeah. I even had a pocket protector and a little lanyard just to tie it all up in a neat bow."

  My brows rose at that. "Legit?"

  "Legit." He just hitched a shoulder. "Not like it's something to brag about."

  "In a place where half of us didn't bother to get our high school diplomas, I'd say that I respectfully disagree."

  "Never known you to be respectful, Nyx, so don't feel the need to start now."

  His insolence pricked my temper, but he'd done Indy a solid. My baby sister knew what it was to kill someone now, but this man, this brother of mine, had helped make things right. Had covered it up.

  That was the joy of the law.

  No body.

  No crime.

  Was there anything more beautiful than that?

  I leaned my arm against the door, peering through it as Indy and Cyan sat together, their shoulders hunched as they talked about things I didn't really understand, or want to.

  After Carly, Mom had done her best. She'd taught Caleb and Indy how to protect themselves, what to watch out for. But it wasn't like Stranger Danger was a thing here when your fucking uncle was the viper in the nest.

  Just thinking about Kevin made my blood boil, and normally, I wouldn't let it. I'd force myself to calm down because if I killed too often, then shit would come raining down on me.

  Before Giulia, I'd always thought I'd either end up dead before forty because no way was I going to let the cops take me in willingly. I'd imagined a blaze of glory with the boys in blue shooting my ass before I ever got to jail. Or, if luck wasn't on my side, then I'd end up in an orange jumpsuit and I'd die on the inside.

  I had no intention of heading toward either future. Not now. Giulia needed me. More than she knew. And I was very okay with that. I needed her to need me. It kept my head on straight. Stopped me from losing my shit on the regular.

  Like now.

  I had the wherewithal to reason that I couldn't piss in my own backyard, which was where this fuck, who thought he could groom a Sinner's kid without retribution, was.

  Well, he'd learn otherwise soon enough.

  I reached for my cell and flipped through for Maverick's number, before I hit connect, Cruz murmured, "She's already called Keira."

  "She isn't who I'm ringing." When the call connected, I murmured, "Mav, I need you to do a search for me."

  "Sure. Who?"

  "No surname, not yet—"

  "Jesus, I swear you think I can find a needle in a farm of needles."

  "Stop bitching, you know you love a challenge."

  Mav grunted. "Go on, give me details."

  “Martin's a volunteer at Cyan's gymnastics' class."

  He hesitated. "Huh?"

  “Cyan—Storm's kid."

  “I know that, dumb fuck, but what the hell am I—" He broke off, then a hiss escaped him. "No."

  "Not yet," I soothed, but there was no soothing either of us.

  "Storm needs to know."

  I blew out a breath because Mav was right, but this couldn't happen here. It was bringing too much shit to our door.

  There were already whispers about the guy who killed kid fuckers, who made them pay for their sins. They roamed around the States because I usually did my hits when I was on a run, but if I pulled a stunt here, it could lead things directly to our front door. We'd already had an issue back in Coshocton, at our sister chapter where Storm was the new Prez, because Giulia had inadvertently blown up the warehouse where we'd been torturing the last guy on our shit list.

  The police were dumb fucks, but they weren't that goddamn dumb.

  "Let's just find shit out first. I need confirmation, you know that."

  Maverick grunted. "I'm on it."

  "Whatever you do, don't tell Lodestar. This kill is mine. And if not mine, then it's Storm's, you hear me?"

  "Loud and clear. You have any other information?"

  "No. I don't want to ask Cyan, either."

  "Understood. I'll figure shit out."

  He cut the call, and I shoved my cell back into my jeans' pocket, wondering at my next move.

  With Maverick on the case, working to find evidence that Martin deserved my wrath and wasn't just an overzealous parent—it hadn't happened once in all the time I'd been doing this, but fuck, you never knew and I wasn't about to kill
someone who didn't deserve my attention—I had some choices to make.

  First things first, Storm needed to get his ass back home so he could make things right with his woman and his kid.

  Once the threat was out of the picture, that was the priority.

  My parents had been torn apart by what had happened to Carly. My mom blaming my dad for not figuring out that his brother was a pedo, dad unable to cope with not only Carly's suicide, but the fact that Kevin was who he was.

  Dad, while never overly demonstrative, had been torn to shreds by the fate that had befallen our family, and had drunk himself to death long before his time.

  By that point, it'd been a relief for him to pass over. Not only was he a mean fuck, Carly needed someone to protect her in the afterlife, and that was all Dad had wanted.

  To be reunited with his baby girl.

  I scraped a hand over my jaw as an innate refusal hit me. Whether Storm and Keira liked it or not, the Sinners, as a fucking whole, were going to get them back together again.

  I didn't give a fuck if it took a vat of Gorilla Glue or if we had to chain their asses together for a week.

  They were going to be a family again. Because Cyan needed that. She deserved that. And I protected kids in more ways than just seeking out predators who sniffed around them.

  That was the promise I'd made to Carly a long time ago, and it was one I'd never break.

  Ever.

  Twelve

  Indy

  Keira's panic, her frantic terror, all of it resonated with me on another level.

  This was love.

  This was what it looked like.

  I was sure my parents had looked at me like this too, at one point. Back in the day, we'd been pretty close before our worlds had come crashing down around us, and everything had gone to shit.

  What had been a pretty tight home life, at least, for a family in an MC, had suddenly begun crumbling down around our ears.

  Trouble was, it hadn't been a safe space for me to reveal anything that I'd gone through. With Mom and Dad ricocheting through their lives like they were a pair of cannon balls that had gone wide, arguing and hating on each other, casting blame left and right, I'd just never been able to tell them what I'd gone through.

  It was the first time that I realized how special Cruz was.

  How much I trusted him to keep me safe, how much I believed in the protective circle he had around me.

  We'd made no vows to each other, had basically agreed that we'd start dating out in the open, for all the world to see, which wasn't exactly the equivalent of a marriage proposal, was it? Not that I wanted that, but still, there was no commitment between us.

  But trust and commitment were not the same thing.

  I trusted my body with him, when I'd never trusted anyone with it before.

  And that had let my mind unlock, had let me find my way to opening up to someone for the first time in my life.

  I knew when he slipped behind me, when his arms moved around my stomach as I stood, watching Keira and Cyan talking in the front seat of her car.

  They hadn't moved since they'd left, and I wasn't sure why she hadn't taken advantage of my offer to stay in the parlor, especially when I'd closed up for the day, my mind definitely not ready to handle the brush with the past as it morphed into the present, but watching them, seeing her talk, trying to get through to Cyan, it made me realize how much my mom had let me down.

  "She never asked me if Kevin touched me," I said softly.

  "Your mom?"

  I nodded. "Never."

  He hesitated. "Because she didn't want to know?"

  "I think so. Or maybe because she was just so devastated that she couldn't handle knowing he'd touched me too."

  "Which do you think?"

  "A mixture of both. Things changed after Carly died."

  "In what way?" One hand moved from my waist to run up and down my arm. The touch made the tiny hairs there prickle in response, and I registered yet again how my body seemed to sense this was Cruz.

  Anyone else who dared touch me right now, even Nyx, maybe even Stone, I'd probably have started shrieking.

  As it was, Cruz grounded me.

  And I didn't think he even knew it.

  "The news only came out about Kevin after Nyx killed him."

  “You know about that?" he asked, his surprise clear.

  I snorted. "Yeah, I know about that."

  "How? I thought it was a club secret."

  "I was there that day."

  He tensed. "No way."

  I hummed. "Dad and Kevin were going out hunting. One of Nyx's chores was to clean the guns." I shrugged. "I happened to watch him doing something to Kevin's."

  "He messed with the barrel of his rifle, didn't he?"

  My smile was twisted. "Yep. That's why you should always clean your own guns," I chuckled, aware I sounded bloodthirsty and uncaring of that fact.

  If anything, I'd have given my left ovary to have been the one with the balls to stuff something down that goddamn barrel, but instead, I'd just watched, a little wide-eyed and in awe as Nyx did something no teenager should even be thinking of doing.

  It was then, as my family crumbled around me, as my parents who loved us, started doing stupid shit that robbed them from us, essentially abandoning us, I realized Nyx never would.

  He'd always be there for me. For Caleb and me.

  Which was why he pissed me off when he didn't visit Caleb in prison.

  Because he'd been there, a fucking thorn in our side throughout the majority of our childhood, beating up bullies, getting in teachers' faces, generally hovering until we were old enough to live our lives.

  It was only now, that I saw how much he'd pulled back when we'd become old enough, that I realized how much I missed him.

  Would Giulia bring him back to us? It felt like she was.

  He'd been on the brink a long time. His absence not just physical, but mental and emotional.

  Nyx was changing.

  I knew Giulia was the reason for it.

  A kiss was pressed to my shoulder, a soft one, then a little swipe of his tongue along the tendon that joined it to my throat which he nipped had me jolting to attention.

  "You didn't trust me."

  The flat statement was in sharp contrast to the gentleness with which he held me.

  "For less than fifteen minutes," I argued, "and hey, I just killed someone. I think I'm allowed a timeout."

  He snorted. "You're aware that isn't how we work, aren't you?"

  I winced, even as, deep down inside of me, some part craved what he was telling me.

  Why?

  I'd never really know, not unless I went to a shrink, and that wasn't about to happen. I'd put myself through a couple hundred hours with a psychologist, but had come out of it feeling worse rather than better.

  Self-medicating with fucking around was a lot cheaper and had made me feel something, even if what I’d felt was all bad. Messing with other guys to try to make my body act normally, punishing it because it wouldn’t behave like everyone else’s, was in the past, at least.

  I knew full well that staying true to Cruz was another act of self-medication. I was too aware of my nature to fail to recognize that.

  So, because he was right, I just sighed. "I'm sorry."

  And I meant it.

  "He showed you some things that would make anyone question," he reasoned, which countered what he'd just said because he gave me an excuse.

  "The second you wanted to show Nyx, I knew everything was okay."

  He hummed. "We need to work on making sure that you trust me, and not your brother's word. I get that he's always been your guardian though. The one you run to whenever shit hits the fan, but that's going to change."

  The tension inside me hit fever pitch. "You can't replace him, not when you don't intend to be in my life for a long time."

  "Who says I don't intend that?"

  I froze, unable to believe he'd said that. "The
other night, you just wanted us to come out to the club. You said I had to earn my Old Lady patch…”

  "That was because I hadn't seen you kill a man with a pair of scissors yet."

  I heard the amusement in his sinister tone. "This isn't funny."

  "I never said it was. I'm just amused at your weapon of choice."

  "It wasn't like I had an arsenal waiting out in the backroom for me."

  "No," he concurred. "Still, it was nice to see you're great with improvisation.

  "But, you have to bear in mind. Until now, you didn't know about my mother, and while she means nothing to me, I knew it was a chasm I'd never be able to cross without reason. The council knows about her, and that's about it. That's how they sanctioned my patching-in in the first place."

  "I'm surprised they didn't shoot you between the eyes."

  "I think they were hoping I'd be able to get information out of her to feed them, but in the end, I had other talents they preferred to take advantage of."

  "Like getting rid of bodies?"

  He hummed. "I'm not saying either of us is ready for branding, Indy, but I'm just saying, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, and there's a shape blocking it that looks like you."

  Emotion choked me, making it hard to swallow, making it difficult to breathe for a handful of seconds until, like always, I fell back on snark. "That your way of saying I have a fat ass?" I wheezed.

  When he tapped my thigh, with enough force to jerk me to the side, I bit my lip.

  "That your way of trying to earn a worse punishment? Just take the declaration in the spirit it was given, hmm?" He pressed a kiss to my throat once more, only this time it was an open one. As he sucked down on the sensitive skin, the tissues that were raked to life had me shuddering in his hold and turning me into a pile of mush. Any other man’s kiss there would have me shrieking too, but this felt so good. A whisper of calm before the scream of a storm that was brewing. "Now, are you ready for your punishment?"

  My fluttering eyelashes froze, but I released a breath. "Y-Yes."

  This felt different somehow. I was used to the stern taskmaster, the man who could order me to kneel on my welcome mat and I'd obey. But his voice was a little... Crap, the only way I could think to phrase it was odd.