Fairfax

by Jared Ravens

  He was still acclimating himself to his surroundings when the door opened and she entered. He had to blink several times to bring her into focus. She walked across the room alone, casually. He was certain she was coming for someone else but she made directly fro him. Over her plain clothing she work a brown smock, her face was clear and handsome but unimpressive. Her light hair was pulled up in a bun. It was as if she desired to blend in. But she still glowed as she stood over him.

  "Everything all right?" she asked.

  "Martel?" Felix asked. He wasn't sure he would be able to speak it until the worlds came out.

  "You shouldn't sleep any more," she said. "You've slept too much."

  She gripped the wrapping on the right side and massaged it carefully. There was intense pain but only for a moment.

  "It will be all right" she said. "Just burns." He glanced at his shoulder as if questioning it and she replied: "Things change when we fix them. Don't go to sleep.”

  Her hands left him and she turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Some time passed and he followed her words, fearful of closing his eyes. When it opened again she came with two people, a man and a woman. That walked towards him quickly, ahead of Martel. The woman held him first, gripping him so tightly that he had to tell her to loosen her hold. She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face.

  They both sat next to him in chairs, the man and the woman, both laying their hands on him as if he might fall off the bed without their support. The man looked behind him where Martel was standing as if to tell her she could leave. She stayed, her hands behind her back.

  "Do you know who I am?" The woman asked asked.

  "Yes..." he lied.

  "Yes..." he lied.

  "He doesn't know much right now," Martel said. "He was calling me 'mother' earlier.

  The woman patted his hand and continued to cry. He recalled her.

  “Carmen?” Felix said.

  The woman exclaimed with joy, and was soon unleashing a furious torrent of apologies for things that Felix couldn’t recall. She was crying into the back of his hand, asking him for forgiveness. He was blank, unable to recall a single event this woman had done to require his mercy.

  “Mother,” he said. “Its just a wound.”

  “Your shoulder,” she said. “What did they do to it?”

  "When the body heals it changes," Martel said. "I can change it for the better."

  Taniel tilted his head to look back at Martel. "You changed him."

  "To see if he was receptive to it. It took. It changed, it can change back."

  "Wait," Carmen said. "You changed him just to see what would happen?”

  Carmen glared at Martel but she was unresponsive, her face flat and calm.

  “Yes,” she said. She turned and walked back several steps as if to give the family a bit of privacy. She busied herself with another patient but did not leave hearing range. Felix’s parents turned back to him their faces full of guilt and aguish. Felix was blasé. The shoulder didn’t bother him not that the balm had taken effect. His mother hid her face in his hand again.

  “I did it, I’m so sorry, I did it and I”m sorry….”

  “Sorry about what?” Felix asked. “I’m going to be fine.”

  Carmen looked up with red eyes and over at Taniel. He nodded at her. She couldn’t look at either of them as she squeezed the words from her mouth.

  “He’s not your father,” she breathed.

  She waited for a response. None came. Felix was quiet, his mind still calculating what this meant.

  “Who is?” Felix finally asked.

  “A…” she couldn’t complete the sentence so she began another. “We couldn’t have children. We tried so many times, and I was desperate. She came out of no where and told me that she could help us…”

  “Who?”

  “A girl. I don’t know her, she came to our door. Very lovely and I threw caution into the wind. She did as she said she would. She brought a pale of white liquid and…” Carmen breathed out. “I was pregnant the next day from it. Your father never knew. Never knew. And I didn’t think this day would come.”

  Felix let several moments of sobbing go by before he answered.

  “I was from a bull,” he answer. They both looked at him, stunned. “I think Orlando told me,” he said. “Just now, in my dreams.”

  His mother leaned back, her eyes closed, recovering. She spoke the words slowly.

  “She said it was a special bull, one of Ogden’s bulls. From his mother the cow. And it would make a human boy but that you would be one of hers, when you came of age.”

  “Whose?” Felix asked.

  “Vivian,” Martel answered, walking up to them again. “She’s a prankster. But you know that by now.”

  She was looking at Felix who blushed but for reasons even he didn’t know.

  “Is she the one trying to take him away?” Taniel asked.

  “He doesn’t belong to anyone,” Martel replied diplomatically. “But he is special, and it won’t be a normal life for him any more.”

  “What does that mean?” Felix asked.

  Martel thought for a moment.

  “I could tell you that you’ll always be the odd person out down here, but I couldn’t say that truthfully. Maybe you could blend and all of my family would forget about you. But I would say that’s unlikely.

  “What I would ask is how would you like to serve Holm? Don’t you think you have something to offer beyond the normal human? Don’t you think after your actions that there is something you could build on?”

  “Wait,” Felix said, closing his eyes. “What are you asking me? Am I supposed to live with Vivian?”

  “No, not at all. She’s married and lives in the woods most of the time. I wouldn’t ask you to live with her.”

  She stopped speaking as it Felix tried to sputter out the words that he wanted to say. It took some time.

  “You… The Hill…”

  Martel nodded.

  “Welcome to the family.”

  Dani

  The infirmary was a dilapidated star shaped fort on the edge of town that had been commandeered in an emergency situation to deal with the wounded soldiers. It was a long walk to get there, so McKenna opted to catch a ride in a swifty. The whirling motor drowned out her thoughts as it bumped along through the rubble and onto stone streets.

  Dani waited for her outside the wall of crumbling grey and white stone. She had been asked to give questionable advice to her friend, and while part of her believed Theo could help Felix the other part of her wanted Felix to run to the sea as fast as he was able. She had hoped that Dani could give her the backbone she needed to advise the latter.

  “Ready?” She asked as she approached him. She didn’t know him that well but she felt an urge to hug him. He was the only person she had seen in days whose judgement she felt she could trust.

  “I think so,” he replied. He looked nervous, though standing outside a heavily armed fort it was impossible not to be. He commented on the number of guards as they walked through the iron gateway. The woman at the desk inside the gate eyed them closely until they were fully out of view.

  “They’re here to listen and watch more than anything,” McKenna said, glancing at the numerous guards milling about. “Watch what you say.”

  “What do they think I’m going to say?” He asked. “Hi and goodbye?”

  There were three layers of security before they reached the large white room with red trim. The nurse had them wait at by the door while she walked to the other side of the room to wake Felix. On her beaconing they walked towards him. He was pale, with sleepy eyes and hair flayed out at every angle. She glanced at his shoulder but tried not to stare. The jagged bone jutting out next to his neck did make him appear more animal like.

  They sat next to him as he rose and took several deep breaths. When he saw who it was he smiled.

  "I think I need some privacy,” he told the nurse, and she nod
ded and then sat in a chair not far away. When they realized she wasn’t moving any further he asked her a question.

  “Where’s Martel?”

  “She’s not here for the time. Other business.”

  “You’re not busy?”

  “No,” she replied plainly.

  McKenna nodded at him, indicating it was fine.

  “You look….”

  “Rough?” He interjected.

  “No, not at all.”

  “Yeah, a lot,” Dani laughed. Felix smiled.

  “Not every day you find out you’re a monster.”

  “Its not that way,” McKenna said.

  “Well, kind of,” Felix said, his smile disappearing. He was blinked lazily, and threw back the covers to rub his leg. They could see the full extent of the burns, the blackness of his right side and the dark red areas where the balm had taken effect. The leg was shrived and black under the short pants that covered it, like a burnt stick. Felix felt his eyes and responded without looking at his friends.

  "The cream will fix it.”

  “It’ll need more than that,” Dani said.

  “Yeah, well, that’s in time.” Felix threw the covers back over it and picked up the pipe, his eyes suddenly filled with dark thoughts. As he puffed on the sugar root his eyes relaxed again.

  “I had to smoke a lot the last few days,” he explained, turning to McKenna. “It wasn’t right.”

  “No, it's not.”

  “I saw your mom here. Briefly.”

  “I was here too.”

  “Should have said hi.”

  “You were… busy.”

  “Yeah,” he said, his eyes distant. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  He threw the covers off suddenly and jumped out of bed. He yelped as his leg hit the floor and he bend down, rubbing it. McKenna and Dani stood to help him but he held his hand up, waving them away. Slowly he rose up.

  "Lets get out of here."

  The nurse stood to try and return him to bed but he held her away.

  "I'm going out," Felix said.

  "You don't have permission to leave."

  “I'm not leaving, I'm just going out."

  "You need assistance..."

  "Go away," Felix said, still limping past her. He walked past the security desks and out into a large grassy area. The garden was enclosed with stone walls that echoed the drips of water from the many fountains. The fort had fallen into disuse years before and the neighborhood had turned it into a common area. Felix glanced at the single guard between him and the outside, noting that it was now a prison. They walked the grounds to avoid his attention.

  “I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through,” McKenna said.

  “I can’t either,” Felix replied.

  “I don’t know what I can do for you.”

  “You’re doing just fine,” he said, smiling slightly.

  “What are they saying to you?” Dani asked

  “Who?” Felix replied, limping along. “The ones that say I got to go to The Hill or the ones that say I got to go right now?”

  “You don’t have to do that.” Dani said.

  “Well…” Felix shrugged.

  “You’re your own person,” McKenna said. “You don’t have to do like they say. Vivian doesn’t.”

  “Bad example,” Felix sighed.

  “Sorry.”

  “I’m not like them. I’m not a titan or anything. I’m just really… I don’t know what I am.”

  He looked at McKenna.

  “I don’t have parents like you.”

  “Its nothing to be proud of.”

  “Your grandmother is Celia. I’m going to go up there and they’re all going to look down on me. I can't sleep at night. I have to smoke just to close my eyes.”

  “Pudge,” Dani said, hiding the worry in his voice. “You don’t have to go.”

  Felix stopped, sighing and looking at the guard in front of the door. Another was roaming behind some trees, trying to listen in on their conversation.

  “What if I want to go?” He asked.

  “You don’t have to decide now,” McKenna said. “You can wait til you get out.”

  “Then let’s get out.”

  “What?”

  Felix limped towards the door in the wall. The guard straightened up as Felix approached.

  "Can I help you?" he asked.

  "I want to go out," Felix replied.

  "That has to be arranged," the man replied, in a cordial voice.

  Dani and McKenna could barely see it happen. Despite being considerably larger than Felix, the guard was thrust into the bushes with a simple push of Felix's hand against his face. Felix pushed open the door and onto the street, the guard hiding in the trees yelling at them from behind.

  “It’s already been arranged,” he said.

  Dani and McKenna glanced at each other and followed him. Felix ambled out into the busy street, looking to each side and grimacing.

  “They’re going to come for you,” Dani said.

  “You said I could do what I want,” Felix said. “So I am.”

  There was a swirl of activity behind them as bells rang and the scrambling of boots filled the air. The prison, McKenna thought, was trying to keep people out but didn’t think of how to keep them in. Felix had waved down a four wheel swifty just as a multitude fo uniforms appeared at the door. They were squeezed into the small red vehicle and away before anyone saw them. There was little breathing space and the driver shot through the streets to get rid of them as quickly as possible. As they rolled through the ruined part of the city McKenna saw Felix stare at it out he open window.

  “Remember what happened?” She asked.

  “Kind of,” he said. “It was really…”

  “I imagine it was terrifying.”

  “Yeah but…,” he shrugged. “I like it.”

  He seemed bothered by this, and he looked back out the window. McKenna gathered her thoughts as they rode along, pondering that perhaps Felix would benefit with the help of her father.

  When they had gotten within walking distance of the destination and the crowds became so overbearing that the vehicle could barely move, Felix told him that he had gone far enough and jumped out of the vehicle. The man yelled angrily his passengers and Dani handed him a handful of coins, walking away before he could find out if it was too little.

  “Maybe you’ll be all right on The Hill,” McKenna said.

  “Think so?” Felix said limply.

  They followed Felix closely as he trudged up the stairs through the other apartments. Many of the residents turned to look at him and found themselves captivated at the crippled boy in white and grey cloth creeping upwards.

  “I think it will be an experience, something we all can’t do,” McKenna said. “A lot of people would want to be in your shoes.”

  They reached his door in the narrow hallway at the top of the building. Felix closed his eyes, feeling the pain again. A moment of dizziness struck him as his hand reached the doorknob.

  “Would they…”

  They helped him through the door and to the bed where he fell down in exhaustion. Dani stared at him, arms crossed, not sure if he should stay or go. Suddenly a bell rang in the alleyway outside the building and drums began to play. Felix implored them to look at the Choholi dance.

  "What do they look like?” he asked as he covered his face with his blanket.

  "They're really good,” Dani replied.

  "Is there still a girl waiting?"

  McKenna and Dani watched the dancers in the alleyway, their timed cartwheels and flips captivating them. McKenna looked down at Felix, his eyes closed. She asked Dani for a moment alone.

  He opened his eyes as she pulled the blanket up to his chin.

  “I think you need Theo’s help,” she said quietly.

  “Do I ever,” he whispered.

  “He’s really wanting to assist you,” she said, swallowing hard.

  “Do you think he’d hel
p?”

  “Of course he would.”

  “You never really said anything nice about him.”

  “I do. He’s my father, I like him.”

  “Should I trust him?”

  She sighed. Felix opened his eyes slightly.

  “What does that mean?” He asked her

  “Everything has a price with him.”

  “It means he thinks I’m useful. A week ago he didn’t think that.”

  “This is my world, Felix. Welcome to it.”

  “What does he want?” He said, closing his eyes again.

  “To meet with you. He asked me to ask you if he could.”

  “Tell him yes.”

  She thought she heard something in the alley below. She kept waiting for guards to storm the building. He opened his eyes and grimaced a little.

  “I have a jar of the balm in my pocket,” he told her. The reached for it and put some on her hands. He pulled the blanket out of the way and she rubbed it into his leg. He relaxed as she massaged it in.

  “What are you going to tell them when they come for you?”

  “I’m going to tell them to go away.”

  “Think they’ll listen?”

  He opened his eyes again and smiled.

  “I’m the one that set Bautomet on fire, think they’re going to mess with me?”

  The Basement

  Theo met him on the street, wearing a dark green suit and smile so wide and mischievous that Felix could see the gaps near the back. He pulled a hand from his back and shook Felix’s so hard that he grimaced.

  “I thought you would have taken a swifty,” Theo commented as he led him into the a lobby. Brass and silver surfaces reflected Felix’s distorted body back to him, making him question what image was true.

  “They said to walk more,” Felix said, “to help my leg.”

  “Who said that?”

  “Martel.”

  “Oh!” Theo replied, pressing the elevator button. “Well, we can’t question her, can we.”

  The tone of his voice was so odd and overenthusiastic that Felix had to wonder if he was acting as a parody of himself. The doors opened and Felix steeped into the mirror room. He waited, steadying himself as the elevator jerked into motion and ground it way to the top.

  “Ever been in one before?” Theo asked, knowing the answer.