Handsome

by Pinder, Victoria

  She turned off her phone and then rubbed the back of her.

  I asked, “Everything okay?”

  She nodded, but then bounced on her feet. “I’m confused, but it’s fine. It’s good.”

  I brushed her shoulder and asked, “What?”

  She gazed at me and seemed so innocent. “The death certificate came in early. I told them to proceed with the cremations.”

  I absolutely wanted to follow through on my plan. If I had her heart, then maybe we’d be forever. As we neared the front door, I asked quietly, “Do you want to be there?”

  She glowed with the sunlight behind her, making her seem even more gorgeous than she already was as she said, “No. I want to be here with you and Joshua.”

  I opened the door for her and said, “You mean you want to dance.”

  Her nose wrinkled as she said, “I didn’t say that.”

  I laughed and said, “You didn’t have to use words.”

  While we went right upstairs to Joshua's room, she asked, “You can read minds?”

  I just smiled and said, “No, just yours.”

  She chuckled. “You're funny.”

  Once we were in Joshua’s room, I put him in the crib. He didn’t move at all, his eyes still closed, as I whispered, “I’m glad you didn’t meet my brothers, then.”

  “Why?” she asked as she beckoned me to follow her out.

  I took one last glance at my son and closed the door before saying, “I’m the least funny of all.”

  Her nose wrinkled again, but then she patted my arm and said, “Maybe because you’re the sweetest.”

  I needed to earn a kiss from her. I’d never before met anyone who was both sexy and sweet in the same person. And she was helping me out, so we needed to be sure. I brushed her arm and said, “Time to change. We have to be in the ballroom.”

  Her face went white. “Think he’ll sleep?”

  I shrugged. Truthfully, I had no idea how babies slept, but said, “If we hear him wake up on the monitor, we’ll come up right away.”

  She nodded and held up her hand for a high-five. “Then you’re on.”

  She marched past me, but then she swayed her hips a bit more. For the first time in my life I wasn’t sure how a woman felt about me, and I was left hoping Sarah wanted me too. She was quickly becoming the most important person in my world.

  7

  Sarah

  I had trouble imagining what dancing with Cyrus might be like.

  My experience with two people swaying wasn’t anything formal, and no fancy steps were needed. And I doubted this would be night club-style, with the short skirts I’d passed when I worked as a caterer and watched the hookup rituals.

  Clubbing had seemed more like a drunken game where people found partners for an evening and a night.

  I shimmied into the blue dress and rummaged around on the floor of the closet and unearthed the perfect pair of high heels.

  Based on what I'd seen watching dance on TV and in the movies, women needed to wear heels to get some of the moves right.

  I glanced at myself in the mirror and decided to use some of the powder and creams in the bathroom, so I would look the best I could.

  Cyrus wasn’t the beer-and-a-movie-on-TV type, which was the closest I ever had to a boyfriend, though Gage hadn’t ever made me all achy and tingly the way Cyrus did.

  I glanced out at the empty beach and sighed. The only piece of beach I’d gone to near here was always full of people, but Cyrus's family had a dock, yachts, a cave, and private beach, and we were planning to visit what sounded like an isolated island.

  Then I double-checked to make sure I had my cell so I could listen for Joshua and hurried back downstairs, determined to enjoy the moment of living this wonderful life. Soon I’d go back to hoping for invisibility in my normal world. But that wasn’t now. Today I had Cyrus, Joshua, and the perks of a life no one I knew ever experienced.

  I came down to find a courier in the foyer delivering an envelope with my name on it. I paused to open it and read the paperwork. I blinked and asked myself, “What’s this?”

  Cyrus’s voice behind me said, “Your passport confirmation receipt. A courier collected your birth certificate with the key you gave them. Now we should have it tomorrow morning so we can sail out ourselves.”

  Right. I’d forgotten about filling out the forms and handing my keys over this morning.

  I turned to see he was wearing gray pants and a white shirt. My legs felt like spaghetti for just a second, but I steeled my spine and asked, “Sail?”

  He rested his hand on my back and directed me back through the house to the grand room.

  The furniture had been pushed to the side, along with rolled-up rugs. We were overlooking the ocean, and the windows were all open to let in the sea air. This was our makeshift ballroom, and a quiver shot through me.

  He clearly had no idea how charmed I was by everything when he said, “You seemed so excited by the idea that I had maintenance take the ship out to clean it up for our trip.”

  His parents’ yacht was big enough for forty. I wasn’t sure about Cyrus or even how to help on a ship, but I had to ask, “Is it safe for Joshua if we have to, um, hoist a sail?”

  An older woman who was clearly the instructor came in and set up the music.

  Cyrus didn’t even blink as he said, “The rocking boat should help him sleep, and we have our own bedrooms, plus the staff that handles all the heavy work. And it’s just for two days, until we get to the island.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck. In a minute he’d touch me. The house with lived-in furniture and pictures of the parents with the children showed his family really lived here, like normal people who were lucky enough to have more. I stilled as soft music cycled in the air, and said, “My life before you was riding the subway to catch a bus to get here.”

  Cyrus offered his hand to walk with me to the center of the room as he said, “Well I’m happy you made the sacrifice. And speaking of, we have bicycles if you want to venture out on one again. For now, our teacher is ready for us.”

  The woman walked toward me, and my jitters made me blurt out, “I’ve never had a formal dance lesson.”

  She directed me to put my arm on his muscular shoulder, sending a rush through me while he lifted my other arm and locked his elbow higher. The teacher reached behind me to adjust my stance and hold as she said, “You let him lead. He steps forward, you step backwards.”

  He took a step forward and I stepped on his foot. My pulse zipped and I shook my head, “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine,” he said, sounding like he meant it.

  The teacher put her leg back like I should have done and demonstrated the step as she said, “Just be graceful.”

  “I’ve never been that,” I said, but I studied her.

  Cyrus squeezed my palm and said, “You’re a natural, Sarah. Don’t belittle yourself.”

  All my life I’d gotten eyerolls if I shared my thoughts and jabs at how ridiculous I was. Grace was something women had in movies, but maybe it was me who wasn’t sure what anything meant or how I fit in it. I lifted my eyebrow and said, “I truly don't have any skills.”

  He whispered and made a gesture he was about to take a step again as he said, “Sarah, be kind to yourself, the way you are with Joshua.”

  Kind, and not the one who ruins all plans when I never said a word or joined in on a scheme. My eyes widened, but I stepped backwards as he went forward. It was like he understood me, as he guided me to go one way and I followed. I let out a sigh and asked, “How do you know that about me?”

  He rested his head next to mine and said, “You’re easy to read.”

  My heart raced, but I continued to follow him as I said, “Probably true. I never learned how to run my mother's scams. She thought I was a hopeless idiot. So did everyone else in the family. Being alone taught me I didn’t have to hear about how stupid I sounded all the time. I liked the silence, but not the loneliness.”

>   Cyrus was like a truth fountain, and I couldn’t stop letting everything tumble of my mouth.

  The teacher clapped and said, “You’re a natural.”

  I could feel the blush reddening my face as the music ended and we stopped. I shook my head and said, “Now you’re both being kind.”

  Cyrus pressed against my arm and the goose bumps swarmed again while he asked, “Do you want to be my dance partner in the competition at the end of the month?”

  Partners with Cyrus made no sense. I wasn’t anyone’s partner. I squinted as I said, “I’m not that good.”

  He winked, a grin lurking around his mobile mouth as he said, “We’ll practice every day, so we don’t fall down, but it’s mostly for fun. I don’t need to win.”

  Maybe I’d get to live out a little of my fantasy of being Cyrus’s for real while we danced. And if we weren’t going because we had to win, there was no pressure. I nodded, “Fun is something I’d love to have more of in my life.”

  “Then you’re in,” he said, and nodded to the teacher.

  I did the same and smiled as I said, “I’m in.”

  The teacher and he discussed a schedule and virtual meetings online until my rumbling stomach announced it was time for lunch—in spite of my best efforts to keep it quiet.

  A moment later the teacher left, and he rested his hand on my back again as he said, “Now you must be hungry.”

  Perfect. I walked beside him, past a huge dining room that must hold a hundred people. My eyes widened at the one table. I’d only seen tables like it in historical movies and thought they stopped making them centuries ago.

  I held my breath until I burst out with, “This is all too much for me.”

  We emerged outside on the patio, where a buffet was set up that would feed a party, though there were only two of us. I swallowed, but he said, “You only eat what you want. No one’s going to be upset if you don’t touch a thing.”

  He handed me a plate, and I held it to my heart as I asked, “What happens to the rest?”

  He took a plate for himself and said, “Staff eats, and then they send leftovers to the food bank.”

  I ignored the salad, and he put some cucumbers on his plate as he asked, “Are you going to continue to gawk, or fill up before Joshua wakes up?”

  Right. I chose the lamb, because it wasn’t something I’d ever order for myself, and added mint jelly and a side of mashed potatoes. We sat a small patio off the dining room at a table that overlooked the ocean, and he put his phone out with the baby monitor running. Staff served us iced tea and water, and I pointed to the room behind him with the kind of table where countries ended wars and signed treaties and said, “That dining hall we passed earlier is huge.”

  He took a sip of his water and said, “We only use it when all the family is here. Maman insisted we have a dining hall with enough room for all future wives and grandchildren. When we pointed out she couldn’t predict that number, she insisted she was happy to go back to the store and be proven wrong. We stopped discussing the table after that.”

  “Pressure is kind of cute on you when you talk about your mom.” I put my napkin on my lap and picked up my fork to discover the meat was tender and fell apart in my mouth. I licked my lips and ate more. When I finished the meat, and took a minute to digest the perfection, I said, “I’ve never had a family like most people see on TV, and you clearly have lived.”

  He raised his eyebrow and asked, “Do you want a family?”

  Like his? Sure. His mother hugged me and asked about me. But until Cyrus brought me here, no one had hugged me in years. I lifted my chin and said, “I agreed to stay with you because I want you to bond with Joshua.”

  “My son is the most precious gift I’ve ever been given,” he said.

  We ate in more silence. I finished everything on my plate and glanced up at him.

  With his pronounced cheekbones, he truly was handsome. But it was more than good looks with him. I'd been honest with him so far.

  I took a sip of my water and decided to talk.

  Words flowed out of me, “My brother and I had different fathers. He was younger, after my mother had decided she’d pick a better man to father her next child. Some months we all lived off the child support meant for him. Then his father got married, had children with the new wife, and when my brother was sent to live with them at sixteen, he was no longer interested in raising his son.”

  I gulped the rest of my drink. I’d never talked about my life growing up. Then when my sister became a successful doctor, I realized no one would ever believe me. So I never talked, and I only shared the tip of the iceberg— until now.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

  I reached across the table and squeezed his hand while I said, “It’s not your fault. I only told you this because I want you to know why I agreed to come here. I don’t want to ever take advantage of you.”

  He beckoned, and staff put ice cream brownie sundaes in front of us.

  My pulse zipped. I’d never been on an ice cream date before… not that we were on a date.

  I picked up the clean spoon.

  He whispered and said, “You’re not the kind to take advantage, Sarah. I didn’t have to invite you in the limo that night. I did it because I want the best for Joshua and for me, and I realized right away that included you.”

  I tilted my head to study his expression while awareness zipped through me. “Why? What happened to you that you'd trust a total stranger like me?”

  He gave a half shrug. “My instincts about people are never wrong.”

  “That’s a bold statement,” I said, and then we both devoted the attention they deserved to our sundaes. The ice cream was fresh and clearly not the cheap stuff in plastic served at the diner where I worked. And the brownie tasted freshly baked.

  I gobbled my desert like I’d never had ice cream before.

  Dessert finished, Cyrus sat back and said, “In time people always reveal their character. The biggest issue I see regularly is grief that has been so internalized it affects the heart.”

  Cyrus was a sweet man, and he noticed details about people most of us stopped caring about. I smiled and asked, “Why did you go to medical school?”

  He whispered and glanced around. “Come closer. I don’t want the staff to report my answer.”

  I moved my chair and settled beside him. The hairs stood on end where our arms touched, but I whispered, “Okay, here I am.”

  He moved closer, and our knees touched. For a second, I couldn’t breathe. Then he whispered, “My mother pushed and said being a doctor was a respectable job if I didn’t want to do business like my father.”

  I was speechless. I’d expected much bigger secrets. “That’s it?”

  He nodded but kept his voice low. “I kept specializing because I wasn’t looking for work.”

  My sister had been driven while she was in medical school, on a mission to prove she was always the best of the best. I tried to stifle a grin as I tapped his forearm. “Wow, so you were wasting your time.”

  He shrugged and said, “Elon’s inspired me, though. He’s started a practice that specializes in women’s health, and he’s taking it national. If I did that, I’d combine business and my specialty, only it would be for heart patients.”

  What would it be like to kiss him? I couldn’t quite figure it out beyond knowing it would be sweeter than ice cream. He had options, wasn’t looking for an excuse to do nothing, and he was a great doctor who noticed details about people.

  Joshua cried. We both jumped. I quickly said, “That helps people.”

  He then said, “My son is calling. Let’s go.”

  Right. It was harder to run in heels, but he grabbed my hand. Part of me was happy the baby interrupted, because honestly, I ached to kiss him. Thank goodness the interruption put a stop to that crazy urge.

  8

  Sarah

  While I sat with Cyrus in the playroom, he was trying to get Joshua to laugh. The baby's m
outh moved, and cheeks crinkled like he was smiling, and that encouraged more joking.

  And for one second it was amazing. Cyrus was dependable, focused on his son, and, as I gazed at his profile, my lips tingled with the urge to kiss him.

  We were behaving like we were a family, and my heart stirred. Then Joshua closed his eyes and fell asleep. Cyrus scooped his son up and placed him in the crib.

  I beckoned for him to come with me out the door. Once we were outside, he leaned back against the wall, hands in his pockets, and said, “He sleeps so much.”

  I giggled and cupped his face. “You’re the doctor, so I'm sure you already know it's common at this age.”

  He glanced at the door like he’d rather go back in as he asked, “You’re sure?”

  I had the infant monitor in my pocket and gestured for him to join me on the steps. Night was falling, but it wasn’t late yet.

  And today had been such a perfect day. I’d never felt so peaceful when I said, “Infants sleep. While babysitting I’ve been getting some reading in, or resting, because he wakes up at odd hours in the night.”

  He put his arm around me and walked with me as he said, “I’m glad you’ve been there for him.”

  “Me too. He’s sweet,” I said as we mounted the stairs.

  My heart thumped, and I glanced up at him, wondering what he thought of me.

  If he meant what he said on the beach, then maybe I should kiss him. It would be nice to be wanted.

  However, the doorbell rang. Cyrus took his phone out and showed me the screen on his app as he said, “My brother Warren is here.”

  This was their parents’ house. I stopped short and said, “I’ll leave you alone.”

  He took my hand in his like he wanted me with him, and said, “Don’t. Come on down with me. It'll be fun. You’ll like Warren.”

  Liking his family wasn’t supposed to matter. We arrived at the door just when a blond man who was tall and could double for a movie star stepped in. He clapped Cyrus on the back and said, “Here’s the phone you ordered.”