Handsome

by Pinder, Victoria

  “Yes,” he said, and offered it again.

  This time I nodded, but asked, “Why's it in a glass mug?”

  He poured almost better than I did when wielding a coffee pot at the diner while he said, “So you can judge the color and our hosting skills.”

  I shrugged while enjoyed the tea's complex fragrances again. The earthy smell was sweet and not overwhelming as I said, “Well, your hosting skills must be excellent, because it’s not in a bag and it smells wonderful.”

  He picked up his fork, still perfectly natural while holding his son as he said, “Of course. And eat as much as you can so you'll have enough energy on the yacht.”

  I took a few bites, and everything was delicious. He gulped his tea hot, but I stuck to the food. This wasn't oily at all, and I’ve had my share of oily eggs. Once I finished, I sat back and said, “I’ve never been sailing before.”

  Then I picked up my tea. It was almost the right temperature to drink. After one quick sip, I realized it was as delicious as it smelled, and not like the bags at the diner at all.

  He said, “We’re not sailing exactly, though we might for part of the journey, depending on the winds.”

  I finished my tea and closed my eyes.

  His voice was just as savory as the tea when he asked, “Are you ready?”

  I poured myself a second glass and said, “Almost. This is yummy and warm, and I need to finish this.”

  He laughed and pushed his glass closer to me. I put more tea in his cup too while he said, “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. You seem calm today.”

  He looked serene. I wished I could be as calm as he was about everything. He quickly downed the piping hot drink like it was expresso while I gazed into the earthy, warm, reddish-brown drink as I said, “I've been thinking a lot about you and your life since last night.”

  “Good or bad?” he asked.

  Heat rushed through me. I set down my tea, turned in my chair to face him, and asked, “Is there anything bad to know about you, other than you're too serious?”

  “I’ve been accused of being predictable.”

  Another good quality. Sure, I've always heard bad boys are more fun, but honestly, my experience was that trouble only ever led to more trouble. I picked up my glass and said, “So no, you’re basically good-looking and perfect.”

  I was in the middle of another sip of the hot tea when he said, “Exactly. So you should marry me, and then we’ll be happy forever.”

  I almost dropped the hot tea in my lap. Marry?

  But as soon as I saw that cute smile of his, I relaxed. He was joking.

  I’d fantasize about it later, but I folded my hands on my lap and said, “A few big problems with that theory.”

  He leaned closer, and the world disappeared the way it always did when he was near, as he asked, “What are they?”

  “You didn’t ask me,” I said with full confidence and then took another sip of my tea. It was still good. Once I was done, I said, “And I’m happy you’re not being serious. I’m still trying to figure out what I really want in life and marrying you would confuse the… beep out of that process.”

  “Beep. You said beep?” He snickered and slapped his knee.

  I rolled my eyes but couldn't seem to stifle a grin. “You’re fancy, so I shouldn’t swear, but yeah, I’ve been thinking about my life and what I want, which is odd, because I never used to imagine anything.”

  I finished my tea and then gestured that we should go.

  He nodded, stood, and asked, “So did you figure out what you want?”

  We walked together while I took one last look at the garden behind us as I said, “I’d like a slice of what you have.”

  He placed his hand on my lower back and my body steamed from his touch as he asked, “What’s that? Money?”

  He cradled Joshua in his other arm, so I reached across him to cup the baby's downy little head and said, “No. I’d want a close, loving family. And I like the idea of adoption, where I can help a child in need not be… alone.”

  He guided me to the door and then a path as he said, “You’d be great. Anything else?”

  Guess it was time to go. I put my hands behind me and stayed next to him as I said, “Well, truthfully, not working at a diner has given me time to get plenty of sleep on a nice bed.”

  He winked. “Good.”

  For a second, I wondered what being his bed would feel like. I imagined him in bed beside me, waking me up with a soft kiss. I shook my head, like that might help dissipate the vibrant colors of my fantasy, as I said, “And workwise, being a nanny to my nephew is giving me time to figure out whether I love anything enough to pursue it.”

  He placed his hand over his heart and said, “I thought you were going to pursue me more seriously.”

  I sucked in my giggle and instead teased, “Well, I’ll think about it… after this next dance class. Don’t want to get so distracted I step on your toes.”

  A ship with two people working on deck was on the same dock where we waved off his parents the other day. And it was about the same size, so there was probably plenty of room downstairs for the three of us.

  He said, “Don’t let me get away. You’d be sorry.”

  I found myself bouncing along while I walked beside him. So far today was an unexpectedly good moment, but I crossed my arms and said, “How can I believe in this conversation when we both know you only offered me this job because you want to save me?”

  He asked, “Do you need saving?”

  My heart pounded. I hadn’t meant to bring that up. I swallowed fast and then said, “No, I’ve always been fine.”

  We walked on deck, and he waved to the staff on our way inside, where he directed me to a small corner with a bassinet, where he put the baby down and he continued to sleep.

  Then Cyrus straightened and said, “Well, I want us to work together… partly because it’s obvious you love Joshua.”

  If I interpreted his pause correctly, he’d changed whatever he originally intended to say. However, I didn’t ask, and instead just nodded and said, “Right, and he’s also why I’m here.”

  He stood next to me, and our arms brushed as the ship swayed gently. My scalp tingled with goose bumps as he said, “And I’d never take what’s not offered.”

  He could have me. Desire raced through me, head to toe, but I said, “I just don’t want to stop you from living your life… to the fullest.”

  The ship’s engines rumbled to life, and the captain blasted the horn.

  My first trip that didn’t start and end with the subway. I walked to the window and gazed out at the water, soothed by the boat's gentle rocking motion.

  Cyrus was a such sweet man.

  I glanced over my shoulder to find out he was staring at me, and tingling awareness zipped along my skin as he asked, “Are you telling me to go out and date?”

  Rocks formed in my gut. And my throat tightened, but I nodded and said, “Maybe. We can only ever be employer/employee.”

  He came closer, and every step sent another thrill through me as he asked, “Really?”

  If he kept this up, I’d break. I knew it in my soul. I offered him my hand to shake and said, “And friends.”

  He picked my hand up and kissed it.

  My whole body pulsed in reaction.

  Then he said, “Well I’d like to start there… as friends. Because I do like you.”

  “I like you too,” I whispered.

  I ached to kiss him. I wished I could, but fairy tales were for kids, and I learned the hard way that life was always hard, except for the glittering exceptions that, when they burned out, destroyed you.

  And the fairy tale version of Cyrus and me would absolutely gut me.

  11

  Sarah

  The baby monitor on the phone was set now, and it came on automatically if Joshua even moved.

  I shoved it in my back pocket and watched while Cyrus used the control center to direct music and lights to one of roo
ms we weren’t in.

  I glanced over at the sophisticated sound system and assumed it was custom built.

  Everything in Cyrus's world was designed to serve him and his interests.

  He returned to my side and then took my hand.

  Sparks rushed through me, though he didn’t say anything until we checked on Joshua one more time and found him still sound asleep.

  Then he whispered, “Come. Let me show you the dance floor.”

  My heart thumped, and I wasn’t sure whether it was nerves or joy or both.

  He held the door for me, and I gasped with pleasure when I noticed flickering fairy lights and, toward the back, the bright afternoon sun of summer. Behind us was the land we’d left and his parents' gorgeous mansion.

  When he joined me, my skin prickled with desire as I said, “This is a dance floor.”

  He took my hand in his and the music changed. “It was the lounge area. I had staff remove the seating so we can sit inside to enjoy the sunset later.”

  Marvelous was too tame for what I constantly felt, but then he placed my arm on his in a clear dance position while I said, “It’s absolutely gorgeous.”

  “So are you,” he said, and stepped forward.

  To follow meant he had control. My mind percolated with tantalizing images, though I shook my head and said, “Lies, but sweet ones.”

  He gave me a stern look that could have been teasing or serious. “I never fib.”

  I glanced away for a second and saw nothing but ocean outside.

  This was a dream. I sighed and said, “Look, how can I repay you for letting me come?”

  He winked. “Stop stressing. Joshua is sleeping, and we’re alone.”

  I missed a step. He gave me a second to regroup, but I shook my head and said, “Now I’m scared.”

  “Don’t be," he whispered, his breath warming my skin. Then he said, “Tell me something about you.”

  But he already had the basics. I shrugged and said, “There's nothing to tell.”

  He twirled me and said, “Every woman has her secrets.”

  For a second, I tensed. Leah would have lied at this moment. I inhaled and met his gaze. “She does?”

  He showed me a dance shuffle and I mimicked his footsteps while he said, “It’s what Maman says.”

  I couldn't help but smile. “She just said that to get a few minutes to herself.”

  He let out a small chuckle. “Possibly, but either way, I am curious about you.”

  I wrinkled my nose. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to answer, but I wouldn't pretend. I spun and then he caught me while I said, “Not much to tell. The diner, then home. I binge on a lot of TV shows for entertainment.”

  We repeated the same pattern and then he asked, “That’s it?”

  I pressed my lips together. I was almost finished describing everything in my twenty-four-hour period on a normal day—at least the way it had been until I met him. I blinked and then added, “And I volunteer at the soup kitchen, serving the homeless, but that’s like waitressing for free.”

  We twirled together and then he asked, “Weren’t you… bored?”

  The beat changed in the song, and we sped up while I said, “Wanting what you have will never happen.”

  “I never had to work for anything. If I wanted anything, I’d get it, no strings attached.”

  My eyes widened. When I paid my bills and rent at the end of the month, I knew it was my sweat that kept me alive. I cupped his face and asked, “So were you bored?”

  “Not exactly,” he said, but then added, “I knew I didn’t want to be like my father, who expected his sons to become financial geniuses like he is and start their own companies. So I studied and studied and studied.”

  And school was one area where Leah excelled on her own. So I said, “Now that sounds a little like Leah, though she knew she’d be an ob-gyn right from the start.”

  I stilled and my skin grew cold. I hadn’t intended to mention my sister at all.

  Her name alone must make him angry.

  However, he turned me and said, “So did Elon. But he’s inspired me recently.”

  Right. Cyrus basically hadn’t told me a thing, either because he was sweet or because he wasn’t willing to tell me how he felt. I stayed with him, refusing to bring down the conversation again.

  Instead, I asked, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  He pressed his lips together but then asked, “Do you know anywhere that could use a heart center where people might not be able to afford it?”

  The music slowed, but he dipped me. My heart and body were alive, but I only said, “Come to Queens. We’re up-and-coming, but we still have sick people and ones whose diets are not at all nutritious.”

  Then he let me go, and for a second, I was cold as he said, “Thank you for the dance.”

  I stepped into the sunny area and watched how our ship left a path of small waves behind it, and the land had receded into the distance.

  Being in Cyrus's arms was so natural. Even my skin buzzed while I talked way more than I usually do. When he joined me to gaze across the ocean, I said, “You’re full of surprises.”

  He put his hand out in front of me and said, “Now you mention it, I want to show you around while Joshua is asleep.”

  Like where I slept sounded important. I decided not to ask, but simply took his hand in mine.

  Goose bumps cascaded all over me.

  But I followed him because, I was surprised to realize, I trusted Cyrus.

  We tiptoed silently through the area where Joshua was sleeping, and Cyrus then led me down a small flight of stairs to a row of rooms that were probably barely big enough to accommodate a bed. He opened one near the back and waited for me to go in. I let go of his hand, walked in and my eyes widened.

  All sorts of women’s clothing were lined up on a wall that was clearly a closet. I turned and asked, “What’s this?”

  He came up behind me and said, “Some stuff I thought you might need for the island.”

  I picked up a pair of shoes while my pulse pounded. I never wanted the signature Manhattanite red sole Louboutin heels, and showed him as I said, “These are all super fancy.”

  He gazed at me like he was proud of me and said, “You’ll look great.”

  Heat sizzled through me from head to toe, and I closed my eyes. “I can’t—”

  He took my hands and I stopped speaking. Then he said, “I ordered this because I want to do something nice for you, not because I expect anything in return but what we've agreed on. I just like seeing you happy.”

  I took a deep breath. Cyrus was unlike any man I’d ever known. I cupped his face and said, “Wow, you’re amazing.”

  He pointed to a side table and said, “You haven’t opened the drawer.”

  For a second, I wondered if there was a diamond ring in there. I opened it and realized the box was too long for that. But my eyes were wide as I asked him, “What’s this?”

  He nodded for me to open it. I took it out, and tears burned my eyelids as he said, “You only had one piece of jewelry in your room, so I had it reset.”

  It was only a tree, but it was from the one person who had loved me. I wiped my cheeks and said, “It was… my grandmother’s. She wore it every day, and I bought it back from the pawnshop my mother sold it to but wasn't able to get there before they stripped it down.”

  He took out the pendant and put it in my hand. “Did my jeweler get any of the stones wrong?”

  Grandma hadn’t been able to afford much, and my mother hadn’t given her a second thought when she sold all her treasures right after she died. With my fingertip, I traced the probably-diamonds now embedded in the setting and said, “These are probably nicer than what she had. Thank you.”

  I pivoted, and he clasped it around my neck.

  The small pendant of a tree illuminated when light reflected against the stones. And his breath on my skin fed the desire gathering in my core.

  He gave my shoul
der a gentle squeeze and said, “Tonight we sleep on the ship. Tomorrow we’ll be on the island.”

  I turned and gazed up at his mouth. I was willing to bet he was a better kisser than I’d ever experienced. My lips tingled to find out as I said, “Looking forward to it.”

  Then Joshua cried. I let out an almost-spoiled sigh and said, “There's our cue.”

  He nodded and let me leave first. I knew eventually I’d have to tell him how I was wrong for him and why he’d be better off without me. I’d never told a soul my truth, but if I kept talking the way I did when I was around him, I’d probably reveal my secret.

  12

  Sarah

  Joshua and Cyrus were bonding while he fed him the bottle, so I dashed off to take a quick shower. The shower was smaller than my apartment stall, but I managed. It was nice to be clean, and the selection of soaps smelled heavenly.

  Once done, I felt like a new person, and chose white linen pants and a teal blue shirt. Then I slipped my oval tree necklace on and glanced out the porthole.

  Water was everywhere.

  I bounced on my feet and darted to the main interior deck.

  Being near Cyrus was nice. It was like I wasn’t alone, even though we had nothing in common. He beckoned me in and said, “Maman and Pedar want to talk to you too.”

  My heart thumped as I asked, “Me?”

  He nodded like it was normal and then pointed behind him and said, “And can you bring the teapot?”

  There was a tea kettle. I grabbed two cups and the kettle and took the space next to him on the loveseat.

  On his computer screen were his parents. For a moment it was like I was part of his world, his family. I could feel my heart lift and a smile break out as I said, “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Norouzi.”

  His mother shook her head and said, “Sarah, please call me Roxanne, and call my husband Parvis.”

  That was her name. My face felt hot. I hadn’t been sure, but I nodded and said, “Okay.”

  “So how are your sea legs?” his father asked.

  I looked down at myself and asked, “Was something supposed to be wrong with my legs?”