Cyrus glanced at my pants too.
His mother said, “No, dear. Some people get sick at sea. It was an expression.”
I met Cyrus’s gaze and my heart thumped. For a second, I forgot we were talking, but then I reached for my necklace and played with it while I said, “It’s nicer than riding the train. The sound is soothing.”
His mother's smile brightened, and she asked, “And Cyrus is treating you well?”
I nodded. I wished I’d been born into a family who checked on me and called and cared. Cyrus was lucky, and I said, “He’s a perfect gentleman.”
“Well, you can call me if he gets out of line.”
I laughed. The mother of trillionaires and married to a powerful man wasn’t exactly on my speed dial, but still I said, “You’re sweet.”
She and her husband glanced at each other and then she said, “And thank you for helping take care of our grandson. We’re buying him gifts.”
Joshua was luckier than I ever imagined. He’d belong in a family. I nodded and said, “I’m sure he’ll love whatever you choose for him.”
Cyrus waved and said, “'Night, Maman. 'Night Pedar.”
I glanced behind us and saw the sun was still up. I tilted my head and, as he logged off, said, “Evening is just beginning.”
He stood and beckoned for me to join him as he replied, “Habit. Are you ready to eat?”
We walked over to the crib, and I closed the blinds that instantly made his small side room completely dark, as I said, “He’s sleeping again.”
He turned on a night-light and whispered, “It will just be the two of us, then.”
My lips tingled for the taste of his. He brushed against my arm and then guided me to where we danced earlier.
Now there was a small table set up for two, and a view of the ocean all around us. All we had to do was step forward to leave the shade and be on the sundeck.
My heart pounded. Once again, he’d done something lovely for me. I avoided his gaze and asked, “We’re eating here? I’m not dressed properly.”
“You’re perfect as you are.”
I met his gaze and said, “Doubtful.”
Then I noticed a small digital frame in the corner of the room, tucked on a side table next to a chair that would be temptingly comfortable for reading while enjoying the sunshine without getting any direct sun exposure.
I went over and picked up the digital frame. Twelve men together. I showed it to him and asked, “Are these all your brothers?”
He glanced at it and seemed wistful, though maybe I read the gleam in his eyes all wrong when he said, “It was last summer in this photo, right before two of my brothers fell in love and now are soon to be married.”
Big events change families. But when I was here, with him, it was like I had a home—which was crazy. So I ignored the feeling and asked him, “Which ones?”
He pointed to a man in the middle. “This is Arman. He’s engaged to Maddie, a woman he’s been in love with since they were teenagers.”
And probably caused Maddie a lot of hand-wringing. Cyrus was handsome, and seemed so stable, I had to ask, “What took him so long?”
“She married another man.”
I internally cringed. I was wrong. Thankfully I hadn't said anything stupid or derogatory about his brother.
I cupped his face and said, “I can’t imagine any man replacing you, and you two look alike.”
He gazed at me so intensely, I swear he was about to kiss me. My skin buzzed from his nearness, but then he said, “And this is Joel. He married Kendal, who he met while visiting Tennessee.”
He pointed to the man in the middle right next to Arman. I then glanced at Cyrus near the back and noticed how he stood next to Warren. The family was clearly close. I asked, “How long did they date before the wedding?”
He winked and said, “Oh they eloped right away, though the family wedding is scheduled early this summer.”
I rocked on my feet and didn’t bother to pretend to look at the picture as I said, “You and Warren are standing next to each other.”
Servers put plates on the table.
He brushed my wrist and said, “He’s been my best friend for a long time. Growing up in such a big family, it’s not uncommon for some siblings to be closer than others.”
The opposite of my life. My pulse zipped. My mother, sister and brother ignored me, and when I left home, no one cared… until Joshua. My skin erupted in goose bumps, and I had to ask, “You mean no one was ever alone?”
He guided me away from the corner and said, “Not that I know of, and it’s always been important that we're all there for each other, no matter what.”
I walked beside him with a bounce to my step and said, “Your family sounds sweet.”
“Dinner is served,” he said and held my seat for me.
I settled in while wishing I belonged in his world. I’d never met a nicer man in my life.
13
Cyrus
The music was light jazz and a waltz. If we weren’t eating, I’d ask her to just sway with me. We didn’t need to practice.
And her brown hair seemed lighter in the evening and showed off a nice glow to her face.
Sarah was beautiful, and it shone from inside her warm heart.
I sipped wine and watched her while she did the same. Her mouth made me hard with desire.
I tensed but went ahead and asked, “When was your last relationship?”
She put her glass down, ate the rest of her salad, and then, once she was done, she almost whispered, “I wouldn’t call my last boyfriend a relationship really, not in any substantial way.”
Staff cleared the table and left our lamb. We were silent, but her nearness made me feel awake and ready for her.
Once we were alone, I asked the question that burned through me, “Why wasn't it a real relationship?”
She played with the stem of her glass, gazing at the red wine and not at me, though her eyes and lips were downturned when she said, “I don’t think either one of us was looking for love. And I was with him because I was lonely.”
Tension and a sense of urgency seized me because I wanted to go back in time and save her from the pain.
I could tell she had no idea what I was feeling, because she continued and said, “It ended with a feeling of nothingness. I didn’t miss him. I didn’t want him back.” She gazed at me, and the sense of loss disappeared as she said, "And if you love someone, I think you’re supposed to care.”
I wished she’d kiss me, I wanted her so much. But instead I said, “That’s normal.”
She lifted her chin, but she spoke quickly as she asked, “What about you? And don’t talk about Leah.”
I’d explained everything. Sarah was real to me, not her sister, though I would never have dated anyone my brothers dated. I took her hand and said, “Leah wasn’t a relationship. I hardly knew her.”
She lowered her lashes like she wanted to hide her expression, though she didn’t pull away. “She’d been taking hormone pills for a while to make sure whoever she chose would get her pregnant.”
My heart beat faster as I said, “What?”
She wiped her face and then gazed at me. Then she heaved a long sigh and said, “She told me all about it, and even offered to help me scam someone if I wanted to finally ‘grow up.’”
My throat was tight and my voice hoarse, but I asked anyway, “What did you say?”
She gulped her wine and then said, “I told her I was there to babysit, but I was never going to be like her.” She then took a bite of her salad and chewed for a few moments. Once she finished and wiped her mouth, she looked out across the ocean and said, “She dismissed me, but then that’s been the story of my life.”
I scooted my chair closer. I believed her. She was sexy and sweet all rolled into one, but I asked, “So you didn’t take any of Leah's pills?”
Her eyes widened and her face turned white. Then she said, “Absolutely not!”
I’
d never trusted anyone easily, but I also wasn’t a fool. My gut told me Sarah was special, so I patted her knee and said, “I believe you.”
She laughed and then said, “For a second there I was nervous that you wouldn't.”
I refilled our glasses, and we ate a few more bites. Then I whispered, “Sarah, you’re a kind woman. I don’t fully understand your family dynamics, but I’m glad you’re here with me now.”
She scooted toward me, and it was like she offered me the respite of normalcy I’d always craved. “I don’t understand yours, to be honest.”
Maybe if she knew more about me, she’d understand. I sipped my wine and said, “Don’t get me wrong. My brothers and I have had our share of arguments, but they're normally settled pretty easily. I’d do anything for any of them.”
She shook her head, but then finished her dinner. Once we were done, she said, “I don’t know what that’s like. But I've always dreamed of being in a family like yours, where caring isn’t based on what you can do for them.”
I cleaned up the rest of my potatoes and tossed my napkin on the empty plate before saying, “I can’t pretend to know what that’s like. The worst pain we felt was when Evan died.”
She sipped her wine and then gazed at me. “Who was Evan?”
My voice was low, but I understood how she felt far better than she realized. The air near her buzzed with intensity but I said, “He was an adopted brother, but he had brain cancer.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said, and stroked my face.
Her touch set me off. I wanted her in my soul. But I didn’t dare move as I said, “He was a funny kid. We all miss him.”
Her eyes misted like she felt sad for me, and she said, “So you do know what it’s like to lose a sibling.”
“Yeah, I do,” I said. I hadn’t meant to tell her, but not telling her would have been a lie.
With time, I hope she would want me as much as I wanted her.
14
Cyrus
Joshua cried, and since Sarah mentioned she hadn't been able to hold him in a few hours, rather than ask to hold him myself, I watched her cuddle my son, and the two of them stole my heart.
I’ve never wanted anyone as much.
I was about to go in and join them, but my phone rang. I answered the video call quickly while I headed back outside to watch the setting sun and asked, “Warren, what’s going on?”
“Maman is planning a party for my birthday in two weeks.”
I smiled. Warren was at a precipice, and he wanted to quit our father’s company or at least take time off.
I knew the stress of worrying wasn’t worth it, but I wouldn't be able to convince him. I smiled and asked, “Are you going to tell them you’re leaving?”
“It’s time.”
Ding. Ding. Ding. It was exactly what I’d prescribe. I nodded and said, “They’ll understand you need time to find yourself.”
“I don’t want to hurt them.”
He sounded like we were still teenagers. I glanced behind me, into the ship where Sarah and my son were cozy together and said, “You can’t live without making the time to follow your dream.”
And I needed to follow that advice myself. Sarah took my breath away with her startling combination of blunt honesty and beauty.
“Will you explain that I’ll be back?”
The ship rocked as I told my brother, “I won’t help you in this. You’ll need to tell our parents yourself.”
Maman probably already knew, since she read us all faster than we understood ourselves. The door opened and Sarah beckoned to me like a lighthouse in a dark night.
Warren must have seen her because he asked, “Are you already on the ship with Sarah?”
“Yeah,” I said, and met her gaze.
She had a tug inside her gaze that was stronger than a magnet.
My brother's voice broke through the second we were alone. Warren called out, “Sarah, I’m sorry for stealing my brother from you.”
She came over to me, her face bright pink as she raised her voice and said to Warren, “It’s not a problem.”
Warren replied, “You’re making Cyrus easier to talk to. Keep it up.”
She held my sleeping son to her chest and glanced down at the water, away from me. To be near her, I looked out at the moon that was just now rising above the horizon and marking a path across the water. She let out a sigh and said, “I thought you two were best friends.”
Warren said, “He’s the one who usually just listens without giving an opinion. You found yourself a good man there, Sarah. Give Joshua a kiss for me when he wakes up.”
I needed to get off the phone before Warren totally blew any progress I'd made with Sarah.
And earning her trust was at the top of my list.
Sarah said to Warren, “I love how your family is there for each other. Oops! Joshua is awake, so I have to go.”
She smiled at me, and my entire body responded to that smile.
A moment later she went back inside, presumably to put Joshua down for a nap.
Warren said, “Might as well admit it. You like her, Cyrus.”
The door clicked shut and my skin buzzed with a desire to be near her again as I said, “She’s unlike anyone I've ever met.”
Warren then asked, “And it doesn’t bother her about Leah and you?”
Now there was a sucker punch to my gut, but then Warren always had a strong and accurate sense of what’s right and wrong. I tugged on my ear like I’d been caught and said, “There was nothing there, but from what has been explained to me, she and her sister did not have the best relationship.”
The rest of the story was private and not mine to tell.
Warren asked, “Do you know why?”
“Not yet.” I said. First, she needed to trust me.
Warren then said, “Well, don’t push. We’re all on a different internal clock, and sometimes people keep secrets because they don’t want to cause hurt.”
And that was more about Warren's fear. I took a deep breath and said, “Maman and Pedar are going to be fine.”
Then Warren said, “And you can win Sarah’s heart if you want to. I have faith in you.”
I puffed out my chest and I said, “I’ve never had trouble with women.”
He laughed. “Yeah, but you've never showed this much interest before. Take your time and study, but don’t wait too long, because someone else might try to steal her away.”
We were on Sarah's schedule, but I said, “Lucky for me, she’s coming with me to the family's island. And now I have to go.”
“Goodbye,” he said.
I said the same and headed back in.
I wanted to make sure Sarah was all right...
…Okay, I'll admit I just wanted to be near her again.
15
Cyrus
I rejoined her in the main room, where we had the corner area set up as the daytime nursery.
Tonight she’d begged to let Joshua sleep in her room, and I agreed. Actually I wanted to join them both, but I couldn't bring myself to ask her.
First, I needed to know if she wanted me too. Every time I brought up the topic, she avoided it or seemed oblivious. Every time I was near her my entire body buzzed with awareness and even my hairs stood on end, hoping for intimate attention.
I popped my head in the room and our eyes met.
Longing rushed through me. With anyone else, I’d have kissed her already, but Sarah’s sweetness both tempted me and tortured me. I whispered, “He’s down for a nap?”
“Yeah, he just needed a bottle.” She got to her feet and came closer, the air smelling sweeter the closer she got.
I took her hand and fought my base urge to claim her, instead simply saying, “Come with me.”
We went down a few steps and then forward down the hall so we could look at the bow. At the end of the hall, we went up the long flight of stairs and then opened the hatch to get out.
The bow area had beach chairs and loung
es for sunbathing, plus a small sauna, but this time I just wanted to show her around. She pressed her hand to her tree pendant and said, “Wow. What’s this?”
I walked her to where we could see that we were sailing into the open sea while the moon rose beyond the waters that seemed darker now.
I explained, “During the day I thought it was too much sun for Joshua, so I didn’t show you, but the front of the ship, usually called the "bow," is where we’d normally go to sunbathe or relax.”
“It’s breathtaking,” she said while she glanced around.
I wanted her. Not having her physically hurt, but I didn’t dare. I’d be honorable, even if it killed me.
Instead, I simply said, “So are you.”
“No, it’s you who's good-looking,” she said, and playfully pressed her shoulder against my arm.
My heart beat wildly. I skimmed my hand over her hip and said, “If we’re giving each other nicknames, I’m going with sheereen-am for you.”
She glanced up at me, and my heart pounded when she asked, “What’s that mean?”
“My sweet.” I said, and reached for her other hip, resting my hand on her warm curves.
She smelled like vanilla and strawberry shampoo while she whispered close to my ear, “We shouldn’t hold each other so tight.”
My stomach actually had butterflies, but I refused to scare her away, so I said, “I’ll let you go.”
“Don’t,” she said, and squeezed my arm to hold me in place.
My cock hardened even more, like I needed to pound her. But I ignored the barbarian urges she brought out in me and simply hugged her instead. “Okay,” I said.
She sighed and then went up on tiptoe. “It’s undeniable. Besides, we both want to know.”
My lips were aching with need as I asked, “Know what?”
“This,” she said, and then kissed me.
I forgot everything else in that moment because she convinced me we belonged together.
16
Handsome Page 8
