Cyrus
Her lips set off a bonfire inside me, and my blood rushed to harden my dick into a full-on erection.
I wanted her, bad.
But in spite of my rampaging urges, I found myself savoring our kiss.
I hugged her and tasted her lips. My heart fluttered.
My hard-on could wait.
We made out like teenagers—urgent, seeking, and intense.
She held me and nuzzled against my neck.
My five o’clock shadow was surely scraping against her soft cheeks and neck, but she held me like she hungered for more.
We stopped for air as my craving for her made my balls swell and tighten.
She sighed and said, “You’re clearly the best-looking of the brothers.”
My determination to ensure she loved every second of our time together barely held me back.
She trembled, and I hugged her and said, “We’re just taking our time.” I hugged her some more while we continued to stoke the fire inside us both through simple kissing and brushing against each other.
I held her in an embrace as we paused to catch our breath, but then she whispered, “I’ve never been kissed like this.”
I vowed she’d only have pleasure from me. The thrill of holding her was enough for now. I whispered as I wanted another nuzzle, “Sheereen-am, let’s not let it end yet.”
She bit her lip and asked, “Can the captain see us?”
Shyness was another sexy part of her.
Our captain was trained to not look at private moments, but I glanced at the clock and said, “He’s eating his dinner below deck right now.”
She smiled up at me and asked, “Are we safe?”
“Yes, don’t worry,” I said, and kissed her with all the longing in my heart.
Her hands were shaking while she unbuttoned her shirt and then guided my hand to the zipper of her trousers and said, “I trust you.”
The urge to simply take her nearly overwhelmed my good intentions, but I did as she asked and helped her remove them.
She was my fantasies come true. She was beautiful. When she reached behind her and unhooked her bra, allowing me to see all of her, I ached for her.
She was mine.
I’d ensure she’d never leave.
I was so tense I had to clear my throat before I could rasp out, “You’re gorgeous.”
She laughed and reached for my shirt as she said, “No, you’re the one who's good-looking.”
I tasted her lips again, but my hands explored her breasts, her nipples hardening as I fondled them, then bent down and captured one in my mouth, licking, and nuzzling her. She encouraged me with little sighs and moans while her entire body flushed a pretty, seductive pink.
Excitement surged through me as I cupped her other breast and then switched my whole attention to that one.
She hugged me and whispered, “Yes.”
I skimmed one hand down her belly and lower to test her readiness with my fingers, while she responded by clutching me harder and groaning.
She was ready.
When I found her clit, she cried out, “Please!” and her eyes rolled back in her head while she lost herself in her orgasm.
I continued to stroke her center. Her eyes were hazy with desire, but then a baby’s cry called out. She fluttered her eyes and said, “Don’t stop.”
Then Joshua’s voice echoed on her phone too.
She struggled to settle her breathing back to normal, while I was hard and ready to claim her entirely, but I stood and fixed my pants and said, “That’s our cue.”
She reached for her pants and underwear, though I got down on my knees grabbed them first as she said, “You’re right. We should go.”
“Let me help you.” I held her panties for her.
She let me, and I kissed the apex of her thighs as I tugged them up. She sighed and said, “I wish…”
Joshua’s cries grew more intense. I helped her into her pants and said, “We’ll be on the island tomorrow.”
I stilled for a moment because I’d wanted to hold her all night and needed to rid myself of the hope, but then nodded and said, “Okay, then until tomorrow. Good night.”
“Good night.”
And she rushed to care for my son. I needed her in our lives because she fit in perfectly.
I closed my eyes and told the night sky, “I need a fucking freezing shower.”
I waited until I was in total control, and then went to my room to relieve myself.
17
Sarah
The sway of the ship was the only reason I slept at all. The sun rising outside my round window told me that, one, it was morning, and two, I’d have to face him again.
My body still ached with need. The sheets didn’t hide me. I reached inside and brushed against myself where he touched me last night.
No man had ever, ever.
Heat rose in my cheeks and all the way out to my ears.
I wanted him. If Joshua hadn’t cried, for the first time in my life I would have experienced what it was like to be fucking special to someone.
Oh, but that was such a lie.
This was a one-way street to disaster.
His kiss had been branding and aching with need.
It was time to quit.
If I didn’t, I’d break.
And this time, with him, I’d never recover.
I cleaned myself while the baby still slept and wondered how Cyrus had managed to maintain such control.
My ex and every other man I ever met would have simply taken more than I offered.
Cyrus was in his soul honorable, and never thought about his own pleasure first.
In other words, he was perfect—but I wasn’t. Far from it.
If I stayed near him, I’d drown myself in deeper trouble.
I needed to quit, and it was time to tell him.
18
Sarah
My heart hammered while I cuddled with Joshua and carried him to the galley to get him a bottle.
He hadn't experienced that painful gas since the switch to bottled breast milk, and since we had a freezer full now, he’d be set.
And since they didn’t need me or my advice, they’d both be okay. And it wasn’t like I could leave an island in the next few days, anyway.
The only thing quitting would affect was the dancing he enjoyed so much. Even that, though, was just for fun, so I didn’t need to worry. He'd be fine.
And I’d have to keep my knees together long enough to get back to New York and beg to get my job back at the diner.
Life wasn’t fun in my black and white world, but my heart was safer.
I warmed the bottle and made my way up to the main room we used all day yesterday.
The air felt warmer here, so I guessed we were closer to our target.
The door to the practice area for dancing and breakfast opened on the other side and I smiled in spite of myself. Cyrus was deadly handsome, and for a second, I couldn’t breathe.
Then the baby in my arms started crying. I rocked him, but said, “Joshua wants his dad.”
Cyrus offered his finger, and his son held it tight as he said, “Baba.”
I adjusted my body to show him, and also said, “I brought the bottle.”
He laughed and genuinely smiled at his little one, saying, “No, I want him to call me baba when he starts talking.”
“Why?”
Cyrus made a cute baby sound and then met my gaze, “Because that’s what I called my father when I was little.”
Ahh. My face burned. I wasn’t thinking. I swallowed and then said, “That’s sweet.”
He stroked his son’s head and said, “Joshua enjoys being in your arms. Can you handle it for a little while longer while I get the staff to set our breakfast?”
Maybe I should stay and help. I understood as I stood looking at his lips that the problem was me and my habit of running when things got uncomfortable—not Cyrus.
Then I nodded and said, “
Of course but I need to tell you...”
My voice trailed off. I wasn’t going to leave him and the baby. I wasn’t sure if staying was right, but I couldn’t leave. For once I held my tongue near him.
He blinked and asked, “Tell me what?”
My mind raced. Life as a waitress had cluttered my brain with kind of things people asked for at breakfast. Finally, I said, “I hope there are avocadoes for my toast.”
“I will ask,” he said, and winked.
I watched him leave and I sighed. I wasn’t sure if I just made the right decision, but I need to stop running away from a past that so far had stopped me from living.
19
Sarah
Joshua took longer than usual to settle down this morning, which meant he was hungry, so I changed his diaper again and gave him more.
Finally the little guy calmed down, and as I rocked him, his little eyes closed.
Cyrus came in and said “avocados,” which made me laugh. I’d never thought of food as code.
Now I’d eat my toast and hope no one around here thought I was difficult.
He stared at me as I put his son down, and I swear he was riveted on my ass. I shivered, convinced I didn’t deserve this attention. But I kept my mouth shut while I walked to him, with sparks zipping all through me.
Once I closed the door, so Joshua wasn’t waked up by sun, he said, “We’ll be at the island for dinner.”
Now I was near him, my skin was all jumpy with desire, but I avoided his gaze and said, “It will be nice to walk on land.”
“You don’t like the ship?” he asked as he held the door for me.
We went outside, where there was a table. The tea was there this time, without the coffee, and not as many options, which meant there'd be less uneaten waste.
I trekked to my seat, and my skin felt like ice cubes were running up and down my spine, cooling me off when I was burning.
I didn’t know what I’d say but I took my seat and waited for him to join me. Then I said, “No, I love it. And Joshua loves it, though I worry that he might be sleeping too much.”
He put his napkin on his lap, and I did the same as he said, “You worry about him. It’s why I brought you here.”
Right. This was work. I breathed easier. Work and helping my nephew settle into his new princely life.
I’d have to leave. Cyrus would find someone who truly loved him, so we’d never work out. I almost smiled as I said, “It’s easy with Joshua. His demands are clear and easy to fulfill.”
We added our favorite things to our toast, and I put cheese and avocados on mine.
Cyrus added walnuts to his, and I decided to top off my breakfast with walnuts, too.
My savored the deliciousness of this simple food and then said, “Well, he’s sleeping. And I’m starving.”
“Okay,” he said, and we both ate. He poured the tea, though I let mine cool down.
Once we were nearly done, I had gotten myself so wound up and torn about what to do that I couldn’t face him. My pulse quaked with longings, but then I asked, “Does the staff have secrets passages, or do they just creep around the outside of the ship so they won't disturb you?”
He laughed and shook his head. “They have their own paths throughout the ship, and their own private quarters.”
It would be nice to work for a rich man… I stopped the thought since I was already doing that, but temporarily. I sipped my delicious tea and then said, “You've taken to being a dad so easily.”
He gazed at me, and my gut twisted. I wanted what I shouldn’t have.
He nodded and said, “I’m glad you think so.” He gulped his tea and then asked, “After breakfast, do you want to dance?”
“No, that’s not good.” I said quickly.
The way he'd held me close and I stripped for him invaded my thoughts.
If he touched me, I’d forget my rules.
And that was bad.
He tilted his head and asked, “No?”
I gulped the tea. I had no right to have nice things like him, or this lovely, luxurious journey, and followed the logic of that, I said, “I think I should stay in and not get burned.”
He took a deep breath and stood. “I can show you the library.”
“You have a library?”
We walked back into the main room and stayed quiet to let the baby sleep uninterrupted. Then he walked me to a small room and opened the door.
His closeness peppered my skin with zaps of energy. I tried to avoid his gaze as he said, “Most of the options are digital now, so I can give you a reader, but we also have some regular books.”
I walked along, touching the book spines because I wasn’t sure what else to do. Then he straightened and said, “I… I’ll leave you alone.”
Fuck. The gleam in his eyes might be pain. I reached for his arm. Sparks raced through me as I asked, “What's wrong? Are you upset?”
He then looked down at me and asked, “How can you pretend nothing happened last night?”
My pulse pounded. He had no idea. I reached for my pendant—I forgot it! And wished with all my heart that I’d worn it while I said, “How can I… I can’t. I’m not thinking about anything but.”
He edged closer, and goose bumps flooded my skin when he said, “It doesn’t seem that way.”
My legs were like spaghetti, and I hoped he would understand what I meant when I said, “I can’t offer you more than just temporary.”
He put his hands on his hips and stared down at my lips when he shook his head and said, “I want the real thing.”
When he found out what I was really on the inside, he wouldn't say that.
But I couldn’t wait another second. Need blasted through me, so I pressed my lips to his.
He was all I’d ever want, and his kiss made me forget everything, including my good intentions.
20
Cyrus
My mind raced. This morning she pretended nothing had happened. Now she wanted a physical relationship.
Maybe I shouldn’t have followed her into the library. I might have been pushing too hard. So I backed up and opened the door.
She probably needed a minute, though she held me tighter in her embrace.
Leaving was harder every second.
Her special smell, the touch of her hands and lips, the feel of her skin, stormed my senses and made me hard as fuck.
But I refused to take what she hadn't offered willingly. So I held up my hand, creating distance from our last kiss, and said, “Come.”
Her eyes widened and seemed a bit teary-eyed when she asked, “We’re not?”
Heat rushed in my face and I squeezed her hand to reassure her as I said, “I want to make sure that you’re sure.”
She took a step to go with me.
Space was the only way to be sure, even though my hard-on still hurt a little.
We made it to the hall when she asked, “Where are we going?”
“To the solarium, sheereen-am,” I said as I walked her to a room below where we danced last night.
My skin prickled with nerves warring with desires while we walked down the small flight of stairs, and she said, “Okay, but remember, Joshua’s sleeping.”
Maybe that was the reason for her initial decision to not.
I’d have to understand and go take a cold shower if she said no, but I opened the door and said, “We’ll be close enough if he wakes up, and we have a 360-degree view of the ocean… and a couch.”
She crossed her arms and hesitated.
Being honorable was very, very difficult sometimes. I braced myself and said, “So you want to… see me.”
I lifted her hand to my mouth and kissed it while my heart hammered. “I don’t want to pressure you, so it’s important that you see and agree.”
“I want you, Handsome,” she said, and then hugged me tighter.
I’d waited for her and ached to have her. If she wanted me, I was hers.
21
Sarah
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Our lips met in a kiss and my pulse skyrocketed. When we came up for air, he whispered, “You’re gorgeous, Sarah.”
My skin felt electrified when I met his gaze. I wasn’t gorgeous, but one of the most wonderful things about Cyrus was that he believed it. I cupped his face and brushed against his slight stubble, saying, “The gleam in your eyes is hypnotic.”
Then our mouths met again. He took his time, like we were alone in the world with nowhere we needed to be, nothing we needed to do but explore each other. I stopped seeing the blue outside the glass windows and my body steamed.
My nipples hardened, and my clothes needed to go right now, but still I savored every long kiss and the way his body pressed against mine.
I ached for more, but stepped back, sucking on my bottom lip while I tugged my shirt off.
He did the same, and my breath halted when I tossed my shirt down. His muscles were even more glorious than I imagined. He reached for my waist, but I was uncomfortably hot, and I wanted to get rid of more barriers. So I unzipped my pants and tugged them down and off.
He did the same, but then hugged me against his steamy hot flesh and kissed me again.
How our lips and tongues sparred, and my temperature soared as blood flowed through me and awoke my core.
My hunger for him grew and my muscles tensed.
His hand traced me and stroked my breasts. My eyes fluttered while my body remembered last night.
Even my nipples seemed to swell.
I wanted him. And his mouth skimmed lower, nibbling my chin and then my neck.
Fire burned through me, and when he reached behind me, I wiggled to help him while he slipped my bra off.
He stopped and asked, “Do you trust me?”
My heart fluttered. I wish I trusted completely. He was amazing. My nipples tightened under his gaze, and excitement gripped me.
I nodded and said, “I want to trust you.”
He cupped my breasts and focused his full attention on them. My soul stirred because he hadn’t pressured me or gone off in a huff because I couldn’t—or wouldn't—give him what he wanted.
Handsome Page 9
