know, you remind me of another guy my father recruited, his name was Paul.
Simon's turns white as a ghost as all the blood rushes from his face.
SIMON
What is going on here? Am I dead?
XAVIER
No, you're just experiencing unmerited divine mercy. Listen carefully, Simon, because right now your life needs to change!
Xavier throws his arm around Simon and walks with him.
CUT TO:
EXT: BOARDWALK.
Kenny weaves in and out of groups of people while trying to lose Numbers. He stumbles into a barricade of Police officers and blinking sawhorses blocking the sidewalk and streets. Kenny is panting while leaning on a sawhorse.
POLICE OFFICER
Excuse me, son.
Kenny notices the officer speaking to him.
KENNY
Hey, I need to get through here. My car is parked in one of those parking lots ahead.
POLICE OFFICER
Nope. This is the beginning of the designated blast zone as appointed by authorities. The zone stretches for the remainder of the block. The students predict a small shower of seawater, and sand to sprinkle down onto the street. They don't want anyone getting hurt by the possibility of other falling debris. You need to wait until the morning. Sorry.
KENNY
How long until the blast?
POLICE OFFICER
About fifteen minutes.
Kenny turns and sees Numbers pushing through the crowd looking for him. Kenny frantically looks around for somewhere to go. He notices a church squeezed between a bar and a nightclub with a narrow alley on one side. The neon light outside the building flickers.
INSERT: NEON LIGHT
"God is near, he is in here!"
BACK TO SCENE
Kenny scurries into the church.
CUT TO:
EXT: BEACH.
The tide slowly washes in as police clear spectators to a reasonable distance from the whale. Fifty yards of wire connect the whale to a detonator.
Brother Hector screams at the college students as an officer attempts to hold him back. The news crew sets up for another live broadcast.
BROTHER HECTOR
This is murder! Leave my brother whale alone!
Brother Hector turns to a few of his followers.
BROTHER HECTOR
Are you ready to prove your worth to the Seaside Beaches Coalition? If so, then follow me my brothers!
Brother Hector points towards a group of people across the beach and yells at the cop in front of him.
BROTHER HECTOR
Look, over there, it's Jesus!
The officer looks briefly.
Suddenly, Brother Hector rushes from the barricade followed by a few of his fellow coalition members. The officer chases them down and tackles one of them. Other officers close in on the chase. Brother Hector piles onto the officer and coalition member and unholsters the officer's gun. He waves it around wildly.
CUT TO:
INT: CHURCH.
As soon as Kenny enters, everyone turns and watches him.
All the pews are nearly full and everyone is black. An evangelist stands at the podium and motions for Kenny to come in. The evangelist is REVERAND TOMMIE CARMICHAEL.
The banner hanging behind him says so.
TOMMIE
Are you lost brother? Well, you have come to the right place. Have a seat and listen to the good words of the Lord. You are safe here.
Kenny squeezes himself into the edge of a pew next to a large woman in bright pink. She smiles pleasantly at him. Kenny smiles back and watches the Reverend.
TOMMIE
(fiery sermon)
And after they cast lots, they threw Jonah into the ocean and he sank down to the deep. And that great fish that God had prepared swallowed up Jonah. In the belly of the giant fish was he three days and three nights. And in the belly of the fish he prayed. He prayed to the almighty! He prayed for his life! He knew he had made a mistake, A TERRIBLE MISTAKE and needed God to help him. His life was in peril! Do we need our lives to be in peril for us to finally approach the Lord and pray for help? People, we make dozens of mistakes every day, some of them little and some of them TERRIBLE! It isn't about trying to be perfect, because you will never attain perfection. But, rather, being mindful of the mistakes you make and revising your actions and thoughts so that you do not fall into the same hole twice! God is merciful, folks! He is waiting for YOU.
The entire congregation shouts out, "hallelujah!" Kenny listens in awe and screams aloud out of unison.
KENNY
Hallelujah!
Everyone looks at him again and then at the door as Numbers stumbles into the church.
TOMMIE
Oh my, we have all kinds of lost souls finding the Lord on this blessed Saturday night mass! Have a seat my weary and troubled friend as I finish my account of Jonah and the big fish.
Numbers looks around and notices the single white person, Kenny, in the room. Numbers stuffs himself into a pew full of kids.
CUT TO:
EXT: BEACH.
Shauna Sparks rubs lipstick off her teeth while she stands in front of the camera with the microphone. Her cameraman points to her.
Behind her, Brother Hector nervously wields a gun. He is sweating and shaking.
SHAUNA
Good evening, Seaside. This is your very own Shauna Sparks reporting live, once again, from the whale blast zone. Things have gone from bad to worse as one of the protesters has pulled a gun on police with only five minutes until the explosion. He is demanding the release of the whale or he will open fire.
Brother Hector hops in front of the camera.
BROTHER HECTOR
This is fucking murder!
Behind him, a police officer creeps up and wrestles the gun from his hand. Brother Hector panics and fires a shot into the air. The officer backs off. A flock of six Pelicans fly off of a series of wooden posts out in the ocean. They take flight over head.
BROTHER HECTOR
You thought I couldn't do it, huh? I will shoot! Just stay away and nobody will get hurt! Now…
A pile of CREAMY bird crap SPLATTERS down on Brother Hector's face. He stumbles in the sand for a second and shoots off a couple of rounds into the air. A loud SQUAWK bellows from one of the Pelicans up above as it is hit. The giant bird goes into a tailspin and hurdles down toward the edge of the crowd. It SLAMS into Dolph.
Dolph lunges forward and the remote for the detonator flops out of his hand.
CUT TO:
INT: CHURCH.
TOMMIE
In closing, all I ask is that you be honest with yourself and with God. He will not let you down. Just seek him FIRST. Have a good night. And oh yes, don't forget about the Lake of Fire chili cook-off this weekend!
Kenny pushes through all the people as they give the evangelist a standing ovation. He slides out a side door of the church. Numbers pursues him.
CUT TO:
EXT: ALLEY.
Kenny scrambles into the alley and looks around. To his right is the swarm of people on the street. To his left, is a chain-linked fence leading to the beach. He scales the fence and hops down onto the sand on the other side.
Numbers is still in pursuit.
CUT TO:
EXT: BEACH.
Kenny tries to run through the sand but staggers to a lull. He tears his shoes off his feet and throws them at Numbers. Numbers bats them away.
CUT TO:
EXT: BEACH.
The detonator lands face down on the sand and makes a loud, long BLEEEEEEEP.
Suddenly, all the charges attached to the whale explode. One blinding white burst after another. The top of the whale leaves the sandy floor of the beach in a few large indistinguishable pieces. The entire crowd stands watching in complete awe as the bright reflection of the explosion illuminates their faces. A forceful blast of sand and water hits them and they all stumble back into the sand.
CUT T
O:
EXT: BEACH.
About one hundred yards south, is the whale explosion.
Numbers and Kenny shield their faces from a spray of sand. Numbers claws the sand from his eyes. Kenny crawls away while coughing and gagging.
CUT TO:
EXT: JACKSON'S HOUSE.
Earl sips a can of beer while transfixed on the television. He watches a baseball game through the glass sliding door. He pokes at the burning charcoals with a big fork. Shonda slides the door open and comes out. She is on the telephone with her sister.
SHONDA
(to her sister)
So, they found the girl taped to the plumbing under the kitchen sink? How'd she contact the police?
The reception on the television becomes distorted.
EARL
Oh, damn satellite television. Honey, will you please throw that London broil on the grill while I fix the tv.
Earl marches inside and smacks the television a few times. Shonda follows him inside and closes the door.
She doesn't hear his request because she is too involved in her phone gossip. She watches him as he continues to mess with the television.
SHONDA
Thank the lord in heaven the dog was wearing his tags or else they wouldn't have found her. I'll bet she was all hopped up on that cocaine that these kids are doing these days.
Neither Shonda or Earl pay attention to the barbecue.
Suddenly, a large blubbery slab of whale meat drops down from the sky onto the grill and begins SIZZLING. Some other pieces of guts land in the tree. The television returns to normal
Have Some Guts Page 10
