by A. M. Wilson
I think back to the beginning of all this to the beaten and broken woman. To the trauma flipping on like a switch and shutting her down in an instant. To the recovery from drugs and the healing from physical pain. The small smiles and sadness fading from her eyes. The strength. The bravery. The slow, agonizing climb.
Each day is a step in the right direction with new information.
I’m more prepared than ever.
In some ways, I’ve found a weakness in Gutierrez’s operation.
Cold, hard information.
And I’m not going to let it go to waste.
Looking at the passenger beside me, her hair blowing with the wind from the cracked window, a slightly troubled expression on her face, I know down to the marrow of my bones that I won’t rest until this is over.
It started with my sister.
It continues with Shelby.
And I will pick them up one by one until there’s nobody left.
Chapter Sixteen
Shelby
Somewhere between the highway and home, I fell asleep. Not just a light doze, no. I passed out and did it hard. I woke up and found myself on Alex’s couch. I look at the windows, the curtains open, something Alex has done since the first time I asked him to leave them, and see the orange glow of streetlights. Which means I’ve been asleep for hours.
I shouldn’t be surprised. Today wasn’t traumatic as much as it was long and tension-filled. Three hours in the car plus an hour of fighting back panic will take it out of a person.
What does surprise me is being on the couch. An argument not too long ago of Alex finding me here, and getting angry about it, replays. So why leave me here to sleep when the bed is steps away? And where is Alex, anyway?
Throwing off the blanket he generously put over me, I swing my legs over the side of the couch. Somewhere along the way, he took off my shoes and socks, but my jeans are uncomfortable and twisted from sleep. I wander sleepily into the bedroom, to the closet, tug off my jeans and swap out my shirt for one of Alex’s tees. As I pull the material over my head, I hear the sound of the shower switching off from the master bathroom. I can’t deny that my heart quiets just a tiny bit knowing he’s close, and I’m not alone.
I slip back into his bedroom, intent to sit on the bed and wait for him to finish his shower, but as I enter, I’m struck by silence. I pad silently to his bed and glance down the short hall to the bathroom. The door is slightly ajar, and I can see Alex.
I can see Alex.
Oh holy hell.
My mouth waters as I take him in, from his damp, black hair, his chiseled back, his towel encased ass, to his bare feet. His torso and skin, awash in colorful ink, lined with deep cuts of muscles. His biceps drawn tight as his hands grip the edge of the vanity. I watch as droplets of water drip from his damp hair, down his neck, running down the valleys and dips of his back, and I have the urge to chase each one with my tongue, stopping their decent before they disappear beneath his towel. The towel, which is hiding what I assume to be a beautiful ass, judging by the rest of his sculpted body. From the reflection of the mirror, his head is dipped, but I can see his chest and abs reflect the same meticulous cuts of muscle, which are only achieved by hours of working out in the gym. Droplets of water cling to his body like morning dew.
My panties are growing increasingly damp. I’m alarmed at how quickly I’m being turned on by my little voyeur act. I should feel perverted; Instead, I rub my thighs together as I watch his reflection. I came here to wait for him so we can sleep, but now that I’ve stumbled upon this, I can’t seem to find it within myself to make my presence known. There is something so hot, so erotic, and even freeing, about watching him without him knowing I’m here.
I slowly lower myself until I’m sitting at the edge of his bed. I can’t look away. And the truth is, I absolutely don’t want to.
Sucking in a sharp breath of air, I clap my hand over my mouth to stifle the sound. Because at that moment, Alex loosened and dropped the towel, which was draped around his hips. Not only does this give me the perfect view of his tight, muscular ass, but in the reflection of the mirror, my eyes lock onto his rock hard erection.
My heart beat kicks up double time, knowing I should leave, but I can’t look away. I watch as he takes his cock in his hand, tightly wrapping his fist around himself. He strokes upward toward the head, slightly twisting his fist when he nears the end, then drags it back down. Slowly up, back down. Repeat. Entirely unaware that I’m mere feet away, watching the entire show.
His pace quickens, the muscles of his ass tightening as he thrusts himself farther, faster, harder into his hand. And I can’t take it anymore. My hormones grip me so tightly, I drop my hand from my mouth and slither my palm over my breasts, taking a moment to squeeze each one and pinch my nipples into stiff points. Wanting to feel more, I grip the hem of Alex’s tee shirt and tuck it beneath my chin, exposing my breasts to the chilly air. As the ache between my legs nears unbearable, I slip my hand down my belly and skate my fingers through the wetness between my folds. Lifting my heels and resting them on the edge of the bed, I coat my fingers with my arousal. I draw the wetness up to lubricate my clit and focus on rubbing myself there. Slowly at first, then working myself up to match the pace of his thrusts as he jerks himself off in his bathroom. I bite my cheek hard to contain the moan burning low in my throat.
Alex’s hips pump and the grunts and groans he’s emitting only spur me on further. His eyes are closed, his brows pinched tight as his mouth hangs slightly open. I can hear his quick, harsh breathing from the bedroom. He quietly moans my name and picks up his pace. It’s all the affirmation I need that I’m doing the right thing by pushing him into having me. I need him to have me. All of me.
I tip my head back, keeping my eyes trained on his cock. Using one hand, I pull my panties all the way off to the side, entirely exposing my pussy, and with the other, I glide two fingers inside. I can feel myself clench. I’ve never had an orgasm before, but I’m on the right track. I can feel it. Just a little bit longer, and maybe I can finish.
His grunts become louder, his breathing faster as he tightly squeezes the purple head of his cock in his fist. His hips thrust in a galloping rhythm, and my hand works inside me, fingering myself to match his pace. As his body stiffens, my body shatters into a million pieces, a scream tears from my throat, and I have no control left to stop it. I did it. I’m coming, and I can’t seem to stop as I release another breathy moan.
Alex’s eyes snap to mine, our gaze locking in the mirror as my orgasm rolls over me, my body shudders, and I watch as his cock jerks, spilling his cum all over his hand and the sink before him. This is a staring contest I’m not about to lose, even as his eyes darken lustfully to nearly black.
“Shelby,” he growls deeply, the sound awakening my body once more even though I’ve just come. I watch as his heated gaze travels the length of my body perched on his bed. My flushed cheeks, breasts swollen with bright red nipples still hard with arousal, down my abdomen until his eyes lock onto my exposed pussy, which I can feel is slick with my come.
“God, Shel, I’m sorry. I couldn’t…I tried so hard not to. To not be like those men who use you in their minds.”
“You are nothing like those men,” I whisper vehemently. I lift my hips and pull my panties down my legs. “I want you to watch me.”
In several long strides, he’s standing in front of me, his hand wrapping around the base of my skull and his face mere inches from mine.
“I really want to bury my face between your legs until you’re screaming, but I can wait. Need you to show me what you just did. Up close, baby.” In one swift move, he’s dropping to his knees, and his lips touch my inner thigh.
I comply, looking into dark eyes as I pump my fingers inside myself.
“God, baby. So fucking good.”
That tension in my lower abdomen is building again, but this time, I don’t want to bring myself there.
“Touch me. Please, I’m beg
ging you. Put your fingers inside me. Make me come again.”
“Fuck,” he growls and buries his face in my thigh.
I pull my fingers from myself, instantly wanting to mourn the loss of pleasure, and reach out for him. “Make me feel good, Alex.”
He snatches my wrist so fast I startle and sucks my index finger into his mouth. His eyes close, and he moans.
“Put me in you, Shelby. Guide me home.”
His words bring a burst of pleasure, and I immediately comply. I try not to be self-conscious as I tug his hand toward me and place his palm over my damp center.
“One or two,” he growls.
I don’t get it. But then he presses the knuckles of one finger against my pussy and repeats it with two. “One or two?”
“Two. I want as much of you as I can handle.”
He pumps his fingers into me, and I’m unable to speak anymore because by the fourth stroke, my body is splintering again, a bright white light blinding my vision from the sheer power of my orgasm. This time, I let myself scream his name while my body shudders in his arms.
“Come again so soon? You’re a naughty fucking girl, aren’t you, Shelby?” he coaxes me, as he continues to pleasure my body. I’m helpless except to hold on for the ride. My body feels exquisite in his arms, my nails clenching into his shoulders for purchase, my legs thrashing against his sides while he works his magic with his hand. The dirty words he’s whispering have another orgasm building within minutes. It feels impossible. I’ve never had an orgasm before this, and now I’ve had two, but evidently with Alex, sex is something he’s really, really good at.
“Did you like watching me jerk myself off? Answer me.”
“Mm-hmm,” I moan as he hits that sweet spot over and over again.
“I was thinking about touching you. My fantasy was nothing compared to this.”
I think I whimper through the pleasure.
“You’re going to come again for me, aren’t you, my sweet dirty girl? Give it to me.”
For the third time, an orgasm tears through me, this time without much warning. It’s like his words were my release and my body let go on his command. Through my tremors and shudders, I hear him groan. His thumb brushes my clit one last time before his hand slows and stops completely. The loss of him sends an ache through me as he withdraws his fingers. Looking between the valley of my spread legs, I catch him tuck his two wet digits into his mouth as he stares at me hotly. I collapse on the bed with a groan, panting and trying to slow my racing heart.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he whispers against the crease of my thigh. He burrows his face deeper as he lightly drops kisses against my sweat-dampened skin. I’m too wrecked to speak. He just took my body to heights I never knew existed, and I’m paralyzed from pleasure. My limbs are heavy, sated, and I let my eyelids droop, powerless to stop them.
You have that backward, I want to tell him, you’re going to be the death of me.
The bed dips, and then I’m airborne, startling my eyes open. Alex cradles me to his bare chest and settles me on the pillows.
“Let me get some pants on, and I’ll be right back.” He disappears into the hallway, gracing me with his beautifully naked backside. Moments later, he returns with a two-liter of pop and a pizza box.
“You must be a magician.” I raise an eyebrow at him as he sets the items on the bed. I don’t waste any time flipping open the lid and snagging a slice.
“Not quite,” he answers from the closet. When he returns, he’s got a nice pair of gray sweats low on his hips. These look good, but I wouldn’t mind him being naked just a bit longer.
“You just interrupted my plan with one of your own.” He smirks at me when he catches me staring.
“I woke up, and I was lonely,” I answer shyly. Alex joins me on the bed and nudges me with his shoulder before taking his own slice.
“I only meant to leave you for ten minutes, fifteen tops. I ordered the pizza while you were asleep on our drive home. I left you on the couch so that I could wake you to eat. I didn’t want you going to bed hungry.”
I toss my mangled crust back into the box. “I wondered why you left me on the couch. I thought you had a rule about me sleeping there.”
“I do,” he responds instantly. “I want you with me.”
His dark eyes capture mine and I search them, wondering, hoping if this all means what I think it means.
I’m the first to look away as I take another slice. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“Well, not so much a question…” I trail off, unsure how to continue.
“Shelby.” His voice is low and immediately pulls my attention to him. “Just say what’s on your mind.”
“Right.” I take a bite and wait until I’ve finished chewing. “I want to help my friends. Those other girls. I can’t stop thinking about them. I don’t want to put you or Elias out any more than I already have, but I don’t know how I’m just supposed to move on and leave them behind. I don’t think I can.” I take another bite and toss my wasted crust.
“Things have been wonderful lately. I feel stronger. I’m less afraid. Knowing things I do now, I don’t think I can pretend they don’t exist because, for the better part of two years, they’re all I had.”
“You’re my number one priority,” he states.
“But—”
“That means that I’m going to do whatever I can to get you what you need.”
“I don’t understand.”
“If you need to help those girls as part of your healin’, then I’m going to do what I can to help you with that. But Shelby, make no mistake. It’s going to be fuckin’ dangerous.”
I swallow hard at the implication. What’s worth more? I don’t know if I were pressed to choose that I could make that choice. How can I not help the women who are where I used to be? But how do I risk the man I love to do it?
Chapter Seventeen
Sin
“Yo! Quit with the nookie in the corner and grab me a drink. Your pop taught you better than that!” Earl’s voice rings loud above the music in the bar.
I cut him an irritated glance over my shoulder, keeping my hands tight to Shelby’s waist.
“We’re havin’ a discussion. You’ll have to wait,” I bark.
As I turn back around, I catch Elias seated at the corner, watching us with a question on his face. I suppose we look damn cozy compared to any other time he’s seen the two of us together. My shoulders tense as old insults I spewed flit through my mind. Okay, yeah, his confusion makes sense.
But can he really blame me?
I wouldn’t if things went the other way. That’s not a thought I want to allow into my mind. Now or ever fucking again.
Shelby’s giggle brings my attention back around.
“What’s funny?”
She quirks an eyebrow. “You.”
“How the fuck am I funny?”
She laughs harder at my stern tone before she sobers. “I used to be afraid of you.”
Ah, hell. Her admission is like a punch to the gut.
Seeing my face, she amends. “Not that you’d hurt me. You just speak so unfiltered; I never knew what you’d say next. Now,” she lifts a shoulder and shrugs, “I can see there was never anything to fear.”
“Oh, really?” I taunt, leaning in close so our noses nearly touch. “I think you should still be plenty afraid.”
Her eyes drop to my lips. “Why?”
I lower my voice. “Because I want to do things to you.” My tongue touches my lower lip. “Unspeakable, dirty things.”
The music and voices drown out her sound, but I swear she whimpers.
And fuck, do my balls ache just thinking of all the things I want to do. Her pussy was an appetizer, and I’m ready for the main course. The question is whether or not she’s ready. It’s been two weeks since I had a taste, and we’ve taken it slow at my insistence. I hold her at night while she sleeps in my bed, and her thighs crad
le mine on the back of my bike. I take her pretty mouth every chance I can, and we’ve done the heavy petting, but that’s as far as things have progressed.
I’m an experienced man. I’ve fucked my fair share of women. But that’s not who Shelby is or who we ever will be together.
She’s not just some pussy.
A faceless girl.
She’s becoming my whole entire world wrapped in a beautiful bow.
And if that means I have to wait to experience all she has to offer, I’d wait a damn near decade if I had to.
Because I’d rather take my own life than ever make her feel what those motherfuckers made her feel. If for one second, we start to go down that path, I would never forgive myself for putting her there.
I’d spend eternity in hell.
I brush my thumb over her puckered pout and quickly replace it with my lips before pulling away.
“Duty calls. Don’t go far.”
“Hey!” Her hand in mine jerks me back. “Let me get that.”
“You don’t have to serve old Earl. He’s practically able to get it himself.”
“I heard that, and I’ll have you know that I’m still a paying customer, even after all these years,” he barks back.
I cough out a short laugh. We both know he gets more booze for free than anyone in here except for Bill.
“Don’t give him a hard time, Alex. He’s one of my favorite customers,” Shelby chimes in. She slinks around me and sways her hips all the way to the counter.
If I didn’t know her as well as I do, I’d say it was intentional. Regardless, the show has me fighting getting hard.
I survey the other men around the bar, making sure they aren’t enjoying her more than they should be. She doesn’t appear to be on the receiving end of any lewd stares. I’m just glad I’m on the only one with a view from the back.
Since there’s a lull in the evening, not unusual for a Tuesday, I approach Elias in his dark corner.
“Been here long?”
“Long enough,” he returns.
