Outcast

by Guerin Zand

  “You have to understand, Milly, we don’t have your abilities. We can’t just immobilize the Alacians and ship them back home. If we have to handle this on our own, then our response is limited to the capabilities we have. If you have a problem with us using force, then give us the ability to remove them without force.”

  “Are you testing us again, Guerin? That’s what you did in the Chinese crisis wasn’t it?”

  “I’m testing you? Please. I’m the one being tested as usual.”

  “Don’t avoid my question. You basically threatened to allow a nuclear exchange to occur on Earth in order to force the Council’s hand and force us to give you the power to stop the Chinese in the last crisis. Are you doing the same thing here? Are you asking, in your usual subtle way, that we grant you those powers? To give you the knowledge you need to solve this without force?”

  “Come on, Milly, whose being paranoid now?” I went back to my meal, which was getting cold with all this talk. This wasn’t a date. This was a negotiation with the Council. Milly was sitting there with a straight face accusing me of trying to play them. If that wasn’t the pot calling the kettle black, I don’t know what was.

  “You have to understand our position, Guerin. We went through something similar with Heesa. He turned that power and knowledge against us.”

  I swallowed the mouthful of perfectly cooked beef and washed it down with the last of my drink. The staff was quick to bring me a refill. I thanked the waiter and looked back at Milly.

  “You may not believe this, Milly, but I think I understand what happened with Heesa better than you do. I think you’re all too arrogant to admit that it was you that caused Heesa to turn against you. You pushed him just like you’re doing with me.”

  “You asked me why I ran off after killing Heesa. I did it because I was not in the mood to have you judge me and send me off to some re-education camp. You know, like you sent me to Gitmo the last time? If I had to come back to that, I might have just lost it.”

  “You seriously thought that?”

  “Yes, but I also wanted to see this universe. I had only the limited information you gave me to form my opinions. When you abducted me, I was so excited about getting out here and seeing all the interesting worlds. I wanted to set foot on an alien world and smell the alien air. Instead, I spent all of my time on your IKEA furnished spaceships. When I first set foot on Trinix, I was so happy. I mean really happy. Like I was before Anna died.”

  “I never knew you felt that way, Guerin.”

  “How could you not? Did I not complain enough?” That made Milly laugh. “The first thing I wanted to do here was go play in the Nebula, remember?” Milly nodded. “You also can’t deny that the two of us were happiest when you visited me on Earth, away from all of this bullshit. You send Stella to have her little talks with me, to get me back under control, instead of just taking the time to try and understand how I’m feeling. I think you probably treated Heesa the same way, and it blew up in your face. Why is it that I have to explain this to what are supposed to be the most intelligent beings in the universe?”

  Milly just shrugged her shoulder and gave me one of those dumb alien looks of hers. I think I finally had her speechless, I mean outside of bed.

  “I need to think about what you’ve said. Perhaps we have misjudged the situation. I’ll discuss this with others on the committee and the Council. We can talk about this more before you leave for Ganymede.”

  We finished our dinners and the waiters came and cleared our plates from the table. Sarah walked over to check on us.

  “So how was your dinner, Guerin?”

  “It was fantastic. I hope you're taking good care of the chef. You don’t want to lose him.”

  “Oh, he’s quite happy, Guerin.”

  “I bet he is,” I said with my devilish grin. I was remembering what the hot space babe across the table from me did to get me to work for her. I was pretty sure the chef had similar motivations.

  “So, how about dessert. We have your favorite chocolate soufflé, but if you’re up for something different, might I suggest the Toxic Chocolate dessert.”

  “Ok, I’ll bite. What’s the Toxic Chocolate dessert?”

  “Pretty much what it sounds like. It’s just chocolate and more chocolate. It starts with a fudge brownie with a layer of chocolate syrup on top. Then a layer of chocolate mousse, again topped with more chocolate sauce. On top of that...”

  “Ok Sarah. I get the point. I’ll go with that.”

  “It’s best shared, since it literally is almost a toxic dose of chocolate.”

  “Milly?” I asked.

  “Ok. It sounds good to me.”

  Sarah walked off to the kitchen to put in our order. Milly smiled at me and said, “Let’s talk about something not work-related.”

  “Ok.”

  “What’s going on between you and Cindy?”

  “I think that’s more complicated than what we were just talking about.”

  “What’s so complicated about it? Do you have feelings for her or not?”

  “I don’t know if I feel comfortable talking about this with you.”

  “Do you think I’m jealous?”

  “You used to be.”

  “I was never jealous.”

  “Oh come on, Milly. You turned all shades of she-devil when I rescued the twins and suggested I bring them back with me to Earth for their re-education.”

  “I wasn’t jealous. I was concerned for the twins.”

  “Right!”

  Sarah interrupted us to deliver the Toxic Chocolate dessert. It looked like everything chocolate you could imagine in a series of layers. Even both of us weren’t going to finish that thing. She placed the monstrosity in the middle of the table.

  “I hope I’m not interrupting.”

  “Not at all, Sarah. Actually, you could probably help. Milly says she’s never been jealous of me and other women. Now I’ll admit, I have flirted with you on a few occasions. Can you say that it didn’t make her jealous?”

  Sarah smiled. “I probably shouldn’t get involved, Guerin.”

  “That’s because I’m right.”

  “You are not. You don’t understand Bree women at all, Guerin.”

  “I was going to spend some time on that later tonight, Milly. Right after I finished figuring out how to make a star go boom. I’ve always wanted to blow up a star.”

  “Your such an asshole.”

  “Maybe you guys should save this discussion for after dessert. The ice cream is going to melt.”

  “You’re right, Sarah. We don’t want this dessert to go to waste. Thank you.”

  “Anytime, Guerin.” Sarah gave me that bad girl smile of hers. She decided to add a little fuel to the fire. I, of course, returned the gesture. Milly rolled her eyes.

  I grabbed a spoonful of our desert. “See!”

  “What?”

  I took my first taste of the dessert. It was really good. I swallowed and looked at Milly who was getting her first taste of this ridiculous treat. “The way you rolled your eyes at the two of us when we flirted there. Don’t tell me you don’t get jealous.”

  “Please.” She finished swallowing her mouthful of chocolate. “Wow! That is really good.”

  “I know.”

  We both stopped talking while we attacked the pile of chocolate in between us. It was addictive. We were both making strange noises as we devoured the dessert. It sounded a lot like when we were having sex. We both started laughing. We could only imagine what the other diners were thinking. It was a lot like that scene in the movie When Harry Met Sally, except neither one of us was faking it. We didn’t even make it halfway through the dessert before we both couldn’t take it anymore. It was a lot like having sex now that I think about it.

  I took a sip of the coffee Sarah had brought me. Milly sipped her tea, and we both sat back in a chocolate stupor.

  Milly decided to get back to her original question that had started our little argument. “
So, are you going to tell me or not, Guerin?”

  “What?” Yes, I fell back to what I am generally known best for. Playing dumb.

  “Don’t give me that. Do you have feelings for Cindy or not?”

  “Are you jealous?”

  “Don’t start that again.”

  “You started it. Can’t you just admit that you’re at least a bit jealous?”

  “No!”

  “From your tone, it’s obvious that you are.”

  “Whatever. Just answer my question.”

  “What kind of woman asks a guy out on a date to talk about another woman?”

  “Stop avoiding the question, Guerin.”

  “What do you want me to say? Sure, I care for her. She’s always been very nice to me. She doesn’t insult me and call me names like some other women I know.”

  “Then why did you treat her the way you did?”

  “Honestly, Milly, I don’t know why she got so upset. We had a fun night and we both went back to my quarters for a drink. I mean it’s not my fault she’s so hot. We started kissing and I was in the mood, so I made my move. It’s not like I attacked her.”

  “Your move? Seriously, Guerin?”

  “Yes?”

  “Listen, Guerin. Your ‘move’ may work on bar sluts and former sex slaves, but it is not at all appropriate when you’re dealing with young Bree woman.”

  “First off, I’ve never used my ‘move’ on any former sex slaves. If you’d like, I can share a memory of my time with the twins, and you can see that I was the one who was moved on.”

  “Whatever, Guerin. That really won’t be necessary.”

  “See, you are jealous.” Milly simply sighed. “I may have used my ‘move’ on a few bar sluts, but I was usually pretty drunk at those times, so I can’t say for sure. I do believe that I used that ‘move’ on you, and if I remember correctly, it not only worked, but you enjoyed it.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Really? I could have sworn I did. I’ll have to check my notes.”

  “Your notes?”

  “Yea. Remember, I took notes back then for my book.”

  “You took notes while we were having sex?”

  “Not while we were having sex. What’s wrong with you? That would have been a little awkward. I jotted down my notes afterward, while you were sleeping.”

  “I can’t believe you did that!”

  “What? Oh, I’m the bad guy? You pervs dump videos of me on the morning news, make them available on the stream, and I’m the bad guy? Oh, don’t even go there.”

  “Let’s get back to what an asshole you were to Cindy.”

  “I don’t think I was. I’m not sure what she thought, but usually, it was her trying to put the moves on me. She’s had a crush on me since she was a young girl working on Sammy’s shuttle. The first time I brought my team up to the shuttle she had her hands all over me, and I behaved. I don’t see why she got so upset the other night.”

  “Well, she’s not a little girl anymore, Guerin, and perhaps you should stop acting like a little boy!”

  “Whatever, Milly. Why are we talking about this? I thought this was supposed to be a date.”

  “You know, Guerin, you’ve always surprised us with your ability to figure things out on your own, without any real idea what you were talking about, but you totally missed the most obvious thing.”

  “Oh, yea? What’s that?”

  “You never noticed that there are more Bree women than men wherever you go?”

  “I noticed. I figured that you just did that to distract me and get me to do your dirty work.”

  “You’re such an idiot. No, that’s not why. On Earth, the ratio of men to women is about even. Among the Bree, the women have always outnumbered the men by close to 3 to 1. It’s been that way throughout our history.”

  “Oh my God! How could I have been so stupid? You came to Earth for the men.”

  “That’s right. Our secret’s out now.” I smiled my victory smile. “You’re such an asshole. I swear. That’s not why we came to Earth, you idiot. We’ve explained why several times before. If you’d just shut up and listen, you might learn something.”

  “Ok.”

  “So, on Earth you’ve evolved with the idea of monogamous relationships between men and women. This has been reinforced by various religions, customs, and cultures throughout human history.”

  “There are a few exceptions.”

  “There always are, but do you mind if I finish?”

  “Go ahead.”

  “In Bree society, we have always had this disparity in the number of men to women. Like human society, our society evolved with this ratio, and in our case, it dictated that males would have multiple spouses. Even when we had advanced to a stage where we could have corrected this through genetic engineering, we didn’t. It was ingrained in our way of life and we saw no reason to change.”

  “So the men liked it that way. I get it.”

  “Stop! I don’t know why I’m bothering.”

  “Don’t be that way. You had 200 years to work on your sense of humor, Milly, but I guess you couldn’t be bothered with that, huh?”

  That finally got a laugh out of her. I signaled to our waiter to bring us a couple more drinks.

  “Drink up, Milly. I’m sure the story gets funnier with a little help.”

  “As I was saying, it’s normal for Bree men to have multiple spouses, but as we advanced the women also began to have multiple spouses over their lifetime. When we had similar problems to Earth with population control, we decided that each man and woman could only produce one successor of the same sex. So a man can have all the daughters he wants with multiple women, but once he has a son, he is no longer allowed to have another child. Of course, if that son is lost due to some accident, the father can have another. Similarly, each woman can give birth to multiple sons, but after her first daughter is born, she cannot have any more children.”

  “Let me say, from the human perspective, this is all way too confusing. Why can’t you just select the sex of your children? Even us dumb humans have found ways to do that.”

  “We don’t select the sex because there’s no reason to. We like the way our society is structured, and it all works out in the end. If you take the time to think it through, Guerin, you’ll understand. The population remains pretty much constant, and the ratio of men to women remains the same.”

  “Ok, but I’m not sure why you think this little piece of knowledge is so important to share with me.”

  “Of course you wouldn’t.” This time Milly slammed down her drink and ordered us a couple more.

  “So, you want me to take on multiple Bree spouses, and you want to start seeing other men?”

  “I can’t believe you’re making this so difficult.”

  “I’m sorry, Milly. If you’re trying to say you want to move on, I get it. I just don’t understand why you have to include a lesson on Bree mating habits.”

  “Just shut up! There’s more, ok?”

  I just held my hands up in surrender. I’ve had women dump me before, but Milly was definitely the worst at this. She seemed to be enjoying herself though, so I let her continue.

  “If Anna was still alive, and she had agreed to the modifications, what do you think would have happened? How long do you think the two of you would have remained together? One hundred years? Five hundred? A thousand?”

  “I’d assume we would have remained together for as long as we both lived.”

  “Really? Do you think that Anna would never want to move on? Let’s say you worked together. We’re talking a long time for you both to be interested in the same thing. Eventually, your pursuits would take you in different directions. You’d always love her, Guerin, but staying together for thousands of years is not very realistic. That’s just one of your human fairy tales.”

  “See, your system of monogamy works fine when your lifespans are so short that you barely raise your children before your time is
up. Even now, it’s quite common for a human couple’s interests to diverge over time, and their marriages end in divorce. As human life spans increase this is going to become more of the norm, and you are going to have to deal with that.”

  “Human relationships are going to undergo a fundamental change at some point in the near future. The concepts of marriage and divorce will probably become things of the past.”

  I just sat there. I didn’t want to interrupt again. I still was totally lost as to why she was wasting my limited mental abilities with all of this useless information.

  “You still don’t get it?”

  “Are you finally done?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then, yes. I still don’t get it. Is there a moral to this story, some point you’re trying to make?”

  “Are you just trying to play dumb or is this one of those cases where you really are that dumb?”

  I just shook my head, you know, that, “I don’t know shake”. I was pretty sure there wasn’t a good answer to the question.

  “You have to change your thinking when it comes to relationships with women, Guerin.”

  “Because Cindy didn’t like my ‘move’? I mean we were talking about Cindy, weren’t we?”

  “You can’t be that stupid.”

  “Do you know how many times I’ve outsmarted you Bree geniuses because you underestimate my ability to be that stupid? I pretty much can count on my stupidity outsmarting you morons every time. How do you think I got to Heesa without you knowing it? It was because you and the rest of the geniuses thought I wasn’t stupid enough to try something like that. Hell, Bart and Gladys couldn’t believe I was that stupid as they watched me do it! It probably was Heesa’s big mistake as well. So don’t tell me I’m not that stupid!”

  Milly started laughing uncontrollably. I just grabbed my drink and emptied the glass. I let her laugh for a while before interrupting.