The Starting Line: Friends To Lovers

by Jennifer Hartley

  Everything is going pretty great. Hailey is pacing herself, not wanting a giant hangover with the flight tomorrow. She tends to get airsick if she imbibes too heavily the previous evening. She feels warm and light and free, and it’s such a great feeling, being with these people. Gregory, for some odd reason, is on a roll that night, making her end of the table laugh incessantly. A stomach ache will be inevitable if he keeps this up.

  Casually, she tracks how frequently the waitress goes to Jude’s end of the table, delivering yet another round of drinks. Perry is matching him drink for a drink tonight, so it appears she’s on her own if things get out of hand. Great.

  In the meantime, she’ll continue to laugh and enjoy her friends, ignoring the sense that things are about to get rough.

  They do.

  En route to the club, their group is loud and jovial, enjoying their champagne buzz and good spirits. True to form, Hailey slips on a curb because her heels are stupidly high and she’s the clumsiest person known to man. Jacob puts his arm out to steady her quickly, laughing at her walking skills.

  “Been doing this long, Morgan?”

  “No, no. Just learned how to walk yesterday. It’s all a challenge,” she smiles up at him but frowns when she hears Jude.

  “Told you she’d be a hot mess,” Jude says to Perry in a mock-stage whisper.

  “She’s not,” Perry replies, glancing at Hailey who turns to glare at Jude. “She’s fine. See?”

  Jude shakes his head to clear the drunk fog. “Whatever. Hailey, I’m not babysitting you tonight, so you know, just - don’t do stupid things or whatever.”

  “Oh no,” Perry mutters as Jacob raises his eyebrows at Jude. “Everything was going so well.”

  “Hey, Jude, how about we go -” Jacob starts, taking a step toward Jude.

  “Actually, don’t worry about it,” Hailey interrupts, stepping between them. “I need to talk to Jude anyway. Go on ahead. We’ll catch up in a few minutes.”

  Jacob and Perry both look like they’d rather stay, but Hailey waves them off, turning to Jude. Crossing her arms, she watches him take a seat on a nearby bench, laughing. It infuriates her.

  “What’s so funny?”

  Jude keeps laughing, giggling even. The more he laughs, the angrier she gets. “Your face, right now. Ah. Lighten up, Hailey. God. You’re such a stick in the mud.”

  He’s called her this before. And yet, a stick she remains. “Are you finished?”

  “Sure, sure. Are you?”

  She nearly growls in frustration. Arguing with him when he’s in this state is like trying to pull hens' teeth. “What is your problem?”

  “Nothing. I’m fine. Just peach-y,” he over annunciates the last word, framing it with his hands.

  “Oh, so you don’t need to babysit me?” Hailey’s lips thin, disgruntled. “Since when have I needed a babysitter?”

  Jude shrugs, leaning forward to prop his elbows on his knees and look at the ground. “I don’t know - that one time when we were at that thing, and that guy kept hitting on you, and you ended up making out with him in the corner and -”

  “I was seventeen!” Hailey huffs, placing her hands on her hips.

  “Yeah well, you know. I just don’t want to deal with… that kind of thing.”

  “No one’s asking you to,” she replies, frowning. “This is a night to celebrate and be happy. Why are you being like this?”

  “Why are you being like this?” he parrots back at her, mockingly. He knows it pisses her off when he does it. Sure it reduces him to a petty twelve-year-old. Most arguments do.

  “You’re acting like -” she cuts herself off, looking away and shaking her head.

  “Like what?” He stands unsteadily and takes a step closer, leaning his head into her field of view. “Like what, huh?”

  “Like I’m breaking up with you or something.” She regrets the words as soon as they leave her mouth. She hates confrontation. It takes her months to build up enough ire to be even remotely formidable. Once she does though, she’s a force to be reckoned with.

  Jude scoffs, eyebrows darting upwards. His laugh is mirthless; his voice is harsh. “Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart.”

  She turns back to him in disbelief, cheeks turning pink in anger. “Don’t flatter myself? Are you serious right now? Jude, what the hell? You promised me, you promised that if my leaving was a problem, you’d tell me.”

  He rolls his eyes, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Instead, you shut yourself off and become this moody person that no one knows how to handle.”

  “Me? What about you? You’re doing the same thing!” He’s practically yelling now, chest puffed up in aggravation.

  Hailey steps backward, brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

  “You don’t talk to me unless we’re on the dance floor, and even then, it’s all business. It’s like you don’t even want to be here.”

  “I stopped talking to you because every time I tried to start a conversation, you gave me monosyllables or acted bored with me. So I gave up.”

  “You gave up?” He says the words like he could wad them up and drop them in an empty trash can. “We promised to never give up on each other. I know you’re leaving and all, but…”

  “Yeah, well we also promised to always be honest with each other when it comes to our dancing and look where that’s gotten us.”

  “What…” Jude stops pacing for a moment, feeling very sober all of a sudden. “What do you mean?”

  “Do you even want to dance with me anymore?” Her voice cracks, and it makes her stop to swallow the lump in her throat. “Because I honestly can’t tell.”

  Pricking him like a pin, her words cause him to deflate and take a step back. He watches as she struggles to maintain her composure, knowing he has less than two minutes before she walks away to go cry alone. Crying. On tonight of all nights. She should be celebrating. Not standing out here, arguing with him.

  “Do you really think that?” His voice is soft.

  “We were fine three weeks ago, but ever since I told you I was leaving, you’ve been so…” she stutters out, at a loss for words. “It’s been really hard the past couple of weeks and you… Jude, I needed you. But you just pulled away and… what right do I have any more? It’s not like our careers still depend on how we feel about each other. Everything we do now is just because… because we enjoy it.”

  Jude chews his lip as she talks, feeling worse with each passing moment. He’s been such an asshole lately, and she put up with him the whole time. He sits back down on the bench, watching someone parallel park across the street. He realizes when she lets out a loud sigh that he’s been quiet too long and she thinks he’s not going to respond.

  He wants to tell her everything. He wants to tell her that he doesn’t want her to leave because it’s the beginning of the end of them. That he keeps seeing her ten years from now, important and beautiful and smiling at her wonderful husband and their 2 kids. That she’ll send him a stock Christmas card with all their damn faces and matching outfits. Or maybe she’ll be across the world, working some fancy job with an outrageous apartment. Or maybe… or maybe.

  Instead, he wants to make her angry at him. So angry that she just cuts him off and he doesn’t have to see what shape her life takes without him. Running calls at the fire station and rescuing cats from trees, sitting in a chair on the weekends and bickering on a sports show, riding in a truck with Sunny - it’s not impressive or flashy. It’s him.

  But then he glances up at her and sees his entire life wrapped up in another person, despite everything he’s done to create his own. He can’t deliberately hurt her any more than he could cut off his own foot. She’s a part of him, whether he wants her to be or not.

  He looks up when she starts walking away towards the hotel.

  “Hailey,” he calls out, and she stops but doesn’t turn. “I do… want to keep dancing with you.”

  She looks down and kicks a rock on the sidewalk as sh
e exhales. Her voice is hard when she speaks like it’s the last hurrah before her throat closes up. “Then maybe you should act like it.”

  When she gets almost a block away, he rises from the bench and follows her back to make sure she gets to the hotel safely. He hates himself a little bit more every time she wipes tears away from her face.

  He slides into the seat across from her at breakfast, bumping her knee with his as he places chocolate milk and a chocolate-filled croissant on the table in front of her. She looks at his peace offering for a moment, then up at him as he gives her an apologetic grin.

  “I swear on that croissant and all the chocolate milk in the land, that I will be okay with you leaving. It’s taking longer than I thought. I do apologize for my attitude, though. I’ve been in a terrible mood and you… and Perry, shouldn’t have to deal with that. I just… I didn’t think…” his throat starts getting scratchy, so he stops.

  “I’m scared too, you know,” she confesses, getting to the root of the problem. “It’ll be a change. Probably one that needs to be made, though. I mean, even now, we don’t go more than two weeks without seeing each other.”

  “Does that make us weird?”

  The corner of Hailey’s mouth raises. “I thought we stopped caring if we were considered weird when you were in grade nine.”

  Jude runs his hand on his face, scratching his head. “Yeah, well.”

  They fall into the tricky silence of a cease-fire for a few moments. Hailey reaches inside her bag and pulls out a folded piece of paper and hands it over to him. While she starts eating her croissant, he unfolds the paper and scans the contents. Looking between it and her, he shakes his head, torn between surprise and indignation.

  “You bought me a ticket to London?”

  Hailey demurely sips her chocolate milk from a straw, nodding. “Perry and I figured if we scheduled it for the very end of October, then you’d have enough time to make arrangements at work.”

  “You didn’t need to buy me a ticket, though.”

  “Yes, I did.” Her tone is even and assured. “How else would you understand that I want you to visit me?”

  He weighs her words, and it strikes him that this isn’t a casual invite; this is a serious gesture on her part. She’s not trying to erase him from her life but is creating another way for him to be in it. This is an invitation for him to have a small part in the next adventure she embarks upon.

  Unlike Jude, Hailey’s never been inclined towards the over-the-top, the grandiose. But when she wants to get the point across, she’ll stop at nothing until her intentions come across clearly.

  “Perry wants to come too. We were thinking you two could fly into London and stay with me for a few days, then hop on a plane and head south for a week or so.”

  “You’re coming with us?” Jude arches his eyebrows, intrigued.

  “No, no. Let you two have your mancation together, bro it out or whatever.” Hailey runs her fingers through her hair, rolling her eyes at him. He watches as she swiftly pulls her hair up into a bun, getting ready for the bus ride to the airport.

  “You’ll note that it’s a one-way ticket. That’s primarily because I have no idea where you two are going to end up. As long as it’s not in some jail in Spain or a bordello in Italy, you’re good.”

  When she has nothing left to occupy her, she remains fidgety across from him, watching as he stares at the ticket, deliberating. When she starts wiggling her foot back and forth, he decides to put her out of her misery.

  “I’d have come, you know,” Jude slides out from the table and pushes in his chair, Hailey doing the same. “If you really wanted me to.”

  As they walk, Hailey turns around and walks backward in front of Jude, giving him that mischievous smile he adores, “Consider yourself warned. This is me, wanting you… to come… and visit.”

  He flashes a grin then reaches out to stop her before she trips, grabbing her by the waist and spinning with ease. “Okay then, Miss Morgan, you have yourself a deal.”

  Her face lights up in such a way that reminds him why he’s spent the last 18 years with her. It’s addictive, making her happy.

  The last night of tour is one part exhilarating and one part exhausting; they’re definitely running on fumes at this point. It doesn’t matter though, because everyone has been living off tour-invoked euphoria. Ever since their talk, Jude has made the most of every single practice, show, and day out. He’s made sure to enjoy himself, ensuring others are doing the same. It’s important to him that everyone has a good time, but particularly, he wants Hailey to make the most of it.

  And she does.

  They wrap up the show as the very last pair before the group number. Their ending pose is close, the way they like it. When the lights darken, Hailey plants a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth and whispers, “Thank you, Jude. This has been amazing.”

  He smiles as they walk off the dance floor, squeezing her to him as he murmurs against her hair. “No, thank you. For everything.”

  It’s a week later, and they’re sitting quietly at his place. He’s drinking a beer while she cradles a cup of hot cocoa in her hands. He texted her earlier; he was bored and still going through tour withdrawals. Also bored, she complied and said she’d be over in ten minutes. When she arrives with two movies and popcorn, he realizes that she anticipated his desire for a low-key evening.

  She cocoons herself on his couch with a blanket while he loads the DVD, taking a seat in the armchair next to her. It’s a toss-up as to who will fall asleep first since both are exhausted. But when he doesn’t laugh at a particularly funny part, Hailey turns back to him and sees that he’s asleep.

  She reaches over and takes his bottle and sets it on the table, then picks up another blanket and wraps it around him. Resuming her seat as the movie plays on, she continues to watch him sleep. She feels an unbidden smile when he scrunches his nose at something in his dream. Exhaling slowly, that familiar sense of warm contentment settles over her, and she grins to herself. Then her heart does that forbidden tug, and she swallows, biting her lip. Turning back to the TV, she covers herself with the blankets to finish the movie, Sunny squeezing beside her for warmth.

  The sound of the music on the DVD menu wakes Jude. Pulling off the blanket, he leans forward and finds Hailey’s eyes closed; she was burrowed under the blanket. Sunny is tucked behind her legs, with head propped on Hailey’s bent knees. He watches them both sleep for an untold period of time, transfixed by the scene before him.

  Eventually, he grabs Hailey’s mug and his bottle and sets them in the sink. He returns to the couch and whispers to Sunny, “Come on, girl. I’m heading to bed. Are you coming?”

  All he gets is a huff in reply as she burrows deeper behind Hailey’s legs. “Traitor.”

  He glances at Hailey and sees that she’s still asleep, residual exhaustion from their travels having taken hold. He runs a finger along her cheek then kisses her on the forehead, whispering goodnight before walking to his bedroom.

  It’s early August, and they just finished with summer lessons. The classes are smaller due to vacations, but they’ve been making great progress with several students.

  “Wow, so you’re going with Laura to Hawaii. That’s awesome,” Hailey smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Jude doesn’t catch this because he’s checking the scores of the game being televised on the screen behind her head. “It’s a… big step.”

  “What?” he looks down, his brow furrowed. “No. She’s got to go to work. I’m tagging along. Not a big deal. Going to get a tan and try to see if I can match your surfing skills.”

  She nods, but it’s not believing. It gives him pause. “What?

  “What?”

  “I asked you first. What’s wrong?” He’s biting the end of his straw, pulling it through his teeth and twisting. She can’t stop staring at it. She gives him a measured look, hesitant, like what she’s about to say might be unpleasant.

  “Jude, I need you to listen to what
I’m saying and remember that I’m your friend.”

  Nothing good ever came from a conversation starting like this. “Okay…”

  “I don’t think Laura is a good fit for you.” She forces the words out like she’s afraid he’ll throw his drink on her.

  “What? Why?”

  “I think she’s beautiful. She’s very good at her job and very knowledgeable. On paper, she’s definitely your kind of girl: loves beer and sports, funny, easy on the eyes. The thing is, she’s got an awful attitude.”

  “You’re just saying that because she wasn’t very polite to you at that party.”

  “Which you ignored, might I add,” her nostrils flare in irritation. “She makes great jokes, but they’re at other people’s expense. And yes, she was impolite to me - but that’s nothing I’m unused to when it comes to the girls you date. They’re either really nice to me, or they don’t bother trying to put up a front.”

  “I disagree with 90% of everything you just said; this is stupid. Why are we talking about this?”

  “Because you’re about to go on vacation with her for a week. It sends a girl a certain signal when you agree to something like that, Jude.”

  “Whatever. Like you can talk. What about you and the Football Guy?”

  “Steve. His name is Steve. And he isn’t part of this discussion.”

  “Why not? I don’t like him either. He’s… tall. And… I don’t like the way he looks at you.”

  “That’s all you have?” She raises her hands in exasperation, sighs, then places them gently on the table, regrouping. “I don’t want to - wait. How does he look at me?”

  “Like… like you’re just an object. Like you - like… all he wants is sex from you.”