The Complete Collection: Supernatural Dating Agency Books 1-6

by Long, Andie M.

  “Hey, Mum. Me and Aunt Polly have loads in common. Not least of which we both like seamen.”

  I choked on my own saliva.

  “Pardon?”

  Charlie burst out into hearty guffaws. “I told you her expression would be brilliant. Mum, you have such a dirty mind. I meant Lord Drake and Kai, obviously.”

  “Obviously.” I repeated with heavy sarcasm. “I’m just going to grab myself a coffee and then we need to talk. All of us.” I headed to the kitchen, wondering if it was too early to add a shot of brandy to my glass. Wouldn’t be the first time.

  “Okay.” I sat in the chair opposite them and tucked my feet under myself getting comfy. “So what did the Linleys say about you having left the house?”

  “They blamed you.” Polly shrugged her shoulders.

  “Well, of course they did. So how am I to blame this time?”

  “Basically you introduced me to Drake so you’re culpable. I reminded them I was intending to move out anyway, and they reminded me that they’d said they’d look around for a place near to them, and that they could begin while I was ‘sorting out my issues’. They’ve given you a week to get me back home and my relationship with Drake over, so good luck with that.”

  “Shall I go around theirs and scare the shit out of them, Mum?”

  “No thank you, Charlie. I’d like you to leave this one to me. I just need to ring a family therapist and psychologist to work through all my issues of childhood abandonment and neglect and I’ll be good to go.” I shook my head. “It’s a never-ending riot of fun dealing with my adoptive parents.”

  “I’m not going home, Shelley. I shall start looking for my own place while I’m here.” Polly said in a steady, determined voice that exuded calm. The exact opposite of how I felt.

  Turning to my sister, I fixed her with a glare. “You’d better tell me exactly what’s been happening with Drake because if I have to take on this battle, it had better be for more than the wiggling of a sea snake.”

  “Mum!” Charlie admonished before her face relaxed. “That was a good one.”

  Chapter Four

  Polly

  “We met again at the christening and swapped phone numbers.” I had to concentrate while telling my story because I knew I could easily go off into a dream state as I was just that loved up. “He called me the day after and asked if I wanted to go swimming, so we met at the leisure centre and then we went for coffee afterwards. I couldn’t really get away with meeting him much more than once a week without it raising our parents' suspicions. He told me all about life under the sea. It sounds amazing.”

  “You haven’t been there yet?” Interrupted Charlie.

  “No. Because of his father. I’ll get to that shortly. Anyway, we just clicked and things had been going really well. We’d been talking about me getting my own place and him introducing me to his father, and then, well my mum and dad caught us and you know the rest.”

  “And how’s his sea snake? Does he know what to do with it?”

  “Charlie!”

  “God, Mum, you know you’re dying to know yourself.”

  Shelley looked at me with a hint of blush to her cheeks. “Yeah, she’s right, how’s the sea snake?”

  “It knows exactly how to sliver.”

  Shelley and Charlie both clapped and then we all fell about laughing.

  “Okay, so go on. What’s the problem with Duke Brishon?” Shelley folded her arms across her chest.

  “Apparently he wants Drake to marry a sea nymph because it will form an alliance between the Duke and the sea nymph’s father.”

  Shelley rolled her eyes. “Yeah, never mind about love, as long as it makes a good business deal.”

  “So anyway, Drake has texted me and says he’s ready for us to be together and that we just have to find a way. Once we have our parents approval, we can have our happy ever after.”

  “Why do you need approval? If you’re in love, just be together.” Charlie said.

  “Because Mark and Debbie have threatened to expose supernaturals to the world thus putting Drake in danger, and I guess Brishon will have his own ways of getting Drake to conform?” Shelley surmised.

  I nodded. “Drake went to the Duke, but he said if Drake continued to date a human girl with ‘no worth’ he would strip him of his title and ban him from the sea.”

  “But then you can live here happily ever after.”

  “It’s not that simple, Charlene.” I looked at my niece lovingly. “If Drake is banished to dry land, he will die. He has to visit the sea for his nutrition from the water. He can only survive on land for a few days.”

  “Let me get this clear.” Shelley went all resting bitch face. “Brishon has said if he stays with you basically he can fuck off and die?”

  “Yeah, it would seem we didn’t actually draw the ‘worst parents in the world’ short straw after all.”

  “Well, that’s it.” My sister’s shoulders tightened. “I shall be arranging a meeting with Duke Brishon. Looks like I’m finally going to go underwater. God, I’ll have to place that rusting heap of shit crown on my head. I shall call my father and get him to accompany me, seeing as it’s my virgin voyage.”

  “I’m going too.” Charlie pouted.

  “No. You can stay here with your dad.”

  “I’m the future queen. I need to accompany you, so I may learn also. So bring it, I shall just do my innocent doe-eyes at Grandad and he’ll overrule you anyway.”

  “You only want to try to spot Kai.” Shelley rolled her eyes.

  “I want to come too. It’s my fight after all.” I told my sister.

  “Good Lord. So our trip will be myself; you; Charlie; my father; my mother, because she’ll insist on coming; and no doubt, Theo, because he’ll not stop behind if there’s a chance of Kai appearing within feet of his precious daughter.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” I said.

  “Sounds more like a commotion in the ocean. I’d better go ring my father.” Shelley left the room.

  “Is love ever simple, Aunt Polly?” My niece asked. “I have this overwhelming connection to Kai, but I’ve not dated anyone else. Part of me feels like I should see what else is out there; but my heart, soul, and inner voice says wait for Kai.”

  “You need to listen to your gut, Charlie. I’ve had other boyfriends and none of them made me feel like Drake does.”

  She raised an eyebrow.

  “And I don’t mean in that way, in bed. I mean the palpitations when I know I’m about to see him. The skip in the stomach when I think of him. The smile that creeps across my face. The daydreams I go into when he comes to mind. It’s deep down within. He really does just feel like the other half of me. I can’t fully describe it.”

  Charlie patted my arm. “Well, I think you’ve done an amazing job of describing it and maybe I will save myself for Kai. It’s not like I have much longer to wait anyway. I’ll be fully grown within a few months.”

  “This does seem odd. I was cuddling you in my arms seven months ago and now I’m talking to you about love and romance.”

  “How will you go on being human though? Where will you live if you get together? If Drake has to visit the sea occasionally I guess he can do that and you can live in Withernsea?”

  “He says that with his permission, and with Brishon or Shelley’s blessing, I can live under the sea.”

  “Oh, well, Mum will do that for you.”

  I shook my head. “To do so she would have to overrule the Duke who currently manages the sea for her. If he was to be overruled he could cause a war under the sea.”

  “Nothing in Withernsea is ever simple is it?”

  I sighed. “No, I’m afraid not.”

  “So, we need to win around Duke Brishon and your parents, and then you can live happily ever after?”

  “That about sums it up, yeah.”

  “You’re fucked then, Aunt Polly, and not by the sea snake.”

  “Yup.”

  “Hey, tomorrow
do you want to come and help out at the shop? I’m there on my own while Ebony is off honeymooning with Henry. We could sort you out a whole new wardrobe of sexy lingerie for when you get your man.”

  I laughed. Bless her heart, my niece was already shaping up to become an amazing woman. “I will come, but not for that. It would be an honour to be able to spend some more time with you, getting to know you better. I know we don’t have the same blood running in our veins but you are still family to me, Charlie.”

  “That settles it then. You can come into work with me tomorrow and we’ll have our breaks in the coffee shop and hang with the gang.”

  “That sounds fantastic. I actually feel like in the midst of all this chaos I have something to look forward to. Thank you, niece.” I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a snuggle and she let me. Emotions blasted through my body at having a loving niece and I surreptitiously swept under my right eye to wipe away a small tear that had formed there.

  Later that night in my room I received a text from Drake. It amazed me how electronic media could still work from the sea to the shore and vice versa. I guessed anything was possible when magic existed.

  Drake: How have you been today? I’ve missed you so much.

  Polly: Fine. I’ve spent some lovely family time with Shelley, Theo, and Charlie. Shelley is going to arrange to come visit your father.

  Drake: That’s encouraging. Hopefully she’ll be able to knock some sense into the belligerent fool.

  Polly: I hope it doesn’t take too long to sort things out. I can’t bear being away from you.

  Drake: I feel the same. Polly, I didn’t get chance to tell you this that night because of course we were interrupted, but I was intending to say it. I love you.

  Polly: Oh my god. I love you too.

  Drake: We will be together, somehow. I know it will all work out.

  Polly: I hope you’re right. I just wish we could have sorted this out ourselves. My sister always seems to end up sorting out my problems and she usually suffers because of it. I don’t want that happening to her this time.

  Drake: And that’s why I love you. Well, one of the many reasons.

  Polly: So how has it been there, with your father?

  Drake: Well, apart from his insisting that we dine tonight with Keto and her father, it’s not been too bad. He’s had a lot of business to attend to and so has largely left me alone, apparently so I can ‘come to my senses’.

  My nails dug into my palm. The thought that another woman was dining with my man turned me inside out. I clenched my hand so hard that I pierced the skin and blood began to fill one of the half-moon shapes. I held it up and watched as it knitted itself back up and disappeared.

  My guilty secret.

  I could heal.

  Chapter Five

  Polly

  Summer 2008

  “Come on, Polly. You never do anything exciting. Sneak out and come to Damien’s party. He’s totally into you.”

  I took a deep breath. Damien Horsely was so damn hot, and I had kept noticing him looking at me in class. He was all dark and wavy chin-length hair, and deep brooding brown eyes.

  Something had happened to me lately. It had started with me ‘becoming a woman’. I’d gone from straight up and down bean pole with goofy teeth; to womanly curves, an ample pair of boobs, and my invisible brace had almost done its job on my teeth. From wearing my hair in a plait at my parents’ insistence and being barred from make-up; my best friend, Eliza, now shared her cosmetics with me in the school bathrooms first thing in a morning. Taking out the plait left my hair in blonde ringlets. The boys in my class had noticed the change. Some girls had too, and that hadn’t proved to be such a plus point, as I kept catching them whispering and obviously bitching about me, but at last I had a little freedom. Shelley had left school last September and so I was free to be myself—well, within school hours. Come home-time I was back in the bathroom fixing my hair and wiping all traces of make-up from my face. Thank goodness my mum believed that the facial wipes I carried around with me were for in case I got hot and wanted to freshen up.

  “So, are you going to sneak out? It’s not the same going to parties without my BFF.”

  I sighed. “I won’t be able to stay out too late, but if I say I’m coming to yours to study, then we could go from there. You’ll have to lend me something to wear though because they won’t let me have anything fashionable or the least bit party-like.”

  “God, I’d want to run away. Why are they so strict? It’s not like you do anything bad, ever.”

  “I’m their ‘miracle’ baby, so they’ve always kept me wrapped up in cotton wool.”

  “But Shelley’s always partying.”

  “Yeah, it’s not fair. She can do what she likes.” I was being unfair to my sister. Fact was, my parents didn’t seem to give a toss what she did because she had *internal cough* ‘magical powers’ and they were scared for my life. I was scared for their mental health. Maybe I should alert social workers to my predicament, but what would I say? ‘Oh yes they treat me like a princess, but they believe my sister is an evil entity and could harm me’?

  Apparently when I was a baby, they’d caught Shelley in my room and I’d been hovering near the window. Maybe as a jealous sibling she had toyed with the idea of chucking me out, but there was no way a two-year-old could reach my bedroom window. They must have been hallucinating. Perhaps they’d smoked too much marijuana when young?

  Then there was the story of my conception where my sister had apparently placed healing hands on my mother’s belly and then had also saved my life in hospital. If that was the case, surely Shelley would be their favourite daughter? And they could hire her out for anyone having difficulty conceiving. Would save couples and the NHS a fortune.

  No, I just had to face the fact that they were certifiable and hope that I hadn’t inherited those genes.

  “Can’t Shelley talk to them?”

  I shook my head. “She wouldn’t, and they wouldn’t listen anyway. As long as we say we’re studying, we should be fine. I’ll come over straight from school on Friday and we can go to the first part.”

  “The first part that’s totally lame because the cool kids don’t arrive until later with the booze.”

  I shrugged. “That’s all I can do.”

  Friday came, and we entered the party. It was quiet but there were still plenty of people there. The best thing about it was that Damien had time to talk to me. He had to keep going off to say hello to his guests which was disappointing but still he was talking to ME.

  “We’ll get more time together later, Pol. Once everyone’s arrived and busy partying, we’ll be able to get some time to ourselves. Around ten o’clock. So don’t hook up with anyone else in the meantime, will you? It’s my birthday and I’m choosing you as my birthday date. That okay with you?”

  I nodded, blushing. Shit. I had to leave to get home for nine. Maybe I could sneak back out of my room? There was a tree. I’d just never been allowed to try to climb it.

  Damien’s older brother had some friends around and they were chaperoning. Having parents there would have been lame. You could imagine my face when my sister rocked up carrying cans of beer. Her eyes almost bugged out when she saw me in my little black dress, with make-up on and my hair down. She did a double-take.

  “Well, well.” Shelley said. “Who’d have thought Perfect Princess Polly would climb off her throne to come party?”

  “You gonna dob me in?”

  “Hell, no. Thank God, you’re rebelling against them. Knock yourself out. You wanna beer, Sis?” She smiled at me. A genuine smile that made me feel like I’d won a competition or something.

  “Thanks.” I took one even though I’d never had an alcoholic drink in my life. I pulled the tab and took a swig. God, it was vile, but my sister had given it me and so I was drinking it.

  As it came nearer to my time of leaving, I felt my shoulders tighten and my neck go tense. The fact was, I was o
ut properly enjoying myself with my friends and I resented that I had to leave.

  “I can’t believe you have to go home.” Eliza said.

  “Listen. I’m going to pretend to go to bed and then sneak back out. They never check on me. I’ll be back by ten or just after, so do not let Damien get off with anyone else. Tell him I’m coming okay?”

  “OMG, Pol. Really? That’s awesome. I’ll hit on Paul and then we can hang together.” Paul was Damien’s best friend.

  “Right, I’ll be back.” I kissed her cheek and made my way home, calling into the local supermarket toilets to get changed and remove my make-up and stuffing my dress in my backpack. It was so short it wrapped up in my PE shorts, disguised.

  When I got home, I emptied out my school bag as were the house rules. I stuffed Eliza’s dress at the back of my wardrobe under a cuddly toy I’d had when I was little that never got moved, and then I put my PE kit in the laundry. Leaving my room, I headed downstairs to the living room where I sat with my parents for twenty minutes catching up with them about my day, then feigning tiredness I went to bed. I quite often went to my own room at nine-thirty as I loved to read and also loved to not have to sit with the parentals, so they thought nothing of it. I decided to change into some black jeans and a black top and a pair of converse which were a little more practical for tree-climbing. Slowly, I opened my window, careful to not make too much of a sound. Thankfully, my parents living room faced the front of the house and I was escaping out the back and then around the side. The tree was a little further over than I thought. I leaned out of my window trying to work out how to get on it. Sitting on the window ledge with my legs outside I could shuffle myself over. Carefully, I lowered myself, my feet touching the lower large branch and then I reached my right arm toward an upper one. I’d done it! I was on the tree and now all I had to do was work my way down.