Elizabeth Bennet in Disguise

by Lilian Swift

  “Will you not allow me to care for your safety while you are here?” he eventually asked.

  Lizzy blinked, unsure how to answer at first.

  “As you are my host, I suppose I should allow you to worry if I put a foot wrong,” she replied.

  “Do your parents know you came here in disguise?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “No one knows, apart from Jane. I told my parents I was visiting a friend in Derbyshire.”

  “I should count myself fortunate if you considered me a friend,” Darcy said, looking into her eyes.

  Lizzy blushed. “Do you really want to be my – friend – after – Hunsford?”

  “Perhaps we should not talk of that – for now,” he said, finally tearing his gaze away from her face.

  “You are right,” she agreed, hoping they would never talk about it again.

  An awkward silence descended. For once, Lizzy did not know what to say.

  “I believe I have kept you from your port,” she eventually said. “Or business in your study.”

  “It is of no matter,” he said, as if it truly did not bother him.

  “Well, I think I should go to bed.” She attempted a careless laugh, which sounded flat.

  “Sleep well,” he said, standing as she rose from the table.

  Lizzy nodded, peeping up at him from underneath her lashes. How could she sleep at all when he looked at her so – the way she imagined a loving fiancé looked at his betrothed?

  CHAPTER 15

  The next day, Lizzy and Georgiana slept late. Lizzy did not think that the events of yesterday would be quite so fatiguing. By the time she had breakfasted, it was almost noon.

  She wondered if Sally and Robert had visited the servants below stairs yet. At least the friends Sally had made here would not worry about her anymore.

  Georgiana strolled in to the dining room, filling her plate with bacon and toast.

  “Was it not exciting yesterday, Lizzy?” she enquired as she sat down opposite her.

  “Indeed it was,” Lizzy replied with a smile. She had not seen Darcy at all this morning and wondered at it – before telling herself not to wonder at it.

  “Did you go riding with your brother this morning?” she enquired, unable to help herself.

  “No.” Georgiana shook her head. “Fitzwilliam told me to sleep late this morning, and that we would go riding tomorrow.”

  “I think he is a very good brother,” Lizzy said impulsively.

  “Oh, he is,” Georgiana enthused. “The very best.”

  The two young ladies finished eating their breakfast. Then Georgiana suggested they sit outside in the garden and read.

  “A most excellent suggestion,” Lizzy praised.

  After they fetched their books, they sat in the topiary garden, Lizzy engrossed in Evelina and Georgiana reading The Mysterious Warning.

  Which is where Darcy came across them.

  “I hope you will not be scaring yourself with nightmares tonight,” he told his sister as he sat down beside her and looked at her novel. He shuddered. “How can you read such—”

  “Gothic literature?” Lizzy interjected with a smile.

  “It is vastly entertaining,” Georgiana told him, holding her book to her chest. “Lizzy has already read it, haven’t you?”

  “Yes, I have,” Lizzy replied without the merest hint of embarrassment. “It is fun to read escapist fiction at times.”

  “I see,” he said thoughtfully. “And what would you recommend for me?”

  “The Mysteries of Udolpho!” Georgiana said before Lizzy could part her lips. “He must read that, must he not, Lizzy?”

  “Indeed,” Lizzy said with a smile. “We shall be happy to discuss it with you afterward, Mr. Darcy, won’t we, Georgiana?”

  “Yes.” Georgiana beamed.

  With a pang, Lizzy realized she would not be here if that day ever arrived. She was departing for Longbourn tomorrow.

  “Then perhaps I had better start it today,” Darcy replied, rising from the garden seat.

  “It’s in my room, Fitzwilliam,” Georgiana told him. “In my bookcase.”

  He smiled fondly at his sister before striding to the house. Lizzy wondered if he actually would read the gothic novel, or if he was merely teasing. With a start, she realized she hoped he was serious about reading the book.

  Darcy did not return to the garden. When the temperature chilled, Lizzy and Georgiana went back to the house, Georgiana chattering about Lizzy playing the piano tonight.

  “You must play as well,” Lizzy told her. “I have it on good authority from Miss Bingley that you are very accomplished.”

  “Miss Bingley is too kind.” Georgiana blushed. “But ... perhaps we could play a duet?”

  “I should truly like that,” Lizzy replied. It seemed a fitting end to her stay here.

  At dinner that evening, Darcy told them he was up to chapter seven of volume one of The Mysteries of Udolpho.

  Lizzy expressed her surprise, smiling when he admitted it was not as “horrid” as he first thought it would be.

  “Have you read it, Mrs. Annesley?” he asked as the footman brought in the roast venison.

  “I confess I have not,” the companion replied. “I thought it might be too sensational for my taste.”

  “I am sure Georgiana will lend it to you once I have finished it,” Darcy told her.

  “Of course,” Georgiana enthused, seeming happy that now everyone in the household would read the book she’d found so thrilling.

  They had just finished their dessert of lemon cream when Mrs. Reynolds came into the room.

  “Excuse me, sir, ladies,” she began.

  “What is it, Mrs. Reynolds?” Darcy frowned. “Is something wrong?”

  “No, sir,” she replied, twisting her hands. “It’s just that I wanted to apologize for not taking Sally’s disappearance as seriously as I could.” She swallowed. “Miss Bennet, thank you for coming here and finding her.”

  “I am glad we found her safe and well,” Lizzy replied, feeling a little sorry for the housekeeper. She looked distressed.

  “Did you see Sally today?” Georgiana asked eagerly.

  “Indeed I did, Miss Darcy,” the housekeeper replied. “She fetched her belongings and told us all about the smallholding. Her mother is relieved, and Sally said she was not cross at all when they visited her today. And her young man seems very nice – I think he’ll take good care of her.”

  “That is excellent to hear,” Darcy said. “Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds. You are a valued member of the household, and I appreciate you coming to us like this.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Mrs. Reynolds curtsied, looking relieved as she left the room.

  “Now that we have finished dinner,” Georgiana said, “you must play for us, Lizzy. And after, we could perform a duet.” She rose from the table, clearly expecting everyone to follow her.

  Darcy noticed Lizzy’s hesitation.

  “You promised,” he said softly.

  Lizzy’s pulse raced at the warmth of his expression.

  “Very well,” she acquiesced.

  Georgiana linked arms with her and they headed toward the drawing room, leaving Darcy and Mrs. Annesley to follow them.

  Georgiana ushered Lizzy to the piano.

  “Shall I turn the pages for you?” she asked.

  “Perhaps I could do that.” Darcy appeared beside them. “That way, you will be able to solely concentrate on listening to Miss Bennet,” he told his sister.

  “Oh, yes,” Georgiana agreed readily. “Perhaps that would be best.” She settled on the sofa beside Mrs. Annesley.

  Lizzy’s fingers trembled as she looked through the sheets of music on top of the piano. When she could delay no longer, she chose a short sonata by Pleyel.

  The lively strains coursed through the room as her fingers somehow found the correct notes on the keys.

  How could she focus on playing when Darcy stood beside her? She could detect a faint whiff of
bay rum and citrus, a most pleasing scent.

  She was aware of every small movement he made, the length of his fingers as he turned the pages, the way he stood, so close to her, yet not improperly so. How could she keep her mind on the music when all she wanted to do was think about Darcy?

  But she managed to finish the piece without mangling it too badly.

  Georgiana and Mrs. Annesley applauded.

  “Fitzwilliam was right,” Georgiana enthused. “You are a fine player.”

  “Thank you.” Lizzy blushed at the unwarranted comment, aware of Darcy’s warm gaze on her. “However, I should practice more.”

  “Perhaps we could practice together,” Georgiana suggested, smiling.

  “I would like that,” Lizzy replied, knowing she spoke the truth. But how could she? Tomorrow she would be returning to Longbourn – where she belonged.

  “Didn’t you say you wanted to play a duet with Miss Bennet?” Darcy spoke, his gaze still on Lizzy.

  “Yes!” Georgiana jumped up from the settee and joined them at the piano. “What do you think about this duet by Haydn, Lizzy?” she thumbed through the music sheets.

  “I am familiar with it,” Lizzy replied, glad that she and Jane had sometimes played that piece.

  Georgiana beamed and sat at the piano. Darcy remained next to Lizzy, volunteering to turn the pages again.

  Lizzy forced herself to concentrate on the younger girl’s playing, soon realizing she was no match for Georgiana. Still, she did her best to shut out the knowledge that Darcy stood next to her, allowing the music to fill her senses.

  When they ended with a flourish, Darcy and Mrs. Annesley commended them.

  “That was wonderful,” Mrs. Annesley enthused. “Was it not, Darcy?”

  “Indeed,” he replied, his gaze lingering on Lizzy.

  “You are a much better player than I,” Lizzy ruefully told Georgiana.

  The younger girl flushed with pleasure.

  “Tomorrow we could practice after our morning walk,” Georgiana suggested to Lizzy.

  “I would like that – truly.” Lizzy hesitated. “But tomorrow I am returning to Hertfordshire.”

  “Oh.” Georgiana’s expression fell.

  “That will not be possible,” Darcy said shortly. “I have not been able to arrange suitable transport yet. I am afraid you must stay here a little longer, Miss Bennet.”

  Georgiana immediately cheered up at the news. “It will not be such a hardship, will it, Lizzy?” She looked at Lizzy a trifle anxiously.

  “No, of course not,” Lizzy replied. She did not want to hurt her new friend’s feelings – and it was the truth. It was no hardship staying a little longer at Pemberley with regard to Georgiana – but it certainly was in regard to Darcy.

  How could she have ever thought she hated the man? She now knew that the opposite was true. But it was no use. They moved in different worlds. And however much he might seem to admire her this evening, she knew he certainly did not admire her family.

  So why hadn’t he been able to arrange a hack post-chaise for her? Surely he only had to snap his fingers and the proprietors in Lambton would furnish him with whatever he required.

  Unless ... he was telling the truth and it had not been possible to send her on her way tomorrow. If so, then he was stuck with her for another day. She resolved then and there to stay out of his way.

  Lizzy urged Georgiana to play a solo piece, which she did. Lizzy took Georgiana’s place on the sofa with Mrs. Annesley, leaving Darcy to turn the pages for his sister, although his gaze, when he directed it toward Lizzy, seemed to suggest he would much rather be taking Mrs. Annesley’s place on the couch.

  Georgiana’s playing was delightful, inspiring Lizzy to vow to practice more, starting tomorrow. She just hoped Mary would not be too put out when she returned home and commandeered the piano for some extra sessions.

  Before long, all three ladies were stifling yawns and agreeing they should go to bed.

  Darcy escorted them up the staircase, and Lizzy realized this would be one of her last chances of being in such close contact with him. She would insist on going home the day after tomorrow – there was nothing for her here now that Sally had been found, apart from Georgiana’s friendship, which she would always cherish. But she could not use that as an excuse to outstay her welcome.

  CHAPTER 16

  The next day, Lizzy and Georgiana returned to the house from their walk around the estate in the crisp autumn air.

  “I shall practice the piano with you directly,” Lizzy said. “But first, I would like to change my shoes.” She lifted up the hem of her skirt to show the younger girl her damp half-boots.

  “Of course,” Georgiana said. “I shall wait for you in the music room.”

  At the front door, Georgiana turned right, while Lizzy was about to ascend the staircase.

  “Miss Bennet.” Darcy emerged from his study and strode toward her. “May I talk to you for a moment?”

  “Of course, sir,” she replied, conscious of her wet boots as she followed him down the hall.

  Did this mean he had been able to arrange transport to Hertfordshire for her?

  Once they were in his study, he closed the door.

  “Georgiana has asked me to persuade you to stay here a little longer.” He paced in front of her. “Of course, I have no objections – indeed, I hope you will stay – as long as you like.”

  Lizzy’s eyebrows rose.

  “That—” she swallowed, “—that is very kind of you.” But I cannot.

  He waited for her to say something more, but when she did not, he frowned.

  She rushed to fill the heavy silence.

  “I value your sister’s friendship very much, but I think it best if I return home to Longbourn immediately.”

  “Why?” He frowned.

  “My family are expecting me to return within a month,” she replied.

  “But you have not been here a month, have you?”

  “No.” She shook her head.

  “So then, why not extend your visit?” He resumed pacing in front of her.

  She stared at him. How could he be so obtuse? Why did he care so much if she stayed? Was his invitation merely for his sister’s sake? Surely he could not want her to remain here for himself. Not after what had happened between them at Hunsford.

  “You know why,” she finally uttered in a low voice.

  His steps halted and he swung around to face her.

  “Will you ever forgive me for the way I proposed to you?” His face suddenly looked haggard.

  “I was not exactly as civil as I could have been in my refusal,” she replied, shocked at the distress on his face.

  “I deserved it,” he admitted. “Had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner. Those words have haunted me ever since. It was some time, I confess, before I was reasonable enough to allow their justice. And then I came home, hearing about my sister’s paragon of a lady’s maid – imagine my shock when I saw it was you.”

  “You cannot have been more surprised than myself,” Lizzy told him. “I was informed you were not in residence, and every day I hoped I would be able to find Sally and return to Longbourn before you even stepped foot back in Derbyshire. When I saw you—” she swallowed, “—I was certain you would pack me off to Hertfordshire in the next five minutes – if you did not report me to the authorities for impersonating a servant.”

  “How could I do that?” Heartfelt emotion was in his voice. “The woman I ardently admire and ... love. You being here, attempting to solve the disappearance of a servant, at great risk to yourself, was another reason to admire you.”

  “Yet I thought ...” Lizzy’s voice shook. “I thought you disliked me. That you only allowed me to stay for your sister’s sake.”

  “That was what I told myself at first – inviting you to stay for Georgiana’s benefit,” he confessed. “It wasn’t long before I realized I wanted you to stay for myself. When we found Sally and you announced your intenti
on of leaving ...” He paused and shook his head. “I couldn’t allow it. Not yet. Not until I had a chance to apologize for my behavior at Hunsford.”

  “You just have,” Lizzy said softly, still finding it hard to comprehend that Darcy had just admitted he loved her. Yes, he had stated that very emotion at Hunsford, but his actions had seemed to belie his words – then.

  But ...

  However much she wanted to go to him, to trace her fingers along his firm jaw, to revel in this revelation, she could not.

  “My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever.” He gazed at her longingly, yearning in his eyes.

  She had to force herself to remain standing, and not cross the short distance that separated them.

  “My family ...” her voice trailed off.

  He colored. “Can you forgive me for what I wrote in my letter about your relations? I had no right to criticize them so. I believed myself perfectly calm and cool when I wrote that letter, but I am since convinced that it was written in a dreadful bitterness of spirit.”

  Relieved, she replied, “Only if you can forgive me for believing Wickham’s lies about you.”

  “There is nothing to forgive.”

  She smiled softly at him, ready to fly into his arms, but an unwelcome thought intruded.

  “What of Jane – and Mr. Bingley?” she asked hesitantly.

  “I was wrong to separate them.” His mouth twisted in self-reproach. “When I saw Bingley in London this last fortnight, he was still miserable. I could no longer congratulate myself on severing his connection with your sister. I had already reproved myself over my behavior to you at Hunsford – here, in some small part, was a chance to make it up to you – and your family. I told Bingley that I believed I had been mistaken about your sister’s lack of affection for him, and that he should go at once to Longbourn.”

  “That must have been after I left for Pemberley.” Her eyes widened. “And did he go to Longbourn?”

  “I bid him adieu myself,” Darcy replied. “But as yet, I have not heard from him.”