Surrogate Lover

by Clara Reese

  “Don’t hurt her, please!” The panic tastes like acid in my throat.

  “Get the fuck back!” Grady shouts.

  I step back, arms stretched out in front of me, palms facing him. The only way this is going to work is if I keep my cool. “I’m staying back,” I say, forcing as much calm into my voice as possible.

  My eyes dart to Katrina. She’s still shaking and I can just make out a line of silver dangling from her fingers, but there’s no time to wonder what it is. Grady starts pulling her backwards, angling for the tunnel, braced to run.

  “Wait! You don’t want to do this. Kidnapping, murder? You’ll never see the outside of a jail cell again,” I reason. “It’s not worth it. I can give you money. Any amount. Just walk away. I’ll even throw in a private jet to take you anywhere, as far away as you want.”

  I can hear the sirens in the distance. They have to be still tracking the 911 call. If I can stall him for a little longer, long enough for the police to get here, maybe we’ll have a chance.

  For half a minute I think he might actually take me up on the offer, but then a look of pure hatred burns across his eyes. “This is all your fault!” He swings the gun around, pointing it my direction. “You poisoned her against me. You made her think she could have a life without me in it. If I take you out of the picture, everything will be fine.”

  He’s so focused on me that he doesn’t see Katrina raise her arm from her side. The steel wrench in her hand glints in the sunlight. She slams it down on his wrist just above where he’s holding the gun.

  A deafening crack echoes through the air as a bullet leaves the chamber. Asphalt kicks up a few feet to my left as the bullet ricochets, then buries itself into the concrete wall of the building behind me.

  Grady falls to his knees, cradling his arm against his chest. Katrina bolts towards me, and I meet her halfway, hugging her up against me before shoving her behind my back. She races the rest of the way across the street, crouching behind the car.

  My body fills with a rage so intense that my vision blurs and all thought and reason melt away. I storm across the street, every inch of my body vibrating with fury. When I’m a foot away, I cock my elbow back and swing it forward with every ounce of force I possess.

  My fist connects with his jaw and his head swings back. The force of the blow ratchets up my arm, exploding across my shoulder, causing me to double over. My face contorts with pain as I shake my hand in a vain attempt to assuage the ache.

  I march back across the street as police cars squeal to a stop around us. Officers jump out, guns drawn, shouting orders, but my only focus is Katrina. She sags against me, and I wrap my arms around her holding her up. I bury my face in her hair whispering words of comfort and promises of love.

  31

  Katrina

  I’m a shuddering mess on the ground next to the car. I can’t stop shaking. Terror vibrates my whole body with its chill.

  Not for one second did I feel that Charlotte was in danger. From the moment I saw her I knew, she’s here to save me. I don’t need to worry about her because she’s twice as tough as Grady and ten times as fierce.

  I think even he can’t believe it. I can just imagine the look of astonishment on his face right before he hit the pavement. Getting knocked out. By a woman!

  I knew Charlotte would handle him. I just knew it.

  Sirens are starting to fill the air and I can hear quick steps coming towards me. It’s as if I can feel her presence getting nearer, as if she has an energy field around her that tugs me towards her.

  “Katrina!” Charlotte’s voice is so broken, so frightened, tears flood down my cheeks. I look up and see her standing over me.

  Her hair is wild. Her clothes are askew. Her eyes are wide and frantic, skin pale.

  She’s absolutely terrified. I’ve never seen her so unhinged. When she sees me, tears well up in her eyes and pour down her cheeks. She falls on me, patting me all over with her hands and asking if I’m okay. I tell her a hundred times that I am, but she keeps touching me, looking for wounds.

  Before, I was crying out of fear. Watching Charlotte, a terrible grief rips through my soul.

  She thought she lost me. Like she lost Addy. It’s all there in her face.

  I understand so much in that moment. All her fear and all those moments she pulled away from me or tested me. Now I understand. She had to do those things. Because she loves me.

  She gave her heart once and had it broken. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have love like that, then lose your heart entirely. She must have been living all this time thinking her heart couldn’t be restored.

  Then, finding it alive and beating, the natural reaction would be to push it away. She wasn’t pushing me away or locking me out. She was just desperately trying to protect herself.

  She’s murmuring all sorts of nonsense about internal bleeding and blunt force trauma as the tears are pouring down her cheeks. I raise my hand and run it down her face, lightly tracing the scar.

  “Charlotte.”

  She stops and looks up at me, blue eyes wide and frantic.

  “I love you.”

  Her lip trembles and the tears spill even harder down her cheeks. She grabs my face with both hands, pulling us together.

  “I love you too. Oh, God help me, I love you. You are the most important thing in the world to me!”

  I touch my lips to hers and suddenly we’re twisted in a pile, right there in the shade of the car, in the gutter. I’d laugh about it, but I’m far too interested in kissing my woman right now.

  We pull each other even closer, Charlotte getting her arms under mine to snuggle against my chest.

  “I’m so sorry Katrina, I’m so sorry!” Charlotte sobs.

  My tears fall hot and fast because those are the words I was about to speak.

  “I’m sorry, Charlotte. This all happened because of me. I put your baby in danger—”

  “Hey!” She pulls back and grabs my chin. “That’s our baby.”

  I’m so full of emotion right now all I can do is kiss her again. We may be in a gutter only feet away from a kidnapping psychopath, but it’s one of the best moments of my life.

  “We have to get you to a doctor.” Charlotte is pulling herself together in that no-nonsense way she has.

  “No, I’m fine. Really.”

  “No. I don’t care. You’re going. We need to make sure you’re okay.”

  She stands up and bends down. I’m not even sure what she’s doing when she cradles my legs then my shoulders.

  Then she tugs me against her chest and stands up.

  She walks the few steps to the open car door and puts me down carefully on the passenger seat. She’s stronger than I thought in every possible way.

  One of the cops calls out that Charlotte will have to make a statement and she waves, telling him she’ll be down soon. They already have Grady in a car, and I keep my eyes away from him. I want to forget he exists.

  When Charlotte gets in the driver’s seat and slowly pulls out onto the road, I look over in amazement.

  “Charlotte, you’re driving!”

  She grins. “You didn’t notice when I made my big entrance?”

  “No. Well, I did, I just didn’t think about it.”

  She shrugs. “A temporary block, so it would seem. I don’t want to talk about that right now. I’m sure my therapist will be thrilled. The important thing is that I tell you how sorry I am.”

  “I think we’ve both done enough apologizing.”

  “No, Katrina. I mean it. I didn’t trust you. It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I should never have put you through all of that.”

  “I’m sorry too, Charlotte. I’ve had such a hard time with Grady in my life. I’ve been running for so long. I just didn’t know how to stop.”

  Charlotte reaches out and takes my hand. We share a look and she doesn’t let go. When we get to the clinic, she wraps an arm around me and supports me as we go in to on
e of the private rooms.

  She stays by my side every second, asking if there’s anything I need. I’m so overcome I can’t think of anything I could possibly want. Aside from Charlotte, that is.

  They get me comfy on a nice bed and first they use a doppler to check the heartbeat. Charlotte and I smile and cuddle together as we hear the reassuring rhythm.

  They keep me in for an hour or so, doing an ultrasound on the baby as well as monitoring me carefully. They do blood pressure and blood sugar and a whole bunch of other tests. Even though Charlotte was the one who insisted I get checked out, she starts to get upset with them fussing over me, getting ready to chase them off like an overprotective mother hen.

  They finally announce that I’m fine and they want to see me again in a day or so. I’m amazed that such a big, stressful event left the baby completely unharmed. I’ve still got a lot to learn about motherhood and babies, but I’m getting the feeling both women and babies are far stronger than they get credit for.

  Charlotte takes me home and we walk into the apartment with our arms around each other, heads together. We head straight for the couch where we collapse, wrapped in each other’s arms. Sure. We need a shower and food and a dozen other things.

  But right now, there is only one thing we really need. And that’s to be close to each other. To feel the comfort of our bodies pressed together, our hearts and our breath as one.

  I snuggle close to Charlottes chest, hearing her heartbeat. She strokes my hair and I know that even though she’s comforting me, she is reassuring herself as well.

  I pull her even closer to me and there is so much in my mind and heart that I feel I have to say. But I don’t need to. I can feel it and so can she.

  We’re in love. Neither of us ever have to feel alone or abandoned, ever again.

  32

  Charlotte

  Early the next morning I roll over and look at Katrina. Her hair is a cloud against the pillow, her mouth sweet and innocent, twitching in her dreams.

  I think about how lucky I am in so many ways. I touch the ring around my neck and feel what’s in my heart.

  “Is it time, baby?” I whisper to the empty room. I smile a little as I feel Addy all around me, just like I have every day since the accident.

  But this time the memories don’t hurt. I can see her smiling and hugging me. Happy for my happiness.

  I slip out of bed, thinking Katrina will probably sleep for some time. I go into the kitchen and call my sister.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Tricia.”

  “What the fuck, Charlotte. Do you know what time it is?”

  “I needed your advice.”

  “Well if it’s that important…What? Spill it.”

  “Do you think it’s too early to propose?”

  Patricia bursts out laughing. In the background someone asks ‘what’ and Trish recounts through bursts of laughter. The other person starts cackling like a hyena.

  “Who’s there? You said you just woke up.”

  “No, I said it was early. And I did just wake up. Dawn brought me hot bread and coffee.”

  “Why are you guys up so early?”

  “Dastardly plots,” Tricia jokes, refusing to explain further.

  “So, about my question?”

  “Oh, wow.” I hear Trish tearing into a bagel. “You’re having a baby with her, so no, it isn’t too early. Go for it!”

  “Can you meet me at the store? You know the one, the private one where the stuff is all handmade.”

  “I know the one, sure. Dawn, you coming?”

  In the background there’s a ‘yeah’.

  “What are you guys doing together all the time? Is there a thing happening?”

  Patricia laughs through a mouthful of hot bread. “We’re both having trouble meeting people so we’re committing to our friendship. You know it’s not like that with us.”

  “Yeah, well. I was just wondering.”

  “We’ll see you soon.” Patricia mumbles. It sounds to me like my sister might be about to start a serious relationship with food.

  I check on Katrina once and then grab my purse, throwing on some slacks and a blouse. I go to the garage and look over my cars, finally deciding to take the Jag.

  I cruise down to the shop, making a quick call on the way there. It’s an exclusive place with no street front entrance. Not just anyone can walk into this jeweler. Appointments need to be booked and his pieces all sell for several hundred thousand. That’s the bottom rung. Above that and you’re into millions.

  After parking, I knock on his little door and he lets me in. A kindly old man with a sweet smile ushers me in.

  “Let me see…” He looks at me with a twinkle in his eye. “I remember you. Miss Monroe. Charlotte Monroe.”

  “That’s correct, Arthur.” I touch the ring on a chain around my neck and his eyes focus on it.

  “Ah, yes. I remember the piece. Come to have it remodeled?”

  “No, Arthur. I want a new one. I’m getting married.”

  Saying it out loud is like a clanging bell. It rings through my bones and I’m starting to feel like it might actually be real.

  Dawn and Tricia knock on the door and Arthur hurries to let them in. We hug as they come in.

  “Thanks for coming.” I hug Trish tight.

  “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She whispers back.

  We head to the counter and Arthur starts to bring out boxes of rings. The first few are white diamonds and I shake my head.

  “No. I need something with color.”

  Arthur smiles and pulls out a few more boxes. Each one only holds five rings and all of them are exquisite.

  My eyes fix immediately on a glowing red stone. Its sitting in a nest of garnets and a scattering of white diamonds. I pick it up and watch it glitter in the light.

  “Is it a ruby?” Trish asks.

  “It is a red diamond.” Arthur says reverently. The girls gasp so hard I think they might faint.

  “Shit, Charlotte, do you know how expensive they are?!” Dawn holds on to the counter.

  “Only thirty of them are known to exist.” Patricia stares at the ring like it might disappear.

  I turn it carefully, watching the red lights lance from its depths. The white diamonds and garnets make a beautiful little pattern around the centerpiece.

  “It’s the one,” I whisper softly. Dawn and Patricia swoon, eyes bugging. Arthur smiles.

  “I’ll get you the contracts, Miss Monroe. I don’t need to tell you it is several million.”

  I shrug, waving a hand. “Whatever.”

  Dawn and Patricia clutch each other again, almost falling over. I wait for Arthur to return, filling out the forms and signing off for the purchase of the ring. We all gather around exclaiming how beautiful it is and Arthur throws in a pair of ruby earrings for free that match the ring’s color.

  We head out the front and the girls ask if I want to get breakfast.

  “No, I left Katrina sleeping.” I tuck the ring deep into my pocket. “I want to get back to her. All of us will get lunch soon, okay?”

  “Sure, Charlotte. Maybe you could come to the office some time and actually do some work!” Dawn jokes as they walk away.

  “Hardy har.” I yell after them, heading back to my Jag.

  When I pull out into the street, I feel ridiculously powerful. My heart doesn’t hurt anymore and I’m full of hope for the days ahead. I can’t remember the last time I felt like this. The wheel under my hands is just as familiar and comfortable as before that fateful day. The fear is absolutely gone.

  I’m finally free. I was imprisoned by my own hand and now I’ve given myself permission to fly.

  I cruise back to my building, parking the Jag in the basement and heading upstairs. When I slip into the room, Katrina is still asleep, and I smile at her peaceful expression. I sit down on the edge of the bed and pull out the engagement ring. I look at it carefully, watching the light play on the stones.


  I close the box and slip it into a drawer. I’ll plan the perfect proposal soon.

  I undo the chain around my neck and slide Addy’s ring into my palm. As I look at it, I think about how I’ve worn it since the moment she left me. I’ve kept it close as if to keep her close, too. Whenever I’ve been worried or sad, I’ve held it, comforting myself and feeling like I was connecting to Addy.

  I know that all I need to connect with Addison is in my heart. She never left me, and she never will. She would want me to be happy and I know she’s watching out for me no matter where she is.

  I close my eyes and press the ring to my heart.

  “I love you,

  Addy.” My voice is quiet in the silent room. “I’ll miss you forever. Thank you. For everything.” I spend a few moments in my memories and then find a jeweler box to put the ring and chain into.

  Then I turn and slip under the covers, sliding along the sheets until I come up against Katrina. I put my arms around her waist and snuggle against her, feeling her hair under my cheek as I press myself against her back.

  I have everything I need. I can’t believe it, I’ve been in pain and struggling for so long. I will never stop missing Addy. But now I can see a whole new direction, a bright future.

  And it’s all about Katrina and me. I hug her tight, letting sleep claim me again. I can’t wait to wake up with the most beautiful woman in the world.

  Every single day for the rest of my life.

  33

  Katrina

  It’s dark and everything around me is cold and sharp.

  I can hear Grady’s voice. He’s laughing and taunting me from the darkness. Every now and then, violence moves through the darkness, and I feel pain. He’s using some kind of weapon, something made of the darkness that lives in his soul.