Not the Marrying Kind

by Jae

  “Cute and what? Embarrassing?” Was it just her imagination, or was it now Sasha’s turn to blush?

  “No. Cute and, um, impressive. I mean, it looked and sounded like you belong on a stage, not in a flower shop.”

  Ash waved dismissively. “God, no. Leo is the musical genius in our group, not me. I was always just mediocre, and now I’m totally out of practice. These days, I only sing in the shower.”

  Sasha studied her with one of her intense gazes. “Why did you give it up?”

  “Showering?” Ash laughed, but even to her own ears, her joke sounded lame. “I didn’t.”

  “You know what I mean. I haven’t seen you at the keyboard since you graduated. Why did you give up music?”

  “You know how it is when you’re no longer in school,” Ash said as lightly as possible. “I didn’t have time to keep up with it.”

  Sasha crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s your favorite excuse, isn’t it?”

  Ash’s gaze snapped up to her face. Anger stirred in her belly. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me.” Sasha didn’t back down from Ash’s glare. “It’s the same excuse you give your mother when she asks why you aren’t dating.”

  “It’s not an excuse. Well, maybe it is about dating, but not when it comes to music. All those gigs and band practices take up a lot of time. Just ask Leo.”

  “I’m not talking about aiming for perfection so you can make a career of it. I’m talking about playing every now and then, just for fun.”

  Ash kicked at a stem that had dropped to the floor. “It stopped being fun when Leo left. Without her…” How could she explain that playing the keyboard and not hearing the notes mingle with the sound of Leo’s guitar had been just too painful? She couldn’t tell her that.

  When Ash didn’t finish her sentence, Sasha reached out and gently nudged her chin up with the touch of one finger, making Ash look her in the eyes. She regarded her for a while as if searching for answers on her face. Then her mouth dropped open. “Holy…! Why didn’t I realize before? Leo and you…?”

  “Sssh!” Ash’s gaze darted to the display windows, but, of course, there was no one outside.

  “So it’s true?” Sasha pressed one hand to her mouth and blew air through her fingers. “What Derek said earlier wasn’t complete bullshit after all?”

  Ash’s stomach spiraled out of control. She clutched both hands to her belly. “What did he say?”

  “Nothing that bears repeating. Just some stupid nonsense about why you wouldn’t date him. Forget it.” Sasha shook her head back and forth as if that would help the thought sink in. “Wow. I can honestly say that I didn’t see that coming.”

  “Neither did I,” Ash muttered.

  Sasha cocked her head. “What do you mean?”

  Shit. She should have kept her mouth shut, as she had for the past fifteen years. So far, she had never told anyone about what had happened on prom night, not even Holly when they had been together. Chewing on her bottom lip, she hesitated.

  “If you’d rather not talk about it, that’s okay. I’ll try to forget I ever found out. But, frankly, it’ll be hard because… Jesus! You and Leo? Wow, wow, wow. Now I get why she seemed to avoid you for a while. Ugly breakup?”

  “No, nothing like that. We were never a couple.”

  “But I thought you said…?”

  Ash hesitated again. But she had already started to talk about it, so she might as well tell Sasha everything. She realized that she trusted her to keep quiet about it. “Leo and I…we got a little buzzed on prom night.”

  Sasha shrugged. “Like the rest of the seniors. It’s a yearly tradition.”

  “Yeah, but I did it to talk myself into finally sleeping with Brandon.”

  “Did you?” Sasha lifted both hands. “Sorry. You don’t have to answer that. That’s way too personal.”

  A sigh escaped Ash. She picked up a carnation and inserted it into the wreath. She could finish it while they talked. At least that way, she didn’t have to look Sasha in the eyes. “It’s okay. I didn’t sleep with him. Because it turned out the only reason Leo was drinking was to work up the courage to kiss me—and when she did, all thoughts of Brandon went out the window.”

  “Must have been quite the kiss.” A hint of amusement entered Sasha’s tone. “You’re blushing, even fifteen years later.”

  Was she? Ash touched her cheek with the back of her hand. Yeah, she was definitely flushed. “It was. I mean, in hindsight, it was clumsy and awkward because I’m pretty sure I was the first girl—the first person—she’d ever kissed, but… God, her lips were so soft and—”

  “Okay, okay. TMI. Holly is like a sister to me, so that makes Leo my sister-in-law. I don’t need those images about her in my head.”

  Neither did she. Ash slid in another carnation between bits of greenery.

  “What happened then?” Sasha asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing?” Sasha’s tone was skeptical.

  Ash nodded firmly. “Not a thing. I, um, I ran. I just… I couldn’t deal with it. I didn’t sleep a wink that night, and when Leo searched me out the next day…”

  “More kisses?” Sasha asked, a twinkle in her eyes.

  “No. I told her I was straight, and when she asked why I had kissed her back, I blamed it on the alcohol. Told her the kiss didn’t mean a thing to me. She left for New York the next day.”

  “Ouch,” Sasha mumbled.

  “I know, I know. I wanted to make it right so many times, but what was I supposed to do? By the time I could get up the courage to talk to her, she was a superstar, and I would have come across like one of her little groupies.”

  “But you’ve talked to her now, since she came back, right?”

  Ash inserted a ribbon on a wooden pick into the wreath and slid her fingers over the silky material. “Yes, I did.” She drew the line at telling Sasha she had been stupid enough to ask Leo out. She had already embarrassed herself enough for one night.

  “So all is well between the two of you now?” Sasha asked.

  Ash hesitated. Was it? Leo had agreed to move on and let go of any bitterness, but maybe she had made that promise more for Holly’s sake than because she really meant it. “I don’t know. I think so. I mean, I just received an invitation to their wedding, and they hired me to do their flowers, so I assume—”

  “You assume? Don’t you think you should know? You should talk to her, Ash.”

  It was the first time Sasha had ever called her anything other than Ashley, and it distracted her enough for her not to get defensive. “I know. I will. At some point.”

  Sasha regarded her for a second longer. “Okay.”

  A breath escaped Ash when Sasha didn’t pressure her further but just accepted her answer.

  “So, are you done?”

  “With Leo? Absolutely.” Yes, she had tried to ask her out, but truth be told, she didn’t know what she would have done if Leo had said yes. She wasn’t ready to come out, even if she had thought so for one crazy moment. “Besides, she’s marrying Holly, in case you’ve forgotten.”

  Sasha smiled. “I didn’t mean with Leo. I was talking about the wreath.”

  “Oh.” She tugged on the ribbon to turn it a little to the side. “Um, yes, I’m done.”

  “Then let’s get out of here. It’s getting late.”

  “I have to put the wreath in the cooler and clean up first,” Ash said.

  Sasha’s gaze swept the shop as if assessing what had to be done. “You put the wreath away and do whatever else you have to do, and I’ll clean up.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I know.” Sasha straightened from where she had leaned against the counter. “Come on. Point me in the direction of a broom so we can get out of here.”

  Ash gave up her resistanc
e and handed her the broom. “Thank you.”

  They worked together as if they had been a team for years. While Ash put the wreath in the cooler and changed the water in the buckets of the remaining flowers, Sasha swept the shop, wiped down the worktable and the counter, and even disinfected the knife and the other tools.

  “If you are ever sick of getting up at four a.m., let me know,” Ash said, meaning it. “I’d hire you on the spot.”

  “Nah.” Sasha grinned and wiggled her fingers. “Your tools of trade seem even more dangerous than mine, and I’m too fond of keeping my fingers in full working order.”

  No, no, no. Don’t think about it. Think about…world hunger, taxes, stepping into a pile of dog poop. But, of course, images of what those capable fingers might be able to do flashed through her mind anyway. She forced her gaze away from Sasha’s hands.

  Sasha put the broom back where it belonged. “Ready?”

  “Oh yeah. Um, I mean, yes. All done.” Ash took her keys and the garbage so she could toss the latter into the dumpster on her way out.

  Once again, Sasha’s hand came to rest on the small of Ash’s back as they walked to the door.

  It was starting to become a familiar feeling, but that didn’t stop the tingle of excitement that rushed through her any time Sasha touched her like this.

  While Ash locked the door and took the garbage to the dumpster, Sasha waited next to her and then walked her to her SUV, which was parked a few steps away.

  When Ash pressed the fob, the taillights flashed, illuminating Sasha’s tall, broad shape for a moment. She looked like a bodyguard hovering next to the person she had promised to protect.

  Ash opened the driver’s side door, but instead of getting in, she faced Sasha. “Want me to drop you off in front of your apartment?”

  “Nah.” Sasha waved her hand. “It’s just a few steps. Walking will do me good. Oh, speaking of… That’s what I was about to ask you earlier, before you dropped that Leo bomb on me. Want to get together tomorrow? You, me, Casper, and maybe Snickerdoodle and a nice, long walk in the park. Oh, wait, Casper will still be at his grandparents’, won’t he?”

  Ash hesitated. She should have just confirmed that Casper wouldn’t be there and instead offered to meet next weekend to space out their get-togethers. Hopefully, that would stop people from talking about how much time they were spending together. But the thought of walking side by side with Sasha, seeing her interact with her aunt’s tiny dog, and maybe even making her laugh a time or two was just too tempting. She had already missed spending time with her friends tonight, and she didn’t want to miss out on what promised to be a nice Sunday morning too. “Actually, my parents will drop him off on their way to church tomorrow morning. A long walk might be a good idea. He needs to work off some calories if you keep supplying him with barkery treats.”

  A smile made Sasha’s teeth gleam in the dim light of a streetlamp. “Great. Nine o’clock at the bridge?”

  “Can we make it nine thirty? My parents will drop Casper off around nine.”

  “Sure,” Sasha said. “Nine thirty is perfect.”

  Ash shifted her weight. Her gaze went back and forth between the SUV and Sasha. Come on. Get in. It’s late. But she stood rooted to the spot.

  Sasha was the first to move. She stepped closer and leaned down.

  Ash’s pulse hammered in her ears. Her breath caught. Was she…?

  Then Sasha’s long arms went around her in a hug.

  A hug. Just a hug. Of course. Not that she had expected or wanted anything else. Nope, not for a second. Her eyes fluttered shut. God, the heat Sasha emanated was incredible—and so was the way her taller body felt against Ash’s. She had daydreamed about what a hug from Sasha might feel like, but this was even better than anything her imagination had come up with.

  Sasha gave a soft squeeze and released her.

  Quickly, Ash opened her eyes and put on a nonchalant expression, as if she hugged good-looking queer women several times a day.

  “Night,” Sasha said. “Drive carefully.”

  “Will do. See you tomorrow.” Ash slid behind the wheel and closed the door between them. Safely behind that barrier, she blew out a breath. That Sunday morning walk with Sasha had sounded like such a nice idea a few minutes ago, but now she was no longer sure.

  Maybe she should call her tomorrow and tell her something had come up.

  But Sasha would see right through that; she had called her on her excuses earlier already. Nope. There was no way out—and Ash wasn’t sure she wanted one. That was even scarier.

  She started the engine. Without allowing herself to glance over her shoulder to see if Sasha was still there, she sped down the street a little too fast.

  Chapter 9

  Sasha was early. Way early. Even though she had to adjust her long stride to Snickerdoodle’s tiny steps, it wasn’t even a quarter past nine o’clock on Sunday morning when she approached the park.

  She had gotten bored at home, and there was only so much scrolling through Instagram for cake inspiration she could do.

  Yeah right. You’re bored when you have at least a dozen unread books on your nightstand, half a season of Killing Eve to watch, and decorations for Easter cupcakes to think about.

  Okay, she admitted to herself, maybe she’d been a little excited for her Sunday morning walk with Ashley and had left home too early because she was eager to meet up with her. Nothing wrong with looking forward to seeing a friend, right?

  Sasha chuckled to herself. Especially when the friend in question was easy on the eyes and surprisingly pleasant company.

  When she rounded the bend in the path and the bridge came into view, Sasha caught sight of the lone figure leaning against the railing of the bridge.

  Ashley. Sasha didn’t have to see her face to recognize her immediately. The dog sitting at her feet was a dead giveaway too.

  Had Ashley been just as eager to see her, so she had rushed off as soon as her parents had dropped off the dog?

  Ashley stood with her back toward Sasha, her elbows on the railing and her head tilted back, letting the rays of the morning sun warm her face. For once, her long hair wasn’t pulled back into a ponytail. The wind blew through it, giving Ashley a carefree look. Sasha knew that it would lighten to the color of wheat come summer, but now it gleamed like a jar of the finest wildflower honey.

  Like honey? Please! That was cheesier than Leo’s love songs. She really had to get over that leftover crush from her high school days.

  Her gaze was drawn back to Ashley’s hair, though. Would it be as soft and silky as it looked if she buried her fingers in it and drew her closer to—?

  Snap out of it! She shoved her hands into her jacket pockets. She wasn’t looking to start anything with anyone, least of all a closeted woman—even if that closeted woman looked damn cute in pink tennis shoes and a tight pair of jeans that hugged her long legs and curvy hips.

  Casper had spotted them now. He let out a bark and tried to pull Ashley toward them.

  Ashley straightened and turned. A smile spread over her face, and for once, Sasha had the feeling it wasn’t her automatic girl-next-door-who-is-friendly-to-everyone smile but a genuine one.

  “Good morning.” Sasha stepped onto the bridge and walked toward her.

  “Morning,” Ashley answered.

  Snickerdoodle and Casper strained toward each other with excited yips.

  Knowing how fragile the Frenchie’s neck and spine were, Sasha loosened her grip on the leash.

  The dogs greeted each other with tail-wagging, butt-sniffing, and muzzle-licking.

  Sasha wished it was that easy for her and Ashley too. An image of her licking Ashley’s face and sniffing her butt flashed through her mind. She bit back a smile and paused in front of Ash, not sure how to greet her. Should she hug her? The memory of how Ashley had melted into her
last night—like delicious chocolate glaze—was still imprinted on her body.

  But now Ashley’s body language practically screamed her hesitance. She looked as if she would rather be staked to a fire ant hill, naked and covered in honey, than accept a hug in public.

  The words naked and covered in honey started an NC-17-rated slideshow of images in Sasha’s head. The whiff of Opium, Ashley’s signature perfume, trailing on the wind didn’t help with that either.

  Maybe it was a good thing that the dogs performing their greeting ritual created some kind of barrier between them.

  Ashley shuffled closer and lightly grazed Sasha’s forearm with her fingertips. “Hey, you’re early.”

  “You are too.” Sasha bent to greet Casper, who rolled onto his back to get his belly scratched, while Ashley knelt to pet Snickerdoodle.

  Since the dogs acted like long-lost siblings who couldn’t stand to be apart, Sasha and Ashley ended up with their faces just a hand’s width apart.

  Ashley got up quickly. “Um, shall we?” She gestured toward the path that led along the creek.

  Sasha nodded and followed her across the bridge. Okay, she definitely had to get a grip on this attraction. Even if Ashley hadn’t been so clearly ambivalent, getting involved with her was a bad idea. At the first hint of trouble, she would do what Sasha’s mother had done: run for the hills. Being left behind once was enough.

  “I think this is the spot, by the way.” Ashley pointed at a large, flat rock along the edge of the creek.

  “Spot? What spot?” Had she missed something Ashley had said?

  “Leo and Holly’s spot,” Ashley said. “Where they want to have the ceremony.”

  Sasha caught up with her so they could talk. “Oh, that spot. How do you know?”

  A blush dusted Ashley’s cheeks. “Um, I saw them here more than once.”

  What had they been doing to make Ashley blush like that? Sitting at the creek with their feet in the water, kissing? “Is it weird for you?” Sasha asked. “Seeing them together?”

  “It used to be, but I think I’m over it. They fit so well together. Much better than I ever did with either of them.” A hint of sadness vibrated in Ashley’s tone. “Anyway, they could set up folding chairs here and here, forming an aisle that leads toward this rock, where they could exchange vows.” She described the shape of the aisle with her hands, painting a vivid picture. “Maybe they could make it a sunset ceremony. The rays of the setting sun would bathe the creek in colors, making it look like bronze. Wouldn’t that be nice?”