Coming Home to Glendale Hall

by Victoria Walters

  ‘You know,’ Mum said, ‘one of my friends’ son works for the council. I wonder if I could get us a meeting with him, to find out what they’re thinking and see if there’s any hope of changing their minds about selling.’

  ‘What would Dad say though?’ I asked, biting my lip. I certainly didn’t agree with what he was doing but I also didn’t want to see him ruined.

  ‘We don’t need to tell him anything just yet. Yes, his company would make more money if this goes ahead, so we would make more from our shares, but I’m sure they can find somewhere else to invest in. And I’ll be honest, I won’t lose any sleep over upsetting the board over there,’ Mum said, darkly. She hadn’t mentioned Cathy, the woman who worked there who Dad was having an affair with, much but it must have been on her mind a lot. I couldn’t imagine how she felt. It must have been tearing her apart. I didn’t understand why she didn’t seem to want to do anything about it. I resolved to make her realise it wasn’t something she should just accept.

  ‘Do you think you can get us in to see the council though?’

  ‘Oh, don’t you worry about that.’

  I was pleased to see that determined look back in her eyes, the one I remembered from when I was a child and she had wanted me to do something that I really didn’t want to do.

  ‘And in the meantime, let’s come up with a way to bring the village together,’ Heather suggested, pulling out a notebook and pen.

  I went up to the bar to order us some food and drink and glanced back to see their heads bent close together as they tried to brainstorm ideas for how we could save the High Street, and bring the Glendale community back together again. It was lovely to see them all energised and wanting to help. I was sure that if we took the lead then others would follow, and help make Glendale somewhere people wanted to be again. I thought about what Izzy had said about bringing people together and doing something festive, and an idea popped into my head. I hurried back over to them after ordering, hoping they would all like it.

  * * *

  We all stood in the garden in a line – Mum, me and Izzy, and John who we had pulled away from the greenhouse to join us. Heather had had to go back to work but she’d been bouncing with enthusiasm as she left us, planning to work all afternoon on my suggestion at lunch. The three of us had come straight home to see if John thought it was something we could do.

  ‘What do you think? Can you picture it?’ I asked John anxiously.

  ‘It could be really stunning. A lot of work but we could pull it off. Even with the short deadline. We’d need to ask people to pitch in and help. And you could design it all. But would people come?’

  I bit back the urge to reply, ‘if we build it, they will come’, so I nodded instead. ‘People care about Glendale, they’ll come. Plus, the chance to see Glendale Hall after all these years and get a glimpse of the black sheep daughter, who could resist?’ I said with a grin.

  ‘What about David?’ John asked with a shuffle of his feet.

  ‘He’s not going to like it,’ I admitted. I turned to my mum for her verdict.

  ‘It’s not his house at the end of the day, though, is it?’ she replied.

  I hadn’t thought of it like that, but she was right. Gran owned Glendale Hall, not my father, and I didn’t think she was about to refuse us anything as she wanted to make amends for the past. I looked out at the garden and tried to picture my idea fully formed. I had remembered taking Izzy to Kew Gardens last Christmas, where we had walked their trail of lights together. I thought that we could create our own festive trail at the Hall and invite everyone who lived Glendale to come along. And even get them all to help build it. It seemed like a perfect idea to pull everyone together and bring some much-needed festive cheer to the village. ‘We could invite the council to come on opening night and really show them that we’re willing to fight for our village,’ I said then, hoping that we’d be able to change their minds and make them see that there was a community to save.

  ‘We have a lot of lights already,’ John said. ‘But we’d need to buy more. We’ll probably need to hire an outside generator, too.’

  ‘Okay. Heather is going to try to drum up support in the village. She was always good at art: we’ll need leaflets, posters and social media buzz.’

  ‘What about me?’ Izzy asked, keen for a job to do.

  ‘Find the leftover decorations you didn’t use and see if there’s anything suitable for the trail,’ I told her. ‘I think we’ll need to go to the garden centre and buy more things though. I’m going to do some sketching of what we want it to look like.’

  ‘We need an inflatable Santa!’

  ‘Start making a list,’ I replied to Izzy. ‘Come on, Mum. Let’s go and get Gran on board.’

  ‘An inflatable Santa?’ she hissed as we walked back towards the house. ‘Won’t that lower the tone?’

  ‘The kids will love it though,’ I said, biting back a laugh. Some things really did never change.

  We went upstairs to my gran’s room. She was propped up in bed holding a book, which she dropped onto her lap when we went in. She was looking more frail by the day, but she smiled when she saw me.

  ‘Hello, Beth,’ she breathed.

  ‘We are on a mission and we need your help,’ Mum said, going to sit in the chair by the bed. She nodded at me. ‘Beth, why don’t you tell her what’s been going on?’

  I told her about the council’s plans for Glendale: the fact that Heather was about to lose her job and the village was about to not only lose the library but its complete identity if the plan to turn the high street into flats went ahead. ‘We’ve decided we want to go and see the council to find out if there’s any way we can stop their plans. We also think if we can show them that there is a thriving community in Glendale, they might take us more seriously. So, we’ve decided to make a Christmas trail in the garden here.’

  ‘I missed all the events we used to have here. The garden parties every summer… the whole village would come. A trail, a trail would be wonderful.’ She looked at me. ‘I think this is a great idea. We were once right in the centre of things in Glendale. Ever since the Hall was built really but we’ve let that slide. Let the village fall around us. You’re right, Beth, we have to fight for it. My father would have been mortified to see us turn our backs like we have. And my grandfather… he built this house and this family to be a prominent part of the community here.’

  ‘You’re right – we’ve neglected the village,’ Mum said. ‘I have turned a blind eye to things for years because I was too worried about what people thought of us. Walking down the high street today was depressing. Glendale used to be thriving, and I think it could be again.’

  ‘I think you need to try to do all you can,’ Gran agreed. ‘I want to help. Let me pay for everything you need.’

  ‘That’s very generous, mother,’ my mum said in surprise.

  ‘What’s the point of hanging on to all my money now,’ she said with a weak attempt at a smile.

  ‘Thank you, Gran,’ I said.

  She looked at me. ‘I know how much Isabelle loves it here. We’re doing this for her and for her generation. I wish I had known about all of this sooner, before I became stuck in this godforsaken bed.’

  ‘I just accepted what David said,’ Mum said with her head down. ‘I don’t know why I didn’t try to get involved more. I have had my head stuck in the sand for far too long. About a lot of things.’

  Gran sighed. ‘I can never change what I did in the past, but I hope you’ll let me help you both do this. Maybe I can make some amends for everything that happened. I am truly sorry.’

  ‘I know you are,’ I conceded. I didn’t doubt her sincerity, but I wished it hadn’t come so late. My mum and I had lost a lot of time being angry with each other, and my daughter had missed out on having a family around her. And Drew had missed out on everything. I knew that my gran wanted me to say that I forgave her, but I wasn’t ready for that yet. ‘I’m glad we know the truth now. And I am
happy we are going to work on saving Glendale together.’ That was the best I could do for her right now. She nodded as if she understood that.

  ‘I’m proud of you both,’ Gran said. It was something that she never would have thought to say before, I knew that. She was trying now. We all were, I supposed. I did feel a lot of sympathy for her. She was bedridden and would be watching us build this trail from her room. I couldn’t begin to imagine what it was like for her.

  ‘Right, I better get this meeting with the council set up,’ Mum said, getting up.

  I followed her out, thinking about how much had changed in such a short time in our family. There had been so many years of misunderstandings between us, but now we knew the truth, we had a chance to fix all of that.

  I was still angry with Gran, though. I thought of Drew then, and how he must feel the same about me: could either of us forgive the mistakes that had been made? We were caught up, still, in the pain of the past. I wasn’t sure if we could let it go. But I also knew that we would only end up hurting ourselves if we didn’t. Forgiveness was as much about you as it was the person you forgave.

  We all needed to focus on the future. I just wished that I knew if that was something we’d be able to do.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I sat beside Izzy’s bed that night. I watched her climb under the covers, pulling a book onto her lap for her usual bedtime reading. I hadn’t seen her with a book all day, she was as excited as all of us about creating this trail, and it made me happy to see her enjoying being with the family. Though I couldn’t help but think about what I overheard between her and Drew.

  ‘Iz, you know that you and Drew were talking about what you love about Harry Potter? Well, I heard you talking about your red hair…’

  Izzy bit her lip and looked down at her book.

  I put my hand on hers. ‘Have people been giving you a hard time at school?’ She nodded, and I felt my heart break a little bit. ‘Oh, love, why wouldn’t you tell me about that?’

  She sighed. ‘I didn’t want you to worry. You worry about so much, Mum.’

  ‘Izzy, listen to me, I always want to know everything that’s going on with you. I don’t want you to keep anything from me. I want you to be happy, that’s all I care about. And when you tell me something, we can sort it out together so neither of us have to worry about it. Okay?’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘You promise me, Iz? You’ll tell me if something like that happens again?’

  Izzy nodded. ‘I promise.’

  ‘And when we go back home, we’re going to sort it out. I’m going to make sure no one upsets you again.’

  ‘I wish we didn’t have to go back to London. I really like it here,’ she said, lying down under the covers. ‘I’m tired. I don’t think I need to read.’

  ‘Okay,’ I said, her words having stung me. I got up and leaned down to kiss her. ‘You have sweet dreams. And tomorrow we’re going to see your dad on his farm, so that will be fun, won’t it?’

  ‘I hope I get to feed some animals.’

  ‘I think you will.’ I turned off her light. ‘I love you, Izzy.’

  ‘Love you too, Mum.’

  I slipped out and went into my bedroom, sinking down onto my bed in the darkness, Izzy’s words ringing in my ears. Had I really been so caught up with day-to-day survival that I’d missed just how much Izzy didn’t like school? I knew she didn’t have lots of friends, but I hadn’t realised that she was being picked on, enough to make her wish she wouldn’t have to go back in the new year. I sighed. Why couldn’t I protect her from everything?

  I hated that she felt she had to keep it from me, worried that I had enough on my plate to deal with. I didn’t want her to feel that way again. I wanted her to tell me everything. There were just sixteen years between us. Sometimes that felt like a lot but sometimes it felt like it was nothing. It often seemed like we were sisters, not mother and daughter, but Izzy needed to feel like she could just be a child and not try to deal with things on her own.

  Coming to Glendale Hall was helping that, I could see it already. I felt like I could take a breath here and she was free to enjoy herself. I was determined to make this our best Christmas yet. Izzy deserved it. I hoped the house would continue to work its magic on all of us. I turned to look at the window and saw large white flakes floating down, as if it was promising to do just that.

  * * *

  We drove through the Fraser Farm gates and I felt the same jolt as I had the last time. Izzy let out a gasp from the back, and I looked across at Heather who gave me a reassuring smile. The two of us had spent a lot of time there as teenagers so it was surreal to be back there together. I had invited Heather to come to lunch with me after dropping Izzy off to be with Drew so I wouldn’t spend the time worrying about how it was going. Plus, Mum had secured us a meeting with the council, and we needed to plan for that.

  ‘Look, Mum,’ Izzy said, pointing out of the window. We passed a pen of sheep, huddled together at the entrance to a barn, keeping out of the cold wind, and opposite them two horses draped in blankets were eating from a trough of hay. We twisted down the gravel track towards the farmhouse.

  ‘Don’t suppose you see anything like this in London, Iz,’ Heather said.

  ‘No way,’ she replied. ‘Just pigeons.’ We laughed, and some of the nerves in the car evaporated a little.

  As we pulled up, the door opened, and Drew and Rory came out. Standing together you could see how alike they were with their tall, broad frames and auburn hair. Rory was slightly shorter, although he was older, and had a beard. Drew lifted his hand in a wave. They both wore jeans, wellies and thick jumpers ready for farm work.

  ‘Hi, guys,’ Drew said as we climbed out of the car. ‘Ready to see the farm, Iz?’

  ‘Definitely,’ she said, hurrying over to him. They looked at one another, a little bit unsure what to do, but Drew held out his arms and she gave him a hug. I had to look away to compose myself.

  ‘This is your Uncle Rory,’ Drew said to her.

  ‘Hey, kid. Welcome to the farm. You ready to feed some animals?’ Rory asked her. She nodded and he held out his hand for a high five, which she gave him. Rory looked at us then. ‘You stalking me again, Heath?’

  ‘You wish. I’m taking this one for lunch,’ she said, nodding to me. She smiled at Rory, though, and I wondered if she’d spent more time with him over the years than I knew.

  ‘You should stay here,’ he replied. ‘We’ve got a feast prepared, and we could always do with more hands. Don’t you think, Drew?’

  Drew’s eyes met mine. ‘Uh, sure. You should stay,’ he said.

  I smiled, wishing that I wasn’t worried about the memories that might come back being with Drew on the farm again.

  ‘Please, Mum,’ Izzy begged then, so I had to agree.

  ‘I’m so not wearing the right shoes for farm work,’ Heather said, pointing down to her heeled boots. ‘But I’ll watch.’

  Rory rolled his eyes. ‘Why am I not surprised? Come on, Izzy, let’s show her what real work looks like.’ Rory, Drew and Izzy began to walk around the back of the house.

  Heather slipped her arm through mine. ‘You okay with staying?’

  ‘It’s just crazy to be back here,’ I replied as we set off after them.

  ‘I know what you mean. Remember that summer you were with Drew, we were here practically every day? It seems like a lifetime ago but also like it was yesterday. They seem to be getting on great,’ she added in a low voice as we watched Drew open a gate to let Izzy through to the field.

  ‘They are a lot alike. I’m so happy that they are getting on so well, but it hurts too. I try not to think about what might have been but…’ I leaned on the fence, Heather beside me, as we watched Drew and Rory show Izzy the cows and the sheep. The smile on her face was amazing to see. ‘I made the wrong choice back then, didn’t I?’

  Heather thought for a moment. ‘Maybe there wasn’t a right or wrong choice, you know? You made the one
you thought you had to. You can’t change it, hun. They’re together now, aren’t they?’

  I nodded but I wondered if I’d ever be able to let go of the guilt I felt. I had tried so hard to do the right thing, but perhaps what Heather said was true and it wasn’t possible in that situation to do the right thing, only what your heart told you to do at the time. I was only sixteen, too. I had a second chance now, and this time I was determined to get it right.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  We all trooped into the farmhouse at lunchtime, hungry after a couple of hours spent outside. Izzy had loved watching them move the sheep to another field. She had helped collect the eggs from the hens and had squealed when a couple decided to chase her. Drew had ended up picking her up and running away with her. They had such an easy way with one another already. Rory had got the tractor out then and given Izzy a ride around the back of the farmhouse on it.

  I left them to go to the bathroom. When I came out, I passed a row of photos stuck to the wall. I looked at Drew’s graduation photo. Him in a cap and gown, gripping his diploma, a grin on his face. He looked so happy in the picture. He had become a doctor. His dream had come true. Like I had wanted it to. Maybe it wasn’t black and white, like Heather said, maybe there really hadn’t been a right choice for me back then. I really wasn’t sure any more.

  ‘Hey,’ a soft voice said. I turned to see Rory watching me. ‘I went over to see him graduate. I had almost burst with pride.’

  ‘I bet,’ I replied with a smile. ‘Your parents would have been so proud.’

  Rory nodded. ‘Drew told me that was part of the reason you didn’t tell him about Izzy. I get it, Beth. Maybe more than he does right now. I worked so hard after they died to make sure he still went to university. He wanted to stay, you know, and help me run the farm but I told him there was no way he was doing that. I miss him like hell, but I know I was right to make him go.’

  I looked at Rory. I had always liked him, but we’d never shared a heart to heart or anything. He had just been my boyfriend’s brother who liked to tease me and joke about us being so in love it made him feel sick. His words touched me then, though, more than he probably knew.