How to Catch an Earl with Ten Lies: A Historical Regency Romance Novel

by Patricia Haverton

  “When can you have it ready?” Timothy asked.

  “When? Well, My Lord, I believe we could have it for you by Sunday next, especially if you do not mind paying my apprentices a little extra to inspire them.”

  “Of course not,” Timothy kept his voice smooth, and refrained from gritting his teeth.

  “Are you in search of a wife, My Lord?” asked the tailor with a little smirk.

  Insulant cur! If I did not need this coat so badly I would be tempted to run him through. “You might say that. A certain lady has caught my eye, and I must impress her guardian.”

  “We shall do our very best for you, My Lord. Perhaps you could call back on Friday next so that we could do final fittings and make any needed changes before Sunday.”

  “An excellent thought. I will see you then. You need not see me out. I will find my own way.”

  Out on the street, Timothy could barely refrain from whistling. It was a bad habit that gave away his anticipation of a good outcome, his old fencing master had told him.

  Yes, I have some courting to do. Some courting, some scheming, and a retribution long past due. Now that Newhorn is back in London I can carry out a vengeance long delayed. He thinks to find a wife, does he? Well, I can turn that to my advantage.

  He twitched his shoulders, feeling the muscles pull over the scar tissue that had healed, but had never been quite right. Yes, he had some scheming to do, and he would lay his plans very, very well.

  Chapter 18

  Horace got out of the phaeton at the front door of Bastion, Bastion, and Harrington. Harrington and his wife had been friends of the family since Horace and his older brother had been at boarding school. He had been glad when Miss Harrington, Harrington’s niece, had taken Edith under her wing, for it had relieved Penelope who had taken her sister in charge from the time they were in the nursery.

  Now, he scarcely knew what to think. Did Penelope not realize that there was scarcely a nobleman anywhere who did not have some sort of youthful escapade in his past?

  The world was a miserable place, and today he felt its miseries more than he usually did. Well, there was nothing for it but to go in and discuss what he might do next.

  “Good day, My Lord,” Bastion greeted him cheerfully. “And how goes your negotiation with Lord Newhorn?”

  “Well enough, I think. It is the negotiation with my nieces that is giving me trouble.”

  “What? Neither of them are willing to be wed to a handsome man like Lord Newhorn? It is not as if you were asking them to tie the knot with some dotard with liver spots and a bowed spine.”

  “Nor would I. But my oldest niece somehow caught wind of that old duel and realized that it was the litigation over that which kept Lord Newhorn on the continent for so many years.”

  “Yes, well, indeed,” Bastion fiddled with an untrimmed pen on his desk. “Do your nieces understand that a portion of your business arrangement with Lord Newhorn is contingent upon his marrying one of them? While I would not want to put undue pressure upon you, My Lord, your creditors are not going to hold off much longer. Although the estates cannot be sold, your household goods can be confiscated, and you, yourself, can be thrown into debtors’ prison.”

  “Do you truly think this is likely, Bastion?”

  The man of business shrugged. “Possibly not. A judge might decide that your brother’s debts should die with him. But do you truly want to take that chance? I know just how you have scrimped and saved just to give the two girls a season or two. Unfortunately, neither of them are such great beauties that they can overcome their lack of a dowry.”

  “I have failed them,” Horace said, looking down at his hands. “I have done my best to shield them from the cruel realities of the world, and I have simply left them vulnerable.”

  “Say it not so,” Bastion reassured him. “On the contrary, you have raised them, educated them and given these young ladies a chance to make advantageous alliances. You have hardly failed them. Say, rather, that your brother failed them.”

  “I will hear nothing against my brother,” Horace said. “Geoffrey was steadily pulling the estates out of debt, a mess that our father had made.”

  Bastion shook his head. “It does seem that there have been several improvident Castlemounts. I must admit, I admire your willingness to let the country estates. It cannot be that pleasant to remain in London during the summer.”

  “It has allowed the girls to circulate among the Ton. I will admit, I had hoped for better results.”

  “I believe Lord Newhorn will be with us shortly. We shall soon learn what his impressions of your niece have been. Meanwhile, I shall send one of the clerks out for tea. I suspect that our negotiations will be thirsty work.”

  At that very moment, Lord Newhorn tapped lightly at the door. “Ah, you are here before me, Castlemount. Are you so eager then to be rid of one of your nieces?”

  “Not to be rid of, but to see one of them established in her own home, yes, I am eager for that.”

  “I’m glad to hear it, for I am quite impressed with Miss Edith. She seems a lady of great sense, yet is not lacking in sensibility. It might take me a little while to win her over, but I am prepared to go forward with our business arrangement.”

  “What if she refuses you?” Horace asked, thinking about the scene at the breakfast table that very morning.

  “I could scarcely hold you accountable for that, nor shall I. It seems to me that our arrangement will be of great mutual benefit. I have need of more pastures in which to run my horses, and you need to replenish the tenants on your farms. If I send my handlers along to tend the horses, I believe that both our needs will have been met. If the lady determines that I am not worthy, we shall still have mutually beneficial arrangement.”

  Horace let out a breath he had not realized that he was holding. “You, Lord Newhorn, are an exceptional gentleman.”

  “Come, come, Lord Castlemount, you could scarcely believe that I would insist upon one of your nieces as part of our bargain?”

  “It has been done.”

  “And so it has. My sister . . . it was in a fit of anger that she put her horse at a gate she knew he would refuse. I will tell you truly, that I believe it was her so-called betrothed who was responsible for causing her death. Indeed, I have recently learned . . . I will own, however, that my sister was often both reckless and foolhardy. Be that as it may, I would certainly like to continue paying court to your niece.”

  “To be sure, you may,” Horace replied. “I would be glad for one of them to make such a fine marriage.”

  “It is kind of you to say so, Lord Castlemount. Now, are you still willing to go forward with the other matter?”

  “I am. Filling the tenancies will repair matters over time, but I do have need of more immediate funds.”

  “Then shall we draw up the business papers, m’lords?”

  “Yes, yes,” Lord Newhorn said. “I am quite anxious to get my horses settled.”

  “And I would be glad to have the vacant tenancies filled,” Horace added.

  “I have ordered tea,” Bastion said. “If the two of you would like to talk among yourselves, I will go have a clerk make copies so that the agreement can be signed.”

  “Excellent,” said Lord Newhorn. “I could do with a bit of tea.”

  “So what kind of horses is it that you are raising?” Horace asked, casting about for a topic to fill the waiting time.

  “Walkers,” Lord Newhorn replied. “They make excellent horses for ladies, and are superb carriage horses. Properly trained, they have a gait as smooth as a rocking chair. Since they walk, rather than run, they can go quite a distance before you will need a change of horses.”

  “Excellent!” Horace replied.

  The tea arrived, and the gentlemen focused on drinking the hot beverage. It was not the best tea he had ever had, Horace noted, but under the circumstances the flavor was wonderful.

  When Lord Newhorn departed, Bastion said to Horace, “You do re
alize, My Lord, that while this will enable you to pay down the debt, you will still need to come up with some other resources. But I think I can use your prospects as a means to stall the creditors.”

  “Is it so?” Horace asked. “I am still in arrears?”

  “I’m afraid so, Lord Castlemount.” Bastion drew a long face. “But,” he added more cheerfully, “the marriage of one of your nieces to such a wealthy man as Lord Newhorn should help you come about.”

  Horace looked at Bastion in horror. Have I truly gone so deeply into debt? I thought that by now I should be pulling out of debt, and have much of my late father’s excesses repaired.

  Chapter 19

  The minute the cat was released from the basket, he shot out of it and immediately hid under the desk. It was clear that the basket was never going to be fit for carrying food again.

  “He is a lively little thing,” Mrs. Albright remarked. “I can see that you were taking good care of him, in spite of his current state.If you will kindly set the basket beside the door, we can discuss what is really needed here.”

  “It is a huge tangle,” said the talkative Miss Chapman. “I think it would take all afternoon to explain the whole of it. The short version is that one or both of us must wed well, and soon. Once that has happened, there is a good chance that the married sister could keep the cat with her and the other would be able to come visit it.”

  “I don’t wish to be wed now at all,” whispered the other Miss Chapman. “Or at least not right now.”

  The blond youth, who somehow looked familiar to Mrs. Albright, said, “You see, the thing is that this Miss Chapman,” and he indicated Edith, “and I have become quite fond of each other. It is our hope that when I have completed reading at law with my father’s firm that I can establish my own practice and we can be wed. Right now, I don’t have the funds to even rent respectable rooms for a wife and a cat.”

  “Nor will you for quite some time,” concluded Mrs. Albright. “I take it, then,” she addressed the talkative Miss Chapman, “That you will need to be the one who will be wed, and that when that happens, you wish to take the cat?”

  “Not wish to, precisely. But it will be four years before my sister can take him, providing she and Mr. Harrington can carry out their plans.”

  Mrs. Albright sighed. What babes in the woods. “So, if I can find someone willing to care for the cat, who will pay for its upkeep?”

  “I will,” chorused the four young people. Then they promptly fell to squabbling about who would take charge of the cat’s care.

  Since it was far beneath the dignity of her position as headmistress of a school and manager of an agency to roll her eyes at the antics of these well-born youngsters, she clapped her hands together sharply to get their attention. They all stopped talking at once, and turned to her.

  “I have a better idea,” Mrs. Albright said. “Are any of you willing to work for your kitten’s upkeep?”

  “Yes!” Again, there was that confident chorus.

  Mrs. Albright was far from sure about their ability to stick with anything beyond the moment. Her experience with the Ton led her to believe that they were a flighty lot, rarely to be trusted with any responsibility. The one exception to that is Lord Newhorn. Even when he was fleeing prosecution, he thought of me.

  “I have a client who recently lost her beloved cat. She is an older lady, who is quite beside herself with grief and it is proving a worry to her family. Do you think you could bear to give up your kitten to bring solace to her?”

  There was a prolonged silence, wherein three of the young gentlefolk turned to look at the shy Miss Chapman. She colored up to her hairline, and two tears rolled down her face. “Yes,” she whispered. “If he will be safe there.”

  “Now, the lady in question could also use some kind, responsible social interaction. If you could go around once a day and visit with her, you would also be able to visit with your cat. The fee that you might earn acting as a companion for an hour or two would be offset by the cost of the upkeep of the cat. Do you think you could do this?”

  The shy Miss Chapman wiped at her eyes with her hand, the talkative Miss Chapman produced a large, sensible handkerchief and handed it to the shy one. “I think that would serve admirably,” she said.

  “No courting at the lady’s house, now, mind you. You would call upon her just as you might an elderly relative. I will arrange for introductions. Her youngest granddaughter is a student here at the school. You have arrived in the nick of time, for most of the paid students will soon go on holiday so that they can go to the country with their families.”

  The talkative Miss Chapman took notice of this. “Some of your students do not pay?”

  “I have a certain number of charity students,” Mrs. Albright admitted. “Not as many as I would like to be able to offer opportunity, but a good few. Since my resources are limited, I must balance my paid students with charity students that all may be served.” And some of my paid students are in greater need of my help than the charity students, poor mites.

  Mr. Harrington, who looked immeasurably relieved, said, “Thank you so much for your kindness. Would it be permitted for the young ladies to remain here to meet the client? I am already late getting back to my work. I do not wish to lose my place.”

  “I commend you for your responsibility,” said Mrs. Albright. “Of course they can remain here. I see they have a maid and two footmen to see them home. If needed, I can call up a carriage.”

  “Thank you,” said Mr. Harrington. “Will the three of you feel comfortable with that?” he asked, addressing the young ladies.

  “Of course,” said the talkative Miss Chapman. “We have been quite enough trouble to you for one day.”

  Mr. Harrington bowed. “I am glad to have been of service.” At that point, he quickly made his escape.

  “Who is the lady?” asked Miss Harrington, who seemed to view the whole thing as a grand adventure.

  “She might be known to you, Lady Agatha Johnson. She is a friend of a friend of Lady Jersey. She has become rather frail, and does not go about much these days. Truly, you will be doing her a great kindness to call upon her.”

  “The poor, dear lady,” whispered the shy Miss Chapman. “I will be so glad to wait upon her.”

  Chapter 20

  Benjamin turned away from the bottom of the steps and considered what to do next. Clearly, there would be no further flirting or courting this day, at least not with the young lady who was beginning to deeply appeal to him.

  He turned, and sauntered down the street in the direction of his club. In spite of the puddles, the day was turning out to be quite fine. Benjamin hummed an old country tune beneath his breath. He nearly chuckled out loud when he realized that he was humming, “Sweet Lass of Richmond Hill,” a song that had been a favorite of George III.

  I need not wait for a chance encounter in the park. I can send my card around this afternoon, and invite her to a picnic. Perhaps I should time it for tomorrow. I do not want to pressure her.

  He was so engaged in mentally composing the note to “Edith”, that he nearly bumped into the Earl of Steelfrost. That worthy simply growled at him, and stepping around him, continued down the steps of the club.

  Benjamin looked after the Earl in surprise, but went on into his club. The shade from the upper balcony seemed exceptionally welcome, as the sun had come out and was warming things up quite nicely.

  Benjamin’s club had once been a very grand townhouse. The front approach was all marble. Stately columns rose from either side of the front entrance to support a grand balcony that looked out over the street.

  In the lobby area, there was a wide, sweeping tall desk, behind which were a variety of cubbies where notes could be left. The uniformed attendant behind the desk swept a quick bow in Benjamin’s direction, but made no move to flag him down or redirect his attention in any way.

  Benjamin handed over his greatcoat, hat, and cane, then went on into the billiards room. There, h
e was pleased to discover one of the gentlemen who had visited him.

  “Berty!” he exclaimed.

  Sir Bertram Johnson the Third was knocking balls about the billiards table. “Benji!” that worthy cried, “Sorry that our first re-acquaintance after your return should have been so somber. But,” he brightened, “here you are! It is very good to see you in better circumstances!” Johnson put down his pool cue, and strode over, his hand out to shake Benjamin’s.

  “Good to see you, Berty!” Benjamin allowed his hand to be pumped up and down. “I’ve thought about you, but the mail has been uncertain and I had no idea what you might be doing.”

  “Just taking care of the old place. Pater took in Aunt Agatha a month or so ago, after my uncle passed on.”