A Pinch of Moonlight

by A V Awenna

  ***

  Vicky finally got away from her mum, and back to Blackbird, taking a banana to share. His skin was still cold, so she invited him to sit on her shoulder for warmth, and he made himself comfortable, wrapped in the silk scarf, his back against her neck, the collar of her dressing gown pulled over his lap. She decided to be bold, and ask a question.

  ‘Tell me something. How do you survive the winter when a summer storm nearly kills you? Do you hibernate?’

  ‘I don’t know how I’ll survive the winter,’ he said. ‘I may not.’

  ‘But I thought you were centuries old,’ Vicky said.

  ‘I am. I’m as old as a big oak tree. But I wasn’t always this tiny, helpless thing. I used to be strong, but now I’m at the mercy of everything. Cats, owls, the weather. I could drown in a puddle.’

  ‘What do you mean, you weren’t always so tiny?’ Vicky asked.

  ‘I should be your size. I used to change shape – be a bird, or make myself tiny, for a little while, but my true shape is man-sized.’ He sighed, and leaned against her neck. She could feel his pulse beating against hers. After a pause he said, ‘This is my punishment, Vicky. They couldn’t kill me – it’s against our ways – so they made me so small and weak anything else could. And took away the skill to change back.’ He fell silent again. It wasn’t the kind of silence that invited her to speak.

  She was starting to understand it now – why he was so different from the way Demi-Lee remembered him, why the fun-loving trickster had been replaced with this gloomy, brooding creature. She considered the reality of his existence – forced to depend on others for survival, living rough, scavenging for food, wearing the same filthy rags every day, and all the while having to pretend he didn’t need them or anyone. She blinked away a tear.

  ‘You can sleep here tonight, Blackbird,’ she said. ‘I’ll put fresh cotton wool in the basket. And tomorrow I’ll get you some more clothes. Lots of them. And I’ll bring you bananas and honey for breakfast. I’ll take care of you, I promise. I’ll make sure you’re never cold or hungry or in pain ever again if I can help it.’

  ‘That’s a big promise,’ Blackbird replied. ‘You don’t know how big. My life is yours now. And I promise you a thousand favours.’

  Vicky remembered her warning to Demi-Lee about making promises. What kind of responsibility had she just taken on? Oh, well, too late to take it back now, she thought.

  Although his skin was against hers, Vicky couldn’t see Blackbird, and maybe this was encouraging him to open up. ‘If you’re in the mood to be nice’, she said, ‘maybe you can tell me what happened. What did you do that needs forgiveness? And, tell me, what happened to your wings?’

  ‘Torn off. In a fight.’

  Vicky’s eyes widened. ‘That must have been one hell of a fight.’

  ‘It was. He thought I’d done something I hadn’t. And he forgot how fragile fairy wings are. And I fought back and damaged him, and because of that I was exiled. I should have been more careful.’

  Vicky was confused. Why was he accepting all the blame, whilst claiming innocence? Who was this person he’d crossed, to make him do that? She asked him, as tactfully as she could.

  Blackbird sighed deeply. He said nothing for a while, but Vicky knew better than to press him for an answer. Eventually he spoke.

  ‘The one I fought was Tefyn, First Citizen of Annwn. He’s a good man, but you don’t want to cross him. He’d been in Terra – this world – looking for something, some special crystals which store sunlight. I should have gone with him – I was his fastest flyer, his best messenger. I never got tired or gave up, not if it was for Tefyn. But he wanted me to stay in Annwn to keep his wife company, and safe from her enemies. We got a lot of enemies in Annwn, Pefryn and me. She’s my cousin, we came to Annwn together when we were younger, and she ended up marrying Tefyn. But she’s a fairy, and that was a big deal for a lot of those elves in Annwn.’

  ‘So this Tefyn is an elf?’ Vicky asked.

  ‘Sure, he’s First Citizen, like I said, the leader. But he loves Pefryn. That’s a whole lot of other stories there, but don’t got time to tell them now. So I stayed in Annwn with Pefryn, while Tefyn was away in Terra.’

  ‘Why didn’t your cousin go with her husband? If she’s anything like you I can’t imagine her staying home doing embroidery. That’s this kind of thing.’ Vicky indicated the embroidered edging on her pillowcase.

  Blackbird snorted. ‘She don’t spend time on that, no. She wanted to go with Tefyn, all three of us wanted to go together. Between us, we could do near everything. But Hafren wouldn’t allow it. Said it wasn’t right for the Lady of Annwn to be out getting in danger.’

  ‘Who’s Hafren?’ Vicky asked.

  Blackbird seemed to growl before he answered, ‘A high-placed elf – the Chancellor of Annwn, second highest after Tefyn. He hates Pefryn and me. Hates all fairies, but hates us most, because we’re not from Annwn, we’re from the Eastlands, and because our places are too high for his liking. I don’t know why he wanted us to stay in Annwn - I would have thought he’d be happy not to look at us for a while, but I guess he just wanted to make Tefyn and Pefryn unhappy by keeping them apart.

  ‘Tefyn was away for three whole moons. It was full summer when he left – the worst time, it gets so hot. Me and Pefryn, we don’t like the summer in Annwn. Your summer is much nicer – lots of daylight, but warm, not like a fire. So we were stuck inside, hiding from the sun, getting bored and trying not to fight with each other. Pefryn at least had work to do, but I had nothing to do except follow her around and try to amuse her in the evening.

  ‘So, when one of the staff brought a message from Tefyn that he would return in the morning we were so, so happy.’ He fell silent again as he remembered...

  They had been playing at cards when the messenger approached. They could have played chess, but it was too slow to hold Blackbird’s interest; besides, playing a simple game allowed them to gossip rather than concentrating.

  ‘My Lady’, said the messenger, ‘we have received news from your husband. All are well. They are nearby, and will return to Annwn in the morning.’

  The fairies jumped up and hugged each other.

  ‘That’s wonderful news,’ Pefryn said. ‘Sweet sunlight; I’m so relieved. Thank you for the message. Would you go to the kitchens and ask them to be up early to bake all my husband’s favourite things for breakfast.’

  ‘Make sure there’s plenty of sweet fruit and honey,’ Blackbird added.

  Blackbird teased Pefryn once they were alone again. ‘You’ve missed him, haven’t you? That big, strong husband of yours.’

  ‘You’ve been good company, cousin, and I know I haven’t been easy to entertain, but it will be good to have him back,’ Pefryn said.

  ‘Hah, I doubt if I’ll see you for a while once he’s here. Doubt if any of us will see either of you,’ Blackbird teased.

  ‘Stop it now’ Pefryn said. ‘You’re making me blush!’

  Blackbird had an idea. ‘Should we fly tonight? Who knows when we’ll next have the chance. And it’ll remind you of what you’re missing when I’m not around.’

  Pefryn smiled. ‘One last flight. I will miss you, and I won’t totally disappear into my chambers once Tefyn is back.’

  Blackbird snorted meaningfully.

  ‘I’m glad he left you to guard me, not some pompous elf,’ Pefryn said. ‘Three moons of chess and poetry would have been unbearable. Let’s go for one last flight, then I’ll retire for the night. I want to be up early for him tomorrow.’

  ‘And I will sleep here, guarding your door, for the last time,’ Blackbird replied.

  He opened the door to the royal bedchamber, the room he had been charged to guard with his life for the past three moons, bowing low as he did so.

  Laughing, Pefryn bobbed a curtsey, then crossed to her balcony. ‘It’s a beautiful night,’ she said. ‘Look at
the stars! Shall we fly over the river?’

  ‘Let’s,’ said Blackbird. ‘Let’s go up to the snow fields. It’s not too far.’ A thought struck him. ‘Should we shape-shift? To avoid being recognised?’

  Pefryn gave her answer immediately. ‘No. We are doing nothing wrong. Besides, if anyone spots an eagle and a blackbird flying together, they will know it’s us.’

  It was true that when Pefryn shapeshifted, she was even more noticeable than in fairy form. Whereas Blackbird’s nickname reflected his typical shifted shape, Pefryn shifted to a huge bird of prey with sharp yellow talons, a cruel curved beak, and glaring golden eyes. It surprised those who didn’t realise her strength and determination, and judged her by her nickname, which roughly translated as ‘Sparkle’.

  Pefryn leapt gracefully onto the balustrade. Blackbird joined her, and they stood for a moment, beautifully balanced with their wings outstretched.

  ‘For the last time, then,’ Blackbird murmured.

  ‘For the last time. Or at least until my husband goes on another foolish quest.’

  Spreading her wings, Pefryn leapt from the balcony, and Blackbird followed. Silently they soared over the city. Once they crossed the river they rolled and dived through the air, playing tag and turning somersaults until they were exhausted. They collapsed into the snow, laughing as they tried to catch their breath. Out here there was nothing alive but themselves. Two friends, in the vast white silence of a moonlit snowfield.

  ‘We should return,’ said Pefryn.

  ‘He won’t be there yet,’ teased Blackbird.

  ‘Well maybe not, but I need to bathe before I greet him tomorrow. And I’ll need a good night’s sleep,’ Pefryn said.

  ‘Because you won’t be getting one for a long time!’

  Blackbird was still laughing as he leapt into the air, Pefryn chasing after him to swat him for his cheek.

  ‘You won’t catch me!’ he sang.

  They sped back to the city, to the First Citizen’s lodge, Blackbird allowing himself to be caught at the last moment so they were all tangled up together as they tumbled, gasping for breath, into the room.

  Tefyn was waiting for them.

  Pefryn leapt into her husband’s arms, but he threw her across the room, raining foul names upon her head.

  Blackbird was shocked, but as he noticed the changes to the room, he realised they’d been betrayed.

  They had left behind a respectable room and bed. But the bed they returned to had been pulled about to suggest someone had been making love in it, and worse still, there were dark feathers on the sheets – his feathers, shed in innocence but placed where they would incriminate him. He didn’t have time to notice the other touches – like the fact that his bedroll, on which he’d slept outside the door every night, had been thrown in a corner as if he’d never used it.

  All he could see was Tefyn advancing on him, fury in his eyes.

  Blackbird had never been a quick thinker. He didn’t want to fight with Tefyn, but he knew there wasn’t time to talk him out of his anger. Maybe if he flew out of the room and tried to reason with Tefyn where he couldn’t be reached … he turned and leapt onto the balcony.

  But as he spread his wings, Tefyn grabbed him, catching his left wingtip and dragging him back towards the room. For a moment he was framed in the window, precariously balanced, knowing something would have to give. It was his wing that gave way, snapping as Tefyn hauled him back into the room. Pefryn screamed and threw herself at Tefyn to restrain him. Blackbird was howling in pain and anger, trying to flex his injured wing. Tefyn pushed his wife away, and lifting Blackbird, hurled him against the wall, putting his full weight into the attack. The injured wing was twisted behind Blackbird; the fairy felt it crack and tear . And Tefyn had him pinned to the wall, choking the life out of him. As his life faded and darkness gathered, something began to blaze deep within him. He heard Tefyn’s cry of pain and slid down the wall as Tefyn released his grip. Blackbird lay at the elf’s feet, gasping for breath and burning, burning.

  Tefyn’s voice croaked an order: ‘Those wings will never heal. Kinder to sever them. Use iron.’

  Blackbird tried to protest but one of the guards put a foot on the fairy’s back, then took an iron knife from his belt and sliced Blackbird’s wings from his body. The only mercy was, as the iron pierced his skin, it sent Blackbird deep into oblivion.