by A V Awenna
Chapter 21. Everything’s Going to be Fine…
When Blackbird woke the next morning, he knew he’d had too much honey beer, but it was too late to undo the past. He’d slipped away from the formal celebrations late in the evening and been taken to the fairy performers’ party, where he’d been hailed as hero of the hour. Spirits had been high after the events of the day, especially Hafren’s humbling, and the honey beer had flowed. Most of the fairies had slept where they’d fallen, nesting on cushions or huddled under their wings. Blackbird had made it back to his bed – with company. He’d offered to walk her back through Annwn. She was a kitchen maid in one of the big elfish houses and needed to be at work early in the morning. She had taken his arm as they walked through the sleeping town, but he hadn’t wanted to take anything for granted.
She had paused as they reached the City Lodge, and asked, ‘Can I kiss you, Citizen Blackbird? Or am I too low for you.’
‘Would you ask for a kiss if I was still Nothing?’ he said.
‘I would,’ she replied. ‘I’m not interested in your Place. I always thought you were Tefyn’s spoilt little pet before your exile. I had no idea!’
‘You’ve a strange way with a compliment,’ Blackbird pouted.
The woman gave the tiniest of smiles. ‘You’re tough, and kind, you care about us little people, and you keep your promises. Besides, I don’t get much fun working all hours in the kitchens, and your lips look so soft.’
‘Yours too,’ he’d smiled.
They’d kissed then, outside the palace, then they’d slipped through the corridors to his rooms. But now she was slipping off the end of his bed, searching for her clothes in the silver moonlight, trying not to wake him. Watching her through half-open eyes, her pale skin shaded by her soft brown wings, he wanted more of her, but knew she had to go to her work. He’d have overlooked her in the past, but her spirit had intrigued him. And she had wanted him, and the memory of her body against his was so good it almost made him groan.
‘Are you going?’ he asked softly.
She looked up, and he caught the glint of moonlight in her eyes. ‘I was trying not to wake you. I have to be at the kitchens soon, or I’ll be in trouble.’
‘Don’t ever go without saying goodbye. But don’t get into trouble on my account.’ He slid off the bed. ‘I’ll help you with your dress. Thank you for last night.’
‘I don’t suppose you’ve been with a woman for a while?’ she said.
‘No, I haven’t. I was the size of a bird, remember, it wouldn’t have been possible.’
‘Well, you were pretty good considering. And you smell delicious.’
‘That’s rosewater. A gift from Terra some years ago.’ He fastened her halter neck as she held her hair out of the way. He considered kissing her neck, she was so close, he could smell the scent of her. But she needed to go. He fetched the rosewater and splashed some on her palms, encouraging her to dab it on her neck and chest.
‘Does all of Terra smell this delicious?’ she asked.
‘No,’ said Blackbird, ‘sadly not.’ He realised she’d never been to Terra, probably never even left the city. When would she have the time, a hard-working woman like her?
She was breathing in the scent of the flowers on her palms.
‘This will remind you of last night,’ he said. ‘You work at Madryn’s house, don’t you?’
‘Yes, but I doubt she knows that,’ she replied.
‘Be kind to her today. She’ll be in big trouble for disobeying her mother.’
‘That old dragon! Madryn wouldn’t have the guts.’
‘She did. You saw her at the celebration – she was there against all orders. And you were with that other group, weren’t you, with friends in the prison.’
‘I couldn’t believe it when she helped me take food to my brother. What’s happened to that girl? Something about her’s definitely changed.’
‘Let me walk you back,’ Blackbird said, ‘I’ll tell you on the way.’
He was still naked, and it was obvious how much he wanted her, but he managed to struggle back into his clothes. She couldn’t help giggling at him. ‘You’re the one who wants to leave,’ he huffed.
‘I’m sorry, I would stay longer, but I can’t,’ she sighed.
They walked through the back lanes to Madryn’s house, and he explained what he knew of Madryn’s recent experiences, and her growing disillusionment with Light of Truth.
As they approached the back gate, he felt he owed her an explanation. ‘I need to return to Terra once I’m fully recovered, and once I’m there I don’t know when I’ll be back. So if you want to see me again, you know where to find me, but I’m afraid I can’t promise too much. I really won’t be here more than a short while.’
‘Don’t forget me when you’re gone,’ she said.
‘I won’t…’, he hesitated, and knew he’d betrayed himself.
‘Robin,’ she said simply.
‘I didn’t even ask, did I?’ he said.
‘No. But no matter.’
‘“Reckless as a robin”. It suits you.’
‘I must go now.’ She kissed him, and gave him a blessing. ‘Go well, stay safe, until we meet again.’
He returned the blessing, then watched her walk to the back door of the house.
He knew he wouldn’t sleep, and he didn’t want to return to his bed, which smelt of this reckless woman. What a surprise to discover he was still desired! True, Robin was a kitchen maid and his place was so much higher than hers, but he knew that hadn’t been the reason. She would make a high place for herself somewhere, he knew that. But if Robin wanted him, maybe Vicky would want him too. He felt bad for cheating on Vicky, before remembering that so far their relationship was all in his head.
As he stepped into the moonlight he felt its power warm his skin, and was delighted to see his shadow was now sparkling with magic. It was the last day of the full moon, which was only a few hours from setting. He made a decision and set off towards the town walls, looking for the gap he and Pefryn had used earlier. For someone with fairy night vision and hearing, it wasn’t difficult. Once through the wall he followed the main route into the mountains, until he found the small path Tefyn had shown him, the one leading to the little cave with the crystals.
The moon was too low to illuminate the cave, but the crystals inside must have been in full sunlight earlier, as they were glowing with power. There were more broken pieces in the water, and he fished out the best of them. He sat for while on the ledge, trying to remember how to shape-shift. It used to be so easy, he’d flip from man to bird and back again, or change down to doll-size, they way he had when he’d first met Demali, and never worried that he couldn’t change back. There was a trick to keeping your natural shape in memory, so you could slip back into it without fuss. It had come easy as a reckless youth, but now the fear that he couldn’t change back chilled him.
Things had changed. He had lost his wings, his beautiful, swift wings, and it seemed he would never get them back. But he had gained a new Place, one that couldn’t be taken from him easily. And his new Place would benefit all the fairies of Annwn. And he was learning new tricks – diplomacy, tact, patience, responsibility. Sweet sunlight, was he growing up at last?
And… without wings, could he pass for human in Terra? That was the kind of idea you didn’t look full in the face, in case it ran away or bit you. It would be difficult, so difficult. He knew he looked different from most humans, but there were so many of them, they were so varied, another one would surely pass unnoticed. There would be much to learn, but he had willing teachers. Could he? Live in Terra? Not be judged a rebel or a hero, just another body, with magic he could use when no-one was watching.
It would be daylight soon. He undressed, and slipped into the warm pool, still scented with the herbs he’d tossed into it hours before.
The silhouette of the Eastern moun
tains could just be seen in the pre-dawn sky. The moon was approaching the rim of the Western mountains, and Annwn’s valley was now in deep shadow. He held the crystals up to the moonlight, and felt them absorb its power. The golden light of the setting moon was tinged with the resignation and wisdom of old age, and he knew who this magic was for. When the moon slipped behind the mountains he climbed out of the pool and back into his clothes. Tucking the crystals into his waistband, he took a long last look over the valley, then returned to the town.
A few nocturnal animals - bats, moths, little rustling rodents – were making the most of the last hour of night, whilst high on the mountain, the first blush of daylight touched the snowy peaks. As he returned to the town, late night became early morning, and the gates were opened. He made his way to Rusty’s home and found that, as expected, the old fairy was an early riser. Rusty was brewing an early morning tea, and preparing food for Tom Gently, who was already much taller.
Blackbird greeted them, adding, ‘You’re growing fast, Mr Gently.’
‘The world already looks smaller! It’s exhausting though! All I do is eat and sleep.’ Tom squeaked in his tiny voice.
‘He needs constant feeding, just like a baby bird,’ added Rusty
‘I’ve brought you something to help,’ Blackbird said. ‘Rusty, you should know how to use this – it’s a crystal full of moon energy. Should help you grow even faster, Tom, without tiring you out.’
‘Oh, that is kind of you, Blackbird. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble,’ Tom piped.
‘I know what it’s like to be small and helpless,’ Blackbird replied. ‘Always worried someone’s going to tread on you. This moon energy should help you grow back to man-sized in half the time – and it will waken any magic within you.’
‘Well, that would be exciting!’ Tom squeaked. ‘I had friends who tried to get me to use magic, but without success. Oh, thank you so much, Blackbird. Is there anything I can offer in return’
‘Stay and have breakfast with us.’ Rusty suggested. ‘We hear you’ve been in the thick of it since we last saw you. Tell us what really happened.’
‘Thank you,’ Blackbird said. ‘I never refuse food, you know that. Your brew smells delicious.’
Blackbird relaxed over breakfast with the two friends, filling them in on the previous day’s events. Despite their long separation, Tom and Rusty were wonderfully close, sharing private jokes and finishing each other’s sentences. There was such tenderness in the way Rusty broke the food into tiny pieces to feed Tom. Blackbird felt a touch guilty that he’d only agreed to bring Tom with him to get on Vicky’s good side. He made a silent vow to look after these two, and ask Pefryn to keep an eye on them when he went away – whenever that would be. Until then, it was agreed that Tom Gently would help Blackbird improve his English.
‘It will help you get along better if you return to Cardiff,’ Tom mused.
And maybe gain Vicky’s respect Blackbird thought.
