by A V Awenna
***
A few hours later Demi-Lee walked into the breakfast room at the City Lodge – so much grander than the Healer’s Lodge – and encountered a fully glamoured Blackbird. His hair glinted with copper and bronze, his eyelashes were long and dark, and his lips full and crimson. He was wearing another pair of skin-tight trousers, crimson like his lips, and a dusky pink tunic, with a few new neckpieces he’d made. Not the kind of look which would go unnoticed even in a place like Annwn.
She, on the other hand, was wearing her Newport clothes, washed and darned, with her hair scraped back in a ponytail. He gave her a puzzled look. ‘You can still wear your fairy dress, you know. And have your hair done up like last night. You don’t have to go back to looking ordinary.’
‘I do, though, don’t I? I can’t go around Newport all green and gold – people would throw stones at me. I’ll have to dress like this – like everyone else,’ Demi said gloomily.
‘That’s so sad. You looked fantastic last night – so powerful. You were really shining,’ Blackbird told her.
‘I felt like a superhero. But when I put it on this morning, I realised…’ her voice trailed off. ‘Guess it’s time to put my costume away, and hide my powers. And that sucks.’
‘Do they still burn witches in Terra?’ Blackbird asked.
‘No, they don’t believe in us any more. There’s a saying that no real witch would ever have allowed herself to get caught by witch finders. So I’ll have to hide my magic, because if I let people know what I am, it’ll freak them out completely.’
‘You can practise in secret,’ Blackbird said. ‘Or with Aelwen.’
‘But magic’s the only thing I’m any good at – that and herbs.’ Her voice was starting to crack, and she stopped talking before she started crying. Blackbird put his hand on her shoulder, and she felt the comforting spell he wove around her. ‘Aelwen will help you. And Vicky and Heledd know you’re a witch, so you can share your thoughts with them.’
‘And Owina. We swapped emails – that’s human magic, a way to communicate around the world. She knows some witches’ networks I can join, and she wants me to go visit her. I told her I don’t have a passport, but she said the nixies would take me.’
‘See? It’s not so bad,’ he soothed.
‘Oh, but it is. I want to go home, but I want to show people what I can do. I don’t want to just be some stupid kid in a nowhere town with this big secret I have to keep hidden.’ She gave Blackbird a beseeching look. ‘Won’t you at least come back with me? Just for a few days?’
‘I can’t come with you,’ he said. ‘You know I can’t. Tefyn won’t let me leave Annwn until I can shape-shift again. It’s not possible.’
‘Blackbird, what is it with you?’ Demi said. ‘Don’t you realise you can just walk out – he can’t stop you. We could leave now, skip the official committee.’
‘Absolutely not!’ Blackbird said. ‘Tefyn is my friend, and the leader here, and I won’t undermine him any further. I know I can just walk out, he made me a Citizen so I have the right. But it’s not fear of Tefyn that stops me – it’s respect. Ignoring his wishes would be the gravest insult – and why would I do that after all he’s been through? Showing respect to Tefyn is the best way of using my higher place – and if that makes no sense to you, please just accept it.’
‘Can’t you just shapeshift then?’ she pleaded. ‘You used to be brilliant at it!’
‘No.’ Blackbird had been glaring at Demi-Lee, but as soon as she made her suggestion he turned away.
‘But you’ve got your magic back. Surely it’ll be easy?’
Blackbird took a deep breath and shuddered. ‘No. I can’t even think about it.’
Demi-Lee was about to argue, but realised it was no use. If she pushed him any more he’d just freak out, that was obvious. He was still being really pathetic, though – it was just a spell, and he’d done it loads of times. It was like that teacher who was knocked off his bike by a joyrider and went into a cold sweat whenever he heard someone revving an engine. But what if Blackbird never came back to her world? That would be unbearable. She tried to think what Heledd would do if she were there – Heledd was so good at calming people. ‘Sorry Blackbird,’ she said, ‘don’t get stressed, I’ll just miss you, that’s all.’
‘I’ll miss you too. You’ll do great things, Demali, but have patience. Enjoy being a girl a while longer.’
She untied her ponytail.
‘Will you do my hair for me, like it was last night?’
‘Of course.’ His smile returned.
‘Then I’m going to put my new dress on. I’ll change into these things when I get back to the Grove.’
‘Let’s go back to your room. I’ll need to comb your hair through.’
The brief walk back to Demi-Lee’s guestroom helped them both calm down. As he combed her hair with a wooden comb, Blackbird began to speak in a low voice.
‘You got to be careful when you shape-shift. If you don’t hold the memory of your true shape, you’ll never change back. And afterwards you feel like you’ve been stretched and squashed all over. When Hafren shrank me he was as rough as he could be. Just thinking of it makes me feel…’ he fell silent and shook his head.
‘I’m sorry Blackbird. Does that mean you’ll never leave Annwn?’
‘Give me time. The healers will help me face the fear, I’m sure. But I’m so, so tired, Demali. I can’t run on youth and hope the way you do. And you know you can return here whenever you want.’
‘If I can find some nixies to bring me,’ she replied. ‘The only portal I know is the one near Vicky, and that’s miles from where I live.’
‘We will meet again, Demali,’ he said. ‘But you need to go home. And make sure you apologise to Vicky. She’ll have plucked herself bald with worrying.’
‘She doesn’t have feathers you know!’ Demi laughed. ‘But she’s gonna be so angry with me. So I’ll definitely wear the fairy dress – that should make her realise I’ve changed, grown up a bit.’
‘You’ve grown up a lot. I hope you realise how special you are here. But don’t grow up too quickly – youth is a precious thing.’
‘Old people always say that,’ she said.
‘And young people never listen,’ he replied. ‘But let’s not argue. Maybe if you take something from me to Vicky – a gift and a message – it will distract her from shouting at you. I know how fierce she can be.’
‘A cunning plan. I like. And my hair looks great. Now will you go outside while I change.’
‘Of course. I’ll go and fetch my gift for Vicky.’
