EXPOSED: Kings of Rebellion MC 6
Page 3
“Just from a boxing match last night.” I assure her.
“You spend too much time in that boxing ring.” My mum rolls her eyes, going to collect her own plate of food and joining us all at the table. For the rest of the dinner, my mother scolds me for my bruised cheek and I avoid Elise’s comments and irritating glances. So I’m eager to get out of there as soon as I can.
While I’m driving back to the clubhouse, I decide to pop into the shop to grab some supplies but before I get there, I spot Erica again, strolling along. This time though, she’s not alone. Erica is holding hands with a boy around the age of three or four. My heart bounces like crazy as I watch them, nearly fucking crashing into the back of a parked car.
I park my motorcycle and quickly make my way over to Erica. I hurry my feet to catch up with her, but I don’t want to scare her off like the last time. She won’t be able to run so fast this time with the child. When I’m close enough, I call her name.
“Erica?” I ask and she quickly spins around, pushing the boy behind her. As if she’s shielding him from me.
“Scrappy.” She gasps, her eyes wide in panic. “What are you doing here?”
I point to the store next to us. “I need to grab some things, what are you doing?”
“Same as you.” She shrugs awkwardly.
“How’s the funeral arrangements?” I ask her, wanting to try and talk about something normal for once.
“It’s next week.” She answers, and I can’t gage whether she’s that upset or not. I know she didn’t get on too well with her dad.
“How are you feeling about it?” I ask her, and to be honest it feels odd just talking about normal shit.
“It’s been hard.” Elise looks, looking about as awkward as I feel.
The little boy then peaks around Erica’s leg and I get my first look at him. Oh shit. He looks up at Erica. “Mummy, I’m hungry.”
Shock hits me in the gut and I look to Erica as she looks from the boy to me with huge eyes.
“Mummy?” The boy repeats.
The more I look at the kid, the more I recognise myself from all my childhood photos.
“This your son?” I ask her, even though it’s pretty obvious.
“Yep.” Erica tries pushing the boy behind her again but they kid is too busy grinning up at me.
“There something you need to tell me?” I ask her, because real fucking talk right now, I’m getting a strong connection to this kid.
“Ethan.” She whispers, closing her eyes for a second and shaking her head. The fact she’s using my family name and not my club name hits me hard and it speaks a thousand words.
“Is he mine?” I dare to ask, tearing my eyes from the boy and staring at Erica. I have a feeling I already know the answer. “You’ve been gone around four years and returned with a kid who’s around that age.” A tear falls from her face and she looks up to the sky, wiping at her face and hiding her emotions from her son. “Erica, is he mine?”
This time, Erica nods. A sob escapes from her and the only reason why I’m not flipping right now is because I don’t want to scare the little boy. My son. Fuck, I have a son! I’m a dad.
“How old is he?” I ask, looking down at my child as he smiles up at me. Emotion clogs my throat as the innocent look on his face makes me smile.
“Three.” Erica sniffles. “I’m so sorry.”
I don’t want to hear her apologises right now. I’m not in the mood. She’s just told me I’ve had a son for the past three years and I knew fuck all about him. How shit is that? I have a three year old son who I don’t know. That’s fucked up! Looking at the little guy, I crouch down to his level and hold out my hand for him to shake.
“Hey buddy, I’m Scrappy.” The boy takes hold of my hand, laughing at me.
He smiles. “I’m Lewis.”
I look up at Erica. Lewis is my middle name. So she did think of me when he was born. Pity she couldn’t come by or at least give me a call to let me know.
“Nice to meet you Lewis.” I shake his hand with a kind smile whilst reigning in so many different emotions. “I think we’re going to be best friends.”
Lewis jumps up and down, smiling wide. “Me too!”
I then stand, facing Erica and she at least has the decency to look guilty as she watches me.
“I need your number.”
“What?” She asks, obviously occupied with whatever is going on in her own head.
“I need your number so I can call you, I wanna see Lewis as much as I can.” I send him a wink and Lewis laughs. “I want to be in his life.”
I have every right to be.
“I’m so sorry Ethan.” She wipes at her eyes.
“I don’t wanna get too much into it now.” I shake my head, keeping my anger at bay. “I just can’t believe you did this Erica.”
Erica types down her phone number in my own phone while I say goodbye to Lewis. The more I look at him, the more I see of myself looking back at me.
“I’m going to come and see you tomorrow.” I tell her, looking up at Erica, she nods that she’s free and Lewis jumps around again.
I say my goodbyes and walk over to my motorcycle, when I straddle the bike I look back over to where Erica and Lewis stand. Lewis eyes are wide as he watches me, obviously impressed with my means of travel. I did need to go to the shop, but I can’t bear stepping inside as I’m too fucking emotional right now. I can’t be doing normal day to day shit right now when my head feels like it’s exploded.
Lewis waves me goodbye as the engine kicks into gear, I send him a wave goodbye back before driving away and making sure to hold back my tears until I’m alone and safely off the road.
Chapter Four
Erica
Today Scrappy is coming over to see Lewis and I’m so nervous. After seeing how sad and surprised he was yesterday, discovering who Lewis is, I’ve felt like shit ever since. He messaged me this morning to let me know that he’s coming over and Lewis is so excited. I watch my son bounce around the room in excitement with the toy motorcycle in his hand. After seeing Scrappy on his bike, we went into the shop and saw a toy version. Lewis had to have it and he hasn’t let it out of his sight. Watching Lewis and Scrappy together is going to be hard, I know it but this needs to happen. Besides, even if I still wanted to, I can no longer hide Lewis away. Scrappy knows all about his son and now that I’ve seen the two of them together, the years of worrying fall away and I won’t keep them apart.
“Motorcycle man?” Lewis asks, running up to.
“He’ll be here soon.” I assure him, unable to keep the grin from my own face as he jumps for joy.
Since setting his eyes on him, Lewis hasn’t stopped talking about the ‘motorcycle man’ and it makes me feel even guiltier. As I watch out of the window my stomach begins to knot and I feel sick, I never thought I’d be doing this but now I can’t imagine keeping them apart and they only met yesterday for a brief moment. I had a feeling Scrappy needed to get away from the situation quickly for both his anger and him being emotionally upset.
My cousin isn’t here today, he’s at work and I am glad. He doesn’t like Scrappy that much and understands my original worry about having a child with a club member. Things change though don’t they?
I need to get my own space soon because I’ve overstayed my welcome. Plus, I thought that after the funeral, I would be leaving but I don’t know what my future holds at this minute and I know I can’t just disappear again. Scrappy wants Lewis in his life and I’m not about to take his son away from him. Again.
Would it make sense that I find somewhere of my own? For me and Lewis to share and make it our home? Just then, the rumbling of a motorcycle interrupts my thoughts and has me feeling like a nervous wreck. I jump up and look out of the window, watching as Scrappy gets off his bike and I can’t help but admire him. He hasn’t changed and I’m not ashamed to admit that I still find him sexy.
Lewis hops about the place when he notices Scrappy is here and walking towa
rds the front door. He comes with me to answer as Scrappy knocks on.
“Hey.” I answer, grinning down at Lewis. “He’s been so excited.”
Scrappy smiles down at Lewis and sends him a wink. “I’ve been excited to see you too.”
“Come on in.” I invite him, stepping aside so he can enter and he follows Lewis into the living room.
He nods to me as he walks by and I stay by the front door for a little longer than necessary. Hiding away from Scrappy and the guilt I feel when I see the two of them together. I feel a little awkward around Scrappy if I’m honest and I think it’s because I still find him attractive. I loved this man at one point and before I saw him, I would have said that I no longer love him. Now, I have no clue.
Taking a deep breath, I go to join the two of them in the living room. Lewis is showing Scrappy his new motorcycle toy.
“I had to buy him that yesterday after I saw yours.” I giggle.
Scrappy smiles at Lewis. “Then you might like what I got you.” Scrappy talks to Lewis without a single look to me and gets out a gift wrapped box. Lewis gasps and excitedly reaches for the box, tearing at the paper and squealing in delight when he gets out another motorcycle toy, this one a lot bigger than the old one.
“Wow Lewis.” I smile as I watch him.
“Thank you.” Lewis says to Scrappy and begins playing straight away.
I go to sit on the sofa. “I think he really likes that.”
“Looks like it.” Scrappy nods, still not looking at me. His eyes are fixed on Lewis. “Does he need anything?”
“Erm, no he’s fine.” I assure him. “Try not to spoil him too much.” I laugh as I watch Lewis run around the place.
“Yeah well I wouldn’t need to if I wasn’t kept from him for so long, would I?” Scrappy quietly adds, and I’m actually quite shocked from the amount of anger that pours from his words. Yes, I know he’s annoyed and angry with me but I thought we were here to be civil, for Lewis.
I decide to stay quiet and let the two of them enjoy themselves, playing and watching TV with each other.
All of the excitement tires Lewis out after some hours, and he falls to sleep on the sofa. So Scrappy decides it’s time to go and I walk him to the door.
“When can I see him again?” Scrappy asks.
“Whenever you like.” I answer. “Just call or text.”
Scrappy nods. “How long do you plan on staying here?”
“Well, I’ve actually been thinking to look at our own place, for me and Lewis. It’s not fair to stay here for much longer.”
Scrappy looks shocked. “So you’re not planning on running again then?”
“No.” I shake my head. I guess I deserved that. It still hurts to have him talk to me in this way though. “I want you to get to know your son, for both of you and it wasn’t fair what I did. I see that now.”
“Well, thanks.” Scrappy nods.
He’s still angry and I guess he’ll always be. When I discovered I was pregnant with Lewis, I was scared and felt trapped by my dad. I loved Scrappy, sure but I didn’t think he would want to be stuck with a child and I wasn’t too sure on the club life, so I did what I thought was best and ran away. Now I think back and I realise how dumb that was of me, but the longer I was away the harder it was for me to come back.
Scrappy pauses at the door. “It’s surprising how hard it is to leave him.”
“It never gets easier.” I smile sadly. “But honestly Scrappy, you can see him whenever you want. I’m not going to keep him from you anymore.”
“I appreciate that.” Scrappy turns and looks at me properly for the first time since he arrived at the house. “You’ve done an amazing job with him, you should be proud.”
Tears gather in my eyes. “Thank you.” I wipe at my tears. “And I’m honestly so sorry for what I’ve done to you.”
“You shouldn’t have kept him from me.” He answers, looking away from me again.
“I know.” I agree. “It got harder and harder to come back and I felt so bad.”
“So you know what you should have done?” Scrappy asks, his voice dripping in rage. “You should have fucking come back Erica.”
“I know.” I cry some more. “When I knew I was pregnant, I really wanted to stay and tell you but when my dad found out he threw me out into the street. I didn’t know what to do Scrappy and I didn’t know if you wanted to be forced to take care of me and a baby.”
“So you ran?” He asks, sounding stunned. “I would have taken care of you both and given you an amazing life, but you fucked that up for all of us.” My tears now fall fast and before I’m able to open my mouth and apologise, Scrappy holds his hand up. “Don’t fucking say it.”
With that, Scrappy walks out to his motorcycle and without another look back, he gets on and leaves. Closing the door behind me, I sit on the sofa opposite my son as he holds onto the toy his father gave him and cry. I cry for what I did to Scrappy, taking away his son and I cry for Lewis because I took my son away from his father.
I thought I was making the right choice all of those years ago but I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong.
Chapter Five
Scrappy
Last night my head was fucked, and it still is.
When I got back to the clubhouse I drank and fucked some club whores. Not Talia, much to her disappointment. She got her own way last time.
I had the best time with Lewis yesterday and I really didn’t want to leave but the longer I stayed, the more I enjoyed myself and the more I was pissed off that Erica would keep that from me. I didn’t want to talk to her and I just couldn’t look at her. I wanted to keep my cool but it was fucking hard.
When I saw Lewis with his little motorbike toy I knew I had made the right decision in getting him what I did. I didn’t want to turn up empty handed and I was also worried that I’d be pushing the love of bikes onto him, but I now see that’s not the case. He’s a little biker in the making.
As I was watching him play, I just couldn’t get over the fact that this is my child. My son! I helped make him and he’s perfect.
I think that right now, I’m most annoyed at the fact that now Erica has explained a little as to why she fucked off, I can understand and sympathise and I didn’t fucking want that. I wanted to stick with being angry with her. She took her pregnant belly and ran without a word but now she’s planted that understanding seed inside me and I fucking hate her for it.
What if Erica was here when the whole shit went down with our club six months or so back? Erica or Lewis could have gotten hurt and I’d never be able to forgive myself. Perhaps there’s a reason why it’s worked out this way around?
I don’t like or agree with what she did, but I can at least now try to understand why. I guess.
Baby walks into the clubhouse and spots me right away. Of course, he walks over and takes a seat at the table I’m sat at. “Hey, I’m getting a few guys together tonight to go to the bar for a couple hours in town.”
“I dunno.” I shrug. “I might be busy.”
Baby doesn’t look convinced. “You might be busy?”
“That’s what I said.” I grin sarcastically. Of course, he doesn’t know I was thinking of going to see Lewis for a bit before he goes to bed. I’ve been on a security cover most of the day, so I sent Erica a message and she let me know I’m more than welcome to head over and help her with Lewis’ bedtime routine.
“Ok.” Baby nods, most likely sensing I’m dodging something. “What have you been up to lately? I heard you were running after a woman from Axel.”
Damn fucking Axel is telling everyone about me running after Erica. I need to catch up with him.
“Yeah, that was a mix up.”
Baby doesn’t look like he’s buying that. “Since then, you’re hardly around or if you are you’re in a terrible mood.”
“Yeah, and I’m disappearing again.” I stand from my seat, flashing Baby the middle finger and I hear him laughing as I walk away, leaving the
clubhouse and wanting to see my son.
I don’t bother messaging Erica again. I told her I might be coming by and I can’t be bothered to if I’m honest. She’ll be getting him ready for bed anyway, so she and Lewis will be in. When I knock on, her miserable cousin answers but we’re not alone for long, Erica pops her head over the top of the stairs and grins when she sees me.
“Scrappy.” She smiles, her hair falling around her face. “I didn’t know if you were coming or not.”
Damn when she looks at me like that it’s as if no time at all has passed between us.
“I drove straight here.” Her cousin steps aside to let me enter. He doesn’t like me. That much is clear but I’m not here for him. Erica’s right, she needs her own place so I can’t stop by whenever and not have to deal with her silent and brooding cousin.
“Well you’re just in time, I’ve just put him in the bath. Come on up.” Her head vanishes.
Ignoring her cousin, I follow the sound of Erica’s voice up the stairs. She’s waiting at the top, beside the open bathroom door as she peeps inside.
“Someone’s here to see you.” She sings to Lewis and I hear splashing of the water.
“Who?” He asks. “Motorcycle man?”
Erica laughs and we walk in together, I see the moment Lewis’ face lights up and it fucking melts me.
“Hey little man.” I go to sit on the edge of the bath. “I thought I’d come and see you before bed.”
“Bedtime story?” Lewis asks, his short dark hair soaking wet and dripping down his face, he’s adorable.
I look up at Erica, she wears a tearful but happy expression as she watches us.
“If that’s ok?” I ask her because I don’t know what I’m doing here. I have nieces and nephews but I don’t know how to care for a child that’s your own.
Erica smiles at the both of us. “Of course you can read him his bedtime story.” Her phone then begins to ring. “Oh, can you just watch him for a minute?”
I nod and she leaves the bathroom, disappearing into another room, but I can still make out her voice. I play with Lewis, splashing around as he has his bath, but I try to listen to whatever Erica is saying too. Yeah it’s a nosey thing to do, but I want to be fucking nosey. It must be something to do with the funeral because she confirms times and how many people will be there. I know it’s coming up and it must be hard.