Avalon Expandable Heart: The Wild Heart Series

by Shantelle McKinnon

  Harry, Flea and Pop are piling BBQ food on plates and Tina, Lucy, Jaime and Wade hand them out. Av’s has lots of potatoes on it. I take the plate gratefully from Lucy.

  The conversation is currently about Seth and Kelsey and how they have been parading down the beach, the shops, the everywhere, taking photos... and studying in public.

  “Studying in public?” Nathan echoes unsure of what that means, Av doesn’t know either by the looks of her screwed-up face

  “Sounds painful.” She muses.

  “Yeah,” Lucy pops a potato savagely in her mouth, “For us. You know like with all colour coded, pretty flashcards and all the right answers... all the time!”

  “And with tremendous sized words,” interjects Wade. “Those only people who watch like, the ABC smart shows, would understand.”

  “Mega painful,” moans Jaime. “You can’t escape them at school either. Come back, Av. Please!”

  I wish she would too. But she is so much happier away from it.

  “No way!” She pegs a cherry tomato at him. Her eyes find mine and she stops. “Actually, I may go back for a day or two.” I know she’s worried about Amanda. I have to try to be stronger, I don’t want people worrying about me. I’m going to say yes to Nathan and his training.

  “I’ll come too,” Nathan grins. I’m unsure of what he perceives school to be that you can just go there if you decide too. It’s kind of funny.

  “You don’t have to worry about Amanda,” I whisper to Av. Really meaning you don’t have to worry about me.

  “I don’t trust her,” she replies and offers no further information.

  “Why?” I halt, thinking of Av’s side.

  She realises and shrugs.

  “Least it’s only for exams now and then we are free!” Tina pumps the air letting us all get excited our school life is nearly over.

  “No,” the sad tone of Harry’s voice causes my head turn his way. “They wouldn’t let me bury her here, even though it was her wish. Our wish, to be buried together here by the ocean up the back. They overruled and buried her in their family plot at the cemetery. It’s something that will never sit right inside me. I think about it every day.”

  Harry was talking to Avalon’s Pop, Flea was listening shaking his head in disbelief.

  “That’s...” Pop trailed off, a pained expression on his face.

  “What?” Av asks leaning forward around Jaime. A note of concern in voice.

  Pop turns to her, “I was just telling Harry about Nan’s funeral.”

  Av starts grinning and turns to us, “Nan wanted to have her coffin carried by crocodiles,” she explains.

  “We tried,” Nathan continues. “And nearly lost an arm doing it. I did lose a boot and a pant leg...”

  “And the sheep nearly got eaten too,” added Av.

  “The sheep?” Wade scratches his head.

  “To make the croc go the way we wanted,” Av answers. “Can you imagine otherwise, she wanted to be carried by crocs not eaten by them!”

  “My mistake,” Pop clears his throat. “I forgot to tell them it was a joke. Well, it was written on the back page and I didn’t see that until ...”

  “Too late,” Av, Chops and Nathan chime in.

  “What?” Lucy cries out appalled. “You seriously thought she wanted to be carried around by crocodiles?”

  “My wife was quite...” Pop smiles.

  “Cutting edge,” Nathan drawls.

  “We just buried one with her,” Av shrugs, “Just in case!”

  “What?” Wade covers his mouth with his hands. “You buried your Granny with a crocodile?”

  Nathan, Avalon, and Pop just stare at him with exactly the same expressions, all their heads tilted at exactly the same angle.

  “It was dead,” Chops whispers.

  “What did you do with your wife then?” Tina asks Harry seemingly ready for another scary burial story.

  Harry’s face, however, tightens and his eyes lose some of the shine they have recently acquired. “Nothing.” Was his quiet reply.

  Av’s swivels her head to Nathan for a second before asking, “What do you mean? Isn’t she buried up on the cliff? I saw her headstone!”

  Harry takes a deep breath and shakes his head, “That’s just there because I couldn’t stand it that she wasn’t there and thought it might make me feel better. It didn’t.”

  “Where the hell is she then?” Av asks a strange note in her voice. Nathan leans forward in exactly the same way, elbows on knees. One hand clutching the plate, the other... running their index finger along their thumbs. Uncanny.

  “Her family took her from the mortuary and buried her, without my knowing, at Rookwood Cemetery with the rest of their family. I didn’t even get to attend the service; it was over and done with before I knew it.”

  “That’s bloody terrible,” cries Lucy. “It’s the worst thing I have ever heard!”

  I wipe at the tears in my eyes and running down my cheeks. It’s horrible. Mama visits my dad every week and talks to him, to be without that would kill her. Chops places a large hand on my back, very gently. “It will be all okay,” he says. I turn to face him, to ask how on earth would it be okay, only to see him watching Av and Nathan. Both are turned to each other and there is unmistakable communication pinging between them. Something settles over both of them and finally, different emotions plague their faces. Av is the epitome of fierce, Nathan; set and excited.

  Sam sidles closer to them, I can’t hear what he says but his eyes widen and his mouth gapes. Nathan shoves a potato chip in it. Sam chokes.

  Penii

  Avalon

  I feel the prickly weight of Pop’s gaze, and so does Nat because we press our knees against each other simultaneously, trying to convey the same message by the action. Instead of vocalising anything, we just slide a breath in through our noses and well, ignore it. We are pros at that. Not so much from practice against Pop but from Angus and sometimes Dad and, of course, Daryl a whole lot more than quite frequently.

  We both watch Sam as he continues to grasp his throat like it was a deadly poison, not a beer and garlic-soaked potato slice that he ingested incorrectly, all the while Pop’s attention never shirks from us.

  Nathan finally lifts a massive arm and thumps Sam on the back and instead of bestowing Nat a snarling glare Sam exudes gratefulness.

  “Sam,” I drawl, raising an eyebrow and allowing all my scorn to heave into that one word. He glowers back at me like it is my fault! Nathan, his idol; faultless. Poor Seth when he stumbles across this new mesmerised Sam.

  Harry was continuing in reply to someone’s question about his children being lost along with his wife, my heart lurches against the pit of my stomach, and I feel the sensation of Pop’s gaze waver in its intensity. Pop would never have let Nan be buried anywhere than where she wanted to be bloody laid to rest. There is no way in hell. Pop is fun, passionate and quite out there at times, Nan always said Nathan and I had been generously trickled with those cool genes way more than our brothers, so I knew he would do what we were thinking. He must have considered that too because of all of a sudden the weight of his stare changes. Nat and I instantly and simultaneously swing to him.

  He rolls his grey eyes, huffs and turns to Harry. We grin, excitement and purpose welling up inside me to obliterate any vestiges of tiredness and the tiny niggling aches of my annoyed ribs.

  I listen to Harry describe the many efforts he had exhausted to be granted rights to returning his family home until he had just given up. I also knew what he wasn’t saying... that it literally killed him every day. That there is something missing in his life. Once he opened up about this, he couldn’t seem to stem the tide of words pouring out, but I got the feeling that he had had enough of the subject, so, apparently, did Pop, he extended a hand and squeezed Harry’s shoulder, just as I rose to give him a hug. The next moment it was a massive group hug and everyone there, including Sam, had arms around him. We all gasp from the lack of oxygen and e
xperience the beginnings of asphyxiation when Chops and Nathan join in.

  “Stop!” Nat’s voice bellows. “My sister’s in there!” From the sounds of the ooompfs he is panicking and throwing bodies left, right and centre.

  When it’s just Harry and me, Flea and Pop making a hasty retreat of their own accord, Harry’s eyes are shining with moisture. His gaze drops down and his weathered hands begin picking at a thread on his moleskins.

  “So,” Pop starts flicking his gaze over the others, “which of you young reprobates are joining the forces?” His hands rise in a WTH movement and his brow not happy either, furrows at the lack of enthusiastic response. Pop is eager.

  “No way,” Wade grouses. “You have to iron yourself!”

  I pfft, “Iron yourself! Don’t think we’d have much of army if that happened.”

  “You know what I meant,” he deadpans, folding his arms to make his stance clear. “How boring, getting up and ironing all the time, everything you own. Even your undies!”

  “Yeah,” Jaime chimes up clapping his hands together rapidly three times, I have no idea what for. “They make it all exciting on the ads, but come on, really... no soccer or anything ... who would want that?”

  “We did, so much so that we changed our names, our ages and ran away to be enlisted,” Flea flourished a hand at Pop. “Best adventure of our lives! And there is soccer, boofhead.” He aimed at the two sceptical boys.

  Nathan shifts in his seat, I know he’s hoping Black Jo stories might emerge with new twists now that Flea is here in the flesh.

  “What?” Tina gasps. “You changed your names and ages? Isn’t that illegal?”

  “Yup,” Pop smiled proudly. “Illegal dallies seem to run in my family if you haven’t noticed.” He stares straight at Nat and me... and then the story begins about how Pop and Flea weren’t allowed in so they stole two dead blokes names and ages and shot off to the city, they both end up becoming very high up in the ranks. I’ve heard the stories many times, so my mind starts to devise ways to get Harry’s family members back here. I flick a glance back at him, his body portraying something I had seen before; discomfort, regret and uncertainty.

  I get up and move closer to him, “Hey, Haz? Want to help me grab some more drinks?”

  After blinking for a second, he nods gratefully.

  I walk silently beside him. He makes it until we pull some more cold water out of the fridge and watch the cordial swirl around in the jugs in funny little clouds. We rarely have cordial at the station, Daryl said it’s because of our teeth but I think it was from the one time I poured it in the water and loved the cold clouds it made, I end up using bottle after bottle on different liquids to see what it would do. Turns out no one was impressed with Frutti tutti or lime flavoured beer. Men. I grab a few unaccosted beers and set them out on the counter.

  Harry stops and studies a framed picture of his wife. “It just came over me like a wave,” he starts, raising a finger to stroke their faces. “The thought that... that... that,” He sucks in another breath, “that out there, is how it would have been. Could have been. Our kids, their kids, everyone enjoying this place. Having fun. Stories. Laughter. I - I don’t know how all that came out,” he trails off, seeming more vulnerable than I had ever seen him; an old man that hadn’t heard the words a lot of people take for granted for so long.

  “Harry,” I move to stand in front of him and raise my arms to perch my hands on his shoulders. I grip him hard. “You are family. Everything about you matters, everything you think matters, you hurt, I hurt... all because I love you.”

  The shudder passes under my hands then and tears slide down his face as he creases his eyes shut. After a moment he wipes at them and smiles. “I never thought I would hear that again,” his voice is barely audible. “Convinced myself I didn’t need to.”

  “That’s grumpy old man stuff,” I give him a light punch to lighten the mood. “And you, my friend are now not a grumpy old man, you can thank me later.” I wink at him, “Hold on, you aren’t unless you’ve shot some kid’s ear off in the last week?” I chuckle thinking of Seth’s story, which was true I’d found later out. “Which you better not have because I would not have wanted to miss that.”

  “I’ll let you know when it’s on the agenda, kiddo,” he makes a move to the beers and jugs and we head outside, him looking lighter and more secure and me feeling way more purposeful to get his family here.

  Nathan’s eyes swing toward me and then assess Harry, he smiles lazily and relaxes back into listening to Flea who is in full flight story mode.

  After passing the jugs around I retake my position next to Nathan and lean happily into his side, his warmth feeling like a strong medicine to my side, waiting a minute to make sure we had heard this particular part of the story before I whisper through the side of my mouth, “Do you think movies might help?”

  “Dell?” he nods, one side of his lips tugging upwards.

  I pull out my phone and moan as I catch sight of the numerous messages that I have ignored over the last couple of days. I text Dell asking what movies would give us some good info on graverobbing, exhumation and discreet movement of coffins.

  Nathan grabs my phone and taps on Mum’s unread messages; I didn’t want to know what she had to say about anything.

  The low growl that vibrates from his frame startles Sam from his rapture at Pop and Flea’s adventure.

  “What is it?” he whispers, alert.

  “Mum,” I drop my head on Nat’s shoulder, wondering what Noah is doing and thinking about the hospital bed.

  “Ohhhhh,” his face falls into a distasteful cast.

  Nathan eyes him, “You’ve met our egg donor?”

  Sam shrugs, “Av tried to gift me to her, but she rejected me. Damn.”

  Nat’s body stills for a moment before he chuckles and I know that Sam had just made it past another of Nat’s shells, probably the first person to do so in a long time. Good job. Sammie bear, I silently cheer.

  “What the fuck...” Nathan growls again.

  “Do I want to know?” I sigh, half not wanting to know when it comes to Mum. Sam peers over the phone and repeats Nat’s expletive.

  “There is no excuse to get out of our deal. The dinner did not go as planned.” Nat reads the text softly in my mum’s annoying voice. “One night at Seth’s per week is now non-negotiable. Unless of course, you are pregnant already...”

  “Pregnant?” I repeat, shudders running through my body as memories of the size of those quaffle sized babies filter through my brain like a mini movie. Suddenly, the hospital scene seems to have a scary ending tinge.

  “Nice,” Sam says dryly.

  “Give it here,” I hold out my hand.

  I press some letters, not in the mood. “Yup, you forgot that blind, deformed men with no hands still have working penii. I’m done and dusted.” I type, not interested. Nat’s body radiates with hate when he reads it and he almost crushes my hand as he snatches the phone.

  “Penii?” Cackles Sam.

  “Well, octopus, octopi,” I shrug.

  “Dude,” Sam shakes his head. “That’s words ending in ‘us’.”

  “Fine,” I grab the phone and change it. Nat asks for it back with a hand movement.

  “No,” I say lowly, glancing around. I know what he wants to do. “She doesn’t know you’re here! We could... surprise her!” I waggle my eyebrows at him and the fire in his eyes turns from deadly to just plain cold.

  “Maybe Frank would like to surprise her too,” he laughs evilly.

  “Oh God, let me watch, please,” Sammie rubs his hands together.

  “Only if you help us do you know what,” I say behind Nat’s back. “I can’t dig and we be needin’ an extra gravedigger,” I say lowly in my best pirate voice.

  “My dreams come true,” Sam huffs. “Getting asked to be the extra gravedigger by a crappy pirate, great, awesome.” He rolls his eyes at us. “Yes. Fine. Nothing else to do in the middle of the night.”
>
  “Why in the middle of the night?” Nathan asks him. I wonder too, because hey, I’m no cemetery expert. Maybe there is a big reason for it.

  Sam just stares at him. “You’re joking, right?”

  We both stay silent waiting, guessing that nope, there isn’t a big reason. Both of us will now be thinking this... I bet...that sometimes doing things in plain sight is way easier. But which would be the better to get it done? Darkness? Is there security at cemeteries? Would we need to dress as security? Who digs up graves, anyway? Hurry up, Dell!

  “Right?” Sam prompts us again. “There are tons of people visiting during the day!”

  He stares again, not knowing we are thinking it through. Trying to visualise what we have never seen.

  “Argh, fine!” he folds down on himself. “Whatever, whenever, I’m in.”

  Two grins aim in his direction. He colours and grabs his cordial.

  My phone beeps and we all look to see if its mum that has responded. Noah. I smile automatically.

  How are you, Thornie? What are you up to? (N)

  Just planning a bit of graverobbing, we’ll have to transport the bodies…probably in your car. (A)

  There’s no immediate reply.

  Nathan smirks.

  Sam’s phone beeps, he reads it and turns to me. “Seth is worried about you; says you haven’t answered any of his texts.”

  It must be something with me, soon as someone else says it, stupid insecurities melt away. I’m fine with Seth, I realise. He was in a hard spot there at that dinner too and he came through for D when she asked him to create the steaks for her.

  “Tell him sorry, I was incapacitated but to expect my illustrious company in the near future and maybe for him to give Sue a heads up to do a Naked Chef show this week sometime.” I raise my eyebrow at my brother who grins broadly and nods.

  “I’ve got one,” D pipes up, and we jerk as we realise Pop and Flea had finished their break.

  “What is it?” Nathans asks leaning forward in her direction.

  “For Sam to run across Frank’s paddock,” she replies, “naked.”