Brenner: The Gospel of Madness (Book 5 of 6)

by Georg Bruckmann

  Mariam and Wanda

  Wanda was annoyed that her hands were sweating. It wasn’t a miracle. They were all there. Regine and her girlfriend. Leander, Breitmann and Karim. Armin, of course. And the team of the other transporter around Gerber, with whom she hadn’t had much to do so far. Ella too and also the leader of the starvers, Marcelo with his black curls. Ella had done what Wanda had failed to do. Wanda would have only too gladly known what the woman had said to Armin when she had asked him to have a talk the previous night. Armin had kept a low profile about this, and Wanda hadn’t yet had the opportunity to speak to Ella about it. But the fact was that Armin’s view of things had changed. Not so much that he suddenly gave in completely and fulfilled all of Wanda’s hopes. Not so much that he simply ordered his people to go to Rome with them. His scruples were still too great for that, and even though Wanda had shown herself to be stubborn and at least as unyielding as he had been during their quarrel, she understood that Ella’s words filled him with concern. After Ella had finished her report, the way to Rome suddenly seemed many times more dangerous than before. About three hundred square kilometers of contaminated area. Nothing to eat, but okay, that was at best a tiny problem for the Motorized who had stocked their vans sufficiently. But there were still the degenerates who, according to the former waitress, were also active in this area and not least this Fire-Uri and his soldiers who guarded the Brenner. At least, if one wanted to believe Ella’s tales. However, Wanda had to admit that there was little cause for doubt. If one then wanted to consider all that, one could understand Armin’s decision to call a meeting and give every member of his team the opportunity to decide on their own free will. So the next morning he had gathered them all around the small, weakly blazing fire in the middle. Now he was standing there searching for the right words and being a little embarrassed, while Mariam was standing on Wanda’s right side. Wanda would have liked to put her hand on the girl’s shoulder, but she wasn’t sure whether Mariam would like that at the moment. If Mariam flinched or took a step to the side, it would hurt Wanda, and her strained relationship would take over her thoughts. That’s exactly what she wanted to avoid right now. I gotta be on my toes. Armin stood relatively close to the fire, and the smoke briefly pushed downwards by a gust of wind playing around his legs. Much as it was his way, he didn’t spend much time with any introduction, but came straight to the point. Not even all the starving children made noises when he cleared his throat and started talking. They all instinctively felt that such a gathering was anything but everyday. “Listen up, guys. We’ve known each other for quite some time now, but a lot has happened in the last few days. Wanda and Mariam joined us, brought us Doctor Mahler and told us about the degenerates, what they call them. Their stories were confirmed by the attack of these same people on Neckarwestheim. In response to this attack, we set out to eliminate the head of this group in the hope that it would disintegrate without a leader. Each of you has personal reasons for coming with us. Each one of you has lost friends or lovers or relatives.” For a moment, Armin remained silent and drove his tongue over his lips. Wanda knew what he was thinking about. A soft murmur penetrated the silence, and Wanda briefly turned Armin’s head away. Ella translated for her fellow countrymen, but made sure not to get too loud. Good. Let them hear it all. “Now we’ve come across this group here.” Armin nodded towards Ella, who had interrupted her flow of words again to listen to him. Marcelo was standing next to her. “They escaped from where we were going. They’re reporting disturbing news. What I want to say is, until now, we’ve always been the superior ones. We had the best weapons and armored vehicles, and we were many. Here and now we’re just a little over a dozen. Three vehicles, four motorcycles. The advantage we had all this time will no longer be there further in the south. According to the stories of our guests, we will have to navigate with the Geiger Counter and the XM2. Of course, we have iodine and protective coats and masks. But caution is still advised. But that is by no means all. They say the area south of us, between here and the Brenner, is infiltrated by degenerate hunting parties. They surprised us in Neckarwestheim. Now we know what to expect and will be prepared. Our new arrivals also say the country is poisoned. Whether it’s radiation or anything else, we don’t know. Of course we can and will try to bypass those areas, but there is no guarantee that this project will succeed. And that’s not all. The Brenner Pass, both the pass road and the tunnel, is held by remains of the Italian armed forces. To what extent they are ideologically dressed up, or to what extent they could really be on official orders, possibly issued by remnants of a government, I cannot estimate exactly. According to the stories of our guests, there was a coup, and now a madman seems to have the supreme command there. The crux of the matter is this. Of course there are more trails over the Alps, but we know from these people that the tunnel is accessible, at least technically. It can very well be that it has been blocked by these Italians, we will only learn that when we are there. Unfortunately, we also don’t know what it looks like on the other passes all around. It’s possible that any of those people may have dug themselves in there. Maybe not. The thing is, we’ve never dealt with trained soldiers before. We had our clashes with some looter groups or some communities that wouldn’t let us pass through their territory. We resorted to violence to recruit the personnel we desperately needed. In all these cases, we’ve always had the upper hand. Then the degenerates came to Neckarwestheim and surprised us.” Armin gave Wanda a little too long of a look. “Even with them, things looked different all of a sudden. A bunch of savages with pointed sticks and stones, if I may say so - these lunatics have managed to inflict a lot of damage on us because of their fanaticism. Because of that, and because we were too confident. And now the army. It’s only the Italian, but still.” Wanda understood that Armin had wanted to make a joke. Didn’t work. Nobody even laughed or smiled. Armin also noticed it and quickly went on. “What I’m about to say is that I won’t ask any of you to come with me. Wanda will go. Mariam too. And as it turns out, I have personal reasons to leave as well. It almost seems that this whole thing has nothing to do with what we originally agreed to do. At least not directly. You have agreed to risk your lives and health to save the world from the remnants of a toxic civilization that should never have grown so big. You have not volunteered to go to war or to commit murder. I also know that none of you are cowards. If that would be the case, you wouldn’t be here, in this round. But this may not be for all of you after all. I certainly won’t hold it against anyone if they want to go back to Neckarwestheim or back to the headquarters. Strictly speaking, it wouldn’t be so bad if some of you didn’t come along, because someone has to take care of our new friends here.” He nodded towards Ella and Marcelo. “One thing I think I should make clear before you make your decision. I didn’t turn my back on our cause. Should this trip have the desired success - whatever it may look like - I will of course come back and do exactly what I have been doing for the past few years.” Armin took a break before he asked: “Anyone else want to say anything?” The first one to raise his arm was Leander. Little by little more hands were raised and Wanda was astonished to find that a hand was stretched here and there on the starver´s side as well. In the evening of the same day they were still in the same place as before. The fire, which was supervised by Leander, blazed brighter and gave warmth in a greater radius than in the morning. There had been more to discuss than Armin had assumed. People had had a lot of questions. There had been lively, but always peaceful and objective discussions both within the Motorized, within the starvers, and also between the two groups. Once, it had been towards afternoon, Wanda had seen that Armin had retreated with Breitmann to the edge of the camp. Their conversation seemed to be very serious and it took quite a while for Armin to come back and participate in the general discussion. Regine and her companion Isahnna fought quite loudly and passionately. Regine wanted to go to Rome, and her girlfriend didn’t seem to like it. Wanda understood that, but she also had an underst
anding for Regine. I wonder if the old woman was the first person she killed. When the discussion and talk had begun, Mariam had retreated a little, away from the hustle and bustle and to the edge of the action, but now she too was in the middle of it. Wanda saw Mariam talking to Ella. Whenever she didn’t know a word, Mariam seemed to jump in. My clever girl, thought Wanda. In the course of the discussions, Wanda also had to answer questions that were asked to her by members of the Motorized from time to time. Wanda answered them truthfully when it served their purposes and exaggerated or weakened the truth when an honest answer would have harmed her goals. She knew she couldn’t be too unhappy with the way things were going. But still - she needed as many women and men as she could possibly get. She talked to Regine and Isahnna for a long time. She almost managed to get Isahnna to come along, too, but at a certain point in the conversation she had shut herself off from Wanda’s arguments. Wanda didn’t understand the reason for this, but she didn’t need to, because she had managed to be so convincing that Isahnna didn’t throw sticks between Regine´s legs anymore and the two agreed to part ways for now. Immediately after that Wanda had taken another look at Mariam, who was still engaged in a conversation with Ella on the other side of the fire. Wanda was very hopeful that Mariam would find out what had caused Armin to change his mind and what exactly were those personal reasons that had led him to do so. He himself was pretty secretive about it. And not just towards her. He talked to everyone who wanted to know something about how things were, but she could see it in his face. Something preoccupied him, but he didn’t come out with it and seemed to think it was his business only. That night, Leander conjured a true feast. He was really an improvisational genius, and due to the upcoming separation of the group, even the starvers were allowed to eat slightly larger portions than before. The conversations that were important gradually ebbed away. Everything seemed to be settled. Some would come with Wanda and Armin and Mariam, and others would lead the starvers back to Neckarwestheim. This had not yet been officially announced, but Wanda estimated that about seventy percent of the Motorized wanted to join her cause. She wouldn’t see the details until tomorrow morning. Someone brought an old, scratched guitar from somewhere, and one of the starvers, an older, little man with thick black hair, played on it and also sang in strongly Italian-dyed English. He had a pretty good thing with the Beatles. The impatience grew in Wanda. This small feast seemed to her like a last supper, like a gallow feast. The cheerfulness, partly caused by beer, wine and booze, seemed wrong and hollow to her. Or is it maybe because she thought I couldn’t handle those feelings anymore? She looked at the faces, the slightly glassy eyes and the laughing mouths. Maybe they’re just making the best of it. Later that night Wanda could hear that Isahnna and Regine were saying goodbye to each other in a rather intimate way. All around there seemed to be a handful more couples, and Wanda thought about sitting with Armin. He was by the fire with Breitmann. Mariam had already retreated into the van to sleep. Apart from them, there were only a few left on their feet. Armin hadn’t tried to sleep with her yet, although she knew he wanted to. But something stopped him. Wanda assumed that he still felt obliged to Eva. That spoke for him, she found. And of course it suited her very well because she was only too aware of the fact that she was using him. She was thinking about the time with Shepard. Much too short, in hindsight. But everything had been still too fresh. The time with the degenerates. And then another captivity in Ivan’s camp was added. The first differences. Small cracks that had grown quickly. Shepard was a good man. But he couldn’t do what Armin could. For Shepard it was no problem to put his life above that of another person - if the situation required it. Actually, pretty much anyone who was still alive today could do that, Wanda thought. But to put ideals and principles, abstract constructs or larger and long-term plans over the lives of individuals, Shepard could not. He lacked the firm conviction that what he was doing was right, whether it really was the case or not. Armin had this kind of self-confidence in abundance. Ivan had this kind of self-confidence, and Rolf too. Gustav resembled Shepard on this point. While Wanda had thought about these things, she had actually gone over to Armin and sat next to him. For a minute she stared into the fire, and the embers blurred before her eyes. Then she moved a little closer to Armin, so that their bodies gently touched. He took it without showing any noticeable reaction, but she knew that physical contact was good for him as well. Armin didn’t seem to notice the quiet sounds of pleasure everywhere around him, or they simply didn’t trigger any special reaction in him. Maybe it was something quite normal for him, since he had already lived in a large group for a few years. Wanda thought back to the time before the war. She had had boyfriends before. Sometimes it had been beautiful, sometimes funny, sometimes unpleasant, but in any case she had always associated positive things with it. She could still see their faces. Still boys. No men. Her names just wouldn’t come to her mind anymore, and for two seconds that fact made her sad. At that time she too had still been a girl and should have stayed that way for a while. The war had changed that. Bad enough. Mariam had enjoyed even less of her childhood and youth. Wanda could see it in her face, even if from time to time something of her old childlikeness flashed through. And that was Da Silva’s fault. Whenever Wanda thought about this, she confirmed the result of her considerations by saying that her actions were right. The Cardinal’s gospel made a bad world even worse. Armin put one arm around her shoulders and pulled her a little closer to him, and she let it happen. The violence that had been done to them in the name of a philosophy that was supposed to convey innocence ... to use the word gospel for such a thing - actually a message of salvation. Wanda almost laughed loudly and abruptly, but suppressed the impulse. She didn’t want Armin to think she was delusional, did she? As soon as she had thought this thought, without consciously formulating it, the face of the fish man suddenly flashed in the flames, and Wanda escaped a barely audible sound of fear. Armin noticed it and looked at her questioningly. “Everything okay?” “All’s well, why do you ask?” “Well, you...” “You better tell me what came out of all those one-on-one talks you had, yeah?” Armin looked around. His conversation with Breitmann had ebbed away a few seconds ago. Breitmann sat opposite them by the fire, and now, after nodding to her briefly as she sat down, stared into the flames, like Wanda just had done. Armin was silent for a moment, then he said: “Well, Wanda. I’m sorry, but I had to act this way. I wouldn’t have anything else...” He referred to their past argument, Wanda knew that, but she didn’t care. “Oh, forget it, Armin. But I’d really like to know what they’ve decided. I think about seventy, eighty percent are coming with us. Am I right?” “Well, not exactly. More like half.” Wanda cursed inside. “Half...” she repeated quietly. “But we’ll take about a dozen Italians with us.” Wanda looked at Armin in disbelief. “They’re as good as dead already. What are we supposed to do with them?” “Yes. I know.” Armin looked around. Breitmann didn’t seem to notice them at all. Probably he had already shared his thoughts with him. No one was within earshot, but still Armin was very, very quiet when he spoke. “Listen, Wanda. Almost all of these refugees will die in the next few months, as I see it. I’m not a doctor, of course. But I’ve seen something like this before. There are also areas in the north and in the east such as the one that now lies before us. None of them will grow old any more, and some of them have the desire to go back home, or at least to try. Ella will come with us, too, by the way.” Ella. So she’s gonna die. Another one Mariam had just made friends with. Armin knew Ella, then understood Wanda instinctively. But she wouldn’t ask him yet. Should determine the right time. “Okay. So we’re taking a bunch of death devotees with us ...” Wanda thought about it for a moment, then looked at Armin again, and then thought she understood. “You ... you want to use them as cannon fodder if necessary?” Armin nodded. “But only if it’s absolutely necessary. A win-win situation. Even if it’s a twisted one. The bullets that might hit them won’t hit any of us. And they - they don
’t have to wait until their organs fail and they slowly and miserably perish. So everyone gets something out of it, even if it’s a pretty sick trade-off.” Wanda thought about it and realized that he might have been right. Not pretty. Ugly, dull and pragmatic, but not wrong. Then she kept thinking. “And the others? Those who won’t go back?” Armin laughs softly. There was no joy in the sound. “Wanda, there are works in the power plants and elsewhere that are very dangerous. Most of us are not scientists, and those who are, are very valuable to our cause. Why...” “So why expose healthy people to these dangers, huh?” Armin nodded again. At least their deaths wouldn’t be in vain this way, Wanda thought. She nodded silently to show Armin that she had understood his way of thinking. Maybe they’d write their names on a piece of stone somewhere. Maybe they’d carve their names into the walls of a power plant. Forgotten heroes. Although, you were only a hero when you exposed yourself to danger even though you still had something to lose, right? These people´s clock was already ticking. As confirmation for her thoughts she heard someone puke somewhere in the darkness beyond the fire. Now, Wanda would have liked to ask Armin what was the reason why he had made another one hundred and eighty degree U-turn concerning the small crusade to Rome. It had something to do with Ella, with something Ella had said to Armin. For a second, Wanda looked over the fire to Breitmann, but she didn’t really see him. Maybe Mariam knew something. Wanda would ask her about it tomorrow. The moment Armin also looked over at Breitmann, this looked up and seemed to awaken from his silent meditation. As if he had had a spontaneous idea, he turned to Armin. “Say, Armin, Rome is all well and good. But why do we have to use the Brenner? There are plenty of other passes, tunnels and crossings.” Armin looked surprised whether this question. For a second he looked at Breitmann almost amazed before he answered: “Do you really not remember that? That was at the very beginning of the war. I no longer know whether it was the Russians or any Asians, any party was in any case quite obsessed with the Swiss mountain fortresses. It was believed that a large quantity of nuclear weapons would be stored there. Without further ado they let the entire Alps be covered with real bomb carpets, because in their twisted heads bunkers had simply been dug into the mountains everywhere. Back then, there was even television. Not long though, but long enough for me to remember these things. Apart from that, I’ve already said that we can’t possibly know if the other roads aren’t guarded as well.” Wanda also remembered these pictures vaguely. She had not fully understood their meaning at the time. So big and red and glorious had the glowing explosions looked, like a fascinating miracle of nature. Armin continued: “Maybe you’re right, and there are still some pass roads that somehow stayed intact. But I’m afraid by the time we found one and crossed it, our supplies would be depleted. Don’t forget, Breitmann, when we leave tomorrow, we’ll cross contaminated territory. Geiger counter or no Geiger counter, it won’t be any fun. Whoever has tried to smooth out the Alps and whether he has achieved something with it or whether nuclear weapons were really stored there - we will only see that if for some reason we cannot make it through or over the Brenner. At least thanks to the refugees we know that it is still possible to cross the tunnel. At least in theory.” Breitmann seemed embarrassed when it became clear to him that there was a considerable gap in his general knowledge. “Yes,” he said hesitantly. “I think I was somewhere else then. I’m gonna get some sleep. See you tomorrow.” It was obvious that he had no intention of telling them exactly where he had been at that time. He got up and walked away. Wanda was thinking. Could she imagine Breitmann in a prison? Maybe abroad? In any other facility? I don’t know. What was important at the moment was that he set a good example. Armin and she should also get some sleep if they wanted to be fit for the next day and the tasks they would face. The farewell the next morning had been quite brief. Mariam now sat next to Wanda, who was in the cabin of the foremost transporter, and sat a little closer to Armin today than in the last days. Breitmann and Leander drove ahead. Regine held the passenger seat in the van that followed them. Her companion had stayed with the group, which was to return to Neckarwestheim with the rest of the starvers. They’d probably be making very, very slow progress. They had to drive carefully because they had squeezed so many people into the remaining transporter. It would be particularly difficult for the children. Surely they would also have to take many breaks to allow the starving to stretch their legs from time to time. Mariam noticed that she was keeping her fingers crossed for them inside. Breitmann and Leander drove about one or two kilometers ahead of their shrunken convoy and maintained constant radio contact. Both were equipped with Geiger counters, and Leander had some other instrument with him that could detect toxins and warfare agents. Armin had mumbled something about American spoils of war. Every time they radioed any values, Mariam was a little uncomfortable. They had roamed the world for so long without even thinking about that. Maybe it was a miracle they were still healthy. Maybe they weren’t anymore. On the stretch of land they just traversed Mariam could not see whether it had any toxins or radiation ready for them. Mariam regretted that Ella had found a place in the back of the transporter’s hold, along with those of her compatriots who had also wanted to come along. The night before they had had their party, and Ella had told Mariam much about what it had been like in Italy before the war had begun. It had been nice. Beautiful and free of sorrow. Every summer people, so-called holiday-makers, would have come to Ella’s island and her and her friends had flirts and simply enjoyed their lives by and large. That’s how Ella had met Armin. She hadn’t started anything with him, but one of her friends had. They had had a lot of fun with the group of students of which Armin had been a part. They had drunk and laughed and had turned the nights into their days. After Armin and his friends drove back to Germany, Ella’s girlfriend found out that she was pregnant. They had not exchanged any addresses or telephone numbers and thus had no opportunity to inform Armin about his paternity. It would have been difficult then, Ella had said. Therefore her girlfriend had to find a husband quite quickly, so that the child would not be fatherless and had to lead an ostracized life. Armin had never heard of his child, and when Ella had seen him now and recognized him later on, she had not wanted to tell him anything. What good would it do? Only when she had understood the problems that Mariam, Wanda and Armin were struggling with had she decided to use her knowledge. It wasn’t as if she really wanted to go back to Italy. Had it not been for the degenerates here in Germany, she would have remained silent, she had admitted to Mariam. But after she had overcome her first disappointment, at least she had explained it to Mariam, she had accepted that the henchmen of ‘Angel Raphael’ could not simply be run away from. In Italy, the survivors of the Great War had suffered just as much from them as in Germany, even though Ella had had the great good fortune of not having been captured by them. And then Ella lied. That Armin had a son in Italy was true, but what was not true was that he was in Rome. She had told Armin that her friend had been able to get a permanent job at the university in the capital after her generous life on the beach and had moved there with her young family. Ella did not know if they had survived the war and how they would be now. They would have kept loose correspondence for a while, until this correspondence finally fell asleep bit by bit. Ella had expressed surprise that Armin had asked no further questions at all. She didn’t really know if he believed this whole thing at all, especially the lie at the end. But he remembered having been to Milazzo with some friends, and also having fun there, just like young people like when on holiday. Ella had had to explain the principle of vacation to Mariam so that she could understand the story. What addresses were, Mariam knew and also that there had been telephones before. So Armin at least once didn’t deem it impossible that what Ella had told him was true. Mariam and Ella also had talked about many other things, and Mariam had told her story too. Now Mariam concentrated again on what she could see through the dirty windshield. The thaw had also set in here, and the snow cover on the feral fi
elds became thinner and got holes. The day was murky. Every few minutes new hazard values and directions came in via radio. Leander and Breitmann also warned of bottlenecks and road damage. On the left she saw a group of crashed helicopters, one large and two smaller ones. There was a flag painted on each of them, near the tail rotors. Mariam didn’t know it but didn’t feel like asking Wanda or Armin. Wanda noted the values, which were transmitted by Leander and Breitmann, on a sheet of paper. This way one could see tendencies, she said. Apart from that, Wanda didn’t do much except talk quietly to Armin from time to time. Most of the time she only got a short humming answer, and Armin looked very concentrated looking at the street in front of him and at the same time seemed deeply absorbed in his thoughts. When they came into the cabin last night, Mariam had pretended to be asleep and listened to them talking to each other for a while. Mariam knew Wanda well and felt when she said something she didn’t mean, or something she didn’t really care about, just to steer the conversation in the direction she wanted. That night, Wanda had often done that. Actually, Mariam thought, she did very often ever since they were together with the Motorized ones. Wanda had explained to Mariam why that was. Mariam had understood that too, but still - this behavior had become Wanda’s flesh and blood since they traveled with Armin and his people. If Wanda had nothing to say that did not serve any purpose, she usually did not speak at all. When it wasn’t about Da Silva, there didn’t seem to exist anything in her head. Of course, Wanda was still Wanda, Mariam’s Wanda, the woman she had been through so much with and that always protected her, at the risk of her health and life. But Mariam simply couldn’t make friends with this change. What Wanda had done to Eva. What happened at the cabin. Mariam had still not fully understood it and had also not found a satisfactory explanation for it. Wanda seemed determined to ignore the whole thing. Perhaps, Mariam thought, forgetting about it was even necessary for them to stay together. She herself didn’t really want to succeed. When they set up camp that evening - the vehicles were no longer sufficient for a circle - the measured values of the motorcycle scouts had scratched a few alarming upper limits a few times, but never exceeded them. Armin distributed iodine tablets together with the food rations to each member of their small expedition. Safety first, he had said, and then he had announced that they would leave as early as possible the next morning so as not to stay in this area for unnecessarily long. Regine, a mute guard in the night, had settled back on the roof of her van. As always, she sat cross-legged, with the sniper rifle across her legs. The Motorized and starver people no longer formed separate groups. Everyone had found someone else in the other group he could get along with, and so, despite a slightly depressed mood, quiet, clumsy conversations were commonplace. Wanda and Armin had also found new interlocutors among the starvers. They had been together in the driver’s cabin all day. So it was no wonder that each of them wanted to talk to someone else, Mariam thought. She herself had immediately gone to Ella’s vicinity, as soon as they had stopped and set up camp at a highway rest area near Merklingen. Here stood a few more trucks in line, and they used one of them as a back wall for their little fort. Ella nodded up to Regine, who seemed to be stuck on the roof of her van again, but the woman hardly reacted. Mariam shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe she wants to make it up to you,” Mariam said to explain Regine’s behavior. Ella nodded gently. “Si, maybe.” Leander and Breitmann, who had spied out the place for the night’s camp, had already made sure that some firewood was available. It was more than enough what they had taken out of the strip of forest that had once separated the parking lot from the adjacent fields. Nevertheless, Armin gave instructions to keep the fire as small as possible. They’d be in foreign territory. Later that evening, Armin came over to talk to Ella. Mariam expected to learn more about Armin’s thoughts and past now, but he just wanted to know if Ella could remember seeing degenerates in the area. Unfortunately, Ella couldn’t help him. She openly admitted that she had no idea where they were, and even if Armin could show it to her on a map - she would not be able to get any useful information from her memory. Armin understood and shrugged resignedly with his broad shoulders. Some of the starvers now tolerated quite decent portions, Mariam became aware delightedly and at the same time amazed when it was time for dinner. Yet Armin, who had eaten very little, did not assign any of the starvers to the guard. No, he put them on the two transporters and told them to sleep. Then he ordered Regine to finally fucking climb down from the roof and eat something as well. He, Breitmann and Leander would keep watch. The others should rest. The next day the landscape changed and Mariam saw Ella’s stories confirmed for the first time as they passed Günzburg. They were still crawling along the highway. Until then, at least. It was late in the morning when Leander reported high levels of radiation over the radio. Also the XM2 had struck. They had to leave the motorway and lost a lot of time driving around the poisoned area. Mariam thought she could see it with her bare eyes, although the vegetation was still bare in winter. The bushes seemed even more barren, the trees even more crouched. Also the uncontrolled growth that had otherwise taken place everywhere - in the fields that were no longer cultivated and in the front gardens all over in the depopulated cities - there was little to see of a return of nature here. The sky hung low and seemed hostile. The clouds seemed to condense into grimaces and threatening shapes. At least that’s how Mariam felt. It was midday when the motorcycle scouts announced that they could return to the highway. Wanda consulted a map and the sheet with the radioed values, while Armin drove the transporter and steered it around the ubiquitous, smaller obstacles. Wanda was of the opinion that it was not necessary to return to the Highway at all, but that one would perhaps progress faster in a direct way. Armin was against it. If they were to drive over land, they would inevitably have to pass through towns and villages, and one could not know what kind of people they were inhabited by. If anyone should still be living there, of course. The sickly looks of the surroundings was also reflected in the mood in the driver’s cab. Armin simply remained silent, as it was his way anyway, and every now and then he gave a deep sigh, as if something very unpleasant or sad occupied him. I wonder if he’s thinking about his kid. In the meantime it must have grown up, right? Mariam wondered, who sometimes felt remorse to know about Ella’s lie. Wanda tried on several occasions to start a conversation with Mariam, once even to resume the lessons she and Shepard had designed for Mariam during their time in Frankfurt. Mariam responded monosyllabically to Wanda’s communication attempts. She didn’t feel like talking. And not quite to Wanda either. She would rather have been in Ella’s company. Mariam herself didn’t really know why. She appreciated, however, that it was simply because Ella had a new, friendly and interesting character. Inside, Mariam shrugged her shoulders. You don’t have to be able to explain everything, do you? Regine also kept Mariam’s thoughts busy for quite some time. On the outside the woman didn’t show anything, but Mariam believed that she was suffering from the deadly shot she had fired, even though she looked strong and tough. Mariam felt that Regine took her duties as a guard much more seriously than before. When she was not on post, she polished her weapons, the big gun, but also the pistol she carried in a holster on her belt. Did she send her girlfriend back to Neckarwestheim because she wanted to be alone? Was it really Isahnna’s free choice not to come? Also in the behavior of Leander and Breitmann one could sense a certain oppression, even if they still occasionally made stupid jokes while sparking through the measured values. Mariam heard it in their voices anyway. On that day, they had to leave the highway three more times. Two of these occasions had meant only a minor detour. The last time, when the readings had become so high that Armin had immediately made a really big detour, meant that they couldn’t make it back to the highway that day. And so it happened that they camped on the edge of a village called Aulzhausen, an extinct island of civilization in the middle of former fields. Mariam was happy to escape the confinement of the cabin and to be able to stretch out extensively. She
would have liked to have gone out alone or with Ella to explore the small town and thus escape the company of the others for a short time, but she remembered what had happened the last time she had gone out on her own and needed time for herself. Wanda. Mariam still got goose bumps when she thought of all the strange and terrible things that Wanda had said that night in the hut. No, she’s really not well. But maybe that also means I shouldn’t just let her do whatever she wants? Mariam thought about whether she should talk to Armin about Wanda, and then ... no, she shouldn’t. Anyway it was a fact that he only had as much influence on Wanda as she allowed and deemed necessary to make do what she wanted him to do. It was different with Shepard. For a second she thought of him and Gustav and all the others who had fled Frankfurt with them. The doctor had always been kind to her. So Mariam remained within the confines of her camp, even though she felt like an animal in a cage. With one ear she heard Leander talking to Ella and Wanda lying in Armin´s ears because they were moving too slowly. Of course, he explained to her that it was because they had to be careful. You just couldn’t drive as fast as you did before the war. And that didn’t just apply to poisoned areas. There was no one left to make sure the streets were in order. Once too fast or an obstacle seen too late, and the car would be history and the same might apply yourself if you were unlucky. Mariam knew that Wanda knew that Armin was right. Wanda herself had already explained it to her in the same way. While Mariam helped Breitmann stack wood for the cooking fire, she took a look over at Wanda. The eyes lay deep in the sockets of her stone face. Has she ever slept more than two hours a day lately? Mariam wasn’t sure. She also slept badly because they were constantly on the road and she had to permanently process new impressions, but she knew that Wanda was plagued by much more than just the hardships of the journey. If Mariam had the chance to hurt Da Silva or kill him - she would do it without hesitation. But risk her own life for that? Mariam didn’t know. Maybe Wanda was right in the end. Perhaps these thoughts of the Cardinal, those of the degenerates, were really a plague. Perhaps they would actually spread all over the world if no one stopped them. But maybe it was already too late for that. There were many of them and almost everyone Mariam had met had deeply internalized the Gospel of the Cardinal. In her time in captivity she had often enough seen how seriously they took their laws and with what solemnity they performed the cruel rituals. Was it because there was simply nothing else left to give people support? Virtually nothing, Mariam improved in thought. Our people do have something that drives and connects them. They did not intend to rule or add as many men as possible to their association of world saviors. Armin’s group consisted largely of idealists and their friends, not warriors, although they occasionally used violent means to achieve their goals. What made them dangerous was not their willingness to kill, but her excellent armament and equipment, Mariam understood. Maybe like this the whole thing was in vain anyway. Perhaps all they could do was take revenge and harm the degenerates and Cardinal Da Silva wherever they could? The thought depressed Mariam, and she only felt a little better when Ella joined her and asked if they should eat together. Just as Mariam was about to accept the invitation, there was a gunshot. Regine’s sniper rifle was unmistakable, and Mariam’s head flew around to the transporter on whose roof Regine knelt. She was still holding the rifle and peered concentrated through the rifle scope. In no time Leander, Breitmann, Armin and also Wanda had their own weapons in their hands. Armin wanted to know from Regine what was going on, yelling at her, while Leander and Breitmann stormed to the camp’s outer borders to see something. The same second the gunshot sounded, Wanda was startled to look at Mariam, and another second later she was with her and Ella. “Mariam, didn’t I teach you what to do in such a case? Come on, damn it! Pull!” When Mariam held her own weapon in her hands, she apologized for taking so long and noticed that Ella looked at her with astonishment and fear. Once again Armin yelled at Regine to finally tell him what was going on. “At a hundred yards northeast. A big tree. There’s our dinner.” Many laughed with relief, and Armin instructed Leander and Breitmann to see what Regine had shot. However, they should only bring it into camp if neither the Geiger counter nor the XM2 would give alarm in the vicinity of the animal. Bringing Regine´s prey along proved difficult. Leander and Breitmann were content with dragging a hind leg of the cow, which Regine had shot a neat hole in the head, into the camp. “We’ll have to make a bigger fire,” Wanda murmured as she saw the big piece of meat, and Armin went to fetch more of the fresh meat to add it to their supplies. It was good for everyone to eat something other than canned food or shrink-wrapped chocolate bars. The roast smelled festive, and the gloomy mood that had settled over the travelers was somewhat brighter. Shortly before going to bed Armin distributed another iodine tablet to everyone. And when it was time for Mariam to get settled in the cabin with Armin and Wanda, she could hear the dogs fighting over the rest of the cow. Mariam had to think about how Ella and her people had reported that they had found nothing to eat on the way. Well, it must have been a different path than the one they took now. The world was damn big, and yet somehow it didn’t seem big enough for all of them. With this thought, Mariam fell asleep. The next day it got really bad as far as the landscape was concerned. And not only because they had to cross a large battlefield near Augsburg and the fighting long ago had badly affected the Highway. No, after they had left behind the destroyed and partly completely overgrown tanks and the wrecks of other military vehicles, Breitmann and Leander again reported alarmingly high readings. Armin ordered the convoy to stop while the two motorcycle scouts tried to narrow down the contaminated area. While Armin gave this order, Mariam drew her attention to the immediate surroundings. Only now did she notice that there were dead birds on the maltreated road. Some were almost skeletonized, but others didn’t seem to lie here too long. Their number increased the more Mariam let her look wander ahead. The detour they had to take cost them two days. Leander and Breitmann came back almost every hour and were allowed to wash themselves and the thick rubber ponchos and breathing masks they were now wearing with the drinking water supplies because they were always so close to the edge of the poisoned area. Every time they did that, they got an extra half iodine tablet. Mariam asked Armin why, and he explained to her that the iodine would take up space in the body, in the thyroid gland to be precise, and therefore no poison could settle there. Wanda became more and more ill-tempered, the longer the detour lasted and the bad mood also spread among the starvers. Armin, Mariam had noticed, had discussed with Wanda to arm the emaciated Italians only at the latest possible moment. He didn’t quite trust them yet, it seemed. Mariam could understand that, although she could not imagine that Ella or any of the others who had come with them to help would do anything stupid. Armin must have come to this same conclusion now, for he changed his mind about that on the evening of the fourth day of their journey. I’m sure he thought they’d feel safer if they were armed. They all could shoot more or less, but Armin gave a little instruction in the use of pistol and carbine. They did not get fully automatic weapons, but Mariam doubted that they took it as humiliation. Wanda sat next to Mariam and studied the map. Based on the entries she had made, Mariam could see that they were not far from their destination. “How much longer, what do you think, Wanda?” “Tomorrow.” Wanda just said. “Tomorrow.” Mariam did not like the gloomy tone in which Wanda pronounced this simple, actually quite neutral word. It became clear to Mariam that then the relative safety of her journey would come to an end. At least if Ella and her people hadn’t fibbed about Uri and his flamethrower. In the late morning of the next day Mariam saw the Alps for the first time in her life. The whole last time they had been present somehow, but rather a glimmer on the horizon than something concrete. It was also the first time that Mariam had left Germany. But she didn’t know that because nobody had told her and the destroyed border fortifications had had no meaning for her. Their convoy approached the area slowly but steadily throughout the day through a wide v
alley, and only once did they have to leave the highway, now the A12, to bypass the contaminated area. The poisonous area was not as large as last time, and the detour only cost them a few hours. Nevertheless it had been difficult in the suddenly very narrow valley. Mariam was amazed at the sheer size and majesty of the mountains, even though every square meter of forest on their flanks seemed burned and the number of craters in the street and concrete- and rock boulders in their path seemed to steadily increase. On the other hand, the number of vehicles left behind was steadily decreasing. Besides Mariam, Wanda played with her pistol, and when she didn’t, she checked Armin’s and Mariam’s weapons over and over again. It was late in the afternoon and they were on a high, four-lane bridge, which Armin had called the Europe Bridge, when Leander called by radio. “With the binoculars, we can now see the tunnel junction. Take a little cover, as good as possible at least. Here’s nobody there, it looks like. The area below us is completely devastated. The buildings in the valley are all in ruins. This one up here on the road, too. What shall we do?” “I’m still thinking. Keep your heads down. I’ll get back to you.” Armin turned to Wanda after he had replied to Leander. “What do you think? Should they make sure there’s no one there? Or do you want them to stay behind and wait till we get there? Then we could move forward together?” “I don’t know,” Wanda said. She thought for a second and then continued. “If these fire people aren’t there, it doesn’t matter. But honestly - I don’t believe that. Maybe they should wait and watch more closely so that we can decide when we see it for ourselves. I think that’s best. They should go to two different spy posts and really keep a close eye on the area. How much of a lead do they have?” “At our current speed, about thirty, forty minutes. I think you’re right. That’s how we do it,” Armin replied after a short consideration. He gave the appropriate instructions to Leander and Breitmann and they confirmed. One would take position to the right of the center guardrail and the other to the left. So they wanted to wait until the small convoy had reached their position. Mariam wondered what they would do if they came across signs of Uri’s troops. Would they try to negotiate, or would they start shooting right away? Of course, after everything Ella had said, it was unlikely that negotiating would do much good, and so Mariam adjusted to the last of the two possibilities. Wanda, obviously already had done so. When Mariam looked over at her, her face was petrified again. Mariam knew that expression. She didn’t like it. It took about an hour until they reported by radio that they could stop now. And indeed, next to one of the few burnt out cars Mariam saw Leander´s motorcycle. They had reached the position of the scouts. All three of them looked out of the window of their transporter and tried hard to discover them. Finally Armin grumbled: “There. Left. There’s Leander. In the rubble of the bombed-out gas station.” “I discovered Breitmann. On the right, in the truck parking lot, behind the blue station wagon,” Wanda replied. Now Mariam saw them too. Both crouched ducked behind their respective covers and waved over to them, only to spy through the binoculars in the direction of the two tunnel openings again the next second. Their protective clothing took away their human silhouettes, so Mariam had not discovered them immediately. Like plastic piles forgotten a long time ago. The tunnels also look much smaller than I had imagined from Ella’s descriptions, Mariam thought. But well, I don’t have binoculars like the other two. Armin reached for the radio. “Any sign of activity?” “Negative. Nothing’s changed since we got here. However, you should take the opportunity to take a look down into the valley,” Breitmann radioed through. Then Leander interfered: “But I think you should get off the street first. Just because we don’t see anyone doesn’t mean there really isn’t anyone here. I’d suggest you come over to my place. There are still some walls standing upright behind which you can park. Then at least you won’t be spotted immediately from the direction of the tunnel.” “Good suggestion, Leander. We will do so.” Armin set the transporter in motion again, and when Mariam looked back she realized that the other one was following them. They were listening. Now that was a pretty big gas station, she thought, when Armin changed to the opposite lane a bit awkwardly and headed for the ruin. Then she understood that the adjoining restaurant and the building behind it had also been destroyed, as had the relatively low boundary walls, the task of which had probably previously been to separate the actual road from the truck park and the station buildings. About halfway to the two tunnel tubes, two ramps led up to the sky on the right and left of the four lanes, and Mariam understood that they had once formed a crossing, a bridge on the bridge, so to speak. Now there were only two ramps without purpose. Mariam wondered where the debris had gone, but then she discovered a large, partly plant- and snow-covered hill of concrete chunks, from which twisted steel struts protruded. So someone had put them away. Wanda looked in the same direction and said: “It will hardly have been the people of this Uri guy.” Armin agreed with her. “No. At least not since he took the lead. This looks older. But come on, we all need to stretch our feet first. Leander and Breitmann will look after us.” Armin gave the appropriate command via radio. When Mariam got out, she saw that Regine had already taken up her gunning position on the roof of her transporter and was securing backwards, in the direction not covered by Leander and Breitmann. Soon everyone had gathered behind a fragile back wall of the ruins. Even the starvers now held their weapons in their hands. Who were the other two from Regine’s new team? Yeah, that’s right. That was Roland and Tim. One was skinny, almost like one of the starvers, the other one almost more bearish than Armin and much younger. Ella seemed anxious, although she tried not to let anything be seen. In fact, that was true of almost all the starvers. Their glances nervously scanned the surroundings, as if expecting something terrible to happen all of a sudden. That even didn’t stop when Armin mentioned again that Leander and Breitmann were on watch. Armin was about to start distributing food and discussing the next steps, when Leander’s croaking voice could suddenly be heard from inside the transporter. “Before anything is decided, you should really climb onto one of the ramps and get an overview, Armin. You must see the valley.” Armin, who was not in the driver’s cabin and therefore could not operate the radio, took a few steps and entered Leander’s field of vision. Then he lifted his thumb up and nodded to him. Leander returned the gesture. Armin set himself in motion and Wanda followed him, then paused for a moment and waved at Mariam. Shortly afterwards the three stood at the very top of the former bridge. Down there, about one hundred meters behind the tunnel entrances, was the narrowest part of the valley. The railway tracks, which had been visible all along the way, ended abruptly on a wall of overturned trucks, rubble, rocks and countless smaller cars, which had been piled up down there to a real bulwark. “That... that almost looks like a castle wall,” Armin was amazed. Wanda answered: “Not quite. A castle wall is usually manned. What those Italians built down there doesn’t need guarding. Look how big this rampart is. No wonder so few cars have been on the road lately. They’re all piled up down there.” Ella didn’t say anything about that, Mariam thought. These fire people must have either started building after she had managed to escape, or she simply hadn’t noticed anything about it. Armin was still amazed. “They actually shut down the whole valley.” He took a look over at the tunnel entrances. “That means that...” “That they want us to go through the tunnels,” completed Wanda Armin’s sentence. That wasn’t good, Mariam thought. Ella had reported that they had also used car wrecks in the tunnels to make the passage more difficult. The adults remained silent for a few seconds. Then Armin continued. “Wanda, I’m afraid we’ll have to find another way. If we go in there, none of us will make it to the other side.” “Bullshit. We already knew before that we would meet resistance in the tunnels. Think about it, Armin. If there were that superior in numbers, then they would not have had to do all this work at all. Not even Ella knows exactly how many soldiers survived the coup. I mean, alone with those who are with us now, or with Karim on the way to Neckarwestheim
, they already miss two dozen. I say we send the starvers forward, as we discussed. It’s their business to get along with their countrymen anyway and...” Mariam became dizzy when Armin answered. “Wanda, we took them with us because they wanted to come and because they might be useful to us, that’s true. But not to burn them to no purpose, or...” Blood shot into Mariam’s head as she saw Ella’s friendly, bony face in front of her, and her right hand clenched around the grip of her pistol as she involuntarily clenched the other to a fist. She saw black spots in front of her eyes. She wanted to breathe, but she couldn’t. “It was you who said that they were to die anyway,” Wanda interrupted Armin. Then it broke out of Mariam. “No! No, Wanda! You’re not gonna kill Ella! You’re not gonna kill any of our friends anymore, you hear? You won’t do to Ella what you did to Eva!” The adults fell silent abruptly. For a second, they both stared at Mariam. Armin’s voice was now a menacing growl. “What did you just say, girl? What ...” Then his head flew around to Wanda again. He had noticed the change in her posture, noticed how she had fixed him and brought her hand near her gun. In that second he had begun to believe Mariam’s words unreservedly. “Armin, listen to me. She didn’t...” But Armin didn’t want to hear anything anymore, and he was faster than Wanda. His fist hit her hard in the middle of the body and she folded forward. Then he pulled her up again, grabbed her by the neck, and with a few quick steps he had pushed her all the way to the edge of the former bridge. Her fingernails dug into his paws, but it didn’t help. One of her legs struggled for support. Mariam was perplexed. That’s not what she wanted. She just wanted her friend to stay alive. Not like so many others. And Wanda should stay alive, too. They should all stay alive. In the corner of her eye she saw that Breitmann jumped up from his cover and ran over to them. Then Leander’s voice, this time not on the radio, but roaring from the top of his throat: “Armin! Armin, they’re coming!”