Forbidden Love

by Phillips, Laura

  Madison couldn’t even begin to imagine what might have happened if she’d slept with Kacey and someone had found out. One of Kacey’s friends might suspect, or someone might have seen Kacey leaving her apartment, and then her career could’ve very easily been over.

  She really liked Kacey, but she wasn’t worth that risk. Madison had spent the last twenty-one years getting to where she was now, and she could have wasted all of that time and effort over a woman that she barely knew.

  Madison got into bed, hoping that she’d be able to move on from this without dwelling on it too much. She just needed to get through the next few weeks and with a bit of luck, she wouldn’t run into Kacey on campus. She hadn’t so far.

  Madison sighed as she rolled onto her side. She’d have to tell Ashley what happened, and she wasn’t sure if she’d be sympathetic or tell her that she was idiot.

  Probably the latter.

  Ashley’s carefree way of waltzing through life always clashed with Madison’s view of the world. She liked being in control. She liked to know what was happening next. Ashley would probably tell her that she should lie low and wait, but Madison knew she wouldn’t be able to forgive Kacey anytime soon, if at all.

  Chapter 17

  Kacey unlocked the door of her apartment, leaving her bag by the door, and sunk down into the sofa, her face in her hands. She couldn’t believe she’d let this happen.

  I should have told her on the beach...

  Kacey was glad her mother was back at work tomorrow. She was going to spend all of her time studying. If she got lost in the stress of finals, maybe she could forget about what had just happened.

  Kacey leaned back into the cushions, closing her eyes, but as soon as she shut them all she could think about was the way Madison had kissed her just a few minutes ago, and there was no running from this massive screw up. It was going to haunt her, and Kacey didn’t know how she was going to get over this.

  She’d put herself in this position, and there was no one else to blame. That was the hardest part, that she could have prevented this.

  If I’d told Madison on the beach, she probably wouldn’t have agreed to see me again, but I could have waited and figured out how to see her in the summer, when I wouldn’t have been her student anymore...

  It was easy to look back now and see where she could have done things differently, but that wasn’t helping Kacey right now. It just made everything worse. There was an easy solution to this, but Kacey had ignored it, preferring instant gratification over waiting until she had graduated, and now she was paying the price.

  The way Madison had looked at her just before she left gave Kacey very little hope that Madison might change her mind. She was not only angry. She was hurt. Madison’s green eyes had said it all, piercing through her as she asked her to leave.

  Kacey pushed herself off the couch. There was nothing she could do about this now, except focus on college and wait. Maybe, if she was lucky, she’d get another chance, but Kacey wasn’t so sure. She had a feeling that Madison would never forgive her.

  Kacey climbed into bed after stripping off her clothes and curled up in a ball, knowing that sleep wasn’t far away. Despite everything that had just happened, she was exhausted. She’d had a long day at college, followed by a shift at the restaurant, and then the short time she’d spent at Madison’s. Tomorrow was another day, and she’d just have to figure out how to move on from this.

  Chapter 18

  Madison ordered another round of drinks while Ashley sat across from her with her jaw dropped.

  “You’re not joking, are you?” Ashley asked, her eyes narrowing.

  “Definitely not.”

  “I mean... I knew Kacey was in college, but I thought she was studying business.”

  “She is. That’s her major, but her minor is psychology.”

  “And she’s in your class... Holy shit,” Ashley said, finishing her beer.

  “I asked her to leave as soon as I realized that she was. No one else is going to hear about this, so don’t think about telling anyone about this conversation or what happened at the wedding, okay?”

  Ashley raised her hands in mock defeat. “My lips are sealed... So that’s it?”

  “Yes... I’m not risking my job over this.”

  “She’s graduating in two weeks though... Why not just wait?”

  “Ugh, that’s what she suggested... Kacey lied to me. She should have been honest with me,” she said as the waiter arrived with two more beers.

  “Yeah but look at it from her point of view. If she said something to you, she was all but guaranteed to get dumped.”

  “But that’s so selfish,” Madison said, taking a drink. “What about me? If I didn’t find out, and we kept going... I could have lost my job. I wouldn’t have known to be careful. One of my colleagues might have found out... And then what?”

  “I know, I know,” Ashley said, shaking her head. “I’m just looking at it from both sides.”

  “Well, there’s nothing to look at. It’s over before we even got started.”

  “I’m sorry, Madison. Really. Kacey’s great... She’s responsible and hardworking. I don’t think she would have purposely put you in any danger. I don’t think you were some sort of conquest for her is what I’m trying to say.”

  “No, I don’t think so. It happened so... Naturally.”

  “How’d you leave it?” Ashley asked.

  “I asked her to leave my apartment... That was three days ago. I’ve been busy at work since, and I’m not contacting her. There’s nothing to say.”

  “I haven’t seen her in a few days. Elizabeth’s back though, so maybe it has nothing to do with you.”

  “I doubt it does. She has finals. She’s probably studying.”

  Ashley sighed. “You were extremely unlucky, Madison.”

  “I know... But shit happens.”

  “Do you want to go out this weekend? Blow off some steam?”

  “I wouldn’t mind the drinking part, but I don’t think I can handle a gay bar... I don’t want to meet anyone, and I don’t think I will for quite a while.”

  “Okay,” Ashley said, reaching for her beer.

  Madison really couldn’t believe her luck and saying it out loud somehow made her feel worse. That’s because I’ve been living in denial for the last three days.

  She’d gone to work the next morning like nothing had happened, but she knew she had a tough night ahead. She couldn’t keep avoiding the stack of papers on her desk that needed to be graded. She’d already decided that she was going to flip over the cover page on all the remaining papers so that she wouldn’t see the student’s name. She knew it would be almost impossible to look at Kacey’s paper with the same neutrality that she gave her other students, so she had to keep them anonymous. She’d had so many students this year, it hadn’t been an issue until now. She hardly knew anyone’s name.

  Madison just needed to get through these next few weeks and bumping into Kacey was her biggest concern right now, because she knew that seeing her might make her change her mind, and she couldn’t do that. She had to stay true to herself and being with someone who could lie like that wouldn’t do her any favors.

  Chapter 19

  “Hey,” Kacey said as she pulled out a bar stool and sat down beside her mother, wrapping her arm around her.

  “Well, hello,” Elizabeth said, hugging her back. “I was starting to get a little worried. I mean, I know you had finals to study for, but I’ve only seen you once since I’ve been back.”

  “Sorry, I had more work to do than I thought I did.”

  Kacey had been dodging every phone call and text since that disastrous night at Madison’s, using her finals as the excuse, even though she’d been pretty well prepared. She just wasn’t up to socializing and putting a smile on her face. Now that her exams were over though, Kacey had to get her shit together.

  “But it went well?” her mother asked.

  “Yeah,” Kacey said with a shrug.
“I’m confident.”

  “Good. We can move on to celebrating. You’ve put in a lot of work over the last four years,” Elizabeth said, motioning the bartender over, and Kacey ordered a glass of wine.

  “I don’t want to do anything.”

  “Are you okay?” her mother said, turning to face her, examining her with narrowed eyes. “I thought you’d be happy to have those tests behind you.”

  “I am. I’m fine.”

  “Kacey, don’t lie to me.”

  Kacey covered her face with her hands. If she was going to tell anyone about this, it might as well be her mother.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, pushing the wine glass that had just arrived towards her.

  Kacey took a sip while she figured out how much she wanted to say. “I messed up... I met someone at the wedding.”

  “What?” her mother asked, a hint of excitement in her voice. Ever since Kacey had come out, her mother had been so supportive, and Kacey knew she was rooting for her to find someone special. It just hadn’t happened yet.

  “She’s beautiful... But the timing was off. It didn’t work out,” Kacey said, staring at her wine glass, afraid to meet her mother’s eyes, knowing that she’d see right through her.

  “Who is she? I must have known her if she was at the wedding.”

  “No. She was a plus one. She wasn’t on the guest list.”

  “I might still know her,” Elizabeth said softly. “What kind of bad timing? Is she seeing someone else?”

  “No. Well, technically she was... That wasn’t the problem though,” Kacey said with a sigh. “I need to forget about her. I had my finals to worry about before, but now... I don’t know. I need to find something to do, or I feel like I’m going to go crazy.”

  “Well, you can work here. I was talking to Sherri last week about hiring another waitress. We’re heading into the tourist season, and we could always use more staff. You could even try out the management position. Matt’s thinking of going sailing for a few days, but I know he’s reluctant to ask for the time off.”

  “I don’t know...”

  “Think about it. I don’t want to pressure you.”

  “I know, and I will think about it.”

  Right now, Kacey just wanted to crawl into her bed and sleep for a week. She felt like a walking zombie. She’d had a lot of sleepless nights lately, staying up late to study and then being too tired to actually sleep properly. She’d go home tonight and spend as much time in bed as she needed to. She’d made no plans for the future. She’d work a few days at the restaurant to pay her bills, but that was about it, and as boring as that sounded, that was exactly what she needed right now.

  Chapter 20

  Madison woke up, the sunlight shining in her eyes, her head throbbing as she untangled herself from the sheets. She sat up, but the sudden movement brought on a wave of nausea, and she carefully lowered herself back down until her head sunk into the pillow.

  What the hell...?

  Oh. Ashley. Straight bar.

  Madison closed her eyes. She’d drank way too much last night, but she blamed it on Ashley’s choice of venue. The first night that Madison and Ashley had gone out since the incident with Kacey, Madison suggested a wine bar, and they’d had a great night. She knew she wasn’t ready to go to a gay bar and get involved with anyone else, so the wine bar was a safe place, but Ashley decided last night that they wouldn’t go to the same bar twice, they’d go clubbing instead.

  Madison laughed when Ashley said it, but she was serious, and since Ashley had gone to the wine bar the other night, Ashley thought she was entitled to choose the bar last night, and she chose a club where at least the DJ played hits from the eighties and nineties, but that also meant they spent the night on the dance floor.

  Madison didn’t know how she’d had time to drink enough to feel this way. They had spent the entire night dancing.

  Shots.

  It came back to her then along with another wave of nausea. Why had they done shots?

  Oh yeah... Because we were getting hit on, and what better way to ignore those guys than to get drunk and dance?

  That was the last time she was going to a straight bar with Ashley. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. She felt like something had died in her mouth, but she couldn’t find the strength to get up and brush her teeth. She carefully turned her head to the side, ready to reach for the bottle of water that was always on her nightstand, but it wasn’t there.

  Why....

  Madison wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. This was not how she wanted to spend her first day of summer vacation. She should be happy. She wouldn’t be back at college until the end of August, and she had some patients to see over the summer, but Madison didn’t know what she’d do with her free time. She dreaded it, and she couldn’t even drown her sorrows, because she didn’t know when she’d be able to look at alcohol again, never mind drink it.

  Madison closed her eyes, willing the pain just above her eyebrows to fade. She wanted to call Ashley and complain about her current state, but she didn’t think she could even speak. Her mouth was so dry.

  She found her phone underneath her pillow and squinted, trying to focus on the screen. No new messages. No missed calls. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting. Well, maybe she did. She was half expecting Kacey to send her a message, another apology, but she hadn’t heard from her since she left her apartment, and that was more than a month ago.

  Madison didn’t think she’d give her another chance, but it kind of hurt her that Kacey had moved on, not giving her a second thought. Madison was still thinking about Kacey and what might have been, but when she never heard from her, she had to assume that Kacey was over her.

  I need to move on... Fast.

  If she didn’t, this summer was going to last forever. She probably needed a night out, at a gay bar, as hard as that might be.

  Chapter 21

  Kacey squeezed into the tiny space beside Sherri at the bar, both of them trying to get the bartender’s attention. Kacey hadn’t been looking forward to tonight, but now that she was here, and she’d had a few drinks, she was starting to lighten up. Sherri finally got the bartender’s attention and ordered two more cocktails.

  “I hope you didn’t feel like we had to go to a gay bar,” Kacey said over the music as they headed towards one of the sofas that had freed up.

  “No. I wanted to. Besides, I want you to meet my friend. I’m sure you’ve heard me talk about Brooke?”

  Kacey nodded. “Yeah. You’ve mentioned her before. She’s a nurse, right?”

  “Yeah. That’s her. She should be here any minute now,” Sherri said, checking her watch. “I hope that’s okay. This is where I usually meet her.”

  “She’s gay?”

  Sherri nodded. “And just as reluctant as you to come out tonight.”

  “Why?”

  “Another heartbroken lesbian. She thought she met ‘the one’ a few weeks ago, but this woman wanted an open relationship and that was that.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Yeah, so I finally got her out tonight.”

  Kacey sat down beside Sherri, moving the cushions behind her until she was comfortable. “I hope you’re not setting me up.”

  “You might not say that when you see her,” Sherri said with a laugh. “But seriously, I’m not setting you up. You’re both my friends, and you could both use a night out.”

  “What’s in it for you?”

  “What do you mean? I’m doing my job as your friend. I don’t even want to know how long it would have taken you to go out if I hadn’t pleaded with you tonight.”

  “A long time,” Kacey said as she stirred her drink. “But I’m glad I came tonight, so thanks for being so persuasive.”

  “No problem... Oh there’s Brooke,” Sherri said, giving her a wave.

  Kacey followed Sherri’s eyes and a dark-haired woman waved back, weaving her way through the crowd.

  “I see what you mean...,” Kacey
said, her eyes traveling the length of her body, taking in the way her espresso colored hair flowed across her shoulders and how good she looked in her black shorts that showed off her tanned legs. As Brooke sat down on the sofa across from them with a cocktail in her hand, Kacey noticed her mocha eyes and the way her emerald green tank top brought out the flecks of deep green that swirled among the rich shades of brown.

  “Hey, Brooke. This is my friend Kacey. Her family own the restaurant where I work,” Sherri said.

  “Hi,” Brooke said, flashing her a warm smile. “I’ve been there a few times. I love tapas night. That shrimp dish... I can’t remember what it was called... It was to die for.”

  “Brooke’s a foodie,” Sherri explained.

  “It’s nice to finally meet you,” Kacey said, returning her smile. “Sherri’s always talking about you.”

  “All good I hope?”

  “Always,” Kacey said, grinning at Sherri who was probably terrified that she’d say something she shouldn’t. Sherri used to joke that she wasn’t one-hundred percent sure she was straight because of Brooke, and now Kacey could see why. Brooke was gorgeous.

  I definitely have a type... Brooke was probably in a few years older than Sherri, maybe in her mid-thirties.

  “So, what have I missed?” Brooke asked, taking a sip of her drink.

  “Not much. We’ve been busy coming and going from the bar,” Sherri said.

  “So, you haven’t been dancing yet?”

  “Not yet,” Kacey said with a smile.

  “Then maybe we should?” Brooke suggested.

  “Sure,” Kacey said, glancing at Sherri as they finished their drinks and stood up.

  “I’m going to the restroom first,” Sherri said. “The line is always out the door. I’ll meet you two out there.”

  “Okay,” Brooke said, motioning for Kacey to follow her, reaching for her hand as they maneuvered their way through the busy bar area and onto the dance floor.

  Kacey could feel the alcohol taking effect now that she was moving to the music, aware of how close Brooke was to her. Kacey didn’t have any expectations for tonight. She wasn’t looking to hook up, but now that Brooke was in front of her, running her hand through her shiny dark hair as she danced, Kacey’s eyes flickered down to her lips.