The Accursed

by J G Koratzanis

  “What are you doing,” she said. He heard the squeak of sofa springs and followed from the corner of his eye as she rolled over and examined him.

  “Hang on, hang on. Just relax,” he smiled as he stepped back to her.

  Heather took the glass as he dumped the aspirin into her open palm.

  “I’ll be right back,” he said and snatched up his jeans and t-shirt.

  “Where’re you going?” she said.

  “I’ll be right back,” he repeated. He included a broach of jurisdiction to his tone that brought a smile to her lips.

  Chase stepped out of the apartment as he slipped on his shirt and bare feet rapidly padded down the six flights of stairs.

  A few minutes afterward when he returned, he fixed at the door when he saw Heather standing by the entertainment center, blanket cinched around like a toga. When she turned, his heart fluttered.

  “You don’t have any pictures up. How come,” she said.

  “I don’t know. Never thought about it,”

  “I left you mine on the coffee table. I hope it gets framed by the next time I’m here.”

  “It will. Sit,” he said and stepped back to the bed.

  “Lose the clothes,” she said. “Or should I put mine back on?”

  His head shook as he dropped the plastic bag from his hand to the floor and undid his buttons and kicked off his jeans next to the bed.

  “Can’t believe how fucking cold it got. It’s barely Halloween,” he added as he peeled off his shirt.

  Heather stepped around and sat on the opposite side, leaned over and kissed Chase. It landed on the side of his nose and it halted his breath as he allowed the surge of her energy course through him.

  “Sit. Lean forward. Face the TV,” he said.

  She brought her knees to her chest as he placed the plastic bag before her.

  “What’s this?” she said as she reached inside.

  “Häagen Daz cookie dough. Said it was your favorite when you’re not feeling good,” he said and massaged her back. Whether her delight came from the ice cream or his touch, he didn’t ask nor care.

  “You even got me a spoon,” she hummed.

  His hands worked into her muscles and swept under her untamed hair, over her shoulders, and down her arms before he began again.

  “Why are you doing this for me?” she said.

  “You feel like you might have a fever. Are you coming down with something?”

  She shook her head as she spooned the ice cream.

  “That’s it? Because I might be sick?”

  His hands stopped at the curve of her waist.

  “I want to take care of you,” he whispered and kissed her on the neck.

  “I want you to,” she said.

  V

  A few weeks, a few dates and immeasurable hours of conversation had finally led Chase and Heather in a direction, he didn’t believe, neither expected. From silly questions as to the other’s favorite birthday cake, to where they expected to be in five years, through what would be the perfect date, it was more than Chase hoped for. Smitten, would be putting it mildly about how he felt about Heather when he was dragged to the firepit. But love at first, sight was sickeningly cliché. He loved Misa, somehow. He didn’t love her enough to stick around, that much he understood. It was a six-month stint that gave him experience in every way. He thanked her for it, he loved her for it, but that was the extent of it. And that was Okay.

  For the time they were together, Chase shut out his friends. Not deliberately, but out nonetheless. The night Chase and the gang showed up at Sammie’s, he understood why. He didn’t want to make the same mistake twice. His friends were his family. Their collective opinion mattered. Finding someone with that certain light one wishes to bask in does not come easy. Finding someone to seek your light is even harder. The darkness, it seemed, had lost its battle to light. He hoped.

  It was Heather’s birthday. The first Chase had to privilege to share with. The first of many he hoped. He didn’t give her notice of his birthday until two days after, much to her displeasure. She wasn’t angry, that was for sure. Hurt? Maybe. Upset? Probably.

  “Why would you deny me the pleasure of celebrating your birthday? Birthday’s aren’t all about the birthday boy or girl, you know. It’s for everyone. I'd say remember that for next year, but now that I know, it won’t happen again.”

  It won’t happen again. He chuckled at first before his chest tightened and his grin spread so far, he thought his head would flop over. The next time was in another year. Not once in his life, family, friends, employers, had anyone intended any plans with Chase that far away.

  “But for my birthday, we’re doing something special. Dickinson’s isn’t the kind of place women want to be wooed at over and over. It’s a bar.”

  “What do you want to do?” he said.

  “Surprise me.”

  The lush greens and reds of the trees along I-87 that whipped by painted the Upstate landscape in hues of openness and possibilities. The many drives he took to Cromwell never seemed as bright, warm and inviting. It could have been that he either rode or drove alone and paid a little too much attention to his destination and not the journey. Maybe it was because he took the trip alone, once or twice with Rick. Or maybe it was because of who was driving. Heather’s Ford Focus was cramped for his stature but tolerable. Adjusting the seat as far back as leg room was concerned and closing his eyes as the wind blew through his hair through the opened window, the journey had turned into the most welcoming venture of his life.

  He watched Heather tap her thumb against the steering wheel as she sang along with the chorus of Living on a Prayer. Tendrils of raven locks whipped and flapped with the breeze about her neck and face. Every now and again would she raise her dainty hand and brush some of it behind her ear. Every time she did, she noticed him watching her, and smiled. They remained silent, enjoying the music, the warm summer air and the picturesque vistas as the mountains of the Catskills loomed overhead.

  “We could’ve gone to Central Park, you know?” she said.

  “No, no. I know I’m recalling correctly when you said one of your favorite places is Cooper Lake. And you always wanted to have a picnic up there in the summer.”

  “Then why am I driving?”

  “I wanted to enjoy the view,” he said as he ran the back of his fingers across her cheek and combed her hair behind her ear. “Do you think it’s going to be crowded by the Lake?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t been here since I was a little girl. My mom and dad used to come up here all the time. I came up only once.”

  “Anything you can remember? A nice restaurant, camping spot? The last thing I want is to drag us three hours up here and it be all mobbed up or closed down.”

  “I called ahead. It’s going to be perfect for our picnic. We have reservations at The Windsor for dinner at seven. And we’re staying at the Cooper Lake Cottages. I booked, but you’re paying. It’s my birthday. And you’re not driving me all the way home after all this.”

  “I didn’t plan on it. When I called the Cottage-place, after letting them know I’ve never been up there, told them that you have. I said your name, they asked your last name and told me you already made the reservation.”

  Heather glanced over at Chase and smiled. He didn’t need to see behind the dark sunglasses to understand the emotion behind them. She reached out, put her hand on his thigh. He took it and kissed the back of it.

  The playful laughter, teasing and tickles when the other wouldn’t spill the beans on what they were thinking under the oak tree beside the Lake, enveloped Chase’s childish spirit.

  As they remained there, laying on the blanket, Heather picked herself up and gazed upon him. The brilliant June sun blazed behind her as raven tresses cascaded over her shoulders, the straps of her sundress hung lazily in pink, white and blue floral patterns, she ran her fingers along his cheek and hummed.

  “What are you thinking about? Really?” she sa
id.

  He licked his lips as he couldn’t look away. “You.”

  “What about me?”

  He smiled.

  The Sirloin-for-Two at the Windsor was a blur as they mostly ate in silence. He hoped everything he wanted to say, everything he felt shone through his eyes. He believed it did when she would close her eyes as she dipped her head to her shoulder.

  Cabin number six, the same as their birthday months, gave Heather reason to gasp, and Chase even more to gawk. The massive hearth was already alight. The crackle of popping embers delighted the room in scents of charred wood in the crisp night air. The floorboards creaked under Heather’s footfalls as she sauntered towards the double doors leading to the back of the cabin. The view of the setting sun upon Cooper Lake glittered in golds, blues, and greens of the surrounding landscape. She slid the door open, breathed deep, and paused as nature’s serenade greeted the night.

  Chase stepped up behind and wrapped his arms around her. She laced her fingers with his and squeezed.

  “Happy birthday, angel,” he whispered.

  Heather whirled around, threw her arms over Chase’s shoulders and drew him in tight. Unable to wait any longer, he kissed her. Hard. Their tongues rolled together as they both moaned and breathed heavily. Feet slipped between each other as they moved towards the bed. Heather tripped and pulled Chase down with her. It didn’t halt their kiss.

  He pawed all over her body, grasping at her dress in search of a hold. She rolled them both over to his back and knelt on top of him. Shifting side to side, Heather wrangled the hem of her dress, stripped it over her head and tossed it to the floor. Breath halted in his chest as he remained fixed on her gaze, instead of her supple breasts. She reached between her legs and undid the buttons of his shirt from the bottom up. After the final one, she tore his shirt open and exposed his heaving chest. A hand reached up behind her head and dragged her down into his swirling ocean of desire.

  Rolling over once more, he pinned her wrists to the bed about her head.

  “Stay,” he commanded. She nodded.

  Chase stood at the foot of the bed, opened each button of his fly without taking his gaze from her. Narrowed eyes and a sly smile blared his intent like trumpets. His heart thundered in his chest. He didn’t know, nor did he care if she was able to see it. If she did, she would know even more of his purpose.

  He kicked off his jeans and crawled upon the bed and atop of her. Eyes as wide as they could be, Heather nodded as Chase reached between his legs, gripped himself and lead his way towards her waiting lust.

  Eyes locked, her mouth went agape as he pushed inside of her. He rested on his elbows, pressed nosed to nose as his hips slowly pressed against hers.

  He buried his face in the pillow beside her as he continued. Nails dug into his back as he pushed. Grunts muffled into the side of her neck as he thrust.

  The crackling fire silenced, the moonlit serenade hushed, and time ceased to exist as he pushed his last inside of her. Emotion sang in his heart, passion danced through his mind, and his lips were reluctant to release. The way her eyes pierced his shell, the way her voice soothed his heart, the touch from her fingertips sent his spirit aloft, the way their minds came together, it was time. There was nothing more. It was everything.

  Light sparkled about the glistening sweat upon her heaving chest. Breasts glistened in the moonlight as gasps continued to sweep through her. A bead of sweat, or emotion rambled from her eyelids as he inched forward. He inhaled deeply her sweet breath and closed his eyes. He wanted to, needed to tell her. All doubt faded away as her eyes returned his heart.

  “I love you,” he said.

  VI

  The sense of impending doom had nagged Chase for the better part of the last two months. And when the hammer came down, he had expected a bludgeoning. Not that he ever prepared for the worst, he just knew life would take a shit. It usually had. And one thing Chase learned to accept, whatever soared would crash. Gravity always sucked.

  “Come on up, I’ll buzz you in,” Chase said into the intercom.

  He dashed across the studio apartment, hit the buzzer and opened the door.

  Sixth-floors to trudge. Plenty of time to slide the Easyriders magazines under the couch, hide dirty laundry and toss the dishes in the washer.

  He picked up the heavy-heeled shoes clomp atop the floor landing twenty feet down the hall. Ten seconds left, he scanned the studio one final time.

  “Good enough,” he said and bounced onto the black leather couch as the front door creaked open.

  “Cleaning up for me? Aw, thank you,” Heather said and hung her purse on the key hook next to the door as she allowed her parka to slip off from her shoulders and onto the floor.

  “Nah, I was just—”

  “Cleaning. Or jerking off to your magazines. Which one?” she smiled.

  One of the many things he loved about Heather was her wit. It was dry and somewhat flip but always spot on.

  “Figured I’d rub out the easy one before you got here,” he said. Heather squeezed his face with one hand and kissed his squished, pursed lips.

  “Don’t be gross,” she said. “What’s going on? You sounded off on the phone.”

  “We had a sit-down this morning with Tony,” he said.

  “A sit-down.”

  “That’s what he called it.”

  “And?”

  “A developer bought out the lease from his landlord. He has thirty days to vacate. He’s not opening shop again. Said he’d rather retire than start over.”

  Heather plopped down next to him and snuggled in. Chase breathed deep her intoxicating lavender scent.

  “Do what you wish,” she said, picked up the remote to the television as his head jerked towards her.

  “What did you say?” he said. Words all too familiar echoed in his head.

  “Whatever would you like to do, just do it.”

  “Wait. You’re not pissed?”

  “Why would I be? This might be your chance to do, be or have anything you want. It’s all up to you.”

  “It’s not that easy,” he huffed. “No college, half deaf and a blue-collar history doesn’t lend much by way of choices,” he said.

  “You always have a choice, Chase. Remember that.” She pulled his face towards her and kissed him on the side of his nose. “I love you.”

  “You what,” he recoiled. “Say again?”

  A huge grin almost split his head in half. He had waited for those words for what seemed like an eternity. And the wait to hear it again felt longer.

  “I love you, Chase Romano. I have since that night in Cromwell.”

  His pulse quickened, and the butterflies swarmed in his belly. He had told her he was in love with her weeks ago. He assumed, hoped she said it with her eyes as she laid there, panting, sweating, euphoric.

  It wasn’t too soon, was it? How soon is too soon when you know, with every fiber of your being, that you’re in love?

  Heather pulled him back in again, pressed her forehead against his and gazed into his eyes.

  “Listen to me good because I’m not going to repeat myself. I’ve been burned too many times before and... I felt something that scared me. Love. The real deal. And that you might be the One,” she paused. He felt the inquisition in her angelic gaze. “That wasn’t easy for me to get a handle on. I’ve never felt like this before. And so help me if you’re just fucking with me. But I knew... I needed a little more time than you did to figure it out. You better not fuck this up, mister.”

  Chase beamed. “Say it again.”

  “I love you, Chase Romano.” The look in her eyes told the truth. Her incontrovertible truth. It was his even more.

  “I love you, Heather Andreasen. I promise I’m not bullshitting you.”

  VII

  “What’s the matter, baby,” Heather said as she noticed Chase had not touched his beer for some time. He did not seem to hear her as he continued to wring his hands. Fine beads of sweat dotted his forehead, whi
ch Heather eagerly dabbed with her napkin. He considered her touch and smiled.

  “Me? Nothing. Just… I don’t know. Maybe I’m coming down with something,” he said.

  “You don’t look sick. Maybe sick in the head,” Jackie said and fingered the plate of nachos. Rick put the back of his hand to Chase’s brow.

  “Eh, you feel a little warm. Why don’t you lose the jacket? We didn’t even eat yet,” he said. “Stay a while.”

  Dickinson’s hummed with excitement as the days had become longer and the nights a little warmer. Those who couldn’t make it out to Yankee Stadium or Citi Field for the preseason games came here to celebrate their hometown teams with equal fervor. And the two-dollar drafts served every Saturday night between four and eight, celebrating future Hall of Famer, Derek Jeter, drew larger and larger crowds every season.

  “I’ll be right back,” Chase said.

  “Where are you going?” Jackie said.

  Chase didn’t answer as he shuffled between patrons and tables towards the restroom. Something in his head nagged for recognition, but what it was he couldn’t pinpoint. He guessed it might have been his dark companion he had discounted for the last couple of years, and feared it would assert its authority, its dominion, over him.

  Therapy, medication, meditation was considered and rejected within his own battle to control his mind, his life, his destiny.

  Did he ever have any control, he didn’t believe so. There had always been people, events, and circumstances that impeded the aspirations that always kicked him in the balls and laugh as he collapsed. The Deus ex Machina that mocked with reckless abandon, pissed him off to no end. And the lines making their permanence in his brow reminded him of his failings. It wasn’t fair. But compared to the unfairness of his recollections of his parents being dead and gone, it was too fucking much at this point.

  “Revel in the greatness of your life,” Jackie had said. “Focus on all things right, and you’ll see the negative turn around.”

  Bullshit.

  New-age, cosmic thinking, mumbo-jumbo he could never wrap his head around. If people possessed such psionic powers, wouldn’t everyone win the lottery? Loved ones returned from the dead? Enemies smote by God’s justice.