Europa

by Robert Mills

  In those days Meena had the most even temperament of anyone I’ve ever met and this made her very easy to be with. If I suggested going to the cineplex, she would agree and would also let me choose the film. If I suggested going walking, she would leave it to me to decide where we should go. I wished that she would take the lead sometimes, but she was clearly content to go along with whatever I came up with. One benefit of this was that we almost never argued.

  Now that I had a regular companion, I was able to make the most of the opportunities which living in London had to offer. Although my salary was not large, my outgoings were modest and I was able to enjoy a lifestyle that included eating out and going to the cineplex and theatre regularly. On one occasion Meena was given tickets for the ballet and we went to New Sadlers Wells, where I was surprised at the noise generated by the impact of ballet shoes on the stage. I also took her to visit an art gallery but, although she tried to look interested, I could tell that she was bored and on reflection I decided not to suggest going again. This disappointed me, but I recognised that there had to be give and take in any relationship.

  About two months later I met Marvin for a drink after work and he asked me how I was getting on with Meena. I replied that we enjoyed each other’s company very much.

  “I’m really pleased,” he said smiling. “Liv’s thrilled as well. They were best friends at school, you know. She says she thinks that you two would be perfect for each other.”

  “Steady on,” I said. “We’re still getting to know each other.”

  “Fair enough.” He paused then continued, “I had some good news last week. An uncle of mine on my father’s side has left me some money in his will. It’s not a huge sum, but well worth having. It gives me the opportunity to do something that I’ve been considering for a while now. I’m going to start my own business.”

  “That’s a big step,” I said. “Won’t it be rather risky?”

  He shrugged. “There’s always risk in business,” he said, “but I really like the idea of being my own boss. I think I can see a niche market I can exploit. The thing is that more and more robots are being used in almost every walk of life. That means there’s a growing need for robot maintenance and the manufacturers are keen to subcontract the work. That’s where I come in.”

  “What does Liv think?”

  “She’s a bit apprehensive, but she won’t oppose me if I want to go ahead. That’s one of the things I love about her. She has always supported me, regardless of what I want to do.”

  “Will she keep on working then?”

  “Yes, for the time being. She’s very keen to start a family and of course when the baby comes she’ll give up and stay at home.”

  “I know she’ll lose her job if she gets pregnant, but surely she’ll have to work until the business gets off the ground?”

  “Yes, but it shouldn’t take long to get established. I’ve got a lot of contacts in the industry.”

  “You’ll need a bigger place to live as well, if you’re going to have children.”

  “We want to buy a place of our own anyway, just as soon as we can.”

  Much later I was to learn that Liv had wanted to use Marvin’s inheritance to buy an apartment. Although she had agreed to him starting the business, she resented the fact that his decision effectively put her own plans on hold. To her credit, she showed suitable enthusiasm when Marvin showed the two of us round his newly acquired workshops and office. The location, in an outlying suburb of London, was unattractive but Marvin had negotiated a long lease at a modest rate, which left him with sufficient funds to buy equipment and spare parts.

  I must admit that I felt at the time that Marvin was unduly optimistic about the development of his business and I rather think that Liv felt the same. However, although the first year was a difficult one for the fledgling enterprise, Marvin quickly established a healthy customer base and demonstrated the ability to provide a high quality, timely service. This was in a large part because he’d hired some skilled technicians who used to work for his previous employers at increased salaries. Before long he had established a considerable reputation in his chosen field and had established his company on a firm financial footing.

  At the end of my one-year traineeship, I was offered a post as a junior manager on Callisto, which I duly declined. I therefore returned to the family home and started applying for other jobs. By this time Oakwood had been swallowed by the advancing edge of South East London and was merely another suburb. The garden of my parents’ home had been reduced to a small area around the house itself, the rest now being occupied by a low-cost government housing development. All over Europe, and indeed the rest of the world, cities were growing at a frightening rate to accommodate the expanding population and the increasing need for commercial and industrial development. Some parts of the country were reserved for high intensity agriculture, but these areas were mainly outside the south east of England.

  At first I rather enjoyed my enforced idleness and I made regular trips to London to see Meena. However, as the weeks passed my parents became uneasy. As usual it was my mother who was the mouthpiece of parental authority.

  “Darling, it’s lovely to have you home,” she said, looking at me earnestly, “but you will have to do something with your life sooner or later, you know. I’d hate to see you end up in the underclass.”

  “I’m well aware of that,” I said, trying not to let my annoyance show in my voice. “Actually I was thinking I might try to get a job in a field other than management.”

  “What sort of job?”

  “I don’t know really.” She gave me a look that blended pity and annoyance in equal measure.

  My father, who worked for a multi-planetary corporation with offices in central London, drew to my attention a vacancy in their insurance department. The job wasn’t an interesting one and I was clearly overqualified for it, but I decided that it would provide me with an income while I sorted myself out. Reluctantly I put in an application that was duly accepted. My mother suggested that I live at home and commute into central London with my father, but I had other ideas. I suggested to Meena that we rent a flat together but she said it wouldn’t be appropriate. When I asked her why, she said that we hadn’t known each other long and anyway her parents wouldn’t approve. Eventually, I managed to find a place in a flat not far from the office, owned by a space-line pilot.

  For a while I rather enjoyed my new lifestyle. The days were boring but my evenings and weekends were my own and in many ways it was like being a student again without the inconvenience of study and exams. Compared to other young men of that period my flatmate was tidy and considerate and we got along pretty well. His work involved regular trips to Mars and Luna, so I had the place to myself for long periods. Meena spent quite a lot of time at my flat but consistently rejected my suggestions that she should spend the night there.

  My fondest memories of that period are of the occasions when Marvin, Liv, Meena and I went out together as a foursome. I particularly remember a glorious June day when we decided to take a trip to the South London Country Park. An area to the west of Oakwood had been retained in its original state to provide a recreational area for the people of London. There was a transit station on the edge of the park, and soon we had escaped the urban sprawl and were walking in a wooded area. We found a place where small electric cars could be rented and set off in one of these to explore more of the park.

  Just after midday we stopped at what was described as ‘the village pub’, a name that Marvin explained had been used for bars in rural areas in the distant past, and sat outside with our drinks: beer for Marvin and I and cocktails for the girls. Marvin was in a buoyant mood and held forth at length about the great progress that his company had made over the last few months.

  “Business is all very well,” he mused, “but this is the real life. I think I’d like to live in the country someday.”<
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  “That’s all very well,” said Liv, “but you’ve always lived in towns and cities. In any case the countryside is disappearing fast. There’s precious little chance of us ever living somewhere like this.”

  “I see what Marvin means,” I put in, “but a city like London has so much to offer. Isn’t that right, Meena?”

  “It’s very pretty here, but there aren’t any shops,” was her reply.

  We drove on and at length Marvin stopped at an area of woodland. This had once been the park of a large house, the ruins of which could still be made out. A path winding down from the main lawn led to the long disused and overgrown tennis court. Hand-in-hand we wandered amongst the tall trees and rhododendron bushes. Our circular walk brought us back to the ruins and Marvin suggested that we stay there while he returned to the car to collect the picnic bag that they’d brought with them. From this all manner of delights, which Liv had packed, were removed and consumed with relish.

  On the return journey we were more subdued and Meena fell asleep in the transit vehicle with her head on my shoulder. As I glanced down at her, looking so peaceful and vulnerable, I was consumed by a desire to care for her and protect her. I kissed her gently on the forehead but she didn’t stir. As we journeyed on together in silent companionship I couldn’t help feeling how perfect it was that we should be together. Marvin and I, Marvin and Liv, Liv and Meena, Meena and I, the perfect symmetry of our relationships seemed a compelling reason for Meena and I to marry. And yet I had doubts. Meena seemed reluctant to be touched and when kissed broke away at the first opportunity. I told myself that this shyness wouldn’t continue once we were married, but I wondered if this would really be the case.

  There were other things that concerned me: it had become clear to me that Meena’s view of the world was very much based on monetary value rather than beauty and truth. Perhaps she was and still is a more practical person than I am. I’ve been accused of being a hopeless dreamer on more than one occasion. I also had the sneaking feeling that she saw me as a potential meal ticket as much as a life partner. On the basis of my track record to that point, it was difficult to see why she should think like that and I told myself that I was sadly mistaken.

  When we were back in London, Marvin suggested we go for a drink together before we went our separate ways.

  When Meena had retired to the ladies’ toilet, Liv turned to me. “So when are you two going to get married?” she asked.

  “Steady on, darling,” said Marvin. “Give them a chance.”

  “I just don’t think Symon realises how Meena feels about him. She talks to me, but she’s not good at talking about her feelings to other people. Anyway,” she said turning to me, “I think you’re just perfect for each other.”

  “We haven’t been together very long,” I said defensively. “I’m fond of her, of course, but marriage is a big commitment. In any case, I haven’t sorted out my career. I don’t plan to be an insurance clerk for the rest of my life.”

  Liv gave me a look that seemed to say: You men are all the same, scared of commitment and the prospect of settling down. However, the reality was that I’d reached a point where I was ready to contemplate marriage, but I wasn’t going to be talked into it by Liv. Looking back, I realise that if Liv had been my prospective bride I would have had no doubts about marrying her. But Meena was not Liv.

  Chapter Twelve

  The months rolled by and Meena and I continued to see each other regularly but, although she continued to refuse to have sex with me, I couldn’t bring myself to break up with her. I suppose I’d reached a point in my life when I was ready for marriage, perhaps because of my biological programming or simply because my contemporaries were taking the plunge all around me. I thought long and hard about Marvin and Liv’s keenness that we should stay together and the pleasures we enjoyed as a foursome. I considered my feelings for Meena and my desire for her body, which was undeniable. Did all this add up to an overwhelming argument in favour of marriage? I was still uncertain.

  In my heart of hearts I believed that an additional ingredient was needed, an all-consuming desire to be with that person to the exclusion of all others; in short, love. I’d experienced it with Gardenia, despite my youth and inexperience. However, it was an immature kind of love, perhaps more infatuation. Neither of us had any experience of relationships to draw on or the maturity to develop a long-term partnership. Still, I knew I wanted to feel it again, that plunging, reeling excitement, that quickening of the pulse, that glorious unease in the pit of the stomach.

  I told myself that my feelings for Meena were more mature and therefore more real and significant. I almost convinced myself that if we were happy together love would grow. I think I knew deep down that I was deluding myself and this made me hang back. I spent most of my free time with Meena and always referred to her as my girlfriend, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask her to marry me.

  I was aware that Meena was not happy with the situation. She let me know this in various ways. Sometimes it was by what she said and at other times by what she failed to say, but it was the looks she gave me, conveying as they did disappointment and hurt, of which I was most aware. I can see now that I should have raised the subject directly with her and been honest about my misgivings, but I was somehow unable to do this. The truth was that when it came to matters of real importance I found it very difficult to talk to Meena.

  Marvin and Liv continued their campaign to try and bring us together. Mostly it took the form of none-too-subtle hints, but at other times they adopted a full frontal assault. If this happened when Meena was present, I found it at best embarrassing and at worst humiliating.

  In desperation I took Marvin on one side. “This isn’t helping us,” I said earnestly. “We’ve got to work things out for ourselves.”

  “OK, Symon,” he said reluctantly, “I’ll stop if that’s what you really want.”

  “And you’ve got to speak to Liv as well,” I added. He nodded and for a while he was as good as his word.

  Matters came to a head when Marvin and Liv threw a party in their apartment. Naturally we were invited. Some people, I’ve found, have a knack for organising parties that are a great success. Others seem incapable of getting it quite right. They invite the wrong guests, serve the wrong refreshments and play the wrong music. During our student days Marvin and his flatmates had become almost legendary for their parties and it was Marvin who was always the prime mover. His enthusiasm and organisational flare made him the ideal person to take charge of the arrangements, so I expected a night to remember.

  We’d been asked to arrive early so that we could help with the preparations. I’d arranged to meet Meena at Marvin’s apartment, but I gained the impression by the coldness of her manner when she arrived that this had been a mistake. I should, I imagined, have insisted on collecting her from her own apartment and escorting her to the party, but I couldn’t see what difference this would have made and after all, it was considerably out of my way. I decided to ignore her icy manner on the assumption that after a couple of drinks and a dance all would be well again.

  We rearranged the furniture, unpacked the disposable glasses that Martin had bought and put out dishes of snacks. Marvin settled himself in front of the smartscreen in the living room and selected the music that would be played during the party and arranged the sequence of tracks in the appropriate order with his usual obsessive care. Liv had been dressed casually when we arrived and now she retired to the bedroom to change. Marvin surveyed the living room and pronounced that all was well.

  “I think it’s time we had a drink,” he said. “Come through to the kitchen and I’ll show you my new beer dispenser. It can handle four different kinds of beer at the same time, all at their optimum temperatures.”

  The machine certainly looked pretty impressive. Marvin took a couple of glasses and put them under the taps. While they were filling, he turned to Meena. �
�What would you like?” he asked.

  “I think I’ll just have a Supa-soda at the moment,” she said without enthusiasm. Marvin obliged, then handed me a glass of beer and raised his own in a wordless toast.

  “I think I’ll go see how Liv’s getting on,” said Meena. She disappeared and Marvin suggested that we sit down.

  “Meena’s looking gorgeous tonight,” said Marvin. I decided to say nothing. After a pause he added, “You know why she’s moody, don’t you?”

  “Actually, Marvin, I don’t think I do,” I said testily. “She’s been moody a lot recently and I don’t think I’ve done anything to deserve it.”

  “Don’t be such an ass. You’re not being fair to Meena. You two have been going out quite a while now. She’s looking for some sort of commitment from you but you seem happy just to drift along. Surely you can see she’s absolutely crazy about you?”

  “I’d really rather not discuss this at the moment,” I said. “Anyway, you agreed that you wouldn’t interfere anymore.”

  “Have it your own way.” Marvin shrugged and took another swig of his beer.

  The smartscreen indicated that there was someone at the door and Marvin went down to greet the first guests. Soon the room was half full of our friends and acquaintances, each with a glass, chattering in small groups. The state of excited expectation in which I’d arrived had now been banished and I was no longer in the mood for a party. Marvin’s renewed interference had infuriated me and I was not yet ready to forgive him.

  I was halfway through my second beer when the bedroom door opened and Liv and Meena emerged. Liv had changed into a sleeveless dress with a full skirt that came to just above the knee, displaying her shapely legs. She smiled radiantly as she moved amongst the guests welcoming them to the party. I expected Meena to come over and speak to me but instead she joined a group on the far side of the room and was soon in animated conversation with them. I decided that I shouldn’t remain aloof any longer but, as it seemed that Meena was going to ignore me, I would find somebody else to talk to. I spotted a couple of Marvin’s friends, Josh and Anwar, who I knew from our student days and went over to join them.