Stranger Than Fanfiction

by Chris Colfer

  “Of course not—you’re like my brother,” Mo said. “It was just a nice self-esteem boost from time to time. I’m gonna miss it.”

  The aspiring writer wasn’t being as helpful as she thought. Mo could tell her friends wished she would just stop talking.

  “What I’m trying to say is that this should only make us closer,” Mo said. “Everyone has secrets, and now that ours are all out on the table, it should only make our friendship stronger. So can we just go back to being friends again? Are we really going to let this put a dent in our friendships?”

  “Not all of us are processing it as easily as you, Mo,” Topher said. “Let’s just leave it alone for a bit.”

  Even though his eyes weren’t aimed at him, Sam knew his words were. Topher was taking the news even worse than he feared.

  “So what are we going to do when we get to Santa Monica?” Mo asked. “Are we going to avoid each other and do our own thing?”

  “I think that’s a good idea, actually,” Topher said. “It’ll give us some time to think. Besides, now that Wiz Kids is over, there’s really no point in continuing a friendship that’s not going to last.”

  It was upsetting, but Topher had a point. Staying connected in the years to come would be considerably more difficult without the show. Instead of gradually losing touch over time, maybe it was better just to nip it in the bud.

  At five o’clock on Saturday evening, the station wagon arrived in Santa Monica. They checked into the Sea Glass Inn, the cheapest hotel that was walking distance to the famous Santa Monica Pier. Topher read online that the Wiz Kids sets at Sunshine Studios had already been torn down to make room for NCIS: Boise, so there was no point in taking the studio tour—not that they would have even if the sets were still up. The Downers Grove troop spent their first two days in Southern California wandering through the Los Angeles area on their own. The only time they saw each other was at the hotel and it was only for a few minutes at night before bed and in the morning.

  On July 4, their third and final day in California, they still hadn’t regrouped or reconciled. Sam spent the evening on the Santa Monica Pier watching the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. He thought he knew loneliness before, but now that he and his friends weren’t speaking, Sam was learning the true definition of solitude. He prayed the journey back to Downers Grove would mend the group, but others weren’t as patient.

  “Hey.”

  Sam turned around and saw Topher standing on the pier behind him. He figured Topher must have been there for a while because he hadn’t heard any footsteps.

  “Hey,” he said.

  It was an awkward moment between the two. There was so much to say, but no easy way of saying it, so they just stared at each other.

  “Rough week, huh?” Topher said.

  “That’s an understatement,” Sam said. “You did say it would be a summer to remember.”

  “I did,” Topher said with a laugh. “So, what have you been up to? Have you seen anything cool?”

  “I’ve mostly just stayed in the area,” Sam said. “I went to the promenade, the aquarium, saw a movie—nothing too exciting. How about you?”

  “I’ve just been walking,” Topher said. “I walked to Venice, to the Pacific Palisades, to Brentwood, and to some place called Century City. I never planned to go anywhere, they’re just where I’ve wound up.”

  “Topher, there probably isn’t anything I can say to make you feel better, but I never meant to hurt—”

  “Sam, you have nothing to apologize for,” Topher said. “I just needed some time to myself—to think about things, you know?”

  Sam nodded. “I get it,” he said. “Just like MIT, I’m the second thing that isn’t going to work out the way you hoped.”

  “But why not?” Topher asked. “If we both want it, what’s stopping us?”

  The comment made Sam’s head spin.

  “You mean, this doesn’t complicate things for you?”

  “Sure, it complicates things, but is any relationship not complicated?” Topher asked.

  Sam was speechless. Of all the things he imagined the truth might bring, this was last on the list.

  “Sorry, I just don’t know what to say,” he said. “I thought for sure you were avoiding me the last couple days because you were upset—”

  “I wasn’t avoiding you because I was angry, I was avoiding you because I was confused. It was a surprise finding out you were trans, but an even bigger surprise when I realized I was okay with it. I’ve always been attracted to girls, but there’s only one person I can say I’ve loved in that way… and that’s you. The world isn’t black and white, and the people who think it is are the ones who always screw things up. I don’t want to be one of those people. I just want to be happy, and nothing makes me happier than you. So what do you say? Can we try being gray together?”

  “But what if it doesn’t work out?” Sam asked.

  “Then it doesn’t work out,” Topher said with a shrug. “Even if we end up as just friends, I can’t imagine anything worse than not having you in my life. So, I’ll always be here for you, for whatever you need, whenever you need it. It’s as simple as that.”

  Topher’s words brought tears to Sam’s eyes, but for the first time in as long as Sam could remember, they were tears of joy. Sam gave Topher the biggest hug physically possible.

  “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear someone say that,” he said.

  “Was that okay?” Topher asked. “I’ve been practicing that in my head all freaking day. I hope it didn’t come across as too cheesy or desperate because I really meant it.”

  “No, it was perfect.” He laughed. “And nothing would make me happier than being gray with you.”

  Topher and Sam were so wrapped up in their conversation they didn’t even notice Joey had snuck up beside them.

  “Seems like you guys are in good spirits,” he said. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

  “Nope, we were just regrouping,” Topher said. “Care to join in? I’m so bored of not speaking to each other.”

  “Absolutely,” Joey said. “I’ve missed you guys. This city is beautiful but it’s terrifying by yourself. Last night I went to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show and a transvestite drew Vs on my face and wrapped me in a boa.”

  “That’s a lot more excitement than either of us have had,” Sam said. “I say we find Mo and do something fun together—it is our last night on the West Coast. We should make the most of it.”

  “Does that mean we’re going to be okay?” Joey asked. “Are we going to stay friends after all?”

  Topher sighed. “Who the hell knows,” he said. “But I’m willing to put as much effort into keeping us together as I possibly can. When we first started this trip, I was afraid it was the beginning of the end for us, but after all the shit we’ve been through this week, I’d say this trip has just cemented our friendship. Let’s be honest, no one else is ever going to believe any of this happened to us. We need to stay friends for the stories alone!”

  “I couldn’t agree more.” Joey laughed. “You know, I was furious when Cash put our lives on blast like he did—but I’m glad I don’t have to lie to you guys anymore. I didn’t realize how much it was killing me to be dishonest.”

  “Me too,” Sam said. “It’s nice not having barriers between us anymore. It sounds like we’ve all got long roads ahead, but at least we won’t be walking them alone.”

  All three of their phones buzzed at the same exact time.

  “It’s Mo,” Sam said. “She sent us a group text.”

  “Come to my room, there’s been an emergency,” Joey read. “Oh shit!”

  The three left the pier at once and ran to the Sea Glass Inn as fast as their legs would carry them. Mo’s hotel room door was ajar when they arrived and they found her inside sitting on the windowsill. Her face was bright red and tears were streaming down it.

  “Oh my God,” Topher said. “Mo, are you okay?”


  “Do I look okay?” she cried.

  “What happened? What’s the emergency?” Sam asked.

  “Our friendship is the emergency!” Mo declared. “We’ve never gone this long without speaking and I can’t take it anymore! Our friendship is the only positive thing in my life! If we aren’t going to be friends anymore then I might as well jump out this window!”

  She dramatically opened the window behind her and an ocean breeze filled the room.

  “Mo, we’re on the first floor,” Joey said.

  “I’m using it figuratively!” Mo said. “Look, I know we were all going to use Wiz Kids to stay in touch, but let’s be real—the show’s sucked since season three! It might be the reason we became friends, but it’s not the reason we stayed friends. We were just using it as an excuse to spend time together and I’m not going to let our friendship end just because the show is! You guys are more than just friends to me—you’re my real family! Who cares if we’ll be separated for college—I want to spend the rest of my life with you guys! I want us to be together for vacations, and holidays, and Zac Efron’s birthday just like a real family!”

  “Aw, thanks, Mo,” Topher said.

  “Yeah, that’s really sweet,” Joey said.

  “We feel the same way about you,” Sam said.

  “Good—because my dad and my cat are assholes!” Mo said. “So we need to promise each other that no matter what, after graduation we’re all going to move to the same city and keep this going! Topher won’t have to take care of his brother anymore, Joey will be able to live openly away from his parents, Sam will probably have transitioned by then, and I’ll be the only girl when we go out and will get all the attention—everybody wins! But it starts right here, right now! We need to make up and be friends again because I never want to live for another day without you guys in my life!”

  Mo stopped to breathe for the first time since they arrived. None of her friends seemed overburdened by her requests. They shared a look and shrugged like it was perfectly reasonable.

  “Sounds good to me,” Topher said.

  “Me too,” Joey said.

  “Can’t wait,” Sam said.

  Mo was thrilled they were on board but their willingness was very confusing. It was so much easier than she had predicted.

  “Did something happen that I’m not aware of?” she asked. “Did you guys already make up without me? Because an hour ago none of us were even speaking and you just agreed to stay friends forever.”

  “Yup,” Topher said. “Just now on the pier, actually.”

  “We happened to be in the same place at the same time,” Joey said.

  “Yeah, we didn’t exclude you or anything,” Sam said.

  Mo nodded approvingly and wiped away her tears. She had prepared an additional half-hour-long speech about why they needed to save their friendship, but she clearly didn’t even need it.

  “Well… great,” she said. “I wish someone had mentioned that when I threatened to jump out a window, but I’m glad we’re all back together again! Now come help me off this ledge and give me a hug!”

  Her friends happily obeyed. Just as they concluded their obnoxious group hug, a series of explosions came from outside the window and took them completely by surprise.

  “What’s that?” Topher asked. “This is a good neighborhood, right?”

  “It’s the Fourth of July, dummy!” Sam reminded him. “They must be launching fireworks over the pier! Come on, let’s go watch them together!”

  The reunited friends joined a massive crowd on the Santa Monica Pier to watch the colorful show together. They had a lot more to celebrate than just their country’s independence. Their new devotion to one another suddenly made the future seem brighter than it had ever been. No matter what life threw their way, they knew they’d have one another to help them through it.

  Halfway through the fireworks Topher felt another buzz in his pocket. He looked down at his phone and saw a new notification from CashCarter.com:

  Wanted you to know I’m in Phoenix getting help. Hoping you guys can stop by on your way back. Said some things I really regret. 778 S. Grant Street. —CC

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  PROMISES

  On Wednesday, July 5, the Downers Grove gang awoke early to begin their two-thousand-mile journey back home. After a very long and tiresome discussion, Topher persuaded his friends to add an extra hundred miles to their return route so they could visit Cash Carter in Phoenix, Arizona.

  Seven hours later, the station wagon arrived in Phoenix and pulled into the parking lot of the Sunny Skies Care Center located at 778 S. Grant Street. Topher got out of the car and walked a few yards toward the care center when he realized he was alone.

  “Are you guys coming?” Topher asked.

  “We agreed to come to Phoenix, but we never said any of us were going to see him,” Mo said.

  “He wants to apologize,” Topher said.

  “Then he can send us a letter,” Sam said. “I don’t want to see him.”

  “But he broke down the barriers between us, remember?” Topher said.

  “He still betrayed us,” Joey said. “If you want to feel like a Good Samaritan, that’s great, but none of us feel inclined to do him any favors.”

  Topher didn’t argue any further. The only reason Topher was compelled to see the actor was because he, too, had said some things he regretted. Getting a chance to apologize would be a relief for them both.

  “All right, all right,” he said. “Here, take my keys and keep the engine running so you don’t overheat. I’ll try to make this quick.”

  Topher left his friends in the car and walked up a stone path to the Sunny Skies Care Center. The lobby was very clean and decorated in light, relaxing colors. Topher spoke to a nurse at the front desk.

  “Hi, I’m here to see Cash Carter,” Topher said.

  The nurse typed a few words into her computer but nothing came up.

  “I’m sorry, there are no patients here by that name,” she said.

  “My mistake, he’s probably under Thomas Hanks,” he said.

  “Oh yes, he’s in room 828,” the nurse said. “I’ll buzz you in.”

  She hit a button on the counter and a large glass door gradually opened behind her. Topher’s eyes wandered around the lobby as he waited for the door. He noticed a large family sitting together in the corner with a priest. They were all crying about something and the priest seemed to be counseling them. On the other side of the lobby was another family who sat with a very old man in a wheelchair. They tried to talk with him, but the old man just stared off silently like he was stricken with Alzheimer’s.

  “Excuse me?” Topher asked the nurse. “What kind of rehab is this?”

  “This isn’t a rehab, it’s a hospice facility,” she said. “Now, you’re going to go through this door and make a left at the end of the hall and the room will be on your right-hand side.”

  “Thanks,” he said.

  As Topher followed her directions, he wondered if his friends had been right to wait in the car. What on earth was Cash doing at a hospice center? Was he visiting a sick friend or fan? If so, why would Cash have tricked them into coming? Why did he lie and say he was getting help?

  Topher stepped inside room 828 but there was no sign of Cash anywhere. A very thin and frail young man was asleep in the bed but he wasn’t anyone Topher recognized. He had dark circles under his eyes and was hooked up to several machines and an IV drip. Whoever he was, he didn’t appear to have much time left. Topher quietly paced around the room as he waited for Cash to appear. He was there for twenty minutes and the actor still hadn’t shown up.

  “You came.”

  Topher looked to the bed and saw the patient was awake. He was staring at Topher with a weak smile and his eyes were opened just barely enough to see. He clearly knew who Topher was, but Topher couldn’t place him.

  “I wasn’t sure you got my message,” the young man said softly. “I’m so glad to see you
.”

  It suddenly dawned on Topher who the patient was—he was in such bad shape Topher hadn’t recognized him.

  “Cash?” he asked. “What the hell happened to you?”

  “I took a turn for the worse last Saturday,” the actor said. “The hikers drove me to Flagstaff the night I left you. I was looking for a pharmacy when I blacked out and woke up in some hospital. I was transferred here on Monday. It was the only hospice facility nearby that had room for me.”

  “But why?” Topher asked. “Are you sick?”

  “I have glioblastoma,” Cash said. “That’s a fancy stage name for brain cancer.”

  Topher felt like the room was spinning and he slid into a chair at the foot of the bed. He was so dizzy he held on to the seat with all his might as if he was on a roller coaster with no seat belt.

  “Brain cancer?” he said in shock.

  “Sorry to spring the news on you like this,” Cash said. “Shit just got real human, huh?”

  “Are you just finding out about it?”

  The sick actor looked away guiltily and slowly shook his head.

  “In April I started getting these really bad migraines,” Cash explained. “A doctor came to the set and recommended I get a scan. We were behind in production so the producers wouldn’t give me time off to get it done. In May, after we wrapped season nine, I finally went in for an MRI. They found a tumor the size of a grape on my brain stem.”

  “And… and… and did you start treatment for it?”

  “My options were limited,” he said. “Surgery was risky and could have potentially damaged my verbal skills—and you know how much I like to talk, so that wasn’t going to work for me. Other treatments might have left me paralyzed or impaired my memory and that didn’t sound like any fun. The neurologist said I had a good three months left if I did nothing, so I decided to make those count instead.”

  “Hold on,” Topher said, and waited a moment to ask him the question he didn’t want the answer to. “Cash, are you saying that you’re… you’re… dying?”

  The actor took a deep breath before confirming it.