She continued on, unaware of the rapid-fire thoughts in my head. “Probably more than you, considering you ditched his ass at just the hint of something going wrong.” She gave me a scornful look I probably deserved. “Something I’m beginning to see is a bit of a pattern with you.”
There was a pause as she let the words settle in. So she knew about that. I’d be lying if I said her words didn’t hurt, and I felt my cheeks flush with the memory of so many years gone. Had this girl inadvertently taken my place?
I shivered with the thought. How close had I come to losing Thomas forever? This brilliant girl came into his life, became his friend all while I was away and wouldn’t even look at an email from him. Of course he’d turn to somebody else.
“But I’m not in love with him,” she finished.
Whether it was luck, fate or something else entirely, I hadn’t lost Thomas. But twice - no, three times now - I had practically thrown it all away because I hadn’t bothered to trust him fully.
I felt terrible, and I was so emotional already I couldn’t stop the tears that gathered up in the corners of my vision and made the girl in front of me a smudge of color.
“I know that’s not enough, and I hope you’re feeling pretty shitty about it now, but I’m not done.” There was no remorse in her voice. No pity, just an iron will to do what she came here to do. “The reason I was there was because Thomas found me while he was jogging.”
“Found you?” I managed to choke out.
“I’d been sleeping in the park ever since I got evicted from my place. In the meantime, I got a job at the hotel and was able to get a room at a decent rate there, but that ended recently. That’s why I went to Thomas looking for a job. I always wanted to work with him but the shop never did well enough. I knew he’d give me a job but that’d feel like I was taking advantage. And the last thing I wanted was a handout.”
Piece by piece the holes were beginning to fill in.
I could see it now, Thomas going for his evening run, maybe he was worried about me and since I hadn’t answered when he’d texted he went for a run to clear his head.
He didn’t usually take me into the forest trails, not at night. Which was the only place I’d imagine you could camp and not be immediately seen. Most of the places we ran were wide open and well lit.
I felt a sour taste in the back of my throat. I had caused this. If Thomas had been able to get a hold of me, if I hadn’t spent all day with my mom ignoring him, if he hadn’t been worried and upset and alone, he wouldn’t have been in that place at that time. He wouldn’t have seen Sam there.
“I’d been camping there a few days since, and when Thomas found me he was…pretty pissed.”
I had a hard time believing that. Thomas didn’t get mad.
Sam saw my doubt and gave a bitter laugh. “He might not get mad at you, but he does at me. Dude’s got a protective streak in him that runs deep. And as if I’m tailor-made to piss him off, I’ve got an equally strong self-destructive streak in me. We make a pretty shitty pair. But I’m getting off track…”
We stayed there in the hallway talking for the next hour or two. Sam told me everything, about how he’d forced her to come home with him. Had threatened to haul her there bodily himself if she didn’t agree.
She cried remembering how she’d broken down after the first warm shower in nearly a week. How good it felt to be loved, cared for, and looked after. A lot of her traits I recognized in my mom. Self-destructive, self-hating, believing herself incapable of giving or deserving love.
It tugged at my heartstrings so perfectly I would have been suspicious if she didn’t obviously hate having to tell me, to tell anybody this.
I came undone myself when she told me how depressed Thomas had gotten. How he felt it was all his fault. That he couldn’t even see how I had been the one who was wrong, or that Sam had somehow messed things up.
He took all the blame onto his wide, strong shoulders. Just like he always did.
I wanted to get up right then and call him, to rush into his arms, but I knew from my own therapy sessions that in some small way Sam needed to do this. She needed to get it all out, and I couldn’t help but like her. Excessive cursing and all.
“…and that’s when I realized I had to find you.”
It was a lot to take in.
I took one shaky breath after the other, looked at Sam and said, “I’m hungry, do you want to get something to eat?”
She didn’t say anything, just looked at me with a curious expression and nodded her head. “I don’t have much money…obviously.”
I waved away the words as if I could make them go away with a flap of my hand. “My treat, considering you did something I only hope I could do one day for somebody that I love. It’s rather amazing how you managed to track me down.”
Sam perked up a little at the praise and when I got up and offered her my hand, she took it without hesitation. I wished we’d met in better circumstances, and with fewer tears, but I was beginning to see what Thomas saw in her.
I wouldn’t mind having another sister. It seemed like today my family just kept on growing and growing. I didn’t know if I could face Thomas knowing what I did now.
He deserved better than me. On that count, Sam and I were on the same page. I didn’t know how to make it up to him. I went back into my mom’s room, gave her a brief explanation that I’d call her later and that I was going back home.
She didn’t pester me for details, and I grabbed my things and was back out the door in a couple of minutes.
During the elevator ride, the enormity of the situation crashed down on me. While Sam got off at the lobby I stayed in the car unable to make my arms or legs move.
She looked back at me, and without a word grabbed my wrist and tugged me like a wayward child off the elevator and through the lobby into the cool, foggy valley morning.
“I don’t know if I can face him,” I admitted to her as she led me by the hand to the parking lot around the side. “After everything I’ve done, he should be furious with me for not trusting him. I let him down…again.”
She jerked me to a halt and rounded on me. There was a fire in her eyes and she practically spat the words. “You don’t get to choose how he feels. None of us get to choose how somebody else feels. The only thing we get to choose is what we do with the love that is given to us.”
The words felt oddly familiar, warm and comforting like a favorite childhood blanket.
Sam continued, “So you’re going to go to him, tell him you love him and that you’re sorry and you’re not going to fucking break his heart again, understood?”
All I could do was nod dumbly as she pulled me up to a strangely familiar rusted station wagon. When she pulled me up to the passenger side and the piles of trash up to the window I knew whose car this was.
“Did you steal this car?” I asked, both amazed and aghast. Who was this girl?
“Oh.” She colored a little but otherwise didn’t show any hint of remorse. “I was just borrowing it.” She held up the familiar keychain of half-melted plastic with the single key attached. “It was unlocked and still in the ignition. I didn’t even need to hotwire it.”
Oh, Jemma. This wasn’t the time to get into it.
“My truck’s over here,” I said pointing. “Follow me and we’ll grab a bite to eat on the way back.”
Sam hopped into my sister’s car and I shook my head at the ridiculousness of it. She’d left out the part where she’d stolen a car to find me. She must really care for Thomas if she was willing to go to such lengths just to get us back together.
Of course, I thought with a blush heating my cheeks, Thomas did that all on his own. It was a marvelous display of affection that I was still floored by. I got into my rental and backed out of the spot. Sam was already waiting for me.
I drove off down the small side road I’d come in and turned off towards the diner that Mom had taken us to for breakfast and dinner when all this started.
&nbs
p; So much had changed in such a little period of time.
The urge to call Thomas, to let him know that I loved him was overwhelming. So, I turned down my music. “Call, Thomas.”
The phone rang four or five times before finally getting picked up. “Oh yeah,” came Sam’s voice. “I forgot to mention, I stole his phone so I could see if you were staying at any of his friend’s places.”
“Oh, Sam…” She was so sweet, but also a little scary now that I thought about it. “All right, I guess it’ll have to wait.”
I hung up and turned the music back up.
We’d grab a quick breakfast at the diner and then go back into town. I’d make sure that she returned the car to Jemma - who was probably still asleep considering she left so late last night - and then I’d have to face Thomas. Again.
I prayed for the strength to do it. As much as I loved him I wanted so very badly to just run away and hide forever. I don’t know if I ever could forgive myself. The situation was odd, there was no denying that and I don’t think I could be entirely blamed for everything that went wrong.
But I had jumped to the worst conclusion, again. It was just as Sam said. It was a disturbing trend that at its core was my lack of complete trust in the man I professed to love with every fiber of my being.
If I trusted Thomas, wouldn’t I have waited for him to explain himself?
It all came back to trust.
I had to trust him if our relationship had any chance of working. I vowed from then on I would love and trust him with everything I had. It was the easiest decision I ever had to make in my life, and with the whole town at our back, I felt we could do anything.
23
Thomas
“Looks like you got some good use out of that new bike,” said Jeff. He shifted on the bench we were sitting on outside the animal shelter. “You sure you don’t want to borrow my car?”
I shook my head and tried to catch my breath. I was fit, but biking miles and miles as fast as I could all over town was tiring work. Jeff was right, without that bike I still would have tried it, but the effect probably wouldn’t have been quite as strong.
I could only hope that I was able to get through to Claire.
My greatest fear was that I’d somehow made it worse, but I had to believe that she would be forced to see the truth if she knew half the town knew what happened and called her. If they urged her to reconsider.
The reaction was more than I ever could have hoped for. I felt like the whole town was rallying behind me. It made for a euphoric feeling of togetherness and community that Sunrise Valley had been sorely lacking.
We had been a small town in name only, at least that’s what I thought until I saw the outpouring of support from people I’d only talked to a few times.
They listened to my story, and I let them make their minds up whether they thought I deserved the help. It was up to them to decide whether I was a cheater and a liar, or if it’d been a misunderstanding.
I left them with Claire’s phone and biked over to the next house, oftentimes they called other people to share the news and gave me directions to different houses of people I only knew by face but not name.
The animal shelter had been the last stop. Sally hadn’t been in when I got there but Jeff had given her a call and let me talk to her. It wasn’t as good as in-person but it was better than nothing.
Like a ripple in a still pond, every person I talked to reached out to their own network to spread the news. I don’t know how many phone calls Claire would end up getting but I felt like it would be a lot more than the half dozen or so I had initially planned.
“You really love this girl, don’t you?” asked Jeff.
“More than anything in the world.” I gave him a wry grin. “Almost as much as you love Sally.”
Jeff colored and stammered trying to deny it but I just raised my hand. “I’m not getting into it, that’s between you two. I’m too tired besides.” I raised the bottle of water he’d gotten me. “Thanks for this, and for…” I gestured vaguely.
“Anytime man, you never ask for help. I figured somebody must have died or you did something really bad to feel desperate enough to reach out.” He hit me playfully on the shoulder. “You have more friends than I think you know. There’s no harm in relying on them every now and then. It makes us ordinary people feel useful.”
I scoffed at him. “Ordinary my ass. You save baby animals, how is that ordinary?”
“Ah, you see I run the shelter that saves them. I don’t do the actual saving.”
“Semantics.”
Jeff’s phone buzzed and he answered. “Yeah? Oh okay, good. Where did you find them? Okay, leave them alone for now and I’ll handle it.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, somebody found some baby rabbits without their mother. She thinks they might be endangered.” He shrugged. “Misses Clemens usually does, but it’s always worth checking out.” He levered himself up from the bench and reached out a hand to me.
I stood and took his hand, shaking it. “Thanks, man. I appreciate the help. Go do your thing, I need to get a bite to eat and reopen the bakery.”
“Hey, if you really want to thank me, I wouldn’t say to no to some elephant ears and maybe a few cannolis.”
I tried not to smile too widely at that. It felt good knowing that Sally had given him the cannolis. I wasn’t sure if she would.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” I didn’t usually serve fried food but with all the new guests I was thinking of trying my take on some fun favorites like funnel cake.
The bike ride home was rather relaxing. I’d done all I could do. It didn’t take me long to guess Sam was up to something. Since I couldn’t stop her, I decided I’d just let it play out. Not like I had any other choice where Sam was considered.
She’d come back in her own time. Though I wish she hadn’t taken my phone. In the end, I couldn’t be too mad about it.
It was the lack of a phone that gave me the idea to bike over to each of the houses on the loyalty member’s list for the bakery. I’d collected the information mostly to deter people from saying they lived here when they didn’t.
It had been more helpful than I ever thought possible.
There was a line that wrapped around the building. A few people saw me on my bike, a couple of photos were snapped on phones and more than one person pointed at me. A ripple of murmurs ran up and down the line of people.
At least nobody would be wondering if I was coming in today.
I hurried to unlock the back door and let myself in. Thankfully I had a rather full supply of pastries and bread ready to go. So when I opened the door to let the first guest in I was ready to go.
I snacked on various pastries throughout the day. Not the healthiest option but there hadn’t been much time to make anything better.
The hours flew by and before I knew it I was back to my old habit of rushing back and forth between the front and the back, trying to bake and serve customers at practically the same time. Whenever there was a lull, I would rush to the back to knead and prepare more food.
Won’t need to go for a run tonight, I thought to myself. I’ve got all my exercise for the day covered already, and then some.
Right around the time I closed down for some much-needed lunch, there was a knock at the shop’s door. I put down my roast beef sandwich and dragged myself to the front.
I should have looked to see who it was. Had I done that, I wouldn’t have bothered to open the door.
The glass door swung open and Beth stood there with her hands on her hips. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?” she asked.
I don’t know how I could have ever considered trying to cozy up to her in the first place. I could never stand to be around her knowing what she did to us. How she’d treated Claire when she’d been nothing but kind to her.
Maybe it was the feeling of having the town behind me, or maybe I was just drained and didn’t feel like putting on a polite face anymore
. I grit my teeth and leaned in to loom over her.
“You’re not welcome here.”
The words made her back up one step at a time until she was well out of the doorway. “I am not the bad guy here, Thomas.” She arranged her black dress coat on her shoulders. “It would be a serious mistake to make me your enemy. I own most of this street, Thomas. Soon I’ll own most of the town. You need me.”
I tried to keep my expression flat and angry but my interest was piqued. This was the first time that she said she owned the businesses, not that she was buying them up for somebody else.
Was that just a slip-up, or did she mistakenly hand me a nugget of truth she’d been hiding from everybody else?
Beth’s family, the Ingvars, were disgustingly rich. They were one of the founding families and as I had come to understand, leveraged that into massive profits.
But for all their wealth, they didn’t donate to any causes. Didn’t help out the town they had been part of founding. They were, for all intents and purposes, doing nothing with all that power and wealth.
Except for their youngest daughter, Beth. Who seemed to be putting that wealth to some use by buying up most of the shops on Main Street and leaving them to rot.
I suppose it made some sense that it was her behind it all. What business would hire her, a local real estate agent, to purchase a bunch of small-town business properties well above market value?
“I’ve got all I need, already.” I meant every word of it.
She turned on her high heels and marched off swinging her handbag like she’d hit the next person over the head with it. I watched her for a moment before shutting the door. Not two seconds later did two cars pull up on the side of the road outside the bakery.
Wait…is that?
Claire’s Suburban and her sister’s rusted station wagon were instantly recognizable. On the other side of the street, I noticed Beth had paused getting into her black Mercedes. She recognized the Suburban too.
I came out into the doorway, worried and more than a little scared of what was going to happen. But I forced myself forward, ready to take responsibility for my own actions.
Baking Up Love Page 18
