If Claire was mad, I’d understand.
It was a risk I had been willing to take. She deserved to know the truth, even if she wouldn’t listen to it from me. I loved her. There was nothing that could change that. I stood there on the windy sidewalk, thinking I was ready for Claire.
I wasn’t.
My knees went weak when I saw her hop out of the truck. She was a vision of beauty. Dark curls bounced as she got out of the car and noticed me there for the first time. It was like meeting for the first time all over again.
My heart stammered in my chest. She was gorgeous. How had I forgotten how breathtaking she was after only a couple of days?
I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and tell her how sorry I was for hurting her. I didn’t know if she’d be mad or not for annoying her with all those calls but seeing her again after only a couple days apart made me feel it was worth it.
I was too afraid to make the first move. We both stared at each other. I drank in every inch of her, unable to help myself.
She wore a pair of tight jeans that showed off her hips, with a white sleeveless shirt beneath a pale pink cable knit cardigan that flapped and rustled in the breeze. She was fully ready for fall, her green eyes were like shining jewels.
I had to do a double-take when Sam, not Jemma, jumped out of the rusty station wagon and walked up to Claire’s side. She took one look between us, muttered something I was sure was an obscenity and nudged Claire with her elbow towards me.
That was all the motivation she needed.
Claire stumbled forward, caught herself, and kept going. Her stumble turned into a jog then a full out sprint. I backed up on one leg, partly afraid she was going to bowl me over.
Instead, she leaped and reached out for me. I took her into my arms, turning on my back leg and transforming the force of the impact into a spinning motion. I held her up in my arms, crushed her tightly to my chest and set her back down on the ground.
It was like one of the hugs I used to give her back in high school. I felt as idiotically euphoric as a teenager.
We were both breathless.
Her hands rested on my cheeks and she pulled my gaze towards hers. I could stare forever into those brilliant green pools of hers.
“Thomas Weller, I have been an absolute idiot.” And then she pulled my face down to her level and she kissed me, long and deep in front of anybody on the street to see. I heard a car door slam and guessed Beth had seen it too.
Good.
Whatever I had planned to say evaporated like the morning mist. If Claire wanted my forgiveness, she had it. She would always have it. I wanted nothing more than to stay in that moment forever.
24
Claire
I wasn’t prepared for how I’d feel seeing Thomas again. I don’t think I ever could be.
I thought I could be calm and collected. In control like I usually was. But the moment I saw him standing there, looking so unsure and helpless it was over for me.
It was why I had to get away from him in the first place. Thomas had that effect on me. I was at his mercy whenever he turned those dark pools of coffee my way.
If he hooked those lips into that lopsided grin I adored so much, I’d melt and he’d have to scoop me off the floor.
So, I left because I knew I couldn’t think straight if he was near me. I wished I never left.
What I hadn’t realized is that I didn’t want to think straight. I didn’t want to be without him. Being together with Thomas made me a different person. A better person.
I stupidly thought it was something to be afraid of. But I was wrong. It was something to embrace.
When we were together we affected each other the same way. I could see it in his eyes, his posture, the way he talked. It was entirely different than when I watched him handling business on the phone or talking to a guest. We changed each other. And it took until just now to realize that it was for the better.
I didn’t want to be the person I was before, neurotic and afraid of change, always having to plan every little thing out in spreadsheets and charts to weigh the odds. I wanted to jump feet first into a crazy situation and see where things led. I never wanted to leave Thomas again.
When I kissed him, every nerve came alive with a quivering need for more.
A voice in the back of my mind casually reminded me that this was the longest I’d ever gone without him inside me. Without making love or being intimate. It brought a crimson blush to my cheeks that had nothing to do with the autumn chill in the air.
I ran away from him for all the wrong reasons.
I hadn’t trusted him, or the way I was around him. What I didn’t understand until that moment was that I was different because I was whole. Incomplete Claire was always questioning and doubting other people’s motives.
But the woman I became when I was with Thomas had faith. She trusted things would turn out okay even if every meticulous detail wasn’t planned five weeks in advance.
I wanted to be that woman.
That Claire would never have thought to stay in Sunrise Valley. She would have gone back to New York, to the safety of her cushy job and the sterility of her loveless life. It was easier that way. Clean and neat.
But life is messy, and all the ugly emotions that came with it only made life that much more glorious. I vowed from that day on that I wouldn’t push anybody away again. If Thomas could take me back after everything I did to him, after all the messiness that had transpired, then I could learn to trust people around me.
I would never, ever, mistrust Thomas again.
Sam started to fake gag behind us and we broke apart to look at her. She had endeared herself to me in a surprisingly short span of time. I was happy that Thomas had somebody like her in his corner.
If I was being totally truthful, I wanted her in my corner as well. She was the sort of friend that fought for you even when you couldn’t fight for yourself, perhaps especially then.
It was hard not to love Sam.
“Just fuck already, jeez,” she said loudly.
I could feel the heat of another blush rising in my cheeks and a quick look at Thomas confirmed that his ears were adorably red. I hadn’t realized how much I missed all his little quirks. The things that made him, him.
“We will,” I said with bravado I didn’t feel. Thomas hadn’t rejected me but I didn’t want to push things too fast.
That seemed to shock Sam, for once she was at a loss for words and it cracked both me and Thomas up. We laughed all the way inside the bakery.
I swore for a brief moment I saw Beth’s black Mercedes out of the corner of my eye but it was gone in an instant turning down a side street. I wondered what that was about and then quickly dismissed it from my thoughts. I wasn’t going to let her ruin a good moment like this.
She’d been suspiciously absent the last couple of weeks, and I realized just how good those weeks had been without the slightest hint of her sour attitude.
If only I could find some way to cut her completely out of our lives but things never were quite as clean as that. And If I had to have Beth in my daily life as payment for Thomas, Sam, and all the other sweet people who had called me to tell me how much Thomas loved me, how he hadn’t cheated on me, it was a price I was more than willing to pay.
Thomas locked the door behind us and took us into the kitchen through the swinging door. He took out two stools and set them against the end of the stainless steel island where I first sat down watching him bake. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
I gently touched the cold metal, remembering how we’d made love here the first time. When I had first realized how badly I wanted him. How much I needed him.
Why was it that I only seemed to understand my own desires for him only after I’d been away from him?
Thomas took my hand and squeezed it. He followed my gaze to the metal and I watched the knowing grin blossom on his face. God, I missed him. If Sam wasn’t here I’d be jumping on him, tearing off h
is clothes with reckless abandon. But I could wait.
After all, we had plenty of time.
“Somebody, mind filling me in?” asked Thomas. His voice was huskier than normal. It reminded me of that dark night so long ago. He cleared it once and I let a small teasing smile curl my lips.
Sam gave me a questioning look and I nodded. The day had been emotionally draining from start to finish and it wasn’t even past lunchtime yet. If Sam wanted to take the lead explaining things, I was more than grateful for the break.
I had honestly thought she’d hate me after everything that happened but over breakfast she had been positively sweet. She cursed like a sailor but I took that as part of her charms. There was a definite tomboy streak in her and her refreshing attitude towards things was in stark contrast to my own.
She reminded me of Jemma in some ways, except dialed up to eleven.
After giving Thomas back his phone, Sam explained how she found me. I already heard this all before, so I excused myself to go grab some snacks from the racks where Thomas kept anything not out in a display case.
I brought back three plates and split up the pastries among us, chocolate éclairs, red velvet cream cheese muffins, heavenly palmiers, and a decadent cheesecake slice from the fridge.
When I sat down again, Thomas put one arm around me, curling his fingers into my hip. Goosebumps chased up and down my arms at his touch.
It only took her about an hour to run through everything again. This time she included stealing Jemma’s car after a pointed glance from me. Not that I minded, which surprised me because I was very protective where Jemma was concerned.
That had been one of the major issues with our relationship as sisters. I treated her like something to protect, like a child and not my sister. It felt good knowing that I could let go of that part of myself. Besides, aside from the three of us nobody even knew that her car had been stolen.
In all likelihood, she would have no idea anything happened. I doubted she’d even notice that we filled up the gas on the way back.
I needed to have a talk with her later about locking it and not leaving the keys in the ignition. It didn’t matter we lived in a small town, that was just common sense.
I laced my fingers with Thomas’ free hand and set it on my thigh. Every so often he’d squeeze it reassuringly.
Plates cleaned and the story finished, we went back up to the apartment. Home. It felt weird at first having Sam walk with me up the steps while Thomas stayed behind to open up the bakery again.
She gave a bashful smile. “Is this awkward?” she asked once we were inside.
I did my best to smile reassuringly at her. “No. I’d be happy if you would stay with us. It feels like my family keeps growing. It’s something I always wanted.”
“A super-hot stranger living in your home?” she asked.
“No, a large family.”
For a moment I swore her eyes misted but she turned away in a hurry without saying a word. I did a slow turn in the living room, taking in everything about this wonderful place I had come to call home.
I missed Thomas but I knew he needed to work. The bakery was doing well and I had some decisions to finally make.
Sam came out from the bathroom, her hair tied up in a loose bun. “I’ll see you tonight, roomie.”
“That’s going to take some time to get used to.”
“You’re telling me.”
The door clicked shut behind her and I was alone again but now everything felt different. I had this powerful wave of nostalgia for every little thing. The well-worn wooden chairs at the dining table. The french press that Thomas used every morning, the silver and blue bike propped up against the wall in the foyer.
I sat down on our bed and fell onto my back. Thomas’ masculine scent surrounded me and it felt like home more than any place I’d ever lived. I let myself fall into that moment.
So much had changed in such a short time. I felt a deeper connection to Sunrise Valley than I ever had before. I wouldn’t even mind that Thomas and I would need to keep our fun activities in the bedroom. It was a good thing we had our own private bathroom.
Still, I couldn’t say I’d mind having Sam live with us. Though I don’t think she felt too comfortable about the situation and having her sleep on the couch didn’t feel right.
I could talk to Jemma, introduce the two and see if maybe Sam would feel more comfortable living with my sister. Hard to tell whether they’d get on well or hate each other. But that was a problem for another day.
The sun had made steady progress towards the mountainous horizon to the west by the time I forced myself to get up and get to work. I was putting it off, avoiding a difficult thing because it went against every decision I ever made except the one to be with Thomas.
That had been made purely from the heart, and look how good that turned out. I wanted to stay here. I didn’t want to go back to New York or back to my old job. Sunrise Valley was my home now. It always had been in a way, I hadn’t known it.
No weighing the pros and cons. I wouldn’t set up three safety nets before I made the leap. This was a decision of the heart. I wanted this and all I had to do was reach out and take it.
I took a steadying breath. I could do this. With trembling fingers, I reached into my purse, pulled out my phone and called my boss.
Epilogue
Claire
In the weeks that followed, I settled back into the daily routine of life in Sunrise Valley. Because I plan ahead, the rental car was only now something I needed to worry about. I had booked it for an extended duration, just in case I needed it.
And I was glad I had. There had been too much craziness happening for me to also worry about my car rental.
Thomas had made a good point, at the rate I was renting the car and how long I’d had it, I could have started a lease. But I wasn’t going to lease, I preferred the assurance of owning.
Thomas would need a car too if he was going to keep up the blistering expansion of A Game of Scones.
Mom was back in my life again. She had found a small place on the outskirts of town to rent. It was slow going at first but eventually, we came to an understanding.
I couldn’t help but love her, even though she’d caused me so much pain. She had turned her life around, and if anybody was going to understand the need for a second chance it was me. If Thomas wouldn’t turn me away after running from him at every turn, how could I do that to my own mom?
Jemma and Sam got on like a house fire. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or scared about that. Thomas made family dinners into a weekly thing every Friday and invited everybody over.
The first night we did that Sam cried. I was glad she was letting her guard down around us. I had come to accept her as a second sister, even told her as much one night after a little too much wine.
Thomas found us crying and laughing like sorority sisters.
Not everything was perfect, though. Beth had come back from wherever it is she had gone and I ran into her constantly around town.
In fact, most of the time I was glad for it. Sam and Jemma were usually with me if Thomas was busy and for some reason Beth’s group of friends were suspiciously absent.
That didn’t stop her from being a royal bitch, and more than once I had to make Sam promise she wasn’t going to beat her up.
True to her word, Sam didn’t get into a fight with Beth. It would have been horribly one-sided anyway. But Beth’s tires did get suspiciously slashed.
I probably should have been more specific.
Now that Sam had taken up running with me and Thomas, she was addicted to exercise. She had been a little skinny in my opinion, but now she had started to pack on lean muscles and even I had to admit she looked hot.
It pumped her already jumbo-sized ego into something truly monstrous.
We still had our little squabbles, but I learned to live with them and weather them like a storm. They weren’t anything major, and in the end, one of us always apologiz
ed.
It was just one of those things that happened when you were part of a big family. If I was mad at Thomas, I knew I could vent to Sam, Jemma, or Mom. There was always somebody to lean on, no matter what happened. I couldn’t believe how long I’d gone thinking I was better off without a family.
I started getting involved in the community more. That feeling of a large family extended to Sunrise Valley and I made it my mission to turn this town into something truly inspiring.
Thomas was talking with people about forming a formal running group that met once or twice a week and took to the harder forest trails. He was even working on setting up a 5k through some of the pristine nature vistas of Sunrise Valley and setting up sponsorship and donations for the run.
I quit my job and despite the promises of higher profile clients and a big pay bump I turned down the offer. The result wasn’t very pretty, every insecurity I ever thought about myself in my role as a consultant was hurled back at me. I was called more names than I could remember and told I would be blacklisted from any other agency.
I hit a bit of a low point after that. Thomas was furious. Sam threatened to go down to the office I worked at with a rubber hose and beat every single one of my bosses into a coma. My newfound family was there for me at every turn and they helped me through the ordeal.
It only served to strengthen my belief that Sunrise Valley had been my home all along. The toxicity and stress of New York wasn’t for me, not anymore, and the way my bosses had reacted to me leaving proved that point.
My contacts, having heard of my departure were strangely more willing to work with me now that I had separated from my agency and was myself, a free agent. Despite the threats from my bosses, not a single contact turned their back on me. It was surreal, and put some perspective on how terrible my workplace was if people were more amenable to working with me now that I wasn’t tied to that place.
Whether they wanted to scoop me up for themselves, or because they thought I was opening my own agency - something a great many consultants end up doing when they see how much the bosses are making off their work - every one of them was able to answer my calls that same day.
Baking Up Love Page 19
