Always

by Sophie Lark

  She found a padded bench with a good view of the doors, settling down to wait. She knew she would see James at once if he arrived, because he was about a foot taller than the average person coming in and out the double doors.

  She hadn’t gotten much sleep on the plane. During her mad dash through the city, she’d been fueled by excitement, anxiety, and the thrill of the chase. Now that she had finally found the place, exhaustion hit her full force.

  The stream of visitors entering and exiting the doors was almost hypnotic. She was waiting, watching, still holding that irrational, improbable hope that any moment James would appear.

  And then, without realizing it, she fell asleep.

  24

  Anika felt warm, strong hands touching her face, stroking her hair back from her cheek. She opened her eyes to look into a pair of dark blue eyes in a lean, tanned face—eyes in which she could read almost any emotion, eyes she would have recognized anywhere, even halfway across the world.

  The amount that she had longed to see this face, to have it as close to her as it was now, made her feel that she was in a dream. She couldn’t believe it was real, but she absolutely didn’t want the moment to end. So she held perfectly still, willing herself with every particle of her being not to wake up.

  “Anika,” James said. “What happened? Is everything alright?”

  “James!” she said, coming fully awake at last. “You’re here!”

  “Of course I’m here,” he said, smiling at her. “The question is, what are you doing here?”

  He turned serious again, sinking down beside her on the bench. “Has something happened?”

  “No,” she assured him. “Nothing’s happened. Well, things have happened, but nothing’s wrong.”

  She saw he was wearing a suit and tie, that he had set a leather briefcase down beside him.

  “I can’t believe you’re here,” he said in wonder, “I came into the lobby, I was headed up to my room, and I saw this angel sleeping on the couch. I thought I’d gone completely crazy.”

  “Didn’t you get my messages?” she asked.

  “No!” he cried, pulling out his phone to check.

  She could see that he had a dozen missed calls and twenty unread messages, not just from her, but from multiple people, Liam included.

  “I had a meeting,” he said. “It was extremely important. I went straight from the airport to their office, and I’ve been there since. I turned my phone off because it’s considered very rude here if it even buzzes in your pocket. You’re supposed to give people your full attention, which isn’t a bad thing, I guess. But when the meeting runs on for ten hours...” He rubbed his temples with his fingertips.

  Anika could see that for all the perfection of his handsome face, here in person before her, James was as exhausted as she was—probably even more so. But his tiredness didn’t make him any less attractive. She had always noticed that any type of emotion only animated his face and made it more impossible not to look at him.

  Something else about James: nothing in the world smelled as good as he did. The scent of his skin was utterly intoxicating to her. Sitting so close like this, closer than they’d been in such a long time, it suffused her lungs and made her giddy and lightheaded and a little bit wild.

  “I came here because I had to talk to you,” she said. “And I couldn’t wait for you to call me back.”

  He laughed. “I didn’t know you were so impatient,” he said.

  “I’ve wasted so much time,” she said. “I can’t waste another minute. I have things to tell you.”

  “Tell me everything,” he said.

  “I know what you did to get back my earring,” she said. “It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

  “They were your mom’s,” James said simply. “I had to find it.”

  “The second thing,” Anika said, “I’m not marrying Marco. He did give me a ring, but I never wore it. I broke things off with him—we’re totally finished.”

  “I saw you weren’t wearing the ring,” James said. “When I bumped into you on the stairs. Plus, I kinda figured he was lying, once I thought about it. He’s a bit of an asshole, isn’t he?”

  “He’s a complete asshole, actually,” Anika said. “He sold Bennet Knight and the Red Line. But I broke up with him before I knew that.”

  “I actually knew that, too,” James admitted.

  “What? You did?”

  “Yes, I’m the one that bought it.”

  “You…how is that possible? Marco said the deal was already done?”

  “At the Red Line dinner, your father said Axiom Investing was poking around Bennet Knight. I recognized the name—they buy businesses, chop them up, and sell the separate parts for more than the whole. So I called them and said I wanted to make an offer once the deal went through. I figured Marco wouldn’t just sell it straight to me. But of course, once Axiom had the business in hand, they got greedy. So I flew out here to salvage the deal. I wouldn’t say I got a bargain, but I got the whole thing, the Red Line included. So you won’t lose it, Anika. It’s safe.”

  “I can’t believe it,” she said, shaking her head in astonishment.

  “It’s true. I signed the papers an hour ago. The Red Line will be yours entirely.”

  “I can’t believe you did that for me.”

  “Anika,” he said, holding her hand tightly between his. “Everything I’ve done for the last ten years has been for you. The thousands of hours I spent working on my company, day after day, barely sleeping, barely eating, every minute of that was for you. I wanted to build something incredible, something that would prove I was worth something to your family. At first, I’ll admit, it was all out of spite. I was almost in a rage, I resented you, I was bitter. And worst of all, I missed you.

  “A hundred times I almost called you: when we got our first investor, when the company went public, when I finally sold it. Each time I wanted to call and say, ‘Am I good enough now?’ like a complete asshole. But I couldn’t call you because I couldn’t say that to you, because I was still in love with you.

  “And then I had all the money in the world, so I thought I’d forget about you. I travelled, I saw things, I met people, but none of them were you. I told myself I didn’t care anymore, that I was over you. Liam invited me to come out to New York—it seemed like the perfect opportunity to prove how I had moved on.

  “Liam had his own plans. He knew how I felt about you, he was the only person I told. He was trying to fix things between us. I knew what he was up to, but I thought I’d accomplish the opposite, I’d get closure and move on.

  “I saw you at the Red Line office and I thought, there. She’s just a person, probably not even the same person anymore. She’s moved past it, I’ve moved past it.

  “But I didn’t do what a sane man would do, which is just leave. I had to keep torturing myself. I made excuses to stay in the city, to be at places that you’d be. And of course I started to see that you hadn’t changed at all, not really. You were still as intelligent as ever, as compassionate, as determined. If you had changed, it was only for the better.

  “But I’d put myself in this ridiculous, idiotic position. I’d been cold to you, and I was dating your friend. And then fucking Marco turned up, and he did what I should have done from the moment I saw you—he swept you off your feet, told you how beautiful you are, treated you like a queen.

  “God, I was so jealous. I thought, that’s why people like him are happy and I’m not, because he went after what he wanted instead of letting it slip away from him. And do you know, Anika, if I thought you were truly happy with him, I would have walked away. Because you deserve to be happy, I want that for you more than anything.

  “But I know you. I watched the two of you together. I thought, she likes him, she may even love him a little. But when you looked at him, I didn’t see what I used to see when you looked at me. And that’s why I had hope, just a little bit of hope.”

  “Do you see it
now?” she asked, looking up at him.

  “Yes,” he said.

  He kissed her there, in the middle of the hotel lobby, with dozens of people all around.

  It was the sort of kiss that obliterates everything outside of it, that creates a perfect sphere of experience through which no sound or motion can penetrate. And time draws out longer and longer, and yet it can never be long enough, you never, ever want it to end.

  Feverishly, they gathered up their bags, without taking their arms from around each other. Because now that they were touching one another, they absolutely refused to stop. They couldn’t imagine how they lasted so long without this.

  They took the elevator up to the twenty-eighth floor, where James had his room. They laughed as he fumbled to unlock the door with his keycard.

  Before the door had even swung closed behind them, they were tearing at each other’s clothing, their lips and hands reaching for every available inch of skin. As Anika unbuttoned James’s pale blue dress shirt and pulled it open, she couldn’t help but say, “Oh my god,” out loud.

  “What is it?” James said.

  “It’s just...you didn’t look like this before.”

  Anika was used to how tall James was, but not how broad he had become, how filled out. She ran her fingertips gently down the muscle of his chest, his stomach, felt how tight and hard he was under the smooth, soft skin.

  “Do you like it?” he said.

  “Of course I do,” she laughed.

  He swept her up, lifted her like she made of feathers and deposited her on the bed. Anika was tall herself, so rarely did she feel delicate, dwarfed by the size and strength of somebody else. It was a thrilling feeling, both arousing and vulnerable.

  James pulled off her sandals, kissing the delicate arch of her foot, then her calf, trailing his way up to her thighs. He seemed to give off five times the heat of a normal person, she could feel it radiating from his mouth, his tongue, his hands every place that they touched her. It made her skin burn as well, and her whole body started to ache with the desperate desire to be touched by him.

  He began to lick and kiss and touch between her legs. She remembered something else about him now, how he was so good with his hands, how he could do a dozen things at once. He made her flesh turn to liquid, so she was melting, melting, melting into the bed.

  She began to build to a climax. The size, the intensity of the wave building inside of her almost frightened her. She knew when it broke, she would have no control whatsoever. But she didn’t care. She wasn’t worried anymore what James would think of her. She knew that he loved her absolutely, that she didn’t have to worry anymore how she looked or sounded.

  So she let the wave break as hard and as long as it wanted to, she was as loud as she wanted to be, she held nothing back.

  While she was still coming down off it, before she had recovered at all, James got up on the bed and climbed on top of her, thrusting inside of her.

  Immediately the feeling began to build again. This time it was even stronger, even more intense, almost painful. She could feel how broad and strong James’s back was, how tightly he gripped her. She felt like he could snap her in two if he wanted, but she knew he wouldn’t hurt her in the slightest. It was like riding a tiger.

  The ferocity of her second climax was like nothing she had felt in her life, it felt as if it would rip her into pieces. Sparks of light burst behind her closed eyes. She clung to James with all her might, every muscle clenching and trembling, and then she collapsed, limp as a rag.

  But James wasn’t done with her. There were years of pent up longing between the two of them. Added to that, in recent months, acute frustration and points of near desperation.

  James flipped her over and kept going from behind, holding her upright with her body pinned tight against his, her back against his chest, his hands on her breasts. He slammed their bodies together over and over, exorcizing every ounce of the yearning and craving they had both experienced in their time apart.

  At last he slowed just a little, his chest shining with sweat. Anika turned around to sit upright on his lap, her arms wrapped tight around his neck, her legs around his waist, their foreheads pressed together. She rode him gently, looking into his eyes. When she felt a climax beginning to build again, she whispered in his ear, “Come with me.”

  They moved together, in perfect sync. They climbed the mountain together, and they came rushing down the other side, Anika biting down on his shoulder, James with his hands wrapped tight in her hair.

  It was the most intense and present moment of Anika’s life. Her mind had never felt so clear. Never had she experienced such acute feeling in every cell of her body. Every one of her senses was tuned to a fever pitch. She could hear the beating of their hearts, the panting of their breath. She could smell the delicious scent of James’ skin, his light sweat and his warm, clean flesh. She could taste his arousal when their mouths met, and she could see the tiny golden-brown hairs on his arms standing up from the potent electric charge between them. And most of all, she could feel him – feel every millimeter of their skin in contact, throbbing with pleasure from that connection.

  It was a moment that seemed to last a thousand years. One that she never could have forgotten, if she lived a thousand more.

  And then at last it ended.

  They lay down, still locked tight together. They lay that way for a long time, neither one willing to let go.

  They might have dozed for a while. It had been such a long time since either of them slept. And the satisfaction they were feeling, the sense of absolute peace and completion, had been ten years in the making.

  When Anika woke, James was awake too, looking at her.

  “I’m so sorry,” Anika said.

  “What are you sorry for?”

  “I should have come to California with you.”

  “I should never have asked you to make that choice,” James said, “when I knew you weren’t ready yet.”

  Her heart was aching in her chest. Looking at his beautiful, deep blue eyes, his smile of complete acceptance and understanding, she couldn’t imagine how she had survived without him.

  “We could have had so much more time together,” Anika said, tears in her eyes.

  “It doesn’t matter,” James said. “We’ll have so much more. We’ll have the rest of our lives together. Besides, being here with you now, I can’t wish that anything was different.”

  “You can’t?”

  “No. I thought I loved you then, but I had no idea what my life would be without you, how empty every achievement and every experience would seem. Now I know how black it is without you. Now I can appreciate you the way you deserve.”

  “It’s true,” she said slowly, “We were kids then. Now we can be more than lovers, we can be partners.”

  “That’s what I want,” James said fervently. “You know, I’ll have to come back here once or twice a month while Liam and I set up the fund—will you come with me? They have so many good designers here. You could find some to do guest collections for the Red Line. So you don’t have to count on Bennet all the time.”

  Anika laughed as she realized something.

  “You know, you’re going to be his boss now,” she said.

  “Jesus, please don’t tell him I bought the company,” James rolled his eyes. “I can’t stand the thought of him being nice to me.”

  “It’s disturbing when he tries to be friendly,” Anika agreed.

  “We could stay here the rest of the week,” James said. “Have you seen much of the city?”

  “Only the bits I saw while I was running around looking for you,” Anika said.

  “There are all these beautiful little islands we can visit, gardens, Buddhist temples...there’s this path called the Dragon’s Back, it’s a trail along the mountainside running right along the coast.”

  Usually Anika would have felt guilty, imaging all the work she had waiting for her at home, but this time she didn’t allow that th
ought to drag her down for even a second.

  “Let’s do it!” she said at once. “Let’s do it all!”

  “God, I’m so happy,” James cried, squeezing her tight. “I’ll never let go of you.”

  His phone chimed softly from wherever he had dropped it on the floor. Anika retrieved it from underneath the bed. As she handed it to James, she saw Liam’s name on the screen.

  “What does it say?” she asked.

  “It says ‘Did Anika find you yet?’,” James said. “He’s going to be so smug about this. You charmed him from the moment you met. He said you were the most pure-hearted person imaginable, that even Molly and I hadn’t done you justice in describing you. Every time I came whining to him about how it was all pointless, that I should give up, he gave me a verbal slap in the face and sent me back to the city.”

  “Remind me to send him a bottle of wine,” Anika said. “I had no idea I had a fairy godfather in my corner.”

  “He’ll be happy,” James said slowly. “And so will your aunt, I think. She liked Marco, but I think she loves Liam enough to take his endorsement, if he puts in a good word for me. But what about Stella and Bennet? They might hold a grudge. Will that bother you still?”

  “Stella and Bennet can jump off the Empire State Building for all I care,” Anika said fiercely. “If they say one thing about you, I’ll slap them both.”

  “Alright, alright!” James laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. “You’ve become a little tigress, haven’t you?”

  “You said you don’t regret anything,” Anika said. “But I do. You remember that dinner with them, at the steakhouse?”

  “I remember,” James said, “but don’t worry about that, it’s all behind us now.”

  “I just want you to know, that will never happen again,” Anika said. “I’m yours, and you’re mine, completely.”

  “That’s right,” James said.

  He kissed her again. Just like their kiss in the lobby, the whole world melted away around them. There wasn’t the slightest particle of reduction in their passion, in fact it only seemed to increase by the minute.