by Taryn Belle
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
IF KIKI THOUGHT she and Dev had hungered for each other before their brief breakup, it was nothing compared to afterward. Their desire was so unrelenting that she actually began to fear for her mental health. Their encounter on the plane had been followed by another the moment they were back in Dev’s tour bus, and another after dinner that night. The next morning they’d flown to Sydney, where Dev had made the ultimate sacrifice: after Kiki had refused to switch to first class, thinking it unfair to the rest of the crew, Dev had given up his seat and flown cattle class with her for the two flights totalling over twenty-one hours. They’d spent most of it in a state of aching need for each other, which drove them into the cramped bathroom together when masturbating each other under the blanket wasn’t enough.
In Sydney they’d checked into their hotel room, and despite their jet lag and exhaustion, they’d barely made it out of the elevator with their clothing still on. She simply couldn’t get enough of him. One foot away was too far. His cock inside her was only the beginning of the connection she felt to him. Her entire private area thudded with the pain of overuse, but it was the most amazing feeling she’d ever known. It meant that Dev was hers. Her entire world was him, but she knew she had to get a grip on herself if she had any hope of doing the two things she still needed to: find out if Victoria O’Hare was her mother and tell Dev the truth about her infertility.
On her first full day in Sydney, Kiki rose after noon to find Dev gone from her side. She smiled as she left their bed, still feeling him between her legs from their dreamlike, half-asleep early morning session. Now he was in a meeting, so it was the perfect time for her to formulate a plan for contacting Victoria O’Hare. Given all the distractions with Dev, she hadn’t thought about it much recently, but she was also surprised to realize that her sense of urgency had waned. Maybe it was just because the moment was finally here after so many years, but instead of reaching for her phone and dialing that number, she found herself puttering around the room, unpacking, ordering brunch and generally avoiding the whole situation. But she was only in Sydney for three days, so she knew she had to get moving on it.
After showering and dressing in a simple blue dress for the spring weather, Kiki sank down on the sofa with her phone. The Sofitel Sydney Darling Harbour was as luxurious as hotels came. She’d never been one to be impressed by what wealth could buy—the values her father had raised her with were much more nonmaterial—but she had to admit that staying in world-class hotels wasn’t horrible. Her and Dev’s room overlooking Sydney Harbour had windows wide and deep enough to make her feel like she was suspended over the water. And the city was as beautiful as promised, an alluring mix of North American and European architecture with a unique flavor all its own.
Pulling the real estate website up on her phone, Kiki contemplated her options. Sending Victoria an email made no sense—Kiki could have done that from Moretta—and showing up at her workplace and springing the big question on her seemed awkward and inconsiderate. The only option that made any sense was to pretend to be a client interested in buying a home, meet up with her and suss out the situation. Of course it meant she’d have to come up with a fake name, but she couldn’t do much about that—there wasn’t much point in coming halfway around the world to do this just to give herself away now.
Kiki’s heart started to thump as she planned out her opening words. Even if she was feeling slightly less invested emotionally, the idea of playing a role and the great unknown that would come afterward had her nerves going.
She dialed the number and a woman’s voice picked up. “Hello, you’ve reached the office of Victoria O’Hare. Please leave me a message and I’ll return your call at my earliest convenience.” Voice mail. Kiki was glad she didn’t have to fake a conversation quite yet. She tried to analyze the woman’s voice. There was a bit of an accent, but it was hard to place. A mix of Aussie with something else, but was it American?
Kiki realized that the beep had sounded and that she was breathing into a void. “Uh—hello. My name is Katherine Jones, and I’m interested in one of your listings. If you could call me back at 555-890-2900, I would appreciate it. That’s, uh, a US number. I’m just visiting. But interested in a house. In Sydney. Um, thanks.”
Kiki cringed as she hung up. The voice mail robot hadn’t given her the option to rerecord her message, so she was stuck with what she’d left—and she’d sounded like a mess. She tapped a fingertip on her phone’s screen. She still had no idea what she was going to say to the woman if they met. Was she going to play it cool and delicately try to pull information out of her, or was she going to confront her head-on? Maybe she won’t call back, Kiki thought, and suddenly she wasn’t sure if that would be a disappointment or a relief.
But perhaps that was just because she had more important things on her mind. Dev was due back any minute, and Kiki had made herself a promise she swore she wouldn’t break. She’d run out of excuses, and it was time to tell Dev the truth about herself.
* * *
As Dev made his way across the hotel lobby toward the elevators, he grinned at passing strangers and even exchanged a few words with the concierge. It wasn’t like him to extend himself in public, but he was so fucking happy that he could barely contain it.
Being with Kiki again was more than a dream come true—it was the most incredible reality he could imagine. They couldn’t keep their bodies apart. He’d gotten used to walking around with a permanent semi-hard-on that could swell into a full-blown problem if he let himself think about her too much. All he wanted to do was fuck her in every possible position and location, but the sex was only a by-product of his feelings for her. Her every laugh, smile, tear, insight and observation was worth a grand-scale celebration to him. Sure, she still had some rough road ahead of her if she actually ended up meeting her mother, but Dev would be there for her every step of the way. He would do anything for her. He wanted to pull her entire being into himself, where he could keep her safe and spoon-feed her pure happiness for the rest of her life. Without a doubt he knew he had found her—the woman he would spend forever with, build a family with, have hot sex with until he was old and gray. He loved her with all of his heart, mind and soul, and he couldn’t wait for the right moment to tell her.
And he could, now that he was practically free and clear. This morning, before leaving their hotel room, he’d finally done it—flushed his meds down the toilet. Well, his Ambien at least. He wasn’t stupid; he knew the dangers of quitting Xanax too quickly, so he’d kept just enough for a comfortable withdrawal, safely tucked away in a pocket of his suitcase. It wasn’t the end, but it was the beginning of the end. He’d taken action, which meant he didn’t need to divulge anything to Kiki about it, after all.
Dev tapped his foot as he pushed the button for the elevator, anxious to get upstairs and indulge in their second session of the day. But there was one thing he needed to do first, something he should have done a long time ago—get in touch with Larry Weatherby. He’d been a fool to let his pride stand in the way of a collaboration that could lead to a switch within his career. Slipping behind the scenes to write and produce for the music industry’s hottest talents was more appealing than ever to Dev. It would mean he could leave the road behind, spend more time on Moretta with Kiki. He pulled his phone out and typed a quick email to the producer.
The elevator dinged, and Dev was about to step inside when Bix stepped out. “Just the man I wanted to see,” he said.
Dev gave a silent groan. He knew he’d been distracted on this tour, that he hadn’t been giving Bix his usual amount of attention, and that Bix wasn’t a man who took well to that. Dev had managed to push aside his mild guilt over it, but standing in front of him brought it all back. Bix had been in his corner since day one, and there were very few people Dev could say that about. He clapped him on the shoulder. “Bix, my man. What’s up?”
“You tell me. You’ve been p
retty scarce lately. Everything good?”
“Everything’s great. Just busy chasing the dream, you know?”
“I do.” Bix shoved his hands in his pockets and gave him a meaningful look. “Nice hotel room? You got everything you need?”
“Yeah.” Dev flipped his hair off his forehead as he glanced around for eavesdroppers. Tomorrow night he was going onstage with only half a dose in his system. He knew the nerves might show up later, but right now he was feeling good about it. Calm. And part of changing his habit was making the commitment to more than just himself. He lowered his voice. “Actually, I’m glad I ran into you. I wanted to let you know I’ve made a decision. The stuff I take—I don’t like what it does to me. I’m going to spend the next couple weeks getting off it, and then I’m done.”
Bix rocked back on his heels. “Done? You really think that’s a good idea? Big show tomorrow night.”
Dev shrugged. “I’ve done the Super Dome enough times. It’s familiar territory, I’ll be fine.”
Bix looked skeptical. “Just five shows to go. Why not stay comfortable till you’re finished?”
“Because I’m stronger than that.” Dev set his jaw. “Look, I really do appreciate your concern, okay? You’ve always had my back. But this is something I have to do. I’m not twenty anymore. Times have changed, I’ve changed, and I’m ready for my career to look different, too.”
Dev didn’t like the downward slant of Bix’s brow. “And does that difference include your little assistant?”
Dev felt his mouth tighten. “Kiki is not my ‘little assistant.’ And whether she has anything to do with it or not is irrelevant. I’m making some changes I should have made a long time ago.”
Bix jingled his change in his pocket, and then he broke into a smile. He clapped Dev on the back. “Hey. It’s your life, Stone, and you know I’m here for you no matter what.”
Dev grinned back at him, feeling more relieved than he cared to admit. It was hard to imagine any aspect of his career without Bix’s support. He stepped inside the car and jabbed the elevator button. “Thanks, man. I’ll see you later.”
* * *
He was back. Kiki’s pulse started to race as she heard the beep of Dev’s key card at the door.
Steady. You can do this. Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think.
But it would be. Kiki knew all too well what it was like to go through life assuming that one day you’d pass your genes on, blend them with the person you loved to create a life, bond over the beauty and pain of pregnancy and childbirth. That reality would never be theirs. She would never bear a biological child, and Kiki knew that was a deal breaker for many men...like Jack.
“Hey, beautiful,” Dev said when he came into the room.
“Hey, rock star,” Kiki tried, but her throat clicked closed. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears. Dev took her in his arms and gave her a soft kiss. Kiki could feel his want for her press into her waist, but he made no move to act on it. It was one of the things she loved about him—he sensed her moods and seemed to know exactly what she needed, and right now it wasn’t sex. “You’re trembling,” he said, drawing back to look at her. His expression turned serious. “You called her, didn’t you?”
Kiki nodded wordlessly. Yes, but that’s only the beginning, she thought.
“And?”
“And it went to voice mail.”
“Did you leave a message?”
“Yeah, but I wish I hadn’t. I had to pretend I was an interested buyer, and it came out sounding so dumb. I don’t know, I guess I didn’t think I’d be so nervous. But I was a wreck—I could barely think straight.”
“That’s totally normal.”
“No, it’s not!” Kiki pressed her face into Dev’s chest. She was seriously on edge, and it wasn’t just because she was about to spill her guts to the man she was indescribably crazy about. She was on an emotional roller coaster. She may have tried to convince herself that her interest in meeting her mother had faded, but she recognized a protection mechanism when she saw it. She did care, and the thought of sitting down across from the woman, of searching her face for a physical likeness and probing into her past for clues, seemed like an insurmountable task. She looked up into Dev’s face. “You perform in front of fifty thousand fans and you’re fine. I can’t even make a phone call without feeling like my heart’s going to hammer through my chest.”
Dev smoothed her hair back from her face, and then he looked down at her for so long she started to squirm. “What?”
“I was just thinking about my first piano recital. It was also my last.”
Kiki tilted her head. “But I thought you knew how to play.”
“I do, but I learned in my teens. My recital happened when I was nine.”
“And, let me guess—you killed it.”
“Not exactly.” Dev kissed the top of her head, and though he was holding her tightly when he spoke again, his expression was faraway. “I sure thought I would, though. I practiced for hours. I was so excited—it was going to be my big moment, the day I finally got a real audience instead of just a few friends cheering me on while I danced around on my bed. I mean, I dreamed about that applause—it was going to be thunderous.” He gave a short laugh as he stroked her back absently.
“Uh-huh?” Kiki prompted when he stayed silent.
Dev shook his head. “I didn’t get a single note out. My mind went completely blank. I sat down on that bench, and the notes on my music sheet just...blurred together. The next thing I knew my father was standing beside me. When I saw him, I stood up hard enough to topple the bench and ran off the stage.”
“Oh, my God,” Kiki said slowly. “So that night in Venice...it just brought it all back to you. And I was so pushy!”
“No, you weren’t. You just wanted me to play something for you, and I—I really wanted to. I pictured myself going up there, doing the big serenade for my dream date just like in the movies.” His chin dropped. “But I couldn’t.”
Kiki slid her arms around his neck, thoughts of her mother and even her pending confession forgotten. A few days ago she would have taken this story at face value, but now she sensed a deeper meaning to it. She knew Dev so much better, as if their bodies had revealed secrets to each other that went beyond the physical. She thought back to a conversation on his bus, when he’d told her about his early stage fright. And other times, she’d put it down to modesty when he’d cut her admiration for his performance confidence short. But was it something else that had silenced him?
Kiki had to let him know he could trust her. That she was the warm, comforting space he could step into whenever he needed it, and that she would never turn him back out into the cold. “It took so much strength for you to get up there on that first night, didn’t it?” she said carefully. “The Hollywood Bowl, I can’t even imagine.”
Dev kept stroking her back. She saw his throat bob as he swallowed.
Kiki’s phone rang from the sofa. They both looked down at the screen: Webber Real Estate. She brought a hand to her mouth and looked at Dev with big eyes. The timing was ridiculous—the last thing she wanted to do was break this moment. But Dev was already snatching her phone off the sofa.
“Answer it,” he said as he held it out to her. He gave her cheek a quick stroke. “I’m right here.”
Kiki had little choice but to accept her phone. Reminding herself of her fake identity, she hit the green button. “Hello?” Her voice came out in a rasp. She cleared her throat and tried again. “This is Katherine speaking.”
“Katherine, it’s Victoria O’Hare from Webber Real Estate. Thank you for your message.”
Kiki focused on the sound of the woman’s voice. Pleasant and businesslike. Australian with a touch of...what? “I—thank you for calling me back.”
“Of course. Which listing was it you were interested in?”
Kiki’s
mind went momentarily blank, but then she pulled it up from the file in her head. She’d researched it this morning. “The one in Freshwater. On Bay Street.”
“Oh, yes, the condo. Beautiful home, fully renovated, though it does overlook a busy part of the street. Are you familiar with the area?”
“No. I mean—I’m just visiting. But my, uh, partner and I were thinking of buying a second home here.”
“How exciting! I’m open to show it to you on Sunday morning, does that suit? I just have to double-check the time with the seller.”
Sunday. Three days from now. Kiki would be gone by then, preparing for a show in Adelaide. “Sure,” she lied, her brain finally kicking in. “But I was wondering if we might meet beforehand. Like I said, I’m new to the area, so I was hoping you could help me get the lay of the land. Describe the market, different neighborhoods, things like that. Maybe we could meet for coffee tomorrow or Saturday?” She held her breath.
“Certainly, I’d love to,” Victoria replied brightly. “Only I’m leaving for a convention in Brisbane this evening. But I’d be happy to get someone else from my office to meet with you in my stead, and then we can catch up on Sunday.” No. Kiki was wracking her brain for a new angle when Victoria spoke again. “Unless, of course, you’d like to meet right now. I’m open for the next hour or so.”
Kiki’s heart stopped. Right now. Her voice caught again when she spoke. “Yes. I could meet you right away,” she said, shifting her eyes to Dev. She could almost feel her pupils dilating with anxiety as he gave her an encouraging nod. Kiki exchanged location details with the woman, and then she hung up.
“I’ll go with you,” Dev said immediately. “If you want.”
Kiki shook her head. “I’d love that, I really would, but... I don’t know. I think I need to do this on my own.”
