by Lolita Lopez
She gulped anxiously, memories of other encounters trying to darken the mood of this new experience with Raze. “Don’t grab my neck, please.”
His cheek twitched and his gaze hardened. “Did someone choke you?”
She nodded, averting her gaze with shame. “He liked to see me panic. It made him more excited. He never made me feel good. It was only about hurting me. I wasn’t allowed to find any kind of joy with him or the men he gave me to for a night. I was just there to serve and accept.”
Raze ran his thumb along her lower lip but didn’t force her to lift her gaze just yet. “I’m not that kind of man, Ella. I don’t find pleasure in pain or fear.”
She nipped at his thumb and dared to look into his eyes again. “I know. I can tell that about men. It’s a sixth sense you develop when you’re young and living on the streets. You can spot the people who want to hurt you from twenty paces.”
“I’m sorry you had to live like that, Ella. It’s not fair or right for any child to be struggling to survive on the streets.”
“There are parts of my life I wish had never happened, but for the most part, I’m glad I experienced what I did. It taught me that I’m a survivor. It taught me that strength comes in different forms. I’m strong enough to make it anywhere.”
“Yes, you are.” He brushed his knuckles along her cheek. “When we’re together like this, I want you to feel safe with me. Don’t let me cross any lines. Just tell me to stop. I won’t be upset. Ever.”
“Right now,” She leaned forward until their noses were touching, “I don’t want you to stop. I want you to show me everything you know. I want you to teach me to feel the way Dizzy and Naya feel when they’re with their men. Show me what it’s like to feel good.”
His breaths were shuddery as he nodded. He seemed completely up to the task as he pressed her back to the bed. Gripping her underwear, he dragged them down her hips and off her legs before tossing them aside. She bit her lip with anticipation as he spread her thighs. Was he going to put his mouth on her?
In all of her experiences with men, never had any of them done that. It had never been offered, and she had never been brave enough to ask. The men in her past considered licking between a woman’s legs to be degrading or disgusting. Funny how none of them ever felt the same about a woman putting her mouth on them.
“Fuck, Ella,” he swore. “Look at how pink you are right now.” His thumb followed the line of her labia, separating them gently. “You’re so wet and slick.” He pressed his thumb into her core, sliding it back and forth gently. “I’m going to eat your pussy until you scream.”
Tossing her head back, she tried to still her racing heart as he lowered his head. The first touch of his tongue to her clitoris was like a burst of fireworks. She arched into him, gripping the blanket beneath her as his tongue languidly traced a circle around the little nub. He took his time teasing her with wicked flicks. He removed his thumb and replaced it with two of his longer fingers, gliding into her and stroking in a way that felt utterly decadent.
“Raze,” she whispered, her body trembling with blissful shocks. Deep in her belly, she could feel that tightening coil of heat building and building. He hummed against her sex and suckled her clit, drawing on it with slow tugs and then rubbing his tongue over it. Her toes were curling into the mattress now, her thighs held wide open by his rough hand as he did wild things to her.
With a burst of joy, she came against his mouth. Back arched, she cried out his name again and again as he groaned against her pussy and kept right on lapping and sucking until a second climax overwhelmed her. Trying to escape his sinful mouth, she felt the raw strength of Raze as he gripped her thighs and held her right there, forcing her to submit to the pleasure.
He left her throbbing clit alone for a few moments, letting his tongue drift lower. He withdrew his fingers and swirled them around that sensitive spot. He dotted kisses along her lower belly and inner thighs while his fingers massaged her closer and closer to another orgasm. When she started to breathe unevenly and shudder, he lowered his mouth to her again and replaced his fingers with his tongue. She really did scream that time, her voice echoing in the small space as Raze reduced her to a trembling, panting mess.
Finally showing mercy on her, he wiped his mouth on her thigh and left a trail of warm, soft kisses around her navel. He shocked her by kissing the long, gnarly scar on her belly before tracing it with the path of his tongue. She didn’t feel self-conscious about the mark with him. After all, his body had far worse scars on it.
“Are you all right?” he asked while gently rubbing her hip.
She nodded weakly. “No one ever…”
“Idiots,” he muttered against her stomach. “There’s nothing like feeling a woman come undone on your tongue. They have no idea what they’re missing.”
Her face flushed with a mix of embarrassment and want. Grasping his waist, she tugged on him. “I know what I’m missing. It’s your turn.”
“You don’t have to—”
She cut him off with a kiss. “I want to, Raze. Let me have what I want.” She pushed on his shoulders. “On your back.”
“You’re coming with me.” Showing a playful side, he grabbed and hauled her with him. She ended up straddling his hips, and there was no mistaking the stiff erection prodding against her bottom. She gave a little wiggle, and he groaned as he bucked against her, rubbing his cock between her cheeks. She gasped at the sensation, but he looked instantly chastised. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“Stop apologizing,” she whispered, putting her finger to his lips. “I liked the way it felt. I like the way you make me feel.”
With a silent nod, he assented to her request. She understood that apologizing was his way of making her feel safe. She could see that he wanted their time together to be different from all the assignations of her past. While she appreciated the gesture, she wanted to know what it was like to be manhandled by him, to be fucked into the mattress while holding onto his shoulders for dear life.
Leaning down, she kissed his chest. He was so incredibly built, his body hard and lean. His skin was deceptively soft, and she couldn’t get enough of running her hands over him. She moved slowly down his body, dotting kisses here and there. She scraped her nails over his belly and grinned coyly at the way he shuddered and groaned.
Finally between his legs, she made a show of coiling her long hair into a bun and tucking in the ends to loosely secure it. Face to face with his massive cock, she licked her lips and stroked him. He was so big in her hand she wondered if she could take him, even as wet as she was for him.
Enjoying the steely heat in her hand, she stroked him tighter and slid down onto her belly. With a teasing swirl, she took him into her mouth. He cursed under his breath, and she smiled around the head of his cock. She lapped at him, working the most sensitive part of his shaft with her mouth while stroking the length of him.
Wanting to make him come undone in the same way he had, she started at the root of him and licked a long stripe right to the tip. She gathered the shiny slick droplets there before taking him into her mouth again, this time going deep. She didn’t stop until her nose nuzzled his pelvis. She let his penis sit there in the warm alcove of her throat for a few seconds before gracefully sliding back up and then down again.
By now, Raze was gripping the bedcovers and seemingly fighting the urge to thrust into her mouth. Still bobbing up and down on his thick cock, she reached for one of his hands and brought it toward the back of her head. She felt his fingers tangle in her hair, and she lifted her gaze to his, silently giving him permission to enjoy what she was offering to him.
He moved cautiously at first, just pushing forward a few inches and retreating. She dragged her nails down his thighs, feeling him shiver under her touch. He swore loudly and then pushed into her mouth even deeper. She smiled around his shaft and let her tongue do all the work, relaxing her jaw and giving him what he wanted.
Just when she tho
ught he was getting close, he suddenly pulled away. “Stop,” he growled breathlessly. “I want to come inside you, Ella.”
She discreetly wiped her mouth before taking his outstretched hands. He hefted her on top of him before sliding his palms down to her bottom. She placed her hands on his chest, steadying herself as he lifted her backside and lined up their bodies. Moaning, she pressed down on his cock, closing her eyes as the thick head breached her opening. He groaned at the same time and thrust up into her, not hard but with enough force to fully sheath himself.
And—oh—it felt so good! She had never been so filled. Sinking down on his cock, she started to smile. This was what she had always imagined sex was like for other people. This was what she had always wanted to experience. And now she was. With Raze.
Holding his gaze, she began to move. She rocked back and forth on his lap, reveling in the unbelievable sensation between her legs. He gripped her bottom, squeezing and kneading as she started to move faster and harder on top of him. Leaning forward a little, she found the angle that made her see stars. His cock nudged against a spot inside her that made her legs shake.
“That’s it, baby,” he urged, his voice heavy with desire. One of his hands moved to her chest. He pinched her nipple with enough bite that she cried out and clenched around his shaft. His other hand joined the first, his dexterous fingers pinching and pulling and sending little shockwaves right down to her pussy. “Touch yourself, Ella. Make yourself come on my cock.”
His commanding voice took her breath away. She followed his order, reaching down to the place where their bodies met and rubbing steadily. Beneath her, Raze started to thrust forcefully, his hips snapping off the bed. He cupped her breasts from beneath, his huge hands making her feel small and delicate.
When she felt that first wild flutter, Ella matched the pace of his thrusts and let go. Head thrown back, she came with a whimper and a moan. Not wanting to finish without him, she leaned forward and pressed her hands to his chest. Wild now, she snapped her hips and rode him until he was cursing and groaning underneath her.
Grasping her waist, he slammed into her, arching his back and sliding deep. His whole body shook as his climax tore through him. “Ella!”
She collapsed on top of him, dropping her cheek to his shoulder. They shuddered together, their bodies trembling with aftershocks. She reveled in the scent of him and the heat of his skin. He embraced her, his big arms holding her tight and making her feel secure and safe. She nuzzled into his neck and kissed his jaw. “Thank you, Raze.”
He kissed her temple and brushed his fingers through her tangled hair. “You are absolutely precious to me, Ella.”
His remark took her by surprise. She lifted her head just enough to meet his tender gaze. He smiled at her and pressed their lips together for a lingering moment. “Whatever happens between us, I want you to know that you are dear to me.”
“You’re going to make me cry,” she whispered, her eyes already stinging.
“Don’t cry,” he murmured, tucking her in tight against his chest and brushing his lips along her forehead. She could feel his mouth curving with a teasing smile as he added, “I’m not even close to done with you yet. You’ll kill the mood if you start crying.”
She swatted his arm and giggled. His laughter rumbled through his chest and into her, filling her with the most wonderful sensation of lightness and happiness. As his hands glided over her curves, she snuggled in closer. She didn’t know what the next month would bring, but she had high hopes for a future with Raze.
Chapter Eleven
Hours later, Raze woke from a deep and surprisingly restful sleep to the sensation of a warm body pressed against him. Careful so as not to wake her, he turned onto his side and brushed a few loose waves away from her face. She was so beautiful as she slept, her face relaxed and her breaths slow and unhurried. Knowing that she felt safe with him made his heart beat a little faster.
Sex with her had been even more explosive than he had expected. He had feared that he would trigger a panic response or hurt her, but she was so damn strong. She had mastered the art of compartmentalizing the horrible shit that had happened to her, pushing it away so she could focus on the here and now.
There was so much passion inside her. He wanted to help her unleash all that erotic potential. He wanted her to feel carefree and secure in his bed and in his arms. He wanted to help her experience all the heady sensuality that could be found together in a playroom.
“You’re creeping me out,” she murmured sleepily, her eyes still closed and her pouty lips curving with a teasing smile.
He laughed softly and kissed the tip of her nose. “Sorry for staring.”
She inhaled deeply and rolled away from him. “It’s okay.”
When she started to shimmy back against him, he slipped an arm under her body and hauled her in closer. He dragged curls away from shoulder with his chin and nuzzled into the curve of her neck. “We should probably get up.”
“Why?”
He kissed her neck and smiled as she shivered. “You know what? I don’t have a good reason.”
“You’re a creature of habit,” she guessed correctly. “You’re used to being busy and in command. Me? I’m like a house cat. I want to be petted, fed and left to nap.”
Grinning against her hair, he decided that was the perfect way to describe her. “I’ve always wanted a pet.”
“Meow,” she said playfully.
Laughing at her silliness, he palmed her breast and kissed her cheek. “I’ll have to put a bell on your collar.”
She stiffened a bit, and he wondered if he had overstepped or brought up a bad memory. A moment later, she nestled into him and reached back to touch his face. “I’ll wear your collar, but you have to promise me that you’ll never make me wear a leash or grab me by the front of the collar if you’re mad.”
A vision of Ella being dragged and choked by a collar invaded his mind. Sickened by the thought of it, he said, “I would never put my hands on you like that.”
“I know.”
“We don’t have to use a collar.”
“Yes, we do,” she insisted. “It’s your tradition. It’s your way. After that fiasco in the mess, I’m more than willing to wear one if it means I won’t be bothered by other men on this ship.”
He wanted to tell her that she didn’t need to wear one to be safe, but he didn’t want to lie to her. There were some absolute cretins on the ship. “You can take it off when we’re in our quarters together.”
“Maybe,” she said uncertainly. “I’ll see how it feels before I make a decision like that.”
“I appreciate you trying, Ella. I know isn’t easy for you.”
“It’s easier with you.” She pressed a tender kiss to his forearm and said, “In a way, I feel less pressure to be perfect for you because I’m not your first mate.” Hesitating, she added, “I hope that doesn’t sound cruel. I’m not trying to be mean. I’m just—”
“I understand what you meant,” he assured her.
“Oh, good.” She released an anxious breath. “Most of your men want someone new and untouched. They want someone who can be theirs and only theirs. I can never be that wife to any man, not after everything I’ve done and been through. But, with you, I don’t feel less than or not good enough.”
“You are not less than to me. You are good enough. You’re more than I will ever deserve.”
Frowning, she glanced back at him. “Don’t say that, Raze. You’re a good man. You’re honorable and kind. Your fellow soldiers respect you. You deserve to be happy.”
“Maybe we can learn to be happy together,” he suggested, his heart starting to thump wildly in his chest as he allowed himself to imagine a lifetime with her. He ignored that nagging voice in the back of his mind that wanted to intrude and ruin everything.
“I’m happy now.” She brought his hand to her mouth and kissed the back of it. With a coquettish smile, she added, “But I think you can make me a little happie
r…”
Catching on to her flirtatious insinuation, he said, “Just a little?”
Wiggling her bottom against his hardening erection, she said, “Maybe a lot.”
Laughing together, he didn’t want to let her go just yet. Running his hands over her body, he tried to memorize her curves. Her lush breasts filled his hands and the slope of her belly beckoned his hand lower and lower. He shifted her leg up and over his, opening her thighs so he could touch her right where he wanted. She mewled like a kitten as she traced her pussy, grazing his fingers over her sensitive skin.
He found a spot on her neck that made her tremble, sucking and nibbling at it in a way that would leave a mark. He had never been a territorial man, but the idea of Ella walking around with his love bite on her pale skin made him hard. She melted into him, turning boneless and limp as he dipped his fingers into her, gathering up the slick wetness and using it to ease the slow circles he rubbed around her clit. He liked her this, pliable and willing.
Taking his time, he teased her. He let his fingers explore and massage. Sometimes, he touched her with more pressure and speed, letting her climax build until she was close enough that her legs had started to stiffen with anticipation. Then, he would back down, take his hand away from her pussy and caress her legs or belly instead. She would start to pout and wriggle, desperate for his hand back between her thighs, but he would distract her with his mouth for a few minutes before giving her the touch she wanted.
After a few rounds of this, Ella was an absolute mess. Her thighs were slick, and her shaky breaths echoed in the stillness of his quarters. She begged, “Please, Raze.”
“Please what, Ella?” He nipped at her earlobe while dragging his fingertips around her swollen clit. “Do you want my cock? Do you want to come?”
“Both,” she replied breathlessly. “I want both.”
With one swift move, he rolled Ella onto her back and moved between her legs. She reached down to stroke his shaft, drawing a groan from his throat. Her soft hand felt so damn good sliding up and down his cock. He was torn between wanting to thrust deep inside her and wanting to let her finish him with her hand.
