by Lolita Lopez
But she solved that problem by making the decision for him. She drew the head of his erection down through her folds and pressed him against her. He didn’t need any other encouragement. He wanted exactly what she wanted.
Taking both of her hands in one of his, he dragged them over her head and pinned her in place. Her eyes widened at the move, but she didn’t ask him to stop. She licked her lips and smiled up at him, her pupils blown with arousal. He grabbed the base of his shaft and guided himself into her, closing his eyes as the wet heat enveloped him.
“Fuck, baby,” he growled as he slid balls-deep. “Your cunt is so hot.”
She squeezed him with her inner muscles, and he damn near came right then. She grinned up at him in that playful way he was growing to adore and rocked her hips. “Wreck me, Raze.”
His head throbbed as blood rushed through his veins. If she wanted it rough and hard, he was going to give it to her. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he drove into her. He held back a little at first, wanting to make sure she understood what his roughest and hardest could be. He was much taller and heavier than any of her past partners. What she considered rough and what he considered rough were two different things.
But it quickly became apparent that she wanted all he could give. He obliged. Grasping her wrists in his hand, he thrust into her in a way that brought him ultimate pleasure. Deep, hard, fast—he fucked her the way he had fantasized about after their night on the beach. She cried out and gasped, urging him onward.
Dipping down, he captured her mouth with a punishing kiss. She whimpered against his lips, and he swallowed down the low whine. He could tell she was getting close. Her staccato breaths grew sharper as he nipped at her neck and squeezed her wrists tighter. She arched up under him, her whole body trembling, and climaxed with a guttural moan.
Feeling her coming undone broke him. He wanted to draw it out, to flip her over and pound her right into the mattress, but his orgasm hit him hard and sudden. There was only a millisecond of warning as the base of his spine tingled. A heartbeat later, he was thrusting jerkily into her, his mouth an inch from hers as he grunted her name.
He almost collapsed on top of her. Wrung out and limp, he managed to fall to the side, missing her smaller body as he crashed down in a panting heap. Next to him, Ella tried to catch her breath amid her laughter. He glanced at her, quirking his brow at her odd outburst. “Are you okay?”
“Oh my gosh,” she said, seemingly awestruck. “All these years, and I had no idea it could be like that.”
His chest ached at the idea that she had been denied pleasure for so long. He reached for her, dragging her across the sheets and into his arms. Nuzzling her cheek, he murmured, “With a little practice, I bet we can top that.”
She whined dramatically and rubbed his chest. “You’re going to kill me with sex.”
Laughing, he kissed her forehead. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
“If you could feel my heartbeat right now, you would be running me to the infirmary.”
He placed his hand over her heart, and sure enough, her heart was beating wildly under his palm. Teasing her, he remarked, “I think you need more cardio workouts.”
She thumped his chest and frowned. “I’m stroking your ego and praising your wild sex skills, and you come back with exercise advice? So romantic, Raze.”
“Sorry,” he apologized, claiming her mouth with a tender kiss. “If you want to stroke something other than my ego…”
“Incorrigible,” she said, rolling over in a huff. “You’re absolutely incorrigible.”
“You love it.” He dragged her right back against him, throwing a leg over her petite body to lock her in tight. She didn’t try to wiggle away or ask for more room. She relaxed in his warm embrace, as if she liked being squeezed tight and held close, and he began to wonder if she might be amenable to rope play.
“I’m starting to,” she answered quietly.
While she grew drowsy in his arms, he let himself imagine that he might not have to give her up in thirty days. Maybe, just maybe, he could convince her to stay with him even if she found out about his sterility. Maybe she wouldn’t care that he couldn’t give her children. Maybe she could learn to love him despite his faults and shortcomings.
But he knew better than to get too hopeful about maybes. The loss of his first mate had taught him that. Once, he had hoped that maybe Sossanah could learn to love him. Maybe she could learn to understand him and accept him. Maybe he could figure out how to reach her and how to be a better, patient and more loving husband.
He had failed—utterly—because maybes weren’t enough.
Chapter Twelve
“I’ll be twenty minutes away if you need me.”
Still lounging in bed the next morning, Ella enjoyed the view of Raze getting dressed. “I’ll be fine.”
“The last time I left you here alone you ended up starting a riot,” he reminded her.
She rolled her eyes and sat up, dragging her knees toward her chin and letting the sheet drop away. “If you bring that up again, I’m going to wallop you with a pillow.”
“That’s assault on an officer,” he warned with a smile.
“What’s the punishment for that crime, sir?” she asked, knowing full well how he would react. “Are you going to put me over your knee and spank me?”
“Would you like that?” he asked, not looking up from the boot laces he was tying.
“Do you mean right now?” Before he could answer or look up, she tossed a pillow at him, smacking him in the shoulder. “Oops.”
Snatching up the pillow, he moved his heated gaze over her naked body. “If I wasn’t running late…”
“Tease,” she said with a pout before dramatically flopping onto her back and rolling away from him. Hiding her flirty smile, she wondered what he would do now. She enjoyed feeling him out, pushing and prodding his boundaries to see what he was really like. It was a strangely exhilarating experience to know she could play these games with him without fear of suffering pain or his anger. She felt safe with him. She trusted him.
Bending over her, he dropped the pillow onto the bed. His warm, rough hand glided along the outer edge of her thigh and lingered on her bare bottom. She swallowed nervously and waited for the bite of pain that would follow his hand smacking her.
“You better be careful, Ella.” He nuzzled her neck and whispered against her ear. She shivered at the sensation of his voice so close. Massaging her bottom, he warned, “You may not like it if I give you what you’re asking for…”
“Only one way to find out,” she replied cheekily.
“Later,” he promised before shocking her with a swift kiss to her bottom.
Squealing with laughter, she rolled over and grabbed him by the shoulders. Dragging him down, she kissed him and then caressed his face. “I promise I’ll be good today. I’ll stay right here and find ways to amuse myself.”
“After work, I’ll take you shopping for things you need.” He ran his thumb along her lower lip. “I’m going to stop by the housing department and see what kind of strings I can pull to get us out of bachelor housing as soon as possible.”
“I really am happy here in these quarters,” she said, hoping to convince him. “Obviously, I would prefer to be closer to Dizzy or Naya, but this is nice. It’s cozy, and it’s just the two of us anyway. For now,” she added, thinking about Risk’s surgery suggestion.
“Right,” he said tightly. “For now.”
Had she gone too far? Was he not ready to talk about the possibility of children? If she stayed with him and had the surgery, babies were the next obvious step. With as much sex as they were having in just their first days together, she would be pregnant in no time if Risk’s surgery worked.
Realizing this wasn’t the time to get into a deep conversation about their future, Ella didn’t press the issue after he kissed her and returned to his locker. Deciding to shift the topic, she asked, “Is there someone I can talk to ab
out my things back in The City? And my money in the colony banks?”
“I can set up an appointment with legal,” he offered, strapping on his weapons. “The money in colonies is safe, and you can access it at any time. Your property down in The City? That’s not so simple. Is there anything particular that you want? I might be able to back channel a retrieval through Danny?”
“I’d like to sell my apartment if it hasn’t been seized. I would like to use the money to help with my shelter.” She bit her lip. “Can I still work on that?”
“Are you asking if I will allow you to work on it or if my superiors will allow it?”
“Both.”
“I’ll do whatever I can to help you finish your shelter,” he promised. “That may be a project that Torment can help with,” he suggested. “He’ll see it as a way to promote our mission. I know that’s probably distasteful to you, but it could be a way to get all the funding you need. If you can find a way to frame it to benefit us,” he tapped his chest, “you’ll get all the money you want.”
Ella grimaced. “Frame it how? Not as a distribution point for brides, I hope.”
“No. Definitely not,” he agreed. “There will probably be girls who grow up and leave the shelter and choose to marry some of us, if given the choice, but that shouldn’t be the selling point.” Leaning down to kiss her one last time, he said, “I’ll think of some ways we can make this work for everyone.”
“Thank you, Raze.”
He touched her cheek for a lingering moment and then turned on his heel and left his quarters. Alone with her thoughts, she got comfortable in bed again. She hadn’t realized how tired she was until last night or how poorly she slept back in her old home. Here, with Raze, she had slept without waking. She hadn’t been worried by strange noises in the hallway or outside on the streets. It was a relief to be here with him, safe in his bed and in his arms.
But what was that moment of weirdness when she had obliquely mentioned babies? Wasn’t that the whole point of the Grabs? To find wives to give these warriors children to grow their ranks? Wasn’t that what Raze wanted?
What if it’s me?
The thought struck her painfully. What if Raze didn’t think she would be a good mother? Now that he knew all the horrible details of her past, was he having second thoughts? She wanted to dismiss that line of thinking. Raze was a good man, kind and patient. He had his faults, but they were workable. She wanted to stay with him and see if this might be the life she was meant to live.
But if Raze didn’t want to have children with her, what would happen? Would he let her go in a month? Would he send her along to the colonies? Find another, more suitable wife?
Her heart ached at the thought of another woman in Raze’s bed. The thought of being cast aside for someone better was almost too much to bear, especially after the last few stressful days. She wanted to be kept by Raze. She wanted to be protected and loved. She wanted to feel worthy.
Sitting up suddenly, she decided the best way to prove to Raze that she could be a proper wife was to mimic one. She got out of bed and walked over to the cabinet where she had stored the new bride kit she had been given her first night on the ship. Inside, she found a manual of sorts. Taking it back to bed, she cracked it open and started reading. She would prove to Raze that she could be a good wife to him, even if it meant she had to learn how to cook whatever the hell texturized protein substitute was…
Chapter Thirteen
“Boss,” Mayhem greeted as Raze left his quarters. The SRU leader had been waiting in the hallway for him, by the looks of it. “I wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday with Ella and Pierce.”
Raze held up his hand. “There’s no need, Mayhem. It was out of your control.”
“Still,” Mayhem insisted, falling in step beside him, “I ought to have gone by and made sure Ella knew to come to my quarters if someone from Shadow Force tried to take her.”
“I’m sure that Torment or Pierce would have found a way to talk her out of it,” Raze remarked as he scanned his wrist for the elevator. “You know what those assholes are like.”
Mayhem nodded. “Yeah.”
They stepped into the elevator, and as the doors closed, Mayhem asked, “How is Ella adjusting?”
Raze didn’t particularly want to talk about his private life, but it was a mostly innocuous question. “She’s struggling, but she’ll figure it out soon enough.”
“Has to be hard for her,” Mayhem remarked. “She wasn’t expecting to be Grabbed. She left her life behind. That can’t be easy.”
“No, it’s not.”
“It’s good that you’re the one who stole her,” Mayhem decided as they reached their floor. “You have the patience and understanding she needs.”
Raze wasn’t so sure about all of that. As he trailed Mayhem to the SRU headquarters, he couldn’t stop thinking about her comment that morning about it just being the two of them for now. She was clearly interested in Risk’s surgery offer. It was only natural that she would want children. She was young and full of love. She deserved to have children of her own.
But not with me.
It was a stab to the gut. The thought of another man in bed with her, making love her to her, hearing her come apart, made his jaw clench. She was his. He didn’t another man to take her away and give her the things he couldn’t. He wanted to be selfish and keep her.
“I leave you alone for two days,” Venom interrupted his thoughts, “and I come back to find out you punched another officer, stole a woman and had to break her out of the brig because she started a riot in the mess.”
Raze gestured rudely to Venom who sat behind his desk, feet kicked up as he grinned. Walking to his own desk a few feet away, he sat down and said, “It wasn’t as dramatic as the rumors would have you believe.”
Shaking his head, Venom asked, “If you were sweet on Ella, why the hell didn’t you just ask me or Dizzy to get you two together? You could have avoided a lot of trouble.”
Raze slid his wheeled chair closer to the door and shut it with his boot. “We had to lie about our relationship,” he explained when their privacy was secured. “She didn’t want to go with Swift, and I wasn’t about to let him take her. We—well, she—decided to go with the lie that we had been seeing each other since your honeymoon. It was the best option at the time.”
Venom narrowed his eyes. “I’m not blind, Raze. I saw the way you looked at her. I saw the way she looked at you when we were down on the beach.”
“I’m not denying we have chemistry.”
“Just chemistry?” Venom studied him. “I’m supposed to sit here and believe that you didn’t have her tied to your headboard all night?”
Raze frowned at him. “What goes on in my quarters is none of your business.”
“So, you didn’t tie her up?” Venom guessed correctly.
“No,” he admitted, hoping Venom would drop the interrogation.
“That was a good play. Dizzy told me a little about Ella before I met her. I know she had a rough start. You’re smart to take your time and let her set the pace.”
“Something like that,” Raze muttered.
“Did you get a collar yet?”
“No. I thought I’d grab one later. One of the thinner ones,” he added, thinking Ella would prefer something delicate.
“Dizzy will be happy to hear that,” Venom said, dropping his feet to the ground and picking up his tablet. “She was on my case this morning during our vid-call after I told her you’d stolen Ella.”
“I didn’t steal her.”
“Did you or did you not throw her over your shoulder and run to an elevator?” Venom asked, peering at him over his tablet.
Raze exhaled roughly. “Okay, so, yes, technically I stole her, but she chose to stay with me so it’s not kidnapping.”
“Sure, technically,” Venom agreed dryly. Looking down at his tablet, he asked, “Everything is okay with you and Swift? And you and Vicious? Orion?”
“Mostly,” Raze said, not really sure how things would shake out with Vicious and Orion. “I’m meeting with the general and admiral later. Whatever punishment they throw down, I’ll take without complaint.”
“And Swift?”
“We worked it out. We’re good.” He glanced up at the door as someone knocked. “Enter.”
Sporting a shiner and a bruise on his jaw, Pierce stepped into the office and shut the door behind him. He didn’t bother taking a seat. “I wanted to come by and apologize for the mess yesterday. None of it was Ella’s fault.”
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to,” Raze replied a bit testily. “You should have been more careful with her. You know what the men are like when it’s Grab day. They’re animals. You can’t parade a woman around in their areas without something bad happening.”
“You’re absolutely right,” Pierce agreed. “I was stupid to think we could have a nice lunch together and show her some of the ship.”
“She’s in my quarters if you want to speak with her,” Raze offered. “She was resting when I left. The last couple of days have been difficult for her. She may not want company.”
“I’ll go after lunch,” Pierce decided. “If she wants to see me, I won’t stay long.”
“Talk to her about her shelter. She’s worried about those kids she’s trying to save. When we picked her up, we interrupted her work with them. I told her to find a way to make the shelter useful to us.”
“I have some ideas,” Pierce replied. “With the elections coming up and our new phase of operations down on the planet’s surface starting, we need more goodwill down there. Shelters might be a good first step. Ella could be useful to us as a sort of ambassador.”
Raze frowned with suspicion. “Why do I get the feeling that Torment had that as an ulterior motive the night we stopped that convoy?”
