Forbidden First Times: A Contemporary Romance Collection

by Sofia T Summers

  “You wanted to move in with us?”

  “Please just go.”

  “Answer the question.”

  I slowly closed the door again and glanced at him.

  “You wanted to?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you never stopped loving me?”

  “No, but it doesn’t matter, because you made your choice. And I will not be satisfied with being someone’s second choice, not even yours. Not again. I’m better than that, and I deserve better than that,” I told him bitterly.

  “I never said you weren’t good enough to be with me,” he muttered.

  “You didn’t have to say it, your actions did.”

  “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

  “Get out,” I said calmly and reopened the door.

  “So that’s it? You’re throwing it all away.”

  “You’re the one who threw it all away for some crack whore.”

  “That crack whore is the mother of my child.”

  “I don’t care! I was more a mother to Amelia than she ever was!” I exclaimed. “Now get out!”

  “Hollie-”

  “Get out, Chris! Right now, before I call security to take you out. I don’t ever want you to step foot in this office again.”

  “You want me to leave?”

  “Yes.”

  For once, he didn’t argue or protest. He simply nodded and left my office.

  I slammed the door angrily and pressed my back against it. Tears spilled down my cheeks as I slid down onto the ground and sobbed. My chest burned with every ragged breath I took.

  Truth be told, I didn’t want him to leave. I just wanted to see if he would really leave, instead of fighting for who he loved. Clearly, he didn’t love me as much as I thought he did.

  That hurt me even more than his accusations.

  But he made his choice, and now I had to make mine.

  25

  Chris

  Saturday

  The pancakes sizzled in the pan, and I flipped them over with the spatula, the sweet aroma filling up the kitchen. I glanced over at Amelia, who sat quietly at the breakfast table and I cocked my head. She was quieter than usual, tracing invisible lines on the wooden table.

  It had been a week since Sherry moved back in, and it was strange to have her back in our lives, but I wanted to give it a chance. She still slept in the guest room, and that wasn't going to change any time soon. I felt nothing for her any longer, but I wanted Amelia to know her mom. I finished the pancakes and brought the plate to the table, and Amelia glanced at it with very little interest.

  “I hope you’re hungry,” I tried to sound cheerful, but my voice betrayed me.

  Even though I was making breakfast for my family, it wasn’t the family I had expected. Sherry’s seat was empty, and I wasn’t sure where she was. She couldn’t possibly still be asleep, could she? It was after eight and she hadn’t come out of her room yet.

  “She’s still in her room if you’re wondering, Daddy,” Amelia muttered as she grabbed a pancake and plopped it down on her plate. She reached for the syrup and made larges swirls on the pancake.

  I placed my hand on her head and pursed my lips. “I’ve got some fresh berries if you want to add them?” I suggested as I walked to the fridge.

  “Sure,” she mumbled.

  I took out the small bag of fresh mixed berries from the fridge and walked over to the table again. I placed the bag on the table in front of Amelia, but she didn’t look at me.

  “What’s wrong, baby?”

  She shrugged and grabbed a hand-full from the bag.

  “Come on. You can talk to me.”

  Amelia glanced at me and sighed. “I miss Hunter and Hollie.”

  An ache erupted in my chest and I glanced my hand over hers, resting on the table. “I miss them too, baby.”

  “Why did they go away?” she asked.

  “Hollie thought that it would be better if they didn’t come here anymore. They wanted to give you a bit of time with your mom,” I explained.

  “You decided that,” she pointed out.

  “Why do you say that?” I asked.

  “Hollie wouldn’t just leave. She loves you, Daddy. I could tell,” Amelia answered. “Now she’s gone because of Sherry.”

  I pursed my lips and cocked my head when Amelia referred to her mother as Sherry, and I wondered what was going on between the two of them. They had the whole week to spend time together, but somehow, I feared that things weren’t going as well as I had hoped.

  “Will Hollie and Hunter ever come back?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, honey.”

  “Can’t you call her? Please?” she pouted.

  “I can’t do that.”

  “Why not? What did you say to her?”

  “It’s complicated, okay.”

  “Don’t you love her?”

  I stared at her for a second and lowered my gaze. “I do.”

  “Then call her, Daddy.”

  A lump appeared in my throat as I stood up and touched her shoulder. “Eat your breakfast.”

  After Amelia was done, she retreated to the office/playroom and I began to clean up the kitchen. While I washed the dishes, I heard footsteps and saw Sherry stagger into the kitchen.

  “Morning,” I said stiffly.

  Sherry didn’t answer me, she simply sat down at the table, grabbed a plate and ate in silence. A strange feeling of discomfort clawed its way up my spine as I watched her like a hawk, while I pretended to wash the dishes. After she took a few more bites, she stood from the table, placed the plate on the counter next to me and left the kitchen. My jaw clenched as I grew agitated and angry, but before I could completely dry my hands to go after her, I heard the front door unlock and open.

  I tossed the cloth to the side and walked towards the hallway. “Lucinda?” I asked.

  “Chris, hey.”

  “What are you doing here? Today is your day off,” I stated.

  “I need to talk to you,” Lucinda answered, and glanced around her. “Privately.”

  “Okay,” I said slowly and followed Lucinda to the living area.

  “Is she in her room?” Lucinda asked.

  “Amelia or Sherry?” I asked.

  “Both.”

  “Good, because I don’t want either of them to hear us talking,” Lucinda answered.

  “What’s going on, Lucinda?” I asked.

  “Chris, I mean this with the utmost respect, but you’re the biggest fool I had ever seen in my entire life.”

  “Excuse me?” I gasped.

  “You heard me. You’re being an idiot.”

  “Wow, don’t sugarcoat it, Lucinda,” I muttered.

  “Sherry spends most of the day ignoring Amelia, not even speaking a single word to her. When Amelia talks to her, she answers with one or two-word answers. She’s not at all interested in getting to know her daughter. She just wants a place to crash,” Lucinda told me.

  “Now, hold on a second-”

  “Are you really that blind that you’re going to defend her?” she asked.

  I was taken aback by her accusing tone and took a step back.

  “There’s also something else that I’ve noticed,” Lucinda said, her voice softer than usual.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “I’ve noticed some things have gone missing lately.”

  “Missing how?” I asked.

  Lucinda frowned and looked at me, as though I was a fucking idiot. “Sherry isn’t as clean as she claims to be.”

  “She’s using again?” I asked and Lucinda nodded. “Have you seen her using?”

  “Chris, don’t be an idiot. She spends all day walking around in a daze, not giving a shit about Amelia. As I said, she’s just using you. She’s stealing from you to support her habit and lying to you in the process.”

  “I’ll deal with her, right now,” I said angrily. “She’s used me for long enough. Why the fuck didn’t I see it?”

&n
bsp; “You had your head up your ass because you feel guilty about what you did to Hollie,” Lucinda stated.

  “How did you even know about that?” I scoffed.

  “Amelia told me, and she’s pretty upset that Hollie and Hunter won’t be coming around here anymore.”

  “Believe me, me too,” I muttered and ran my fingers through my hair.

  “You need to fix this, Chris,” she said to me, in all seriousness. “Not just the situation with Sherry, but with Hollie as well. You should make up with her. They make you happy, she and Hunter. I haven’t seen you happier than when you were with them. Even Amelia was at her happiest. You’re screwing up big time if you don’t fix this.”

  “I know. I can’t stop thinking about what I said to her,” I sighed. “She told me that she didn’t want to be around since Sherry was back in our lives. She didn’t want to interfere with Amelia spending time with her mother.”

  “Hollie is a wonderful person, Chris, and she just wanted what was best for Amelia. She didn’t know that Sherry wasn’t even close to being a decent mother. Hollie was just doing the selfless thing,” Lucinda pointed out. “And she loves you. Any moron could see it.”

  “I’m the moron then. I said some pretty horrible things to her, Lucinda,” I sighed. “I’m not even sure that she’ll ever want to speak to me.”

  “What was the last thing you said to her?”

  “I accused her of having a thing for our boss.”

  “Who, George?” she asked in disgust. “Please, he’s not her type. Besides, she deserves to be with someone who makes her happy too.”

  “That’s what she said,” I nodded. “Then she told me to go. And I did.”

  “You really are clueless.”

  “What?” I exclaimed.

  “When a woman tells you that she wants you to leave, it’s clearly a test.”

  “A test of what?” I was seriously confused. I always thought that if a woman told me to leave, I should leave right away.

  “To see if you really care about her. The more she urges you to go, the more you have to stay.”

  I sighed and shook my head. “Women are so confusing.”

  “And you men are so clueless,” Lucinda scoffed.

  “Thanks for the advice,” I said to her, feeling a whole lot better than I did a little while ago.

  “You’re welcome. I just hope you follow it this time. It’d be a crying shame if you let a woman like Hollie, and a great kid like Hunter slip through your fingers because of your own stupidity and arrogance.”

  I sighed slowly and cocked my head. “As always, it was such a pleasure talking with you, Lucinda.”

  “Likewise,” she retorted.

  I left the living room and headed up the stairs to the guest room where Sherry slept. I opened the door and froze on the spot. Sherry was crouched beside the bed, with a mirror on the bed, sniffing lines of coke.

  “Is this what you call clean, Sherry?” I exclaimed.

  She scrambled to her feet and glanced at me, wiping the white powder from under her nose.

  “Or was it just another lie? Another manipulative move to get me to open my home up to you, just so that you can take advantage of me?” I asked, the anger building up inside me.

  She shrugged her shoulders but didn’t utter a word.

  “You need help, Sherry.”

  “I’m fine,” she eventually said.

  “No, you’re not fine. You have a problem,” I pointed out. “I can’t believe you brought this into my home. Amelia’s room is right next door.”

  “Would you please stop talking? You’re ruining my buzz,” she muttered. “You’ve always ruined my buzz.”

  “I’m ruining your buzz? Are you fuckin’ serious right now?” I exclaimed.

  “Wow, language, Chris. There are kids in the house.”

  “Get out of my house, Sherry.”

  “What?”

  “You hear me. Get the hell out of my house. You’re not welcome here, ever again.”

  Sherry raised her eyebrows at me and scoffed. I watched as she staggered to her suitcase in the corner, which hadn’t even been unpacked yet, and grabbed its handle.

  “Fine. I don’t need you anyway,” she muttered and dragged her suitcase behind her as she left the room.

  She stomped down the stairs and left the house, slamming the door behind her.

  I ran my fingers through my hair and exhaled slowly.

  “Daddy?”

  I spun around and saw Amelia standing in the hallway. She looked so small standing in the hallway, holding her purple starfish against her chest. I immediately crouched down on the floor and opened my arms. She ran towards me and fell into my embrace. I was surprised when she burst into tears and cried in my arms, but of course, she had overheard my argument with Sherry. Amelia, although she was headstrong and confident, didn’t like it when people argued, and would hide away whenever Sherry and I used to fight before.

  “I’m so sorry, baby,” I whispered in her ear. “I promised you that I would never subject you to someone like her again, and I promise you now that I won’t ever let her come near us again. She’s not good for us, and we’re better off without her in our lives. I know she’s your mom, but-”

  Amelia mumbled something softly, but I couldn’t make out what it was.

  “What was that, honey?” I asked and she glanced up at me.

  “She was never really my mom to begin with, Daddy.”

  I cradled her face with both my hands and wiped the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs. “I will always be here, Amelia, I promise you that, okay?”

  Amelia nodded quietly.

  “We’re going to do better because you know why? We deserve better.”

  Amelia nodded again and rested her head on my shoulder.

  “We deserve better, baby,” I whispered to her, and slowly rocked her in my arms.

  26

  Hollie

  Sunday

  Once again, I was a horrible person, and even though Melanie tried to be supportive, I could see it on her face that she thought so too, even though she would never admit it openly.

  We were seated on the patio, watching Hunter as he played with his construction toys in the sandbox.

  “So his wife is a drug addict?” Melanie asked me.

  “Ex-wife, apparently.”

  “That’s crazy. And she just chose drugs instead of him and her daughter. That’s cold but expected of an addict. They are only interested in their next fix, and screw the rest.”

  I lowered my gaze and pursed my lips.

  “Maybe he was really trying to get her back on her feet. Being clean for the first time is a really big deal, and he was just trying to help her.”

  “By letting her stay with him, in his house?”

  “You mean the house you almost lived in?”

  “It’s not about that, Mel,” I sighed.

  “Then what is it about?” Melanie asked. “You were jealous and hurt when you found out because you wanted it to be you who was living in that house, not his wife.”

  “Ex-wife,” I corrected her.

  “I think you’re being stupid.”

  “Thank you for your honesty.”

  “You know that’s how I roll,” she shrugged. “You were so happy with him, so you have to give it another chance, Hollie.”

  “I have no more chances to give,” I admitted, feeling exhausted right into my soul.

  “And maybe you’ve got it all wrong, and he was just trying to help his wife-”

  “Ex-wife,” I snapped.

  Melanie’s eyes widened and she held her hands up. “All I am saying is that maybe he’s not such an asshole. Maybe he’s really just a nice guy and trying to help.”

  “Either way, I don’t want to interfere with Amelia and Sherry’s relationship. They’re making up for the lost time, spending mother-daughter time together, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. Every girl deserves to know her mother and have a relationship
with her.”

  “Even if she’s a crack whore?” Melanie retorted.

  “I guess,” I shrugged and took a sip of wine.

  “Look, you’ve always had a kind heart, doing things for other people, and thinking of yourself last, but don’t you think you’re being a little silly?” she asked me and flicked her long blonde hair over her shoulder.

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s kind of you to say that you want Amelia to know her mother and that you don’t want to get in the way of that, but do you really want to sacrifice everything with Chris because of it?”

  “I’m not the only one who was silly, okay,” I scoffed and tucked my hair behind my ears. “You’re forgetting that Chris pretty much accused me of wanting to be with our boss, George, who is not my type at all. He was so creepy though.”

  “Ew,” Melanie shivered, but then rolled her eyes. “Men are stupid and say stupid things when they are jealous.”

  “That doesn’t excuse him for what he said to me,” I muttered and lowered my gaze.

  “I know, Hollie, but can’t you two work it out. You were so great together.”

  “Says the one who was practically ready to bash his skull in if he came anywhere near me,” I scoffed.

  “Yeah, well, that was before. I saw how happy he made you, and I want you to have that happiness forever,” Melanie pointed out.

  I cocked my head and a grateful smile formed on my lips. “You’re so sweet.”

  “Yeah, like maple syrup.”

  A knock sounded coming from the front door and I frowned at Mel.

  “That was fast,” Mel muttered. “Who’s paying this time?”

  “I’ll get it. You can get the next one.”

  “Don’t forget to tip the poor guy. Pizza delivery guys are the forgotten and unsung heroes of the modern world,” Melanie called out as I stepped into the house.

  I let out a chuckle, but couldn’t help but be deeply affected by Melanie’s words. Had I acted too rashly, not giving Chris the benefit of the doubt? Or had I expected too much of Chris?

  I grabbed my wallet from my handbag and walked to the front door. I opened the door and without looking, I asked, “How much is it?”

  “Hey, Hollie.”

  I glanced up, and my eyes widened. “Chris…”