Forbidden First Times: A Contemporary Romance Collection

by Sofia T Summers

“Mmm, why does that not surprise me?” Laird teased. “If you were my wife, you would have nice clothing. I’d want you to be able to buy whatever you wanted, and you’d need nice things so that you could accompany me to important dinners and parties. Besides, we should get you a dress for the wedding anyway. I should’ve thought of this whole thing sooner.”

  “I suppose.”

  “Now, I could take you to a boutique and say the sky’s the limit, have you try on fancy outfits, but you wouldn’t like that, would you?” Laird asked me.

  “You know me,” I admitted. I wouldn’t like that at all.

  “Then how about this.” Laird pulled the car into a parking lot and I realized that we were at a mall. “There are plenty of stores in here, some higher end than others. I’ll give you my credit card and a budget, and you’re going to pick out some nice outfits that you like, that you’re comfortable with, and you have to stay under budget. Would that help you to feel more comfortable?”

  I mulled that over. I was going to get a new wardrobe whether I wanted it or not, that much was clear to me. Or maybe not an entirely new wardrobe, but some new pieces that I could wear on the trip and with Liam so that I looked like I was a woman who was married to a man who had money to spare. But Laird was right, if he took me to some fancy boutique and spent thousands and thousands of dollars on me, I would be upset. I’d feel… halfway between like I was taking advantage of him and being used like a doll.

  This way, though, with a budget and allowed to go to what stores I wanted… that gave me some more autonomy and independence. “How big would my budget be?”

  “Five thousand?” Laird ventured.

  I glared at him. No way. How could I possibly spend five thousand dollars on clothes? Where would I even begin?

  Laird chuckled. “Four thousand? Three thousand?”

  I kept my glare up, since that seemed to work so well.

  “Two thousand five hundred,” Laird said. “That’s my final offer.” His voice got firm, and I could imagine this was how he sounded in the boardroom, but it wasn’t harsh. It didn’t make me feel threatened. In fact that tone of voice made me shiver with heat. The tone of soft but firm command, the fact that I knew he wasn’t budging, the total self-confidence he was exuding… it was wildly attractive.

  “Fine,” I said, after I swallowed to try and get my voice back. There was no reason for Laird to know that I was attracted to him using that tone with me. Just like there was no reason for him to know that I found him unbearably handsome and had since I’d first seen him. That would be unprofessional for our relationship.

  I got out of the car as Laird did the same on his side. Two thousand, five hundred dollars, all for me to spend. How was I going to possibly use it all on clothes? I supposed I would have to find out.

  12

  Laird

  Watching Trudie shop was a lot more fun than I could have anticipated.

  I enjoyed shopping for a good outfit myself, but I’d found that shopping with others could be tedious. People were often impressed by price and would go for the more expensive item, even if it didn’t look as good, because they wanted to brag about how much their new suit had cost them. Or they would buy two items of clothing that didn’t go well together or buy something that didn’t flatter them just because it was designer. They’d get upset by sizing (men always thought their cup size was bigger than it was, and the women would get upset thinking they were fat when they weren’t). They’d shop after what was in vogue, trying to keep up with trends, and they’d take forever to choose things.

  Trudie was entirely different.

  She was timid, at first, stepping into the stores like a deer moving out into a clearing in the woods and unsure if there was a hunter around or not. She approached the clothing racks like they might bite her. But as time went on, she began to grow more confident, perusing the racks with a keen eye.

  “I’m shocked you didn’t head right for the sales racks,” I noted.

  Trudie rolled her eyes. “Like you’d let me ever hear the end of it if I did.”

  “Oh, I’d let you hear the end of it. After a few months had passed and I found something new to rib you about.”

  “I don’t know why I put up with you. Why did I agree to this, again? So that I could get annoyed all the time?”

  “Aww, I’m not annoying, I’m adorable. I’ve been told so many times.”

  “Obviously you were told that by delusional people who were dropped on their heads as kids.”

  “You’re just such a sweet person,” I said, grinning wildly as I followed her out of this shop and into another one. Trudie didn’t seem to know exactly what she was looking for, and was giving everything a look over to see what she liked best and then come back to that. “I don’t know why you’re not the most popular person in town with all these lovely things you say.”

  “I’ll have you know that I’m a ray of absolute sunshine,” Trudie replied, poking her head into another store and then deciding it wasn’t for her. “To people who deserve it.”

  “Ouch, you wound me. Tell me.” I hooked my arm around hers. “What can I do to deserve sweet looks from you and fewer acidic comments?”

  Trudie glared at me, but there was no real heat behind it, no actual anger. “Stop starting arguments.”

  “I don’t start anything!” I faked a dramatic gasp. “I merely made an observation, love, you’re the one who decided it was an opening volley.”

  “Your innocent act doesn’t cut it. Stick to magazine running and don’t become an actor.”

  I laughed, as Trudie looked into another store, got a satisfied air about her, and went inside. I followed, watching as she perused the racks again and then nodded to herself. Apparently, she had found the store she liked best.

  “Here, do something useful,” she said, putting some clothes in my arms. “Hold these.”

  I snorted but held the clothes for her, watching as she moved through the racks. She didn’t seem to care about the size, although she would look carefully at the price. There was a slight hesitation to her, like she was still unsure if she was even legally allowed to be doing this, but she seemed to be a person who knew her taste and knew what looked good on her.

  “You know that most people find this fun, right?” I said. “They find shopping fun. They do this for laughs.”

  “I’m not most people,” Trudie replied, her voice unexpectedly soft.

  No, you’re not, I found myself wanting to say in reply. The words stuck in my throat. They were far too close to revealing the dangerous emotions that I felt whenever I was with her, whenever I looked at her.

  “Good, if you were most people you would’ve learned not to put up with me by now,” I teased.

  “Maybe I’m just more determined than most people,” Trudie replied, selecting another outfit and putting it in my arms. “Or maybe I’m just better at dealing with your bullshit.”

  “Maybe you just don’t know when to quit,” I pointed out.

  Trudie gave me this fond, exasperated look, and I saw someone else who was shopping nearby, an older woman, give us a smile as she walked past. I felt pride well up in my chest. We were doing well enough that this woman thought we were a couple, and a cute one at that. That was how it should be. Some of the tension went out of me—we could do this.

  I held the clothes for Trudie as she tried them on. She seemed to favor a lot of blues and greens. They went well with her skin, her eyes, and her hair, but more than that, I wondered why those were the colors that she liked the most. Trudie was this odd combination of being a very vibrant person but also shy and withdrawn, so I would’ve expected her to go with either reds and pinks, or with soft muted neutrals. Blue and green were such peaceful colors.

  “What do you think?” she would ask after trying on each item. She was picking a good variety, not just skirts or dresses or pants, but combinations so that she really did look like my wife who had a full wardrobe at home.

  I was starting to th
ink that Trudie could just wear a trash bag and she’d still look good. “Amazing,” I would tell her.

  “You’re saying that to everything,” she told me at one point, a hand on her hip. “That’s not very helpful, you know.”

  “It’s not?” I grinned at her. “I can’t help it if you just look good in everything. That’s hardly my fault.”

  Trudie blushed, looking at herself in the mirror at the end of the dressing room hall. “You have to let me know if I’m picking out things that are inappropriate for the trip,” she warned me. “I don’t want to get there and look ridiculous.”

  “You’re doing just fine,” I assured her. She had a good variety of clothes picked out and she looked lovely in all of them.

  She did try on a few things that she didn’t let me see. “What, a girl can’t have a few surprises?” she said when I mock-complained about it.

  Then she finally walked out in the dress that she said she wanted to wear tonight.

  I swallowed, my throat dry. It was a dark blue, lacy thing that hugged her body, capped sleeves and a back that was all lace, showing a tantalizing look at all the skin underneath, completed the look.

  “What do you think?” Trudie asked. “I know my hair and makeup aren’t done, but…”

  “No, you look fantastic,” I assured her. “Seriously.”

  If I had seen her looking like this at a charity function or a bar, I never would’ve approached her. I would’ve assumed right away that this woman was too sophisticated, too confident, for the likes of me. I would’ve thought that I would stumble over my words and mess things up for sure, and so I wouldn’t have even tried.

  But now I knew Trudie. I knew that she was shy and struggled a bit with her self-esteem. I knew that she was sassy and had an adorable giggle and that she was a hard worker. I wasn’t intimidated by her, at least not so much that I couldn’t talk to her.

  God help me, though, I still didn’t have the bloody balls to tell her how much I wanted her in that moment.

  Liam could’ve. If Liam had seen a woman he was attracted to in a dress like that he would’ve told her right away, no questions asked. But then again, Liam wasn’t in a situation where he was pretending to be married to the woman. What if I made Trudie uncomfortable? What if she didn’t want that, didn’t like me that way, and now we were stuck with each other?

  I wanted nothing more than to slide my hands over her body in that lace, to tease her, to shove her back into the dressing room and make her moan my name. But I couldn’t. I absolutely couldn’t.

  “You sure?” Trudie asked. “Because you’ve got a weird look on your face.”

  “Joke’s on you, love, I always have a weird look on my face. You’re going to have to be more specific.”

  Trudie laughed, and I saw the attendant for the dressing rooms look up from where she was doing some sorting, and she smiled at us before going back to her work. It filled me with pleasure again, that warm focused feeling in my stomach, to know that people liked us as a couple.

  Because—because it meant we would pass, to my family. That was all. No other reason, or so I told myself sternly over and over.

  “Seriously,” I told her, “you look fuckin’ fantastic. I think it’s perfect. Liam’s going to be driving himself nuts wondering how the hell I landed a girl like you when I can never get up the courage to ask someone out.”

  “I’ll tell him that I took pity on you,” Trudie replied with a smile.

  “He’ll believe that, is the thing,” I pointed out.

  Trudie laughed.

  Once she had all of the items she wanted and returned the ones that she didn’t want, Trudie carefully examined all of the price tags and then grinned up at me triumphantly. “The total comes to one thousand, two hundred and fifty dollars.”

  I felt myself fucking melting inside as she wiggled her eyebrows, clearly pleased beyond all belief at herself for managing that.

  “You sure you don’t need anything else?” I asked.

  Trudie put on a thoughtful face, tilting her head to the side. “Y’know, I sure could do with a new Lamborghini right about now, the old one is from 2005 and I think it’s time I traded it in.”

  “Ah ha ha, very funny, you’re just a laugh riot.”

  “You love it,” Trudie shot back, without a second’s pause.

  “I suppose it has some charm to it,” I conceded, instead of saying you’re right, I absolutely love it, don’t ever stop.

  God dammit, I was so bloody soft for her. How did she even manage it?

  We bought her things, which included some new shoes and a new purse as well, and then I took it back with me to my condo. “I don’t have any room for it where I’m staying,” Trudie admitted, starting to sound soft and withdrawn again.

  “Hey, don’t even worry about it, I’ve got plenty of room.” We brought her clothes in and stuck them in the empty closet in my guest bedroom. I had never used that bedroom—I never had guests over.

  “Liam’s going to meet us here soon,” I warned her as I went into the kitchen to get myself some water, feeling out of place. I knew it was weird, to feel out of place in my own home, but I had never been aware, before, of just how fucking nice it was.

  Trudie was living… well, somewhere. Somewhere she obviously felt so ashamed about that she didn’t want to show it to me or let me near it. I worried that she would be intimidated by where I was now. I hadn’t ever felt that way before—but then I’d never been confronted before by someone who was so very much from a different place in the world than I was.

  “Oh no, really?”

  I froze. “…yes?”

  Trudie emerged from—when had she gone into my bedroom? “I’m sorry, I meant, oh, no, really, to… well, your house, this place, did it not occur to you that—look around you!”

  I looked around. My place was very nicely decorated, thank you. I had lots of art up from all of my travels, I had photographs of my family, I had a few bookshelves with the books I liked to read on them. Sure, maybe the color scheme could use some work, I’d been told a few times that I had too many dark colors at play, but whatever. Who the bloody hell cared about that kind of thing?

  “Looks fine to me,” I said.

  Trudie shook her head. “There is nothing in here that says two people are living here, Laird. There’s only one toothbrush in the bathroom. The closet is only full of men’s clothes. All the stuff here is yours. There’s no photographs of the two of us, there’s no books or art of mine, nothing!”

  …oh fuck. She was right. I hadn’t thought about that. I doubted Liam was going to go through my bloody bathroom and see the lack of two toothbrushes, but Trudie was right about the things like the art and the books. These all screamed ‘me’ at the top of their lungs. There was nothing about that had Trudie’s energy, her presence, her taste.

  I had never seen her read a book but then, I’d never seen her in a situation where she’d be reading a book. I had taken her to the art museums, though, and I knew what she liked, and that was Native American and Central American art. None of which was present here. It was all my antiquities stuff from Rome and Greece, my Japanese wall prints and my copies of Renoir that I’d gotten at the museum when they did a special exhibit.

  “You’re right,” I said, blowing out a breath. “Good catch. We’ll have him and his wife meet us at the museum then—I’ll text him.”

  Trudie stared at me. “That’s—that’s it?”

  I looked at her. “Well, yes. We can’t go out and buy a bunch of stuff to rearrange my house. I mean, we could, sure, but we don’t have that kind of time right now.” I grinned. “Maybe if we had another couple of hours. Besides, I don’t feel up to moving my couch around, do you?”

  Trudie gave a small laugh and then tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “I just… sorry. I’m used to people who don’t really do well when plans are changed or… mistakes are pointed out to them.”

  “Well, I’m not one of those people. If I couldn’t
handle people pointing out my mistakes I wouldn’t be a very good company owner, would I? And plans change all the time. It’s just how life works.” I winked at her. “Do whatever you want to do to get yourself ready, I’ll talk to Liam. It’s not a problem at all.”

  I made a mental note to do some shopping with her at a later date for household supplies—things she’d like to decorate the place with. Okay, sure, there wasn’t strictly a need to do that. I could find ways to avoid people coming over to my condo. But what if we couldn’t avoid it? Wouldn’t it just be easier to have all of this ready?

  And then you could have it ready in case this became real, the bloody traitorous voice at the back of my mind whispered. I tried to ignore that voice. It was going to bring me nothing but trouble. All of this… this shopping together, her making me hold things for her while she tried clothes on, teasing each other, it felt extremely domestic and natural. Like we were falling together, without even having to think about it, just two puzzle pieces finding their place.

  Trudie looked relieved, and I wondered again what kind of people had been in her life, and where she had been living, to make her so worried about how I would react to a hiccup like this. I didn’t know, of course, and I knew that I shouldn’t pry—but I was also dying of curiosity, if only so that I could find whoever these buggers were and go after them for making her so skittish. There was a bright, hilarious, shining person in Trudie, and that person kept retreating because of whatever her scars were, whatever those fears were. I wanted to hurt the people who had put them there.

  Liam, luckily, was a laidback guy and agreed to meet us at the restaurant. I put on my suit and tried not to choke on my own spit when Trudie emerged. Her dress looked just as lovely on her the second time I saw her in it as she had the first time, and now her hair was done up and some light makeup was applied.

  “No jewelry?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “I didn’t get any. That would’ve taken us way too long at the mall.”

  “You look lovely without it,” I assured her. “But if you want to get any, just say the word.”