Forbidden First Times: A Contemporary Romance Collection

by Sofia T Summers

  “Sure,” I said. “But this semester is crazy,” I told her. “I don’t know that I can afford to really take any time off.”

  Gina pursed her lips. “I don’t understand what’s so different about this semester,” she said. “I mean, if you’re anything like me, you’re dying for some time off, right?”

  I didn’t answer.

  “Will, come on,” Gina said, sounding more like a whiny teen than a fellow professor. “A nice long flight in first class, a hotel with a pool. We’ll pick a conference somewhere warm, like Florida or Arizona,” she continued, then flashed me a wicked grin. “And maybe even fib about the dates so we can stay an extra day or two. We don’t have to submit all of our receipts for reimbursement, you know,” she added, raising an eyebrow at me. “I bet no one would bat an eye.”

  I frowned at her.

  “I don’t think I can take the time off,” I said. “Especially not for what would basically amount to a vacation.”

  “Oh, you’re no fun, Will,” Gina purred, still pouting. “What do I have to do here? We’ve had fun before. I’ll make absolutely sure that we have fun again.”

  I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I was too tired, too fucking tired for this conversation.

  “Look,” I said sharply. “I know you’re implying something here, and I don’t like it. You’re a great academic and I respect you as a colleague, but there’s no way that anything is going to happen between us. I don’t date – or fool around – on campus, understand?”

  Gina’s smile faded and she glared at me as she got to her feet, stalking out of my office and slamming the door behind her.

  As soon as she was gone, I groaned. I was relieved that I’d finally come out and said something to Gina, but it had been a lie.

  The truth was, I desperately wanted to date – and fool around – on campus.

  Just, not with her.

  My mind was fixed on Eden Cooper, and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to relax until I had her and made her mine.

  13

  Eden – Thursday

  It sounded crazy, even to me, but I felt like I was no longer living in the real world. Something had changed – something invisible and powerful, like a ghost or a higher power – and now, my life would never be the same.

  Maybe I was being dramatic and naïve – a typical twenty-one-year-old.

  But I didn’t think so. And when I looked around me, at the other students my age, I no longer felt like such an outcast. It wasn’t that they’d become more accepting because, spoiler alert: they hadn’t.

  But I had become more accepting of myself.

  And it was all thanks to Professor Marks. I wondered if he’d ignore me again.

  I wondered if I’d be desperate enough to chase him down again like I’d done before. Thinking about it should have made me feel horrified and embarrassed, but all I could think about was the way he’d said my name, the way he’d touched my arm.

  I should have been thinking about my tech core seminar and the best way to get my grade up, but truthfully that matter had slipped from my mind as soon as I’d left the classroom. I’ll get it together, I told myself.

  I just need a little time – that’s all.

  That morning, I woke up a long time before my alarm went off. I’d fallen asleep with the window open and my room was freezing cold – something that didn’t exactly incentivize me to slide out from under the covers and greet the world. I groaned and reached for my phone, then pulled the blankets up until they were nearly covering my face. As I mindlessly scrolled through Instagram and Facebook, I yawned and rubbed my eyes. I’d slept for almost ten hours, and I was still exhausted. My whole body ached, and for a moment I wondered if I was getting sick.

  I wasn’t, though – I had to be just worn out from all of the excitement that had happened in my life as of late.

  When I dragged myself out of bed, I pulled on my favorite hoodie and a pair of black jeans. The day outside was bright and cold but at least it wasn’t snowing, and I pulled on a pair of gray faux-leather boots to complete my outfit.

  The sound of a plate crashing into the sink made me jump and bleat in surprise. As quickly as I could, I fixed my hair into a low bun and darted out of my room and into the kitchen.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  Petra whirled around. Her mouth was pressed in a thin line and she glared at me.

  “Sorry,” she muttered after a second. “I just woke up in a really bad mood.”

  I looked at her with concern. She wasn’t dressed – she was still clad in her pajama shorts, t-shirt, and flowery pink cotton robe – and her hair was a mess. I was used to seeing her like this, but there was something different about her and it took me a moment to realize that her eyes were red and her face was splotchy.

  Petra opened the fridge and took out a bottle of sparkling wine.

  “You want a mimosa?”

  “Of course,” I joked. “I’ll have two.”

  Petra started to open the bottle and I shook my head. “I was kidding,” I said quickly. “Pet, we’ve got class, remember? What’s up with you?”

  She gave me a dull look, then poured sparkling wine nearly to the brim of a plastic champagne flute. When she added the orange juice, she only added enough to turn the color of the drink a vague sunset color.

  “Well, I’ll have yours for you,” she said brightly, but there was something wrong with her voice – cold and dark, like I’d never heard before.

  “What’s wrong?” I pressed. She didn’t answer and I sat down at the island in the middle of the kitchen and reached for a muffin, nervously picking it apart with my fingers.

  “Evan,” Petra huffed. “We broke up.”

  “Broke up?” I asked. “Or just had another fight?”

  Petra groaned. “Really, Eden, what’s the difference?” She asked.

  “I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that. What happened?”

  Petra downed half of her “mimosa” in one gulp – just watching her nearly made me wince – and set the cup down on the counter with such force that some of the cocktail splashed over the brim.

  “I don’t even know, isn’t that so dumb?” She turned to me and pressed her lips together. “He said that like, he likes me. But that he isn’t a relationship guy.”

  I frowned. “Men are so confusing,” I replied.

  “They’re not. They’re simpletons,” Petra said. She sighed loudly and reached for her drink, draining the rest of it in a single gulp.

  “I mean, I wouldn’t know what that means,” I said honestly. “If he likes you, why doesn’t he want to date you?”

  “Eden, don’t be so naïve,” Petra said. She looked down at her body, then crossed her arms over her narrow chest. “I think that once we slept together, he decided he didn’t like the sex, or whatever. Or maybe he just didn’t like it enough to want to commit to me.”

  I frowned. As much as I would have liked to believe something like sex wouldn’t be the determining factor in a relationship, I wasn’t that dumb – I knew better. Thinking of sex made my mind turn to Professor Marks, and the intense connection between us. With a connection like that, how could sex between us possibly be bad?

  Blushing hotly, I shoved Professor Marks out of my mind and tried to turn my focus back to my best friend.

  “He sounds like an ass,” I said. “You don’t want someone who isn’t honest with you, Petra.”

  She nodded. “I know,” she said. “It’s ... well, it’s more embarrassing than anything else.”

  I blinked. “I don’t get it,” I told her.

  “It’s like ... ugh,” Petra groaned, putting her face in her hands and shaking her head. “Like, I made such an idiot of myself mooning over him and now he doesn’t even like me, and he’s probably going to go around telling people that I’m crazy, or whatever.”

  I still wasn’t sure that I understood, but I nodded all the same. Right now, I knew that my job was to be as suppor
tive of Petra as possible, even if I didn’t get what she was going through.

  “Anyway,” Petra said, shaking her head again and fixing me with a determined look. “We should have fun today. You should skip class with me and hang out here. We’ll order sushi or something.”

  I winced. “I have my senior sem this morning,” I told her. “And then that tech class.”

  “Oh my gosh, Eden, blow it off,” Petra said.

  I shook my head. Embarrassed was how I felt when I recalled my conversation with the professor of my tech seminar – it was a class with basic freshman material, and apparently, I was perilously close to failing. As many secrets as Petra and I had shared over the years, the idea of flunking a basic core class was far too mortifying to divulge. I couldn’t even think about it myself without wanting to melt into the ground. The entire time I’d been at Oakbrook, my lowest grade had been a B-, and I’d agonized over that for weeks.

  “I really can’t,” I said. “I’m sorry. How about if we get dinner on campus or something tonight? My treat.”

  Petra frowned at me. “What, you’re worried about missing out on the chance to start at Professor Sexy?”

  My cheeks turned hot and red. “You have to stop calling him those ridiculous nicknames,” I said quickly. “What if you blurt it out in front of someone else by mistake?”

  “Then they won’t know who I’m talking about,” Petra said with a devilish smile. “That’s the point of nicknames, right?”

  I smiled weakly. “I guess,” I told her.

  “If you’re going to class, you should get going,” Petra said. She glanced at the clock on the stove. “Don’t want to be late, do you?”

  The thought of rushing into Professor Marks’s class sent a jolt of anxiety through me and I took a quick bite of my muffin before wrapping the rest in plastic wrap and sticking it in my bag.

  “You’re not coming?” I asked.

  Petra shook her head. “I might be drunk when you get home later,” she said. “Full disclosure.”

  I smiled at her. “Are you gonna be okay?”

  She nodded. “Of course,” she said. “We’re still on for dinner?”

  “If you’re not too wasted,” I quipped, and Petra snorted.

  Walking to campus by myself felt surprisingly lonely, but I hustled as quickly as I could without breaking a sweat. By the time I got to class, everyone else was there but I wasn’t quite late. Just as I slid into my seat, Professor Marks came striding in. He looked gorgeous in a tailored blazer, dark shirt, and slacks, and my mouth went dry when our eyes met.

  The hot, intense memory of our kiss flooded my mind and I bit my lip and looked out the window so I wouldn’t blush beet red.

  “Now,” Professor Marks began, and already my mind was wandering away from the subject matter and onto his gorgeous body. “Let’s begin our discussion of Mrs. Dalloway.”

  I did my best to pay attention, but it was all too much – thinking about Petra and the boy drama that she was dealing with. Thinking about Professor Marks and the predicament that we were in.

  Even thinking about my tech core seminar, and how I was supposed to manage turning my grade around.

  “Eden?”

  My head snapped up and I realized that Professor Marks – and everyone else in class – was staring at me.

  I flushed. “Sorry,” I said. “What was that?”

  Professor Marks sighed, looking deeply disappointed and I squirmed in my chair.

  “Nevermind,” he said icily, then turned to the girl who had flirted so brazenly with him the week prior. As soon as he asked her a question about Mrs. Dalloway, my attention began to wander again.

  When class was over, I walked out of the room with the others. As I was nearly in the hall, I heard Professor Marks clear his throat.

  “Eden,” he said quietly. “Would you mind staying behind a minute?”

  Furiously gnawing on my lower lip, I turned around and blinked at him.

  “Yes,” I said. “I mean, no – I wouldn’t mind at all.”

  Professor Marks gave me an odd look, and I swallowed hard as I walked back into the classroom and took a seat in front of his desk.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Sorry?” I asked. “Um, with what?”

  “With you,” he said. “You’re normally very good at contributing to our discussions in class, and today I sensed that something was on your mind.”

  I took a deep breath and got to my feet. “I’m fine,” I lied. “I just ...”

  “You just what?” Professor Marks asked. He walked closer to me, until we were standing mere inches apart from one another. “What is it, Eden?”

  The way he said my name sent a ripple of desire through my body.

  “Nothing,” I said. “I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.” And I want a hug, I thought impulsively.

  It wasn’t like I could say that, though – it would be incredibly inappropriate.

  Professor Marks, however, didn’t move away and I inhaled deeply enough to smell his cologne. The woodsy, masculine scent made me instantly calmer and I blushed happily. Without even thinking about what I was doing, I leaned into his body, leaned against him, until he wrapped an arm around me and held me tightly.

  I burrowed in closer, burying my face in his neck and sighing softly as his grip on me tightened. The steamy memory of our kiss came flying back in full technicolor and I had to bite the inside of my mouth to keep from moaning – that was how badly I wanted him in that moment. I felt excited and nervous and guilty and aroused, all at once, and I could tell that Professor Marks did, too.

  The sound of footsteps in the hall made me leap backwards, as if my skin was scalding hot just from touching him. The brief contact between us had been enough to make me feel better and my heart was thudding.

  I wanted more, damnit, and I wasn’t going to be happy until I got it.

  “Thanks,” I said softly. It was terribly inadequate, but it was all I could do – and then I darted out of the classroom before Professor Marks could reply.

  Outside, despite the sun beating down, it was freezing cold and I shivered, shoving my hands in my pockets and wishing that I’d brought my gloves or even my go-cup for a hot coffee from the student union. I stared at the science building across campus, knowing that I should go, but I couldn’t make myself do it.

  If I didn’t go to my tech core seminar, my grade would be in serious trouble.

  I knew that, deeply.

  But my body seemed to feel otherwise. My stomach was doing nervous flips inside of my body and my heart was thudding. There was no way in hell that I’d be able to go to my tech class and sit down like a normal person. I’d no doubt be twitching and vibrating the whole time, high on my contact with Professor Marks.

  Next week, I told myself as I strode off-campus in the direction of my apartment. Next week, I’ll go and pay attention and everything will be fine – I’ll even get an A, I bet I can still pull that off at this point.

  At home, Petra was curled up on the couch in boxer shorts and a t-shirt. She lifted her head when I opened the door and blinked sleepily in my direction.

  “Hey,” she said. “How’d it go?”

  I shrugged. “Fine,” I lied. “Feeling any better?”

  Petra sat up and stretched, then rubbed her eyes with both hands. She checked her watch and frowned at it, then turned up at me and smirked.

  “Did you skip your class for me?” She teased.

  “Uh huh,” I lied again, hating myself for doing it.

  “Look at you, Miss Rebellious,” Petra said in the same teasing voice. “Hey, I was thinking – let’s not go to campus for dinner tonight. Let’s do something else.”

  “Like what?” I asked her.

  “Well, you never told me about that brewpub where you went the other week, remember?”

  I frowned.

  “That bad, huh?” Petra made a face. “Ede, I know you’re not a beer person, but was it really that terrible
? They have great reviews on Yelp,” she added.

  No, I thought to myself. It’s not that they were bad, it’s that we’d go and all I could do would be to think about Professor Marks and what happened when he and I left. Or worse – we could even see him there! – and then what would I do? How on Earth could I even begin to tell you about it, when I can’t even wrap my own mind around what’s going on between the two of us!

  Petra chuckled at my silence. “Okay, then,” she said, shaking her head. “No brewpub. It’s not like Uber is super-cheap right now, anyway.” She frowned. “What about Chinese? We could go to Golden Wok, that buffet, remember?”

  I did remember – Golden Wok had been a place that Petra and I had haunted in our freshman year because it was cheap. The buffet was incredible: it had sushi and stir-fry and even a chocolate fondue fountain with fruit for dessert. Golden Wok was always filled with Oakbrook students – Petra and I had even used to joke about how they would go out of business if something happened to the college.

  But thinking about it almost made me a little sad – it made me remember, yet again, how Petra and I were growing up and moving in different directions.

  “I remember,” I said slowly. I peeled off my coat and sat on the edge of the couch. “You’re not worried about running into Evan?”

  Petra smirked. “Let him see me,” she said, tossing her hair. I had to admit that maybe a day of lounging around with mimosas had done her well – she looked as pretty and well-rested as I’d ever seen her. Looking at her now, I realized for the first time in my life that I was no longer jealous of Petra.

  Although we’d been best friends from pretty much the immediate start, I couldn’t have ignored the stark differences between us. Petra was blonde and blue-eyed, with a slim, athletic build that made her look like a dancer. She was bubbly and witty and perky and fun – basically everything that I wasn’t. I’d spent so much time of our friendship wondering why she even wanted to be close to me.

  I was very different from her – short and stocky (my mom had always tried to soften that by saying that I was a real woman, with curves) and plain brown hair and brown eyes. Shy and anxious, nerdy and bookish.