Equation for Love

by Sutherland, Fae

  It was always intriguing to watch Skye strip. Liam wondered if he was as conscientious when he was alone as he was with an audience. Skye neatly folded his shirt over the back of a chair, followed by his belt if he wore one--today he didn't; another pair of cute, skinny suspenders instead--and his jeans. Socks got tucked into shoes, underwear hidden away under the rest ofhis clothes like he was embarrassed.

  It said a lot about Skye in general, who he was. Neat, organized, methodical, as well as shy and still a good bit self-conscious. Not as much as the night Liam had met him, though, most certainly.

  Liam had at first wanted to shake up Skye's neatly organized way of living, rumple his hair and toss his clothes to the floor and pull himout of his little box. But Liam was learning Skye wasn't in a box--this was simply who he was. Liamliked who he was, more than he'd expected to.

  The liking, though, was causing a lot of his problems. He liked Skye way too much. And after their date--whichLiamhad knownwould be botha bad idea and a brilliant one--the blurring of the line between client and...more was more pronounced than ever for Liam. And if it was becoming a problem for Liam, he knew it was probablytentimes worse for Skye.

  He needed to re-draw that line. He was a tutor. Skye was a client. Nothing more, damn it.

  "Good. Now, today's lessonis inlettinggo."

  "Ofwhat?"

  Liam smiled. "Everything. You spend a lot of time clinging to things, to situations, to habits. To people, even. We all do. Sometimes it's good to learn to let go. To learn that you can; that it's safe to. Do you remember our first night?"

  Skye's eyes went dark and slightly hooded, as he nodded. "Ofcourse."

  Liam's lips twitched. He liked knowing Skye was, right this moment, reliving bits of that night in his mind. He wondered which parts stood out to his lover. "And when I told you to hold onto the headboard and not let

  go?"Skye nodded again, breath going a little shallow. "Yes,"he murmured.

  "Tonight, we're going to do the opposite. I'm not

  going to ask you to hold on. I'm going to bind you and

  I'mgoingto ask youto let go."

  Skye frowned, brows furrowing. "I don't...I don't

  understand."

  Liamshook his head. "You don't need to. You just

  have to trust me." Which he knew Skye did, at least to

  a certain point. Ifhe was going to keep Skye, he'd push

  him farther, demand more, but as their arrangement

  stood, allhe could do was give himthe basics and hope

  whoever got him next-lucky fucking bastard-was

  good enoughto teachhimthe rest, how to reallylet go. He worried about it. Skye was analytical and so

  firmly set in his way of doing things, would he let

  another Dom in, let them finish the lessons Liam had

  started?

  He pushed the worries aside. That wasn't his

  problem. He was a tutor was all. Skye wasn't his. Not

  for real. He focused on the task at hand, trying to

  detach himself as much as possible from the conflicting

  emotions tumbling inside him--jealousy and

  possessiveness at the forefront. Not now; he had to

  focus and he had not to show allthat to Skye. "So...canyou?"

  Skye nodded. "I trust you, Liam. You know I do."

  He frowned a bit. "Is everythingallright?"

  Liam gave him a reassuring smile. "Everything's

  fine." Except it wasn't, not really, but he had a job to

  do. Besides, even if he wanted to, he had no idea how

  to explain to Skye how he was all knotted up, jealous

  of some nameless, faceless future boyfriend of Skye's,

  worried about whether Skye could manage without him.

  It was ridiculous. As if Skye hadn't been managing just

  fine up untilnow.

  He couldn't say all that, so instead Liamdrew Skye

  closer and kissed him. He was good at his job for a

  reasonand ifhe couldn't sayeverythinghe was thinking,

  then at least he could kiss Skye into enough distraction

  he didn't notice allthe words Liamwas chokingdown. When the kiss broke, Skye was panting, those

  pretty, dark eyes hazy, and Liam smiled. Skye was

  bornfor this; he reallywas. He'd never knowna manso

  ready to give himself to someone. Liam shuddered to

  imagine what kind of trouble Skye might have gotten

  himself into if he hadn't decided to come to Liam first. Everyone had shitty first dates and first times, but Liam was glad Skye had better than that. Had something to show him later it wasn't always that way, when maybe

  some asshole broke his heart.

  "Now what?"

  Liam pushed aside those thoughts, which lately

  inevitably led to wondering what might happen if

  perhaps Skye never had to go through it at all because

  what if Liam kept him? Absurd thoughts that had no

  business in...well, his business.

  "Now we play, my own, and you show me how far

  you're willingto go."

  Skye gave him a look, half-stubborn, half-aroused,

  that said he was up for the challenge. Liam just bet he

  was.Liam took his hand and led him over to the bed,

  nodding to it. "Hop up there, darlin', on your knees facingme, hands behind your back." Skye shivered, but obeyed, climbing up onto the bed, sitting back on his heels with hands behind his back, watching Liam run the rope through his hands. Skye was incredibly focused on the rope, but that was going to change. By the time Liam was done, Skye would be focused one hundred percent on him, nothing

  else.Liam took a moment to strip down to his boxerbriefs and then climbed onto the bed with his lover. Skye's gaze was locked on him, his head turning to follow Liam with his eyes as Liam moved around behind him. Liam tapped his cheek lightly with the coiled rope.

  "Payattention, myown,"he said witha smile. Skye gave him one in return. "I'm paying attention, Sir. Veryclose attention, I promise."

  Liamlaughed and gave his bare ass a light swat with

  the looped-over rope. "To the lesson, not mycock." Skye's cheeks went ruddy and flushed, the way

  they did when he was embarrassed or flustered.

  "Sorry."

  "Don't worry, professor. I'll want your focus right

  back there before we're through. Right now, though,

  payattentionto me."

  Skye nodded, lickinghis lips. "Yes, Sir."He gasped

  when Liam's hands circled his wrists and urged them

  higher behind him, until Skye was cupping his own

  elbows. It was slightly uncomfortable, the position forcing him to thrust his shoulders back and Skye wasn't sure he liked it. Except a few seconds later, Liamrana soothinghand over his shoulders and biceps, his touch almost reverent, and Skye decided he liked

  anythingto get himtouches like that.

  When Liam began looping the rope around his

  wrist, Skye's heart kicked up. There'd been some

  teasing with bondage, but immediately Skye could tell

  this wasn't going to be that. This was the real thing. He

  could hardlystand the anticipationand he forced himself

  to focus, to pay attention to everything about the

  moment.

  Skye catalogued as much detail as he could. The

  way the rope felt--surprisingly soft and almost slippery

  as Liamwound it deftly around his wrists and forearms,

  binding them together. The sound of Liam's breath-

  slow and steady, an even rhythm Skye could focus on

  and that centered him. The smells--the certain

  earthiness and hint of chemicals of the new rope, the

  tang of Liam's sweat and citrus-y shampoo. Keeping

  this detailed focus on what was happening was

 
comforting in its familiarity; a needed thing when what

  Liam was doing was the furthest thing from familiar for

  Skye.The only familiar thing was the way Liammade him feel. Safe. Cherished. Not alone. All the things Skye loved most about how he felt when he was with Liam. More than the pleasure, more than the lust and the physical eroticism, Skye loved the way Liammade him feel warm and not alone and like he mattered for reasons with nothing to do with solving equations or positing theories. Liam liked his brains, but more than that, Liamjust liked him.

  That revelation was new and intoxicating for Skye and he focused on the feeling now as Liamfinished with his wrists and forearms and began winding the same rope--goodness, it must be long--in tight loops around Skye's upper chest.

  He glanced up as Liamcame around infront ofhim. The expression on the other man's face was breathtaking. Intent and veryserious, Liamwas focused entirely on the task at hand, and Skye found his heart racinginresponse to his unwaveringattention.

  "I...I saw pictures of this," Skye blurted. "On the Internet."

  Liam met his gaze with a slow smile. That devastating smile always made Skye feel as though he needed to sit downand catchhis breath.

  "Did you? Tellme what youthought."

  Skye swallowed, trying to remember. "I...I thought it was pretty. I thought there was a sort of...art about it, almost. And I wondered what it felt like."

  "How does it feel?"

  Skye let out a soft sigh, meeting Liam's eyes. "Like you're holdingme."

  Liam's expression softened, and he leaned in to kiss Skye slowly before pulling back again. "That's how it should feel. The ropes aren't just a decoration, they're sort of...anextensionofme, I guess."

  Skye considered that as Liam continued. He liked the idea the ropes were an extension of Liam. It helped make them easier to accept as Liam continued to wind and wrap and knot and twist, the sensation gradually shifting from merely sexy to confining and intense in a wayhe hadn't expected somethingso prettycould be.

  The ropes were tight, but not painfully. Enough to constrict his chest, but not his breathing. Skye trembled as Liam bent to wind the rope between his thighs, breath catching when he fashioned a single knot at the back that nestled directly against his entrance. Oh, evil, evil man. Then Liamfinished things off by securing that rope to Skye's wrists and he straightened, looking thoroughlypleased withhimself.

  Skye shivered, though he wasn't cold. Now what? Liam was just looking at him, with this simmering, unreadable expression. Did he like what he saw? Skye hoped so. Skye certainly liked how it felt. He couldn't shake the feeling something was off, though, with Liam. He seemed...disconnected somehow and it made Skye nervous and anxious in a way he shouldn't be, he didn't

  think."Liam?"

  "Yes, myown?"

  Skye didn't even know how to couch the question. "Are yousure you're okay?"

  Liam met his gaze, brows furrowing. "I'm fine,

  Skye."Then he leaned in to kiss Skye again, just like he

  had earlier whenSkye had asked.

  When the kiss ended, Skye felt as hazy as he

  usually did after one of those mind-bending kisses, but

  he forced himself to shake it off, frowning at Liam.

  "You're doingthat onpurpose,"he accused.

  "Doingwhat?"

  "Kissing me silly!" He scowled, the constriction of

  the ropes suddenly not so pleasant as the doubt and

  anxiety crept in and crumbled the trust he'd clung to the

  entire time. What was going on and why was Liam

  tryingto confuse and distract himfromwhatever it was? It was then, realizing Liam was trying distract him,

  that a bit of panic began to set in. He was completely

  helpless, unable to defend himself...his safeword

  flickered to the forefront of his mind, unbidden, but the

  rational side of him protested it was absurd even to

  consider that he was in any danger. Liamwould protect

  him. Skye trusted him. But why was Liam acting so

  strangely--not acting strangely, exactly, but Skye could

  feelit inhim...somethingwas verywrong.

  Skye didn't even notice his breathing had gone

  shallow and too rapid until Liam's expression changed

  to true concern and he reached for a pair of scissors

  Skye hadn't even noticed on the nightstand. Oh, noooo,

  Skye's mind cried as Liamsnipped the pretty rope here

  and there until, in just a handful of seconds, it lay in bits

  around them on the bed and Skye was free. He was

  too busy trying to catch his breath and being clammy

  and shakyto mournthe loss, though.

  Liam wrapped his arms around him, but Skye

  shoved at his chest, shaking his head. "Stop it." Liam's

  arms dropped, and Skye felt instantly cold. He met

  Liam's gaze out of the corner of his eye. "What just

  happened?"

  Liam looked...sad? What on earth was he sad

  about? None ofthis made sense.

  "What just happened is the result of me getting too

  emotionally invested. I'm so sorry, Skye. I shouldn't

  have attempted the shibari under these circumstances. I

  don't know what I was thinkingand I'msorry." Skye blinked. Too emotionally invested? What

  circumstances? He shook his head. "I don't understand

  what you mean." Skye had never seen that expression

  on Liam's face before. He looked...devastated. Guilty.

  Ashamed, even. What was goingon?

  Liam's hands shook as he raked them through his

  hair. He seemed so upset by the scene falling apart that

  Skye couldn't help the clawing need to comfort him, to

  say it was okay and would be fine. He wasn't sure

  anythingwould be fine, though. He wasn't even sure

  what had caused the problem in the first place. Finally, Liam seemed to steel himself and stood up from the bed. "I think we need to move up our end date, Skye.

  What youhave left to learn...I can't teachyou." Skye's heart kicked up, panic flooding through him.

  "What? No, Liam, I don't want...we had a deal," he

  finished clumsily. What he wanted to do was blurt out

  how he felt, that he loved Liamand didn't want to learn

  anything from anyone else. If Liam couldn't teach it to

  him, thenSkye damnwelldidn't need to know it. But he

  couldn't saythat, no matter how muchhe wanted to. Liam shook his head. "The deal's off. I'm sorry."

  And then--oh, God--he started putting his clothes back

  on.Skye fought the burning in his eyes, scrambling out

  of the bed and grabbing one of the hotel robes. "Liam, wait! Youcan't...youcan't just leave." For a second, Skye thought he'd gotten through to him because Liam paused and then nodded. "You're right. I can't just walk away." He strode over to the nightstand, where a small pad of hotel paper and a pen emblazoned with the casino's logo sat, bending over to scribble somethingonit.

  Any other time Skye would have been ogling his gorgeous ass bent over like that, but right then he was too terrified of what was going on to appreciate the spectacular view.

  Liamturned and held out a piece ofpaper. "Here." Skye frowned and approached almost warily, worried about what might be on the slip of paper. He took it and glanced down, brows knitting when all he saw was anaddress. "What is it?"

  "Your last lesson. Meet me there tomorrow night at

  ten."Skye's heart raced, watching as Liam finished dressing. He wanted to beg himnot to go, some part of him afraid if Liam left he wouldn't come back, he wouldn't see him again, but the paper in his hand grounded him. Liam didn't break his promises, so he nodded, licking his dry lips. "Okay. Liam, I..." But he didn't know what to say.

  Liam met his gaze and, for a moment, Skye swore he wa
sn't the only one feeling like the world was somehow ending. Then Liam gave him a charming smile--even if it didn't seem to reach his eyes--and touched his cheek lightly. "See youtomorrow, Skye."

  It wasn't until he was gone and Skye sat on the edge of the bed in his hotel robe with the remnants of rope scattered around him, frayed and empty, that Skye gave into the burningfeelingand let the tears come.

  He was a fool. He'd somehow convinced himself Liam wasn't going to be able to let him go when the time came and it'd all work out like in the movies. Instead...Liam not only was able to let him go, he was doing it early. Skye glanced down at the cut bits of rope, reaching out to brush his fingers over one segment. Liam had said the ropes were like he was holdingSkye.

  What did theyrepresent now that theywere broken and severed?

  Chapter 13

  Skye glanced up at the building, for a second sure he'd gotten the wrong place. The address was right, however, so he climbed out ofthe taxi. Before he could even begin to wonder what to do next, he spotted Liam approaching. He must have been waiting and watching for him.

  "Hey." He wasn't sure what to say; things had been left awkward and uncertainthe night before.

  Liamtook his hand, and Skye clung to the contact, relaxing a little. "Hey. Come on, it's hot as hell out

  here."Skye glanced up at the sign--BITTEN--again,

  brows furrowing. "Another nightclub lesson?" Liamhad said it was his last lesson. What had he meant? Liam shook his head. "Not a nightclub. BDSM

  club."Skye's brows shot up and his heart began to race. "A BDSM club,"he whispered, like it was the promised land. It sort of was...he'd been curious and wondering what a place like this was like ever since Liam had decided Skye was a submissive. "Why's it called Bitten? Sounds vampire-ish,"he teased.

  Liamsmiled. "I hear the owner has a fetish." "For vampires?"It seemed odd.

  "For biting."

  Ohhh. Skye shivered a little. He wouldn't mind at

  all if Liam decided he wanted to take a few bites. He held onto Liam's hand as he flashed a membership card at the bouncer. Skye began to worry he hadn't dressed appropriately. He'd always imagined a BDSM club full of mostly naked people in leather and those heavy stompyboots and such.

  He was relieved when they got inside to see plenty of people in normal clothes. Oh sure, there were some wandering the club and in small alcove play areas dressed to the fetish nines, but there were just as many guys injeans or girls innormalclub wear.