Finding Her Amish Love

by Rebecca Kertz

  She waited with bated breath to see who was in the vehicle, expecting—and hoping—it would be Daniel. A man she hadn’t met before climbed out, then helped the others get down. A woman with a baby stepped out with his assistance, followed by a little boy, who was lifted into his father’s arms. They headed toward the house. Emma opened the door as they approached. The man froze a moment as he saw her before he continued his approach with his wife and baby.

  “Gut mornin’,” she greeted. Her heart raced as she held the door open for them to enter.

  “You must be Emma,” the woman said. “I’m Sarah Lapp. This is Jedidiah, my husband, and these two are our children.”

  “Jed,” he invited. “I’m Daniel’s brother.” The man studied her thoughtfully.

  The mention of Daniel’s name gave her an odd little thrill until she began to wonder how much of the truth Daniel had told his family about her.

  The man smiled. “You’re a cousin from out of state, I hear. Willkomm.”

  She hid her discomfort at the necessary deception. She managed to smile. “I’m grateful that Missy and Arlin put up with my company.”

  “I’m sure they love having you here.”

  “We do,” Missy said as she entered the room. “Jed, Sarah, I’m glad you could join us today.”

  Jed’s expression softened. “Wouldn’t miss a visit with my favorite endie and onkel.”

  Missy laughed. “You’re a charmer like your bruders.” She reached for the baby in his arms.

  “Noah and Rachel can’t make it,” Sarah said. “Susanna is sick, and they thought it best to keep her home.”

  “Poor girl. I hope she feels better soon,” Missy said.

  “Isaac and Ellen won’t be coming either,” Jed added. “They’re with Ellen’s eldre today.”

  Missy nodded. “Leah and Henry will be over later after a brief visit to Ellen’s parents.” She explained to Emma, “Isaac is married to Ellen. Henry and my nephew Isaac are best friends.”

  “Ellie and Reuben will be here any minute with Ethan.” Missy paused. “Meg, Peter and Timothy are with Horseshoe Joe and Miriam today.”

  An open carriage pulled in, and two couples and a child got out. “Charlie and Nate,” Missy said with a grin of satisfaction. “And Ellie, Reuben and Ethan.”

  Another vehicle entered the property moments later. Jed grinned. “My mudder and vadder.” Emma waited patiently beside Missy while Jed approached the family buggy and opened the door for his parents and siblings.

  “Daniel, Joseph and Hannah are with them,” Sarah said.

  “Where’s Elijah?” Jed asked as his family entered the small home.

  “He and Martha are at the Masts’,” Daniel said. His gaze locked with Emma’s, and she felt a fluttering within her chest.

  She reluctantly pulled her eyes away from him. “May I get anyone something to drink?” she asked everyone. She held up her cup. “Iced tea?”

  Sarah, Jed and Hannah wanted some.

  “I’ll help,” Ellie said. “Reuben?”

  The man smiled at her lovingly. “Ja.”

  “I’ll have some as well,” Joseph said.

  “I’ll get it,” Hannah said.

  Emma grabbed a few plastic cups and poured tea for those who wanted it. Daniel entered the house, carrying a large bowl in each arm. His sister Hannah followed him inside.

  “I’ll help,” Hannah said. The girl had pretty blue eyes and blond hair. Emma saw the resemblance between Daniel and his sister in the shape of their eyes. She handed two cups to Hannah.

  Daniel placed the bowls of food on the kitchen counter. He watched Emma fill two more glasses with iced tea. Emma gave them to him. “Danki,” he murmured as he held her gaze.

  She rewarded him a small smile and breathed easier as he carried them outside. She took another pitcher from the refrigerator and filled four more cups, which she set on the counter.

  “Thank the Lord ’tis a nice enough day to eat outside,” Ellie said with a smile. “This haus is too small for all these people.” She grabbed two of the cups and left the house.

  Despite Ellie’s belief, Emma secretly thought the house perfect for any number of people, as Missy and Arlin filled it with love for their family and friends.

  Daniel returned. “I thought there might be more,” he said, reaching around her for the two plastic cups. His nearness made her heart rate spike. He stepped back but didn’t move. His eyes warmed as his lips curved. “Emma, earlier you didn’t say hallo to me.” He looked amused. “I’ll say it first, then. Hallo, Emma. Nice to see you.”

  “Hallo, Daniel.” She blushed. “I should go out and see if anyone wants something other than tea.” Without waiting for his response, she brushed by him and exited the house. She was aware of him following close behind her. She asked around, but no one else needed anything. She went back into the house. To her surprise, Daniel followed her inside.

  “I need to take Jeremiah for a walk,” she murmured as she grabbed his leash and headed toward the barn. Arlin had put the dog in the barn so that the animal wasn’t overwhelmed with all the company. Inside the barn, she went to Jeremiah’s stall. Arlin had supplied his pet with plenty of creature comforts—his bed, some chew toys, a bowl of water and one of dry dog food.

  “Hey, boy,” she whispered as she unlatched the stall door and went inside, then closed it behind her. Emma approached the little dog and crouched down to pet him. “Are you lonely in here, buddy?” she asked as she ran her fingers through his fur. She laughed when Jeremiah flipped onto his back for her to rub his belly.

  “You have a kind owner,” she said softly. “You’re lucky.” She grinned. “Missy and Arlin love you.” She sighed. “I do, too.” She continued to stroke the dog’s belly. “Want to go for a walk? We can walk through the fields toward the back road. What do you think?”

  “I don’t think that would be a gut idea,” a familiar voice said.

  She gasped and looked up to see Daniel leaning over the half door.

  “You left in a hurry,” he said. “Has it been that long since Jeremiah went out last?”

  Emma blushed. She’d taken him for a walk less than two hours ago. But she needed the comfort Jeremiah gave her. Everyone had been so kind to her, but she reminded herself that she was only living here temporarily, and she felt guilty and out of place. Daniel’s expression was unreadable as he studied her.

  “Does it matter when he was out last?” she asked, her tone crisp.

  “Maybe. What if Missy needs your help?”

  “Oh, I...” Embarrassment made her look away. “I can tie him outside and keep him from being underfoot. He’d like watching everyone, and he won’t make a pest of himself.” She clipped on Jeremiah’s leash. This man did something to her. She was attracted to him although he made her feel off-kilter.

  Daniel stepped aside to make room for her and Jeremiah to exit the stall. She took the dog out into the yard, aware of Daniel behind her.

  Missy was in the yard chatting with three women. It didn’t look like Missy needed help. Emma flashed Daniel an accusing look, but he merely arched an eyebrow at her.

  She approached Missy and her friends. “Emma,” Missy greeted with a smile. “Come and meet my sister-in-law Katie.”

  She was suddenly the focus of three kind gazes. “Hallo,” Emma murmured. She recognized Katie Lapp, Daniel’s mother, in the similarity of her features with Daniel’s.

  “’Tis nice to meet you,” Emma said.

  Katie smiled. “Daniel has talked about you.”

  Emma stilled. “Nothing bad, I hope.”

  The woman shook her head. “All gut. And Leah and Henry have said nothing but nice things about you. I’ve been told you’re a hard worker, and your help at the store allows my niece to get off her feet and rest.”

  Relaxing, Emma gave her a genuine sm
ile. “I enjoy helping Leah and working at the store.”

  “I’m glad you like working there,” Missy said. “Leah will need you more in the coming weeks.”

  “Ja,” Katie agreed. “She’ll be tired. I remember when I carried Jacob and Elijah. My twin sons,” she explained. “I was exhausted by noon every day.”

  “Henry urges Leah to nap in the afternoon. She didn’t want to at first, but now she gets so tired that she listens to him when he urges her to go up to the house and lie down.”

  “Are you taking Jeremiah for a walk?” Missy asked.

  “I thought I would tie him up outside away from everyone. Unless you think it would be better if I put him in my room.”

  Missy nodded. “That might be a better idea.”

  Emma excused herself to take Jeremiah upstairs to her room. She took off his leash, then refilled the bowl of water for him, setting it next to the makeshift bed she’d made for him.

  When Emma returned downstairs, the women were gathering food from the kitchen to take outside. She grabbed a large bowl that Daniel had carried in earlier and took it to the table that Arlin had set up outside for food. The men had also set up tables made from plywood laid across sawhorses. Kitchen chairs had been brought outside for people to sit on. Everyone else searched for a comfortable place to sit. When it was time to eat, Emma filled her plate and sat on the small stoop near the side door of the house.

  Watching Missy’s family interact from a distance, Emma saw the love among family members. She experienced an intense longing to belong in some way. She sat and silently ate from her plate with her cup of lemonade next to her on the step.

  Daniel came over to her, and she tensed. “Mind if I sit down?” he asked.

  She shook her head and moved her glass of lemonade to her other side, shifting over to give him room.

  He sat close beside her, and she struggled to appear at ease.

  “The food is delicious.”

  Emma managed to smile. “Ja, I especially like the salads your mother made.”

  The air grew tense with silence.

  “Did you have a gut first week?” Daniel asked.

  “Daniel—”

  “’Tis a simple question, Emma.”

  She faced him, found him studying her with an intensity that startled her. “Ja, it was a gut week. I learned a lot from Leah and Henry.”

  He nodded, then went back to eating. “Was it a problem for you to have Joseph to bring you home yesterday?”

  “Nay.” She took a sip from her lemonade.

  “Then you won’t mind if he comes to take you home every day.”

  “Daniel—”

  “I’ll take you to work and he can bring you home.”

  She sighed. “I don’t think so.”

  He scowled at her. “What? Why not?”

  Something about his tone made her breath catch. “I don’t want to bother either of you.”

  “You won’t be bothering us. We offered.”

  “It doesn’t seem right.”

  “But we want to help,” he said, his expression sincere.

  Her heart melted. “I’ll accept your help for now,” she said, “until I can make other arrangements.”

  His grin warmed her heart. “That’s fine.”

  Daniel surprised her by staying close to her for a time. Emma found that she didn’t mind his company as much as she thought she would. He was entertaining as he told her stories about each of his relatives. “Charlie used to be a wild child,” he said.

  “Charlie?”

  “Ja. Nate didn’t know what to make of her until she convinced him she was perfect for him.”

  Emma chuckled as Daniel smiled at her.

  A short time later, he excused himself to discuss something with his brothers. Emma headed toward Missy and Katie, who stood talking with Leah and Ellie in the shade of an oak tree.

  “I tell you ’tis a shame,” Missy said. “David knows better. No technology. ’Tis against the Ordnung. ’Tis no wonder the elders want him to be shunned.”

  “The bishop believes ’tis the right thing to do,” Katie Lapp said.

  “David understands our rules and what’s expected of him.”

  Overhearing, Emma froze, waiting to hear more. They were about to shun someone? In this community? She suddenly felt sick to her stomach.

  “David says he found it, whatever it is. I think it’s a tablet. He works in a supermarket in Lancaster. His sister said he bought it.”

  “And it runs on electricity,” Katie pointed out.

  “And I heard he plugs it in to charge it at Whittier’s Store. Bob Whittier has some code that David puts into the tablet so that he can view the English world on it,” Leah said.

  “He clearly doesn’t think he did anything wrong,” Leah’s sister Ellie added.

  “Bishop John spoke with David and he’s not sorry for owning one.”

  Emma stepped closer, needing to know more.

  “Emma!” Sarah Lapp exclaimed. “Come and join us.”

  Her heart fluttered in her chest. If these people ever learned the truth about her shunned family, she’d be ostracized like they planned to do to this David. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”

  “You’re not,” Katie assured her with a smile. “We were chatting about a member of our community who has gone against the Ordnung. ’Tis a terrible thing. Our bishop and church elders have decided that he should be shunned, especially since the man feels no remorse for what he’s done.”

  Emma nodded as tension rose within her. “If he were sorry, would he still be shunned?”

  “If he said he regretted what he did—and meant it—then he would be accepted back into our community,” Missy said. “Shunning is simply the Amish way of tough love. David Fisher can remain in Happiness, but no one will sit or eat with him. Nor will members of the community do business with him.”

  “I see.” And Emma truly understood for the first time about shunning. One had to do a terrible wrong to be shunned. She realized she never really understood what shunning—or ostracizing a person—meant. Only that her parents told her that they could never return to their Amish community. Never see her grandparents, other relatives and friends. Now she knew that if they had, her family would have rejected them.

  I shouldn’t stay. As much as she would have liked to, she didn’t truly belong here.

  When it was time for everyone to leave, Emma watched Daniel and his family climb into their buggies. His hands holding the leathers, Daniel saw her and smiled. She eyed him warily, then turned away, unable to bear the thought of his rejection should he learn the truth about her.

  In a few weeks, she’d turn eighteen. She wasn’t sure where she’d go, but she knew she had to leave now. She couldn’t stay. She would work one more day and pay for the clothes that Leah had provided for her. Then she would leave Happiness and the Amish community here. And Daniel. She would never forget any of them. And she’d always remember Daniel and how kind he’d been to her. It would hurt to go, but if he ever learned the truth about her, she was sure he’d reject her.

  That would be more painful than anything her foster father had done.

  Chapter Nine

  Daniel arrived at the house the next morning as Emma pinned the last of the wet laundry on the clothesline. She heard the sound of wheels on the dirt driveway and turned to see him climb out of his buggy and head toward the house. Aware that he hadn’t seen her, she approached the house and entered within seconds of Daniel’s entry.

  “Hallo, Daniel,” she said.

  He eyed her with surprise. “You were outside?”

  “Ja. I was at the clothesline.”

  Missy handed her a paper bag. “I made you lunch.”

  “Danki,” she said solemnly. She grabbed her sweater from a wall hook. It was chilly outside,
and the temperature would likely drop later in the day.

  She was quiet as Daniel drove her to work. Her throat felt tight as she stared through the side window. She could barely swallow. She was saddened by the realization that today would be the last time she would see or spend time with him.

  The Yoders’ store loomed ahead on the right side of the road. Daniel steered his horse to the parking lot. He sat a moment without a word until Emma started to get out.

  He caught her by the hand to stop her. “Emma, wait,” he said.

  She stiffened.

  “Something is bothering you,” he said.

  “I’m fine.”

  He shook his head. “Nay, you’re not. We had a nice day yesterday, ja? Then at some point, something changed and you seemed upset. You became quiet.”

  “Daniel, I’m fine.”

  He studied her for a long time. There was something in his expression that made her heart race. “You’d tell me if you were upset?”

  Emma shifted uncomfortably. She didn’t want to have this conversation. He seemed genuinely concerned about her, which only made her feel more guilty and sad. “You need to get to work, and I should get inside. Leah and Henry are waiting for me.”

  He inclined his head. “Joseph will bring you home this afternoon.”

  “Oll recht.” She got out of the vehicle but paused at the front entrance of the store. “Take care, Daniel Lapp.”

  He frowned. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Emma.”

  Despite her decision to leave, Emma experienced an odd warmth in her chest from Daniel’s concern for her. She entered the store and approached the counter. “Gut morning,” she greeted the Yoders.

  “Gut morning, Emma,” Leah said, and Henry smiled.

  “Should I restock shelves today?”

  “Leah has another doctor’s appointment,” Henry told her. “Can you handle the store for us?”

  “Ja, I’d be happy to.”

  Henry smiled. “Danki. I’ll carry out some boxes for you.”