Keith

by Dale Mayer

  “Send her a message.” She walked back over, brought the tablet out of Sleep mode, and said, “Here. Dani’s right there, so you can send her a message.” She tapped the icon, brought up the text box, and said, “Go for it.”

  While she watched, he quickly typed in a message, asking if he was supposed to make it to lunch on his own. But, instead of getting a response, they heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

  “Uh-oh,” Ilse said. “Time for me to leave.”

  “Did you get me in trouble?” he growled in a mocking voice.

  “Nope,” she said. “I think it was probably easier for her to explain in person than message you back.”

  “Exactly,” Dani said, as she walked into his room. “Your sister is taking you to lunch.”

  “Oh,” he said in delight. “I hadn’t even considered that.”

  “You’re not used to having your sister around, are you?”

  He stopped, then shook his head. “Not for a long time.”

  It had been a long time. Keith didn’t quite know how to explain it, but, with him in the military and her at the university full-time, they didn’t have a whole lot of opportunity to spend time together. But he could see from their faces that they understood. He had noticed that, around here, every time he tried to explain something, they’d already gotten it. Somehow they understood.

  It was disconcerting, but he remembered seeing a TV show once, where a woman said that, when people got her jokes, she felt that she had found her people and was happy because now she had people who understood her. Maybe that’s what this was all about for him. Maybe he had found his people here. It was a weird feeling, like a sense of belonging that he hadn’t expected to feel again. Being in the navy, and especially being a SEAL, he had experienced the same feeling of brotherhood, of belonging, but, once he was injured and separated from the team, knowing he could never go back there, he also felt that sense of being left behind. Something he didn’t ever want to feel again.

  But now he was here and wondering if maybe these were his people in a sense. Just then another set of footsteps walked down the hallway. He looked up to see that Ilse had left, and Dani remained.

  Looking at him, Dani asked, “How are you holding up?” She looked at the dessert in his hand. “Wow, did she deliver that for you?”

  “Yes,” he said, popping the last bite into his mouth. “She did. But apparently there’s more for lunch, which is in about an hour, I understand.” Just then his sister poked her head around the corner.

  “Hey, bro. I meant to tell you that I will go down to lunch with you, if you’re okay with that.”

  He laughed. “I think you’re the last one to tell me,” he said, “but thanks. That sounds good.”

  She looked surprised at his tone and also pleased.

  That made him realize just how much of a grouch and a generally miserable human being he’d been over the last year or so. He needed to make it up to his sister, but first he had to make it up to himself. Maybe, just maybe, by being here, he could make some progress in that area too.

  Chapter 4

  A couple days later, Ilse walked up the center stairs in the morning and walked down the hallway. She could feel herself already edging toward Keith’s room, looking to see if he was awake. And, sure enough, once again the light was on. She poked her head around the corner to see him waiting, almost expectantly. She smiled. “I think this is a bad habit.”

  He gave her a sheepish smile. “Believe me. I’m not trying to be awake when you arrive. I would love to sleep late.”

  “I know,” she said sadly. “How have your first few days here been?”

  “Good,” he said, “but we haven’t really done anything yet. Just lots of testing.” He shuffled restlessly in the bed, then shut his eyes.

  “You’ll go back to sleep?”

  “It hasn’t happened yet,” he said, “but I guess it’s possible.”

  “So, no coffee?”

  His eyes popped opened. “Definitely coffee,” he said warmly. “I just feel bad having you deliver it all the time.”

  “My legs are working,” she said, “and they’re young and healthy, so really no reason I can’t bring a coffee back.” And, with that, she gave him a small finger wave and walked on past.

  She had been pretty busy, partly because recently they’d been shorted on several orders. When a big mix-up on another order had her wondering what kind of craziness was going on in her world, she’d finally pulled Ricky aside and sat him down to ask him what was going on.

  Then she found out that he had been really distracted because his daughter had seen a specialist, and she might have leukemia. Her heart had gone out to him immediately, as she became aware that she now had two of her staff dealing with major health issues in their family. “Okay, but I’ll take over the ordering for now,” she said. “These last few days have been a mess.”

  He winced and nodded. “Do I still have a job?”

  “Of course you do,” she said warmly. “I understand you are distracted. Who wouldn’t be? But I can’t have you doing a job with such big ramifications when a mistake gets made.” She laughed and tried to put him at ease.

  He nodded. “I was trying to get it right, then, after finding a mistake, I’d panic. In the course of trying to fix it, half the time I just made it worse. Way worse.”

  She looked down at his notes that had been scratched out and written over and scratched off again, and the order forms looked a bit like a kid’s messy homework paper.

  She nodded and said, “You need time to clear your head, so you can do whatever needs to be done around here that doesn’t require this stuff.” She held out the papers. “Let me see it.”

  He handed her the clipboard with a new ordering sheet in front.

  “Do you have any idea what we need?”

  He stared at her, then sighed. “Not really.”

  She nodded. “Okay, let’s go then. The two of us can walk through and see what we need. Grab the old sheets so we can see what we ordered over the last couple weeks.”

  She already knew that she needed fresh mushrooms and green peas. She needed another shipment of flour. Making notes as they walked, the two of them went through the stock slowly and carefully. Not like an inventory but making a list of what they would need going forward. When that was finally done, she’d missed her coffee and realized she hadn’t delivered any to Keith either. But she did have her order sheets done.

  She quickly faxed in one of them that she needed today, hoping it wasn’t too late, then sent the other two off for tomorrow’s deliveries. With the lists in her hand, she walked over and readjusted the week’s menu based on the different ingredients they were bringing in now.

  When she turned around, Ricky just stood there, staring off into space. She gave him a gentle shake on the shoulder. “Go home. If your family needs you, that’s where you should be.”

  He looked at her in surprise.

  She shrugged and said, “We can handle this while you look after your daughter. Just go.”

  He didn’t waste any time and quickly grabbed his jacket and was gone.

  Gerard looked over at her, asking, “What was that all about?”

  “He’s a mess right now,” she said, explaining about his daughter going in for leukemia testing. At that news, everybody winced.

  “Well, that explains the orders for the last few days.”

  “Yes, I’m just sorry he didn’t tell us before we ended up with whatever it is. Twenty-four extra gallons of milk?” She shook her head at that. “We need ways to use it, people.”

  “Puddings,” one of them said immediately.

  “Cream soups,” another one said.

  “Good. Keep those ideas coming,” she said. “We’ve got a seven-day window for the ‘best before’ dates, so let’s book out something every day that’ll use up what we have. Twenty-four/seven. Dividing that up, it looks like we’ll need to use an extra three gallons a day.”

  They n
odded and turned back to the work they each were doing.

  She walked over, finding the coffee was once again gone, and put on a fresh pot. As soon as it had dripped, she poured herself one and another for Keith, even though it was two hours late. She slipped out of the kitchen and headed toward his room.

  When she walked inside, he was sitting up and looking a little worse for the wear. He had a sheet thrown across his leg, but the other leg she could see was purple and black. She stopped and winced. “Man, I hope the other one doesn’t look quite so bad.”

  He stared down at the puffy-looking mess. “It does, unfortunately. Maybe worse actually.”

  “Can you walk at all?”

  “I can,” he said, “but not very far, not very fast, and not very long.”

  “Still, being ambulatory is huge,” she said, putting the coffee down. “Sorry, things got crazy in the kitchen.”

  He looked at the coffee in surprise. “I’d forgotten. I fell asleep and didn’t remember when I woke up that no cold coffee waited here for me.”

  She grinned at that. “In that case, it’s a good thing that I got sidetracked.” Just like that, she turned to leave again.

  “Wait,” he called out.

  She turned to look at him. “What’s up?” She saw him hesitate and then shrug.

  “Nothing really, but thanks for the coffee.”

  Knowing he was trying to say something else but wouldn’t now, she wished she had given him an opportunity to speak before she left. Aware that the moment was lost, she shrugged and said, “You’re welcome.” And, with that, she headed back to the kitchen.

  Keith didn’t even know what he should say. She was going out of her way every day to say hi first thing in the morning, to ask him about coffee, and then she came by and brought him one. He wasn’t used to this special attention, certainly not from a chef in a place like this. She was also super friendly and approachable. He always figured chefs were these six-foot-tall men with massive chests and beer guts, hacking out orders like a command center in a big kitchen. She was the complete antithesis to who he thought would run a kitchen here.

  But, from the food that he had tasted, it was absolutely exquisite. And lots of it, which was not that easy to do. Institutional food was well-known for being bland, overcooked, and completely tasteless. But not here. Not here at all. Yet another bonus of his visit. But, like he’d said to her, so far nothing was happening. It was just testing. And that was frustrating.

  He slid off the edge of the bed, grabbed his crutches, and supported himself on the aluminum “sticks” while he tried to stand. He had told her that he could walk, and he could—but only in an emergency. One step, two steps. In the meantime, getting from point A to point B without crutches was a major trauma to his system. The right leg still dragged more than he would like. But he managed to make it to the bathroom, and, after using the facilities, he wondered about a quick shower, then decided to go for it, regardless of whether it was the thing to do or not. Of course his shower was equipped with all the bars and seats needed for people like him.

  He turned on the hot water and made his way under the heavy stream and just sat here, letting the heat beat down on his head and body. He stared down his body, at the one leg that she’d seen, studying it, as if with her eyes. He’d become so used to the scars that crisscrossed his body that the purple welts and the new tissue never looked the same as the old tissue.

  He was like a Frankenstein put back together again. Modern medicine had done a heck of a job, but it hadn’t left him in very pretty shape.

  By the time he was done with his shower and got dressed and back to his bed, he was shaking. He swore lightly.

  Just then a man spoke around the corner. “That doesn’t sound good.”

  Keith glared at the open door. “It’s not bad though,” he said to Shane.

  Shane walked in, frowning at him. “What exhausted you this morning?”

  “I just had a shower,” he said.

  Shane looked at him in surprise. “Did you get there under your own steam?”

  He nodded.

  “Did you have the shower on your own?”

  He nodded again.

  “Did you get back here and get dressed on your own?”

  At that, he nodded once more.

  “Then I sure wouldn’t be too upset with that much effort on your own,” Shane said with a big smile. “I’m thrilled to know you have that much independence.”

  He stared at him in surprise. “Yeah, but, I mean, I’m exhausted,” he said. “I could barely even make it back.”

  “Barely is a mind-set,” Shane announced. “The thing to remember is you did make it. Now how about some breakfast?”

  “I was thinking about it, but I’m pretty tired now,” he admitted.

  “No problem,” Shane said. He grabbed the wheelchair, pulled it around, and said, “Let’s use this.”

  He looked at it, then at Shane, and said, “I generally don’t go out in public in a wheelchair.”

  “Hathaway House is not public,” he said. “This is home, so hop in.”

  Shane was just one of those guys who was really hard to ignore or to argue with. The wheelchair sat in front of Keith, one of those specters of his current life that he hated, but no give was in Shane’s voice or in the look on his face. He’d already slid the wheelchair his way, and Shane reached out and grabbed Keith’s arm.

  “Easy,” he said. “If you slide down, take one step forward. Then we can twist you and drop you into the seat.”

  And that’s what they did. And even though Keith was tall, once he was in a wheelchair, he felt like a child. “I hate these things,” he muttered.

  “Of course you do,” he said, “because, to you, it’s a backward step. What you’re forgetting is to be grateful for the fact that you have the option of a wheelchair, so you can get breakfast without collapsing halfway there.”

  With Shane pushing, giving Keith zero option on direction, he was pushed out of the room, down the hallway toward the cafeteria. He looked around and said, “Aren’t many people in wheelchairs here.”

  “On any given day,” Shane said, “there’ll be dozens, and it can change from morning to afternoon. If you’ve had your PT workout, and you can’t make it back, the wheelchair is an easy option.”

  “Is that what happens to a lot of guys?” he asked. Because, in his experience, it hadn’t happened to him yet.

  “All the time,” Shane said cheerfully. “All the time.”

  “So it’ll get harder here than it’s been so far?” A startled breath escaped from Shane behind him, so Keith twisted, wincing as he did so. He stared up at the physiotherapist.

  “You haven’t seen anything yet,” Shane said quietly. “And, when the time comes, you’ll remember this conversation and wish you hadn’t brought it up.”

  “That bad?”

  “That bad,” Shane said, and he gave him a flat stare. “We’ll tailor it to what you can do, but what you think you can do is always different than what I know you can do.”

  Chapter 5

  The pattern continued for the next few days. Ilse would say hi to him in the morning, if he was awake, then bring him coffee if she could. She would try to greet him at lunch, even though she was normally behind-the-scenes. Even Dennis commented on it.

  “Wow, there must be something special about him that’s dragged you out of your kitchen.”

  “I don’t know what it is,” she said quietly. “After I saw his leg, the hamburger that is left of it,”—she shook her head—“I don’t think I could have done what he’s done.”

  Dennis nodded slowly. “A lot of guys here are like that,” he said. “I guess this is just the first time you’ve come in contact with one on a personal level.”

  “I don’t think I could do it too often,” she said, staring at the long queue forming out front at the dessert and coffee station. “The fact that he’s still even functional, after so many surgeries, just blows me away. I understa
nd the depression and the lack of vitality. I don’t even think it’s so much of a mental state for him as much as his body is still recovering from everything that’s been done to him.”

  “Well, I know that you put a smile on his face,” Dennis said, “so, for that, we’re all grateful. What is it about him that gets to you?”

  They kept their voices low because they were still out front, behind the cafeteria line. She leaned against the back counter with Dennis beside her, as they watched the full cafeteria eating happily as the line began dissipating around the desserts.

  “I’m not sure,” she said, then shook her head. “Just something about him that hits at a different level for me.”

  “Well, he is certainly an interesting new addition,” Dennis said. “He’s got grit, which is a good thing, because he’s got a long, hard journey ahead of him.”

  She looked at him sharply. “Will it be as bad as the journey he’s already left behind?”

  At that, he looked at her in surprise. “You know what? I’m not sure that it is,” he said. “Chances are the worst is behind him. He’ll work hard here for every inch of progress, but he will see the gains this time. The thing about all his surgeries is that he had to recover just so he could go back and get cut again. Although they might have done a really great job, the gains aren’t necessarily anything he can really see or feel because his body must still be such a mess. The next six months for him will be huge.”

  “I wonder how far he can go?”

  “I mentioned that to Shane a few days ago, and he said nothing was holding Keith back, now that the last of the surgeries were completed. He has a lot of work ahead of him, but there was every reason to think that he could lead a fully functioning life again after this.”

  “Well, that’s a relief,” she said. “I think he’s almost stuck in that zone where he doesn’t see progress, doesn’t think there’ll be any, and doesn’t know why anybody bothers anymore.”

  “Yes, I see that too,” Dennis said. “There’s very little in the way of laughter or even smiles in his world.”