Vicious Cycle

by Katie Ashley

  As Willow started for the sink, my gaze locked on Deacon’s.

  “I know I may have seemed … a little harsh about her eating, but she was pretty malnourished when she came here.”

  Knowing the situation Willow had lived in with her mother, I wasn’t too surprised by that information. “I agree that she needs to eat her vegetables and she needs to show you respect. My father asked the same thing of me when I was Willow’s age.” I offered him a smile. “I think maybe your delivery could use just a bit of work, but other than that, you’re doing very well.”

  A smirk curved across his lips. “Thank you, Miss Evans.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Beth rose from her seat. “All right, boys. It’s time to clean up.”

  A chorus of groans echoed around the table. “At least let me do the dishes since you were so kind to invite me to dinner.”

  Beth smiled. “And deprive my sons of the task?”

  I laughed at Bishop’s aggravated grunt and Deacon’s roll of his eyes. “No, I wouldn’t want to do that at all.”

  “You gonna read me my bedtime story, Uncle Rev?” Willow asked.

  Before he could reply, I said, “You know what? I bet your daddy would love to read you a story tonight.”

  Deacon’s eyes narrowed at my comment while Willow’s widened in surprise. “Really? You want to read to me, Deacon?” she asked.

  “Yeah, sure, kid. Why not?”

  A beaming smile lit up her face. “Okay. I’ll go brush my teeth and get my pajamas on.”

  “Whatever,” Deacon replied.

  Trying to ignore his glare, I turned to Beth. “Thank you again for dinner.”

  “You’re more than welcome. Feel free to join us anytime. You have a standing invitation every night,” Beth said.

  “That’s very sweet of you.”

  As I started to the foyer, Deacon stepped in front of me. “I’ll walk you back to your car.”

  I couldn’t hide my surprise at his uncharacteristically thoughtful gesture. Of course, I also hoped he wasn’t going to go off on me about my bedtime-story suggestion. “Um, thank you,” I mumbled as I followed him out the door.

  The flame from his cigarette lighter lit the way for us in the dark. The sound of Deacon’s boots clomping across the floorboards filled the silence between us. After we pounded down the stairs, Deacon turned to me. “You know, you should really go for Rev.”

  “Excuse me?” I questioned in surprise. After all, that was the last thing I’d expected out of him. A harsh “You need to mind your own fucking business when it comes to me and my kid” was more what I’d expected.

  Deacon took a long drag on his cigarette. “He’s into you—I can tell.”

  Cocking my head, I eyed him curiously. “Funny. I thought you came out here to go off on me about what I did with Willow, not to play matchmaker.”

  “I’m not too stubborn to admit when I’m wrong about something.”

  “You sure about that?” I teased.

  “Yeah, I’d be a dick to yell at you for just suggesting I read to my kid. I mean, that’s what parents do. Well, that’s at least what my mother did for me.”

  It was the first time he had given me any insight into his childhood. I couldn’t help wondering about what Deacon was like as a little boy. I’d since learned that he was an adopted son of Beth’s. I was certainly curious about his life before he came to live with the Malloys.

  After silence stretched momentarily between us, I replied, “I’m glad to hear you say that.”

  “Now, what about Rev?”

  “What about him?” I questioned coyly.

  My comment earned me a scowl from Deacon. “What about dating him?”

  “He seems very sweet, and he’s very good-looking. But …”

  After he exhaled a trail of smoke, his eyes found mine in the dark. “He’s not like Bishop and me, if that’s what you’re worrying about.”

  “How’s that?”

  “He likes good women.”

  “And after spending a couple of hours with me, you automatically know I’m good?” I countered.

  “You’re sure as hell not a sweet butt.”

  “A what?”

  He grinned. “Sorry. I keep forgetting you’re not of our world, White-Bread.”

  “Don’t call me that.”

  After flicking off the growing ashes of his cigarette, Deacon said, “A sweet butt is a chick who gets off by hanging around an MC club and banging any guy who wants to be with her.”

  Wrinkling my nose, I replied, “You’re serious?”

  “Hell yeah.”

  “Why would women disrespect themselves like that?”

  Deacon shrugged. “That’s their business, not mine.”

  “Well, you’re certainly right about me not being a club whore.”

  “Which is a definite turn-on for Rev.”

  “If Rev is so into me, why didn’t he walk me to my car?”

  “Because he’s gun-shy with women. He got his heart broken by some bitch who never deserved him.”

  “That’s awful.”

  Deacon tossed his cigarette to the ground and then stomped it out with his boot. “He’s better off now, but he’s been through some rough times.”

  “It’s very sweet of you to be looking out for him.”

  “He’s my brother. I want him to be happy,” Deacon replied as he led me around the side of the clubhouse. When my car came into view, I quickly dug my keys out of my purse. After I popped the lock, I met Deacon’s expectant gaze.

  “I think it’s best if I focus solely on Willow right now and not romance.”

  His brows knitted tightly together. “So that’s a no?”

  I shrugged. “I guess it’s more of a not right now. How’s that?”

  “Not what I wanted to hear.”

  With a laugh, I opened my car door. “Good night, Deacon.”

  “Good night, Miss Evans.”

  “Are you never going to call me Alexandra?”

  “Maybe … just not right now,” he replied with a crooked smile.

  When the antique cuckoo clock in the corner of the pawnshop struck three, I pushed myself out of my chair and tossed aside the Playboy I’d been eyeing. Thanks to Willow’s school hours and Case’s insistence, I now had a new routine. Every day at three, I would stand outside the pawnshop. As I had a cigarette, I waited for Alexandra to arrive. I could count on her arriving just about the time I had lit up and taken a few drags.

  I usually got treated to an eyeful of her legs, since she always wore skirts and dresses to work. A cloud of her sweet-smelling perfume would hit my nostrils as I escorted her into the clubhouse to a waiting Willow. I’d spend the next two hours shuffling around the clubhouse, keeping an eye on the door to the “classroom” that Mama Beth had insisted the boys and I construct.

  Three days into this new schedule found me propped up on a barstool, bored as hell and frustrated as hell since Cheyenne had been eye-fucking me all afternoon. Finally, I gave up and escaped to the bathroom to pour some cold water on my half-mast dick. After all, there was no way I could sneak away for a quickie with Cheyenne when I was supposed to be keeping an eye on Alex.

  When I returned, Willow stood at the bar, flashing a paper at Cheyenne, who gave her a look of disinterest. In Cheyenne’s world, if you didn’t have a dick or a cut, you weren’t much use to her. At the sight of me, she did manage to give Willow a beaming smile. For some reason, it made me angry that she couldn’t give my kid any welcome attention when I wasn’t in the room.

  “Look, Deacon. Look what I made on my test!” Willow cried, dancing around me. I opened my mouth to say something, but she continued rattling on. “Miss Alex said this is some of the work that first graders are doing, and I’m really smart to be able to do it already.”

  “Yeah, that’s great. Good job,” I said. My words fell a little short of the foreign feeling of pride that swelled in my chest. Sure, I’d done okay when I was in school,
but nothing like Willow. She was gonna be something.

  Willow threw her arms around my waist¸ squeezing me tight. I couldn’t help stiffening at her touch. She may have been with me for four months now, but I still couldn’t get used to her expressions of affection. I didn’t know what my fucking problem was. Both Rev and Bishop reacted easily to Willow’s hugs and kisses. But here I was, her own flesh and blood, and I still felt emotionally detached from her. I was beginning to wonder if I would always feel this way.

  Breaking the hug, she said, “Im’a gonna go show Grandma.”

  “Yeah, you do that. Get her to put it on the fridge or some shit.”

  Willow bounded out of the main hall and out the back door. She waved the paper at Archer as he walked her out of the compound to the house. Even within the confines of our compound, I wasn’t taking any chances with her safety.

  Peering around the room, I questioned, “Where’s Alex?”

  “Bishop asked her to go back to his room,” Cheyenne replied.

  “You’re shitting me.”

  When she glanced up at me, a catlike smile curved Cheyenne’s lips. “Why would I lie about something like that?”

  “I meant why would she do that?”

  Cheyenne shrugged. “Maybe she thinks he’s hot. Wouldn’t be the first girl to drop her panties for Bishop.”

  I staggered back in shock. Alex was alone in a room with Bishop. A girl like her should never, ever be alone with a biker, least of all Bishop. That motherfucker had totally disregarded what I had said about leaving her alone. My fists clenched at my sides. I was going to kick his ass.

  Without another word to Cheyenne, I stomped down the hall. The door to Bishop’s room was closed tight. I knew the right thing would be to knock, but for some reason, I didn’t give a fuck about the right thing.

  “Oh, Bishop, that’s so good,” came Alex’s muffled praise.

  Rage uncoiled within me, spreading through my body. Alex refused Rev and acted like she was too good for me, but she was spreading her legs for my manwhore of a brother.

  I braced my hands on the doorframe and lifted my leg back, kicking the door with all the strength in me, causing it to fly open. As it banged against the wall, I stalked inside. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. Instead of Alex and Bishop naked and fucking, they were sitting on the edge of his bed. With a pencil in his hand, Bishop balanced a workbook on his lap. I couldn’t get a good look at the workbook, but I could only imagine it was some kind of sex manual.

  “What the fuck is going on here?” I demanded.

  For the first time I could ever remember, Bishop blushed. The tough-ass motherfucker seriously turned the color of an overripe tomato.

  Alex rose to her feet, giving me a glare that could curl paint off a wall. “I’m not sure that is any of your business.”

  “This is my clubhouse and my brother. Everything that goes on in my club is my business.”

  Cocking her head at me, Alex motioned to my cut. “I thought you were just the sergeant at arms.”

  I barked a laugh. “Just the sergeant at arms? Lady, you don’t know shit about my office or what this patch means.”

  “I would hardly think it was your right to know everything. That sounds like the job of the president.”

  Staring past Alex, I eyed Bishop. “Quit stalling and answer my question, brother.”

  Alex went to sit back down beside Bishop. “You don’t owe him an explanation. What happens between you and me is private.”

  “Miss Evans, you are seriously pissing me off, and if you know what’s good for you, you will shut the fuck up and stay out of this!” I growled.

  “Okay, okay,” Bishop said, as he threw up his hands in defeat, sending the workbook fluttering to the floor. Before he could pick it up, I beat him to it.

  Gazing down at the cover, I read aloud, “Mastering the GED Exam.” I cut my eyes back to him. “This isn’t a sex manual.”

  Bishop’s embarrassment turned over to humor. “A sex manual?”

  I shrugged. “What else would you be doing with her back here but fucking?”

  Alex sucked in a harsh breath. “Certainly not that,” she snapped.

  “You don’t know my brother’s persuasive ability, not to mention his”—I paused to scratch my chin—“infatuation with you.”

  “And you do not know my moral and ethical resolve,” she countered.

  I flashed her a grin. “There you go using them big words. My feeble little mind can’t keep up.”

  “Maybe you’re the one who should be studying, rather than Bishop.”

  “Anytime you want to teach me, I’m ready to learn.”

  She glared at me for a moment before crossing her arms in a huff. Damn, she was so sexy when she got riled. A fiery little hellcat in a prim and prissy exterior. Turning my attention from her, I waved the workbook at Bishop. “So what’s all this about?”

  He gave me a sheepish look. “I wanted to finish high school—that’s all.”

  I eyed him suspiciously. “Have you taken a few too many hits to the head?”

  “No, asshole, I haven’t.”

  “Since when do you give two shits about whether you finished school or not? You didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass when you dropped out seven years ago.”

  Bishop snatched the workbook from me. “Maybe I realized that I’m not going to be able to keep boxing forever. Besides doing club errands or working at the gym, I don’t have shit for options. If I wanted to go to mechanic school, I’d need a GED.”

  “Mechanics? You don’t need school for that. We can find you a hookup to learn hands-on. Truman can always make you a license.”

  With his blue eyes flashing, Bishop replied, “I want something legitimately my own for once—not something the club had its hand in.”

  I shook my head slowly from side to side. Was my little brother actually growing a conscience? “Is this Rev’s influence?”

  Bishop rolled his eyes. “Can’t I have a thought of my own without being influenced by my good or bad brother?”

  “Yeah, you can. It’s just … I guess I’m speechless.”

  “That’s a fucking first,” Bishop grumbled.

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I eyed Bishop. “Look, man, I don’t mean to rack your balls about this. What you’re doing is a good thing for you. I could never fault you for doing that.”

  “You’re serious?” he questioned, his blond brows rising in surprise.

  “’Course I am.”

  A grin stretched across Bishop’s face. “Thanks, bro. I’m glad to hear that.”

  I glanced from him to Alex. “My, my, you certainly are devoted to my family. First my daughter and now my brother. Who will you educate next?”

  “Whom,” she replied.

  “Huh?”

  The corners of her lips teased as if she was holding back a smile. “You mean whom will I educate next.”

  As Bishop chuckled, I replied, “Guess I’m the lucky one.”

  “Maybe you can repay the favor for all the education by granting me a favor?”

  I eyed her warily. “What do you want?”

  “There really isn’t a proper place here for Willow’s ballet lessons.” She paused, nibbling on her bottom lip. I’d noticed she tended to do that when she was nervous. Usually she did it around me when she wasn’t giving me lip. “I was just wondering with you owning the gym—”

  “The club owns the gym,” I corrected.

  Her cheeks tinged a little. “Well, with your ties to the club, would it be okay if I gave Willow her lessons there? There would be sufficient mirrors, and you really can’t teach proper form without mirrors.”

  “If she’s needing mirrors, maybe you could let her borrow your bedroom,” Bishop suggested with a wicked gleam in his eye.

  “Fuck off,” I snarled, as Alex’s cheeks reddened again.

  Bishop only snickered as he flipped open his workbook again while Alex drew in a breath. “It wouldn’t be every
day. Most students only attend dance once or twice a week. If there was just a corner of the gym we could have, that would be plenty. I could even have Willow wear headphones to take care of doing the poses to the music.”

  Scratching my chin, I thought about it. I knew I would have to run it by Case, and he probably wasn’t going to like the idea of Alexandra being around the gym. Of course, most of the questionable activity took place only on Friday or Saturday nights. “I suppose it would be all right. Let me talk to the guys about it, but maybe we can give it a trial run tomorrow.”

  Alex’s face lit up. “That would be wonderful. I could just meet you guys down there at three. The lesson could run until three thirty, and hopefully, we wouldn’t have to even adjust the schoolwork for dinnertime.”

  “I don’t think Mama Beth would mind adjusting the time.”

  After giving me a genuine smile, Alex said, “Thank you, Deacon.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  When we remained standing there, staring at each other, Bishop cleared his throat. “You mind leaving us so we can get some more work done?”

  “As long as you keep those hands on your workbook and not her,” I countered.

  Bishop rolled his eyes. “I heard you loud and clear before, brother. Give me some fucking credit.”

  “Better yet, give me some fucking credit,” Alex said.

  Sweeping a hand to his chest, Bishop said, “Ouch. That hurt.”

  Alexandra only giggled. “You’re more trouble than you’re worth.”

  As I watched them, I slowly began to realize that neither one of them looked at the other like they wanted to rip the other person’s clothes off. While Bishop might’ve been jacking off to her earlier, I doubt he was anymore … unless he had a teacher fantasy from years back. I knew then that although he was a horndog, I could trust him around Alex. She was probably the first woman besides our mother that he actually respected, which was saying a hell of a lot.

  Holding my hands up in defeat, I started backing up toward the door. “All right. I’ll go and let you two work.”

  Alex nodded. “So I’ll see you at three tomorrow at the gym?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  After giving me a wave, she turned her attention back to Bishop. Instead of giving me a shit-eating grin that he had her attention and her fine ass sitting beside him, he ducked his head and looked at the workbook.