Pocket Tantric Super Sex
Page 5
STEP 1 Lie or sit down in a comfortable position and start to stroke and caress your genitals. Go slowly and experiment with different types of touch. Let your thoughts linger on a sexual fantasy. Tease yourself: move your hands away occasionally to explore other pleasure zones.
STEP 2 When you’re feeling extremely turned on, start to stimulate your genitals in earnest, as though you’re aiming to have an orgasm. Then, at the last moment – just before you come – take your hand away from your genitals and sweep your palm up the centre of your body to the centre of your chest (the site of your heart chakra – see page 27). At the same time take a fast inhalation of air (fill your lungs), hold your breath and tightly contract your love muscles (see pages 124–5). Visualize all the intense and hot sexual feelings moving up in a straight line from your genitals to your heart.
STEP 3 Hold your breath and the muscle contraction for as long as feels comfortable. Feel your chest expand with tingling warmth (the more you practise this technique, the stronger your heart orgasm will become). Then, exhale and relax your love muscles. At the same time, sweep your hand back down from your heart to your genitals, moving all the sexual energy back down with it. Try this exercise several times in a row before abandoning yourself to a powerful genital orgasm, if you wish to.
Try the heart orgasm exercise while you’re having sex. The partner who is practising the heart orgasm should say “stop” when they are close to climaxing. At this point, you should both stop moving.
SUPPORTED UNION
Use this position to enjoy a blissful Tantric kiss as he moves inside her. A Tantric kiss is simply one in which you stay present with each sensation as it occurs. You can make the kiss slow and tentative, wild and greedy or soft and sensual – but whatever you do, give it your whole-hearted attention. If you find your mind wandering, bring yourself – and your lover – back by trying a new kissing technique. For example, suck the tip of your lover’s tongue, nibble and suck each other’s lips, flick your tongues, or simply rest your parted lips against your lover’s, close your eyes and swoon.
Supported Union is an easier version of Standing Bond (see pages 40–41): it gives you the erotic frisson of having vertical sex but without him having to support her weight. Find the right height surface – table, kitchen counter or chest of drawers – then take up your positions.
pull him in hard
love MUSCLES
You can truly connect with each other by working your love muscles during sex. Also known as pelvic floor muscles, these play an important role in Tantric sex – contracting and relaxing them is an ancient technique that helps you to build sexual energy in your genitals and expand it throughout your body.
STEP 1 Locate your love muscles while lying down on your back or doing a deep squat – they’re the ones you clench when you’re trying not to urinate. When you’re ready, breathe in and contract your love muscles. Try to contract them in isolation – make sure you don’t tense your buttock and abdominal muscles too.
STEP 2 Hold the contraction for a count of ten. As you exhale, release your muscles completely. Make a sound such as “aahhhhhh” if it helps you to let go.
STEP 3 Practise love muscle contractions at least once a day for several minutes at a time. Once you’ve strengthened your love muscles, you can use them to stimulate your partner during sex.
the SECRET language
The “secret language” is a term coined by Tantric teachers Michaels and Johnson. It describes a Tantric style of lovemaking in which you use your love muscles to stimulate each other, but remain otherwise still.
To master the secret language, work on contracting and relaxing your love muscles every day. As this gets easier, introduce more complexity – try pulsing or fluttering your love muscles, too.
When you’ve fine-tuned your muscle control, try having sex in which you abandon the conventional in–out movements of the penis in the vagina and stimulate each other with internal movements instead. He’ll feel her muscle contractions as a squeezing pressure along the length of his shaft. She’ll feel his contractions as pressure against her vaginal wall.
Take turns to “speak” (treat it as a conversation between your muscles). For example: he does three fast pulses and three slow ones; then she replies with the same. Play around with different speeds and rhythms. Treat this as a fun and playful way to tease and stimulate each other.
THIGH GRIP
Take advantage of the fact that you’re not facing each other by “speaking” the secret language (see page 125) using your love muscles. This will help you to stay in touch with each other and keep you stimulated. She climbs on top with her back to him and he bends his knees to enclose her between his thighs.
WOMEN Sit tall with your spine straight, then close your eyes and focus on the ebb and flow of your breath. Take long, deep breaths that go all the way down to your genitals.
MEN Breathe in time with her and sweep your hands up her spine as she breathes out, and down her spine as she breathes in.
OCEAN OF PLEASURE
This sexy position is a Tantric treat for the eyes – you may not be able to see each other’s faces but you can angle your heads to see the erotic seal between your bodies. Ocean of Pleasure is also an excellent way of giving her a three-handed back massage (see pages 100–101). She relaxes as she leans forward and uses his legs for support. He, meanwhile, can flex his penis inside her while massaging her back.
MEN Rub warm massage oil down the length of her back, then try a variety of hand strokes: flat hand-over-hand stroking; drawing your fingertips in a firm line on either side of her spine; and a light, barely-there touch. Move from firm strokes to soft ones.
oil PLAY
If you want a combination of sensual play, sex and massage, nothing beats this oil slide. Make your bodies slick with oil, then slip and slide into blissful abandon.
Take turns to oil each other all over. Do this in any way you like: playfully, by standing astride your lover and squirting them; sensually, by massaging the oil into their skin with your hands; or provocatively, by drizzling the oil onto their erogenous zones. Leave no body part untouched – include the hair and the scalp. Ask your partner to lie on their back and, having checked that their body is slick with oil, kneel between their legs and slide yourself on top.
Caution – because your oiled skin offers so little friction, you can slide at quite a speed on your lover’s body. To avoid bumps and bruises, use your hands to support yourself.
SKIN-TO-SKIN massage
Use your whole body as a massage tool, being as creative as you can.
Take it in turns to be the giver and receiver.
• Rub your oiled head against your lover’s genitals.
• Slide up and down on the front of your lover.
• Sit astride them and then slide down their thighs.
• Roll your lover over and slide your chest/breasts over their buttocks.
• Slide your feet up the backs of their thighs while sitting between their feet
• Dive along their body starting at the feet and then again starting at the head.
• Balance on top of them, then let yourself slide off onto the floor.
Now slip and slide in unison. Forget that this started out as a massage and give yourself up to pure hedonistic play. Picture yourselves as a couple of playful seals sliding, tumbling and frolicking. Squeeze more oil onto each other to keep your skin as slippery as possible.
At this point it’s easy to start having sex, but tease each other for as long as possible before you surrender. Or have sex that stops and starts so that there’s only penetration some of the time. See where your movements take you …
INFLAME EACH OTHER WITH LOVING ENERGY
Try this AMAZING mouth-to-mouth breathing technique to really ignite your LOVEMAKING. While you’re in the Yab Yum position (see pages 136–7), put your mouths TOGETHER so that your lips form a seal. Now inhale and exhale DIRECTLY into each other’s mouth so that you
share one BREATH. Concentrate entirely on the ebb and flow of breath – try to GIVE yourselves up to it.
LOTUS POSITION
The taut compact position of her body feels incredibly sexy for both of you. To get into position she starts by sitting upright in the Lotus Position (if she can’t bend her legs into Lotus, she can sit in a cross-legged position), then she rolls onto her back and draws her knees towards her belly. He kneels and then deeply penetrates her.
WOMEN The delicious stretching sensations in your thighs and groin can make this an incredibly powerful position. Even though your legs are tightly bound, try to luxuriate in a sense of softness and openness throughout your whole body.
MEN As you move inside your lover, try the Tantric practice of focusing on the tiny details of lovemaking. For example, the way her yoni grips your lingam, the way your breath feels as it enters and leaves your body or the sensations in your buttocks or scrotum.
lotus pond MEDITATION
After lovemaking, hold each other and synchronize your breathing. As you bask in a state of peaceful connection, imagine you’re lying on soft cushions in the bottom of a wooden boat. It’s a warm, balmy night and the boat is floating in the middle of a lotus pond being gently rocked by small ripples. Surrounding the boat are hundreds of beautiful white lotus flowers. The sky is lit by the pale yellow moonlight and the brightness of the stars. As you visualize this scene, make your breathing deep and relaxing. Drift off to sleep if you feel like it.
feel the erotic tension mount
STANDING DOG
It’s erotic and immediate – he takes her from behind as she rests on all fours. He enjoys the thrill of entering her deeply and she experiences the ecstasy of his penis against her goddess spot (see pages 90–91).
Use this position to observe what happens to your body and breath when you abandon yourselves to fast thrusting. Once you’re familiar with your responses to intense genital friction, you’ll be better able to delay orgasm when you choose to. As you approach the point of no-return, notice whether you hold your breath or whether you pant. Is your breath deep, gasping, rapid or shallow? Note also whether you contract your muscles, and, if so, which ones.
Next time you have sex in this position (or any other that invites fast movement and orgasm), make a conscious effort to breathe in a different way. For example, if you normally hold your breath, try breathing slowly and deeply at orgasm.
feel the joy of spontaneous lust
YAB YUM
This is the classic position for Tantric sex. Yab Yum means “position of the mother and father” and the posture symbolizes the divine union of the masculine and feminine. It’s a warm, intimate face-to-face position, in which your bodies are closely pressed together. Yab Yum is an ideal position in which to gaze into each other’s eyes and practise Tantric breathing techniques.
To get into position, he sits with his legs crossed. She straddles him in a face-to-face position and rests her feet on the floor. Neither of you can move freely, but this makes it easier to concentrate on internal sensations and the flow of sexual energy inside your bodies.
You can build up sexual energy in this position by rocking your pelvises so that his penis rubs against her clitoris and moves slightly in and out of her vagina. Amplify the sensations by using your breath as a tool.
merge & become one
EROTIC servant
One of you is the servant and the other is the pleasure-seeker in this highly erotic game. Then you switch over. In Tantric terms, the purpose is to explore your inner man (your yang aspect) and your inner woman (your yin aspect).
Although the erotic servant game has elements in common with master-and-slave-type role-play, it’s not the same. Your aim is not to play power games, but to open yourself up to your most deeply held wishes and to discover the joy of giving, nurturing and honouring.
SEEK pleasure
If you’re in the yang role of pleasure-seeker, your job is to get in touch with your sexual, sensual and romantic wishes and ask your lover to grant them. Remember, you can request anything you want, no matter how outrageous or embarrassing (your lover can always say “no” if you request something they can’t give). Here are some examples – “I want you to”:
• Give me a whole-body massage, then make love to me
• Use a sex toy on me
• Have a long, sexy bath with me
• Talk dirty to me during sex
• Gaze into my eyes without stopping
• Dribble champagne into my mouth from yours
• Tie my wrists together and gently stroke me
• Worship me with your body
• Pay me compliments while we have sex
• Kiss me without stopping
• Massage me with your breasts
• Have sex with me on the table.
As your lover grants your requests, allow yourself to be swept away by pleasure. Share your appreciative moans with your erotic servant.
SERVE up pleasure
If you’re in the yin role of erotic servant, relish the opportunity to give selflessly. If there’s an act you feel you can’t do, be honest about it, but try to tell your lover with compassion. Then, devote yourself to doing everything else wholeheartedly. Discover that giving can be equally – or more – erotic than receiving.
QUIET POSITION
Enjoy complete serenity and oneness in this slow and sensual position. He sits with his legs out in front of him; she climbs on top. Make yourselves comfortable so you can stay here a while (he can support his back by leaning against a bank of pillows).
Once he’s inside her, you can stimulate each other with your love muscles (see pages 124–5) while giving yourself up to a passionate mouth-to-mouth kiss. Make it a long, deep tongue-kiss. Many couples spend hours kissing in the falling-in-love stage of a relationship, but then neglect it. Imagine you’ve never kissed your lover before – this is an opportunity to taste them, smell them and explore their mouth with your lips and tongue. Get lost in the softness of your lips touching and the tender melting sensations of your twirling tongues.
ENCIRCLING EMBRACE
This is perfect for practising the Tantric art of letting arousal come and go. Alternate periods of sexy movements with more sensual periods of kissing and cuddling. She loosely wraps her legs around his body and presses her feet together.
WOMEN During the quieter phases, pull your lover’s face towards yours for a passionate kiss – probe deeply with your tongue.
MEN Instead of the thrusting or pumping movements of typical manon-top sex, slow things down. Move smoothly inside your lover but with no intention of ejaculating. Experiment with lying completely still inside her. Use these quiet times to get in tune with your lover – watch her face, listen to her sounds and feel the small, subtle movements of her body beneath yours. If your erection disappears, don’t worry – trust that it will come back again.
ABANDON YOURSELF AND LOSE CONTROL
The spiritual teacher, Osho, suggested that lovers should EXPERIMENT with LOSING CONTROL during sex. Do it in a place where you have plenty of space and, as you tap into INTENSE feelings, let your movements become increasingly WILD and unconstrained. Writhe against each other. ROLL into different positions. Let yourselves bump, crash and collide, and FEEL the PLEASURE rippling through your body.
INDEX
Ankle Clasp 50–51
Ascending Position 54–5
Belly Dance 30–31
blindfolding 34, 58–9
breath,
awareness 104–5
breathing,
mouth-to-mouth 130–31
rhythmic 124–5
synchronizing the 109
chakra
breathing 78–9, 107, 110–11, 120
map 27, 110
see also heart chakra; sacral chakra; root chakra; crown chakra
chakras 9, 26–7, 99, 111, 144
open 84
Clasp, The 77
Close Union 7
6
control, losing 142–3
Cross-legged 32
Crouching Dog 98
Crouching Shakti 99
crown chakra 111
Elephant Position 42–3
Encircling Embrace 141
Eroticizer 22–3
eye gazing 77, 119
Feminine Essence 76, 82–3
Fitting of the Sock 58
Gesture of Namaste 20
Glorious Goddess 92–3
goddess spot 48, 49, 61, 78, 90–91, 93, 135
see also G–spot
G-spot 90–91
see also goddess spot
haven, erotic 38–9, 66, 110
heart chakra 27, 74, 105, 120
honouring each other 20–21
Hungry Tiger 48
inner man (yin aspect) 138–9
inner woman (yang aspect) 138–9
Junction, The 17
Kali 9
lingam 9, 31, 37, 42, 48, 99, 106
caress 80–81, 97
Lotus
Flower 113
Position 132
lotus pond meditation 133
love muscles 32, 48, 51, 65, 68, 73, 79, 81, 88, 93, 107, 115, 120, 121, 124–5, 126, 140
Love’s Union 14–15
massage
fingertip 66–7
lingam 80–81
oil 127, 128
skin-to-skin 129
three-handed
for her 100–101, 127
for him 96–7
water 52–3
yoni 74–5
Merging Position 108–9
Mounted Yantra 16
Ocean of Pleasure 127