My Savage

by Ellie Jean

  “What,” Slate answers, his voice harsh.

  “You fuckers. This is my fucking wedding day!” Slate growls and is ready to tear into the phone and grab whoever it is through the cell and destroy them. Caden grabs the phone and hits speaker.

  “You think payment is enough? You stupid bastards are so fucking high and mighty. No one messes with the Rasino Brothers and the death of your brother-in-law cements how fucking easy it is to get to The Savages.”

  Pounding swamps my ears and I hear nothing else.

  My eyes scan my sister, Tanner’s still applying pressure and our eyes lock. Fierce and black, Tanner doesn’t move, acid explodes within, burning from my stomach up, my body tightens and my teeth clench harshly. We are both thinking the same damn thing.

  Kyle.

  He’s bought this upon us.

  Yet Kyle’s still fucking standing.

  And my sister is laying shot in a pool of her own blood.

  Kyle is the fucking reason for all of this mayhem.

  There’s no red tinge blinding my vision, or darkness, only clear eyes spearing my prey.

  Pouncing like a jaguar, Kyle stumbles as I jump on his back, using my arm as a headlock around his neck. Mumbles leave his lips, but I continue heaving myself back, applying more pressure to his neck. Rage encapsulates each of my nerves, muscles, and limbs, and fuck I want to snap his neck so badly.

  Kyle jolts awkwardly, my body stumbling with his to the ground. Wrestling on the dirt, I slam my fist into his face. Wild and obsessed, I throw jabs in his stomach. His squealing only fuels my strength.

  “You fucking prick, this is all on you.”

  A lucky kick hits my leg, disconnecting me from his.

  Standing above him, my body wound tight, I pull him up. Blood coats his arm and his face is bruising. A wail of the ambulance siren in the distance reminds me about my sister.

  Slamming my fist into his gut, his legs wobble and he exhales air out clutching forward.

  I’m merciless.

  My hands refuse to stop.

  Punch after punch, jab after jab, my fists land in every section of his body until he collapses on the ground.

  A terrified scream tears through me.

  Jerking my head to the side, Phoebe stands near my sister. Her eyes wide and terror is written across her face.

  Manic and savage, I need to stay away from Phoebe. Her body tells me all I need to know.

  Seeing a side of me I hoped she would never see.

  Uncontrolled and restless, I lean down to Melody and there’s no change. “Has she moved? Said anything?” My breath is ragged.

  “No, man.” Tanner has taken his shirt and placed it on top of Melody’s chest, soaking up the blood that refuses to stop gushing out. “The ambulance is close, O.”

  “Mel, hold in there.”

  There’s a flutter of her eyes and I lay down next to her on the ground, my face next to hers like we would do when we were children, watching the stars, making impossible wishes on the falling stars. We’d wished hundreds of times that our father would take an interest in us. That he would make us and Mom a priority. Some nights, we would watch from the back yard and wish for another sibling, thinking this would solve everyone’s problems. Melody had an ulterior motive, wanting a sister to annoy and do hair and makeup with. Stupid kids’ thoughts mainly, but after that fateful summer camp, our time together under the night sky turned into a place where we would catch up and have some time for ourselves, catching up on weeks of sibling antics. It was rare and so fucking special looking back on it now.

  “I love you, Melody.” Gripping her cold hand, she gives a faint squeeze.

  “You can fight this.” My chest thumps still, but the stars give me something to focus on other than the inferno slicing me.

  A faint whisper leaves her mouth, her eyes remain closed. “You have your soul now. Love her with everything, Ocean.”

  Nodding at her words, my stomach plummets, my heart splinters, pulsating fear and desolation eats through my entire body.

  “I love you, big brother.” Small and weak, her voice hardly registering, my eyes watch her pale mouth.

  She has to focus on herself. “Save your strength.”

  Red lights blast across the darkness, the wail of the siren switches off.

  Not wanting to move from my little sister, I stay sidled next to her. I can’t leave her like this. I’m her rock, her foundation, the one who listens to her pathetic stories about men who need a fucking good beating for treating her so badly, I’m the one who fixes her problems before she knows they need fixing. Helping her sort her crap out brings me closer to her, always wanting her to think I can solve her problems when in fact she gave me a purpose. As her brother, I need to give her warmth and strength.

  Men with equipment rush forward and I refuse to move.

  “Sir, we need you to move.”

  Scared that if I do, she will evaporate into the night air, I stay put, holding her hand to keep her here with me. I can’t let her go.

  It’s been me and her for so long taking care of each other when no one else gave a fuck. I won’t abandon my sister.

  “We need to help her, sir.”

  Sitting up, casting my eyes down on top of Melody, the blood’s stained all of her bright dress, only the edges of the skirt remain orange. Her face is pale and there’re no signs of life. Melody is so still.

  My vision blurs, and my hand squeezes her petite hand hard. “Wake up, Mel. Please, for me. Do it for me.”

  Arms grab my shoulders and they peel my body away. The paramedics dive in and start working on her. Swinging my head like a crazed animal, Tanner and Caden hold me enough to stop myself from plowing through the men who are trying to save my sister.

  Fuck…

  My little sister needs saving.

  She’s dying.

  I heave in air. It grates on my throat like I’ve swallowed sawdust.

  Exhale.

  Another breath in. Raw and exposed, my throat constricts.

  Exhale.

  The men work on her chest with determination. Her body moving only when touched by them.

  Shaking my arms to break from my restraints, I continue my breathing routine. “I’m good.”

  “You sure?” Tanner releases me.

  “Yeah.”

  Caden lets me go and I stay put, watching my sister die in front of me and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

  A ripple of tingles spreads through my body. My heart races and my eyes close exploring the sensation soaring through me. The thudding stops and my breaths cease.

  My mind’s blank.

  Choking on the lack of air, my eyes fly open.

  “Noooo.” A guttural roar slashes out and I run through the men and place my head on her chest, my hand across her face trying to feel any air escaping.

  Nothing is there.

  No air.

  No rising of her chest.

  I’d felt her leave.

  Melody’s gone.

  My eyes squeeze shut and I refuse to look at her face. My muscles tighten and I roar again.

  “Melody’s dead. She’s dead.” Sagging against her body, dizziness circles me. My voice is scratchy and heavy. “My little sister is gone.”

  Sobbing into her, my body wracks in agony.

  No one comes near me or says a word.

  I’ve entered a black hole and am surrounded by nothing.

  Despair, desolation, and pain swim within.

  Raising my head, I look quickly at my sister and wipe her hair from her face, brushing it from her eyes. The curves of her cheeks are cold and her lips are slightly parted. Wetness runs from my eyes.

  I can’t look at her.

  Standing abruptly, I look at my family. Phoebe’s heads down, the rest of the women gone.

  “Who fucking shot my sister?”

  Eyes flick from the men to each other, trying to keep themselves from catching my glare.

  What the fuck?
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  “Slate.” I try to compose my voice, rubbing my face in frustration. “Who the fuck gunned down my sister in cold blood on your wedding day?”

  Standing rigidly, his eyes flick to Phoebe then back to me.

  My head shakes involuntarily from side to side.

  Another bomb explodes inside.

  The universe is finally repaying me for all the bloodshed and brutality I’ve given it.

  “The fucker we’ve been tracking all week,” Caden speaks and my eyes watch Phoebe carefully, having already put two and two together.

  “I will kill him.”

  Her blue tired eyes snap to mine. A sadness resigned in them.

  Mania cripples my rational thinking.

  This fucker ruined Phoebe’s childhood and has now taken away from me the one person who knew me better than myself.

  The one person who has loved me unconditionally.

  The person I would talk to every day and have dinner with every week. She thought I did it to make sure she wasn’t doing something stupid or to see if I could fix anything for her, but I called and saw her because she was my sister and I enjoyed her company knowing she was there for me no matter who I hurt, killed or fucked over. Melody didn’t care. I was her brother first and foremost.

  There’re no words.

  I can’t tell her I’m going to kill her brother, when my sister lays before us?

  Striding to Melody, I kiss her cooling cheek.

  “Goodbye, sis. I will always love…” Unable to finish, I walk away from her. I walk away from my family and from the woman whose brother I must kill.

  Silence and darkness envelop me.

  Revenge my priority.

  “I will kill him.”

  Ocean’s words replay in my head for the thousandth time.

  Tanner had taken Caden and me from the scene after the paramedics had put Melody on a stretcher and they had declared her dead. Slate was finishing putting a very battered Kyle into his car when I decided I’d had enough and sat alone in Tanner’s car. I asked him to take me to my place, not Ocean’s of which he agreed.

  He needed space.

  I needed quiet.

  Searching my apartment before they would leave me in there alone, I thanked them when they both left me on the doorstep, sadness on their faces echoing mine.

  Locking the door with the multiple latches, I walked heavily into the bathroom, kicking off my heels, shedding the fabric I had been excited to wear only hours ago.

  How minutes can change the course of a life.

  Hurt was a part of life.

  Excruciating pain happened.

  Humans hurt others. It might be calculated or coincidental but there was no escaping it. I’d tried multiple times, but it kept hunting me down.

  Hot water cascades over my weak body, my mind circling on repeat.

  Melody’s dead. My brother killed her. Ocean’s unadulterated rage. My brother dying at the hands of the man I need.

  Tears trickle down my face and I crumble to the floor. My knees bend and I wrap my arms around them, rocking.

  Sobs echo in the bathroom.

  For the loss of Ocean’s sister.

  For Emerald and Slate.

  For the realization of the savagery lying within Ocean.

  For the pain lodged in Ocean that will never disappear.

  For losing our connection. How will he be able to look at me again, knowing my flesh and blood killed his?

  I had already come to terms that Colton would cease to exist if Ocean found him. I saw it in Ocean’s eyes the day my brother almost killed me.

  I was at peace with it.

  Hearing Ocean growl the words “I will kill him” put reality into the situation though.

  I hate my brother. Nothing good comes from him and my life derails when he is near.

  He needs to be far away from me.

  But dead?

  In my heart, I know it’s the only way I will be able to live any type of life. I’d already put it on hold because of him and my father.

  Even coming to terms completely with it, I’m not sure if Ocean will be able to see past the family connection in the death of his sister.

  Shaking my head, my body spasms uncontrollably.

  I let it.

  Desolation, betrayal, loss, and hurt ravage me until there’s nothing more to leave my body. Standing and turning the cold water off, my reflection startles me. Red-rimmed eyes stare back. Crevices mark my face from where my hands have rested, my nose red, my lips fat. I’m a hideous mess.

  Wrapping my body in a towel, I fall onto the bed exhausted.

  My eyes shut but spring open hearing my cell ring.

  My body won’t allow me to move, my eyes shut again and my shallow breaths even out.

  Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring…

  My lids peel back, and my legs move slowly, retrieving the cell from the bag dropped in the middle of the walkway.

  “Hello,” I mumble and walk back to the bedroom.

  “Phoebe. It’s Lace. I wanted to check in with you. Are you okay?”

  Closing my eyes, I breathe out. “Yes. No. But mainly yes.”

  “I understand. It’s been a day from hell.”

  “Yep.”

  “We wanted you to know that security has been stationed at the front of your apartment and the back. Ocean’s orders.”

  My heart jolts hearing his name.

  “The security didn’t do Melody much good.” Blank and withdrawn, I shouldn’t have said that.

  “No, it didn’t. But she died saving Kyle. That was the type of person she was.”

  A savior like her brother.

  “Oh.” Curling into a tight ball, I manage to breathe. “How is everyone else?”

  I want to ask how Ocean is, but I already know.

  “Emerald’s shattered. She’s trying to comprehend Kyle’s gambling leading to the death of Melody. She hasn’t seen him battered and bruised ‘cause Slate’s got him away from everyone. Caden said he’s been taken somewhere to heal and rehabilitate.”

  “Ocean nearly killed him.”

  “If Tanner had his way, he would be dead already but Slate won’t allow it.”

  “I understand. He’s caught in a hard place for sure.”

  “Slate’s taking Emerald on a trip for a few days to get her mind off the tragedies.”

  “Good idea.” My speech slurs a little, my head thumps. “Has anyone seen Ocean?”

  “The guys have spoken to him. He’s in a dark place, Phoebe.”

  “I know. And my brother did this to his family.” I choke on my words.

  “It’s not your fault and he knows it but he’s in shock and all he knows is that he must fix the source of his anger and loss. No one can reach him when he’s like this.”

  I’d cringed in fear watching him pummel Kyle. His eyes dead and his fists attacking another human with no regard for the life he was about to end. Pure hatred directed at Kyle, furious and relentless he’d slammed him, my thoughts ran back to my childhood when fists were used on me. The fury I’d witnessed in my father’s eyes were echoed in Ocean’s.

  “I don’t think I will be able to reach him again.” Resigned and weary, I pull the blanket up.

  “Give it time.”

  “Goodnight Lace and thanks for checking in.” Hanging up, the cell falls onto the bed and numbness spreads over me.

  I thought we had an endless amount of time to explore us.

  Ocean promising he wouldn’t shatter me any further but mend me.

  I didn’t think it would be me shattering him.

  My brother successfully ruining anything good I have.

  If Ocean talks to me again, it will be a miracle.

  “It’s time to crush them.”

  Coldness entered my body hours ago and I’m frozen from the core, out. Revulsion slid through my veins, with each tick of the clock, sending me far away into an abyss. My exterior showed complete control, my interior burning alive, scorched, and ravag
ed entirely.

  “I want in,” Slate commands.

  “This is your wedding night. It’s already ruined, stay with Emerald, she needs you.”

  “You know where they are? After this, I’m taking Emerald away but I need this fucker gone.” Slate will be out the door already.

  “Watching the fuckers right now. I’ll message you where.” I hit end.

  Leaving my sister, cold and on the ground was insensitive but the only other option was going ballistic in front of Phoebe. Seeing me attack Kyle was enough, her eyes showcasing her horror clearly.

  I had to go.

  Watching her die next to me is something I won’t forget, but the shrill scream down the cell when I spoke to my mother will be embedded inside me forever. My blood curdled, my heart thundered listening to her wailing and pleading that I got it wrong.

  Hell, I would give my own life to have Melody’s bright face and bubbly personality alive on this planet instead of my twisted, manic ass. She brought pleasure to the world, I only bring suffering.

  If I was a sensitive son, I would have waited for my father and mother to be on the call together, but it couldn’t wait. Blurting out matter of factly, I explained which hospital her body was being taken to and asked her to organize the funeral for when she thought they could come back from Australia. Unable to understand a word she spoke, I hung up.

  “You fuckers don’t know what’s about to hit you.” Lighting a joint, I lay my head back on the leather upholstery and breathe in deeply. Three of the brothers went inside their workshop ten minutes ago. The head of their family will be inside already. Knowing their routine as well as everyone’s that could pose a problem to us, they should be out in about twenty minutes. With or without Slate, I will be taking them out tonight.

  Inhaling more smoke, I think back to hours ago after I spoke to Mother, emotionally drained and driving around in circles going nowhere.

  “We’re taking Phoebe back to her own apartment. She’s asked us.”

  “No, you’re fucking not. She needs to be at my place so her fucked up brother doesn’t kill her as well.”

  “I think she needs her own space, O. She’s skittish, like a caged mouse.”

  “Goddamnit, T.” I curse like an idiot. “Make sure there’s no one inside and get our top guys on her, back and front of the apartment.”