Cookies and Cheer

by Amy Clipston

She gestured at the crowd behind him. “You could say that. Can you believe this?”

  He shook his head. “No. I’ve come to check on you. I was hoping you’d let me know how you were doing.”

  “I’m sorry.” She gestured around the bakery. “You can see what’s been keeping me busy.”

  “Alyssa!” Denise poked her head out from the kitchen and looked at Alyssa. “We need to start baking more chocolate cakes. The shelf is empty.”

  “I’ll be there in a minute,” Alyssa said as Denise moved past her. Then she looked up at Kyle. “I’m sorry, but I have to get back to work.”

  “Wait.” He held up his hand. “I know you said we’d have to wait to go out until after Christmas, but you have to eat sometime. How about I take you to supper tonight? I can wait for you as long as necessary.”

  “I’m sure I’ll need to work too late for that.” She grimaced. “I’ll see you Sunday at church.”

  “At church?” He studied her, looking for the sign of a joke. “I can’t even visit you tomorrow evening? Or maybe Saturday evening?”

  “Alyssa!” a voice called from the kitchen. “We need you back here!”

  Alyssa touched his arm. “I’m sorry. I have to go. But danki for coming by.”

  Before he could respond, she disappeared into the kitchen, leaving him standing there with frustration boiling in his gut. He hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye.

  He looked out at the chaos in the bakery, and his chest constricted with hurt. For years he’d liked Alyssa from afar, and now . . . Was he losing her? Why couldn’t he manage to hold her attention even when she was busy? Or was her busyness just an excuse to pull away from him? The thought that she might have changed her mind about him was painful.

  Alyssa stepped into her kitchen Friday night and found her parents sitting at the table. Her heart felt like a lump of ice as she took in the deep scowls lining their faces. Had someone died?

  “Was iss letz?” Her voice sounded thin and shaky to her.

  “Why did you stay after your schweschder came home tonight?” Dat asked.

  “Oh. Didn’t Jenne Lynn tell you I had work to do?” Alyssa said, explaining as she sat down. “I spent all afternoon baking more Christmas kichlin, and then I had to put them in boxes to sell tomorrow. By staying later, I was able to get ahead on my work before—”

  “You’ve missed supper with the family every night this week,” Dat said. “Suppertime is when families come together after working hard all day. You’re supposed to be here.” He pointed his finger toward the wood tabletop.

  Alyssa swallowed against her suddenly dry throat. “I know, but the bakery is so busy that I—”

  “I’m tired of hearing about how busy the bakery is,” Dat continued. “You’re a part of this family, and I expect you to be here. We miss you.” He pointed at her mother. “And your mamm needs your help.”

  Alyssa’s lip trembled with guilt. “But Christmas is almost here, and that means the rush will stop. I’ll make it up—”

  Mamm shook her head. “No. You need to stop saying it will all be over after Christmas. We need to prepare for Christmas now. Your schweschder finished the Christmas cards while we were waiting for you to get home today. She and I also did our shopping and finished our baking on Wednesday while you were at work. Everything is done, and you haven’t been a part of it. It’s always been our tradition that we make the cards, bake, and shop together. But you weren’t with us.”

  “I’m sorry.” Alyssa choked on a sob as her tears broke free. “I didn’t mean to miss out on it.”

  “We miss you.” Mamm reached over and handed Alyssa a napkin before touching her arm. “The point of the season is to prepare for the coming of our Savior as a family. You’ve become so caught up in the hustle and bustle at the bakery that you’ve forgotten the point of it all.”

  Alyssa sniffed as she wiped at her eyes and nose.

  “You need to take a step back and think about what’s happened during the past few weeks. This is an important part of what makes us Amish: we work hard, but we always make time for our family and togetherness. Our family is much more important than pleasing customers. Constantly putting family aside hurts everyone, even when a freind needs help. I know Denise would agree if she realized the toll this is taking.” Dat’s tone had warmed along with his expression. “You still have time to prepare your heart for Christ, but you can’t do it if you’re rushing around worrying about Christmas kichlin.”

  Alyssa struggled to keep more threatening tears at bay. “I never meant to hurt my family.”

  “We know that.” Mamm pursed her lips. “But we need you to start thinking about us now.”

  Mamm stood and retrieved a bowl from the oven. The spicy aroma of chili filled the kitchen, causing Alyssa’s empty stomach to growl. Lunch had been several hours ago.

  “Danki,” Alyssa said as Mamm set the bowl in front of her. “My favorite.”

  Mamm smiled. “I know. I’m going to go help Jenne Lynn finish stamping the Christmas cards.” She headed toward the family room.

  “I need to check on the animals.” Dat stood and started for the mudroom.

  In a flash, both her parents were gone, and Alyssa sat alone in the kitchen. Her spoon scraping against the bowl as she ate the delicious chili provided the only sound filling the large room.

  Her parents’ words rolled over her as crushing guilt pressed on her shoulders. She’d been so caught up in the excitement of the window display and the needs at the bakery that she’d forgotten the most important part of the Christmas season—preparing for Jesus.

  Then her thoughts moved to yesterday, when Kyle stopped by the bakery. She recalled their quick conversation and how she’d rushed back to the kitchen when he’d suggested they spend time together, putting him off until Sunday to even see her.

  Jenne Lynn told her later that Kyle looked upset when he left the bakery. At first Alyssa was confused and didn’t understand why he would be angry with her. But then she realized she’d cut their conversation short and all but dismissed him. He must have felt just as forgotten as her family did. How could she expect God to protect their relationship if she wasn’t willing to do the same?

  Her heart squeezed as her eyes burned with more tears. She had hurt Kyle and she had to make it up to him—not later but now. How could she have done that to her sweet boyfriend? He deserved better. He’d gone out of his way to help her with the cookie nativity, and she had pushed him away in favor of the bakery. The tears spilled at the thought of breaking his heart.

  She hoped her family and Kyle would forgive her for her mistakes. She couldn’t lose them.

  Closing her eyes, she sent up a silent prayer.

  God, please forgive me for being too dismissive of the needs of my family and for how I’ve treated Kyle. Forgive me for neglecting to prepare my heart for the celebration that is Christmas. Help me fix the rift I created between Kyle and me, and please provide a way for me to spend more time with my family and Kyle without leaving Denise in the lurch. Only You can provide the solution I need.

  As she opened her eyes, she felt the peace she’d been lacking for weeks. She’d finally turned to God for help, and she knew He would work this out—somehow.

  8

  “MAY I TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF AN EXTENDED LUNCH TODAY?” Alyssa asked Denise as they stood in the bakery kitchen the next morning.

  “Of course.” Denise looked over at her. “Why? Or am I being too personal?”

  Alyssa fingered her rolling pin as embarrassment crept up her neck. “I just haven’t done any Christmas shopping, and I’m running out of time.”

  Denise looked at her for a moment, then said, “I’m not surprised. You’ve been working so many extra hours for me.” She glanced up at the clock. “It’s eleven. Go now.”

  “Thank you,” Alyssa said.

  Denise shooed her away with her hand. “Get going while it’s relatively quiet.”

  Alyssa pulled off her apron, and after pu
tting on her coat, she rushed out the back door to the hardware store next door.

  Later that evening, Alyssa and Jenne Lynn walked up their farm’s driveway together.

  “Mamm and Dat will be so froh to see us walk in the door together.” Jenne Lynn slung her arm over Alyssa’s shoulder. “Supper hasn’t been the same without you.”

  “Danki.” Alyssa smiled at her younger sister. “I’m glad to be home on time too.”

  They shucked their coats in the mudroom and then stepped into the kitchen, where the delicious aroma of beef stew tantalized Alyssa’s senses.

  “Hello,” Alyssa sang as she set her shopping bags on the floor by the doorway. Mamm gasped at the sight of her. Then Alyssa walked over to the counter and hugged her. “How was your day?”

  Mamm laughed. “It was gut, mei liewe. How was yours?”

  “It was gut too.” Alyssa walked over to the head of the table and kissed Dat’s cheek. “How was yours?”

  “Fine.” Dat raised an eyebrow. “You’re awfully chipper.”

  “I’m just froh to be home with my family.” Alyssa glanced over at Jenne Lynn, who studied her with something that resembled suspicion. “Do you need help, Mamm?”

  “No, danki.” Mamm set the large pot of stew in the center of the table. “I have everything ready, so let’s eat.”

  Alyssa took her usual seat across from her sister and bowed her head in silent prayer. Then she filled her bowl with her mother’s amazing stew before smiling at Jenne Lynn.

  “What did you buy today, Alyssa?” Mamm pointed to the bags in the corner of the kitchen.

  “Christmas gifts.” Alyssa pinned Jenne Lynn with a glare. “No peeking!”

  Jenne Lynn held up her hands. “I won’t look. I promise.”

  “How did you manage to get your shopping done?” Dat asked.

  “I asked Denise if I could take a longer lunch today, and she agreed.” Alyssa set her spoon on her napkin and took a deep breath. It was time for her to say the words she’d been practicing in her head all day. “I’m sorry for losing sight of what’s important this time of year.” She worked to keep her voice confident despite her swirling anxiety. “I realize now that I was too focused on the busyness of the bakery instead of on our family.” She looked at her sister and then at her parents as fresh worry seemed to settle in the pit of her stomach. Was she asking too much? “Will you forgive me?”

  “Of course we forgive you.” Mamm reached over and rubbed Alyssa’s shoulder. “We love you.”

  “Your mamm is right,” Dat added. “You’re our dochder. You’re always forgiven.”

  “I forgive you too,” Jenne Lynn said.

  “Danki.” Alyssa fought back her raging emotions. “We’ll still have a wonderful Christmas.”

  “That’s right.” Jenne Lynn swirled her fork through the air, and Alyssa laughed.

  “I have exciting news too,” Alyssa said. “This afternoon Denise asked her cousin to help at the bakery until the Christmas rush is over—and even through the end of the year because some of her new customers have said they’ll want baked goods for New Year’s celebrations. Her cousin agreed! That means from now on I’ll be home on time.” And it means God answered my prayer!

  Mamm clapped her hands. “That’s wunderbaar.”

  “I’m so froh.” Dat beamed.

  After cleaning the kitchen with her mother and sister, Alyssa climbed the stairs to her bedroom and then locked the door. She needed to create Christmas cards to go with her gifts for the family—undisturbed by her curious sister.

  She breathed a sigh of relief as she recalled her family’s forgiveness at supper. Now she just had to face Kyle. If only he’d be as happy to see her on Christmas Eve as she would be to see him.

  Alyssa’s hands shook as she stood on Kyle’s front porch and knocked on the door. She glanced down at her bag of gifts and hoped he would invite her inside to spend time with him.

  Five days had passed since she’d seen him at the bakery, and at church on Sunday he’d busied himself with setting up for lunch and talking with some of the other men. He seemed distant, and they’d hardly spoken. Now she was nervous about seeing him. Not only had she failed to apologize to him at church, but she also hadn’t called before she asked her father’s driver to take her to his house today. She was praying he’d be more prone to forgiving her on Christmas Eve, even if she didn’t deserve it.

  The door swung open, and Marietta smiled. “Alyssa!” she announced as she waved her inside. “It’s so gut to see you.”

  “Frehlicher Grischtdaag!” Alyssa handed Marietta a bag. “I brought something for you and Abram.”

  “Danki.” Marietta pulled out the homemade fudge and box of assorted cookies. “These smell appeditlich! This is fantastic.” She held out her arms to take Alyssa’s coat. “I assume you want to see Kyle.”

  “Ya.” Alyssa hesitated. “Is he available?”

  “Of course he is. Come on in.” Marietta hung her coat and then walked over to the stairs. “Kyle! You have company!” She gestured toward the sofa. “Please have a seat here in the schtupp. He’ll be right down.”

  “Danki.” Alyssa sat down on the sofa.

  “Would you like something to drink?” Marietta offered.

  “No, danki.”

  “Okay. Well, please tell me if you change your mind.” Marietta turned and walked toward the kitchen.

  Soon footfalls echoed in the stairwell, and Alyssa stood. She fiddled with the handles on the bag in her hand as Kyle appeared at the bottom of the stairs. He stopped and studied her as she took in that same handsome face and honey-brown eyes. Her body trembled with worry.

  “Frehlicher Grischtdaag,” she said, her voice quiet and unsure as he studied her.

  “Merry Christmas,” he echoed in English as he walked over to her. “I didn’t expect to see you today.”

  “I’m so sorry, Kyle.” She tried to swallow against the lump in her throat. “The way I treated you at the bakery last week was wrong, and I don’t blame you for avoiding me at church on Sunday. I never meant to hurt you. But I was so caught up in the craziness at the bakery that I lost sight of what Christmas is about. I’ve been taught it’s about preparing for the coming of our Savior. About spending time with our family and remembering to thank God for all our blessings. About spending time with everyone we care about, but . . .”

  He nodded, but his expression remained unconvinced, perhaps doubting her sincerity. Could she blame him?

  “Please listen to me.” She closed the distance between them and placed her hand on his chest. “My parents made me realize how lost I was. Mei mamm, Jenne Lynn, and I traditionally make our Christmas cards together, bake together, and shop together, but I missed out on all those things. Worse, I was forgetting Christ. And I failed to ask God to show me how He wanted me to help Denise. I also failed to honestly let her know all those extra hours were taking a toll.”

  She paused. “It’s taken a toll on our relationship too. But you’re important to me, Kyle, and I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

  His eyes seemed to warm as he looked down at her, spurring her on.

  “I’m here to try to make it up to you. You are a blessing in my life, and I’m so thankful that God brought us together. Please forgive me.”

  He tilted his head and sighed. “I forgive you. I was never angry with you. I just missed you. Worse, I was afraid you were brushing me off because you regretted agreeing to be my girlfriend.”

  “That was never true, and I promise I won’t put you off again. I very much want to be your girlfriend. And I’m not going to work long hours anymore. I asked God to find a way for me to return to my family and to you without leaving Denise without enough help. That’s when Denise asked one of her cousins to fill in at the bakery for a while, and she agreed.”

  She paused, and then with a tremble in her voice, asked, “Are you sure you forgive me?”

  “Yes, I do forgive you, Alyssa.” He walked over to a table i
n the corner and picked up a cardboard box. “I have something for you. Despite my fears, I was going to take it to your haus tomorrow.”

  She smiled as she held up her bag. “I have something for you too.”

  “Frehlicher Grischtdaag,” he said as they exchanged gifts.

  She opened the cardboard box and found a metal trinket box with hearts etched into it. The design matched her candleholder. She opened the lid, and inside was a smaller metal heart.

  “Kyle,” she said as tears filled her eyes. “This is so schee. I love it.”

  “I’m glad. I thought maybe you could keep your bobby pins in it.” He opened his bag of gifts and grinned. “Wow. Alyssa, these are perfect.” He pulled out the safety glasses, safety mechanics gloves, and a hammer. “How did you know I needed all these?”

  “I didn’t.” She laughed as she set her gift on the sofa. “I just went to the hardware store and asked the owner for ideas.”

  “This is exactly what I needed. Danki.” He set his bag down on the sofa, too, and stepped closer. “This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had, because you’re a part of my life now.” He rested his hands on her shoulders. “I’ve never been happier.”

  “Neither have I.” She gazed up into his eyes. “I’m so grateful that I can celebrate Christmas with you.”

  He lifted her chin with the tip of his finger and then kissed her. She looped her arms around his neck as euphoria flooded her body at the sensation of his touch.

  When he broke the kiss, he leaned his forehead against hers. “Ich liebe dich, Alyssa.”

  Her eyes misted over at his words. “I love you, too, Kyle.”

  “Frehlicher Grischtdaag, mei liewe,” he said.

  As he pulled her in for a warm hug, she savored her overwhelming happiness and silently thanked God for bringing her someone to love. Kyle had made this Christmas so very special.

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  1.Alyssa’s Christmas family traditions include creating Christmas cards, baking, and shopping, all with her sister and mother. What Christmas traditions do you have in your family?