Immersive

by Becky Moynihan

  Ryker unwound the cord, appearing deep in thought. When our palms separated, my cut began to throb. I headed for the bathroom to clean it, but he stopped me with a hand on my arm. “Let me.”

  I almost demanded to know why, but he was already moving and I was suddenly exhausted. The bed called to me and I responded, plopping onto the edge. Before my eyes could drift shut, he returned with a first aid kit and knelt in front of me. Speechless, I simply watched as he flipped my hand over and cleaned the wound with practiced movements.

  Who was this man? It certainly wasn’t the Ryker that I knew.

  I prepared to ask where the rude side of himself had wandered off to when he started to speak in low tones. “Two years ago, I made a deal with the Supreme Elite. I was to become your Keeper and contend in two Trials to earn what I asked for. But when I failed the Rasa Rowe Trial, he reset the terms. Once Bren’s mission is complete and you’re safely returned, he’ll give me what I want: an enhancement serum that’ll allow me to challenge and defeat Rollie. He’s been questioning the boss’s loyalty for years and wants a new leader anyway.”

  He glanced up at me, pausing for several uncomfortable moments as if debating my trustworthiness. I didn’t dare look away. “When I’m head alpha,” he said quietly, “I can enact my most guarded secret. Free my mother.”

  I gaped, completely dumbstruck. That was the last thing I expected him to say.

  “But maybe the enhancement serum is already within my reach,” he continued. “Once I get that box back, I could use one of the serum vials to inject myself. Without it, Rollie is too strong to defeat. I could speed up the process and challenge him now before returning to Tatum City. His rule has to end.”

  “Whoa, wait a minute. That’s your plan? Earn the boss’s trust so you can get close enough to steal the box of serum back?”

  “We can’t move forward without that serum,” he replied. “It’s the key to reentering Tatum City and what I need to fulfill my own mission.”

  I bit my lip, replaying his words. “So let me get this straight: everything you’ve done up to this point has been to free your mother?”

  He inclined his head. “As I said, we’re not so different. You wanted to escape an abusive, controlling father and reunite with your mother, correct? So do I.”

  My mouth fell open. Stars, we really were the same. Except he was willing to sacrifice Bren in the process.

  Was I?

  Even entertaining the thought sent panic spiraling through my gut. No, I wouldn’t sacrifice him. Or Iris and Asher. I wouldn’t sacrifice any of the people I cared about. There was a time when I would have, when my heart was hardened and I’d do anything to achieve my lifelong goal of freedom. But the price was too high. The guilt of destroying someone’s life to better my own was a weight that would forever burden me.

  I still had recurring nightmares of killing Catanna—maybe always would. Destroying more lives would destroy me. I couldn’t allow myself to make cold, calculated decisions like Ryker did. I wanted to be more like Bren, willing to save others even if that meant my own hopes and dreams would never be met. But maybe I could do both.

  With Ryker still loyal to Renold, though, the chances of rescuing the people I loved were slim. I needed to prove that the Supreme Elite was a monster. But what if he didn’t care?

  As he finished tying gauze around my hand, I said, “I’ll help you. But whatever you do, do not inject yourself with the serum from that box. It’s not what you think it is. I believe it’s a memory-blocking serum, and I think Renold’s planning on using it to control the memories of kids brought into Tatum City.”

  He frowned. “Why do you think that?”

  “Because he used it on me.”

  Silence settled between us. I half wondered if he already knew. An instinctual urge tingled through me, a desire to dive into his head again and dig out the truth. I nervously chewed on the inside of my cheek. Stars, that would be a handy, albeit terrible ability to have.

  Ryker stood with the kit. “Get some sleep. We’ll work on a plan after you’re rested. I’ll take you to the boss at sunset.”

  He was halfway across the room when I asked, “What about the bonding ritual thing? Shouldn’t we, you know, do that?”

  At the door, he turned, showing me his still bloody palm. “We already did.”

  I tiptoed into the bathroom and silently closed the door. Every move I made was calculated, focused on the utmost stealth. Even if the room was soundproof, my tentative alliance with Ryker was too fragile. I couldn’t chance waking him. Hopefully he was adjusting to the afternoon sleeping hours better than I was.

  As I slid the shower curtain closed and settled into the tub, doubt—and traces of fear—trickled through me.

  The last time I attempted long distance communication, I’d spiked a high fever and Bren couldn’t wake me. What if . . . what if I got lost inside my head? On top of that, Jaxon probably didn’t want to hear from me. I was the reason his girlfriend got shot—I didn’t even know if Yukiko was still alive, despite Ryker’s reassurances. I had also jeopardized his home’s safety by leaving without permission. Not that they were going to let me leave. Still, The Ridge had given me shelter and I’d made several friends. In return, I’d betrayed them all.

  Did they hate me?

  The concept of caring was still new. In Tatum City, I grew used to people knocking each other down so they could rise. Backstabbing was expected. But at Blue Ridge Sector, people worked together. Even as an outsider and possible threat to their home, I’d been offered help and friendship. Losing that filled me with regret. I’d destroyed another good thing in my quest for freedom.

  I blew out a sigh and cranked the shower handle, cringing more from the noise than the cold water spitting on me. If Ryker came bursting in, at least I still wore my underwear. He had a knack for catching me off guard. I rested my head on the tub’s edge and closed my eyes, focusing on what I needed to do. If Bren wanted me to contact Jaxon, then maybe he had a plan for getting out of here, too. And maybe The Ridge would still help me, despite what I’d done.

  A smidgen of hope replaced the fear. Casting aside doubt, I submerged into my mind.

  With all of my memories intact, I thought stretching my consciousness for miles and miles would be easier than last time. I could clearly recall Jaxon’s goofy expressions and flamboyant voice. But there was still a pesky wall of hesitation separating us, worry that he would refuse to listen and cast me out of his head.

  Do it for Bren.

  He didn’t have anyone to watch his back and had foolishly taken on this complex operation all on his own. But he didn’t need to be alone. He had me, whether he wanted my involvement or not. I would watch his back, and I wouldn’t fail.

  Who’s tough? I internally whispered. You are.

  You are.

  You are.

  I sent the words spiraling into the abyss. They filled my head and strengthened my resolve. They expanded, thinning the wall. Suddenly, they punched through the barrier, hurtling past the living room and a sleeping Ryker. Past brick and wood, narrow hallways and stairs. I cleared the building and soared into the gray sky, passing through raindrops I couldn’t feel. I let my subconscious guide me, knowing it instinctively knew where to go.

  But it brought me somewhere I wasn’t expecting.

  In the forest on the outskirts of Asheville, my mind delved into Jaxon’s. I was immediately assaulted. Not with the usual emotions, but with thoughts. Impressions. A million possibilities streaked by like lightning. I struggled to remain connected, the sensation similar to holding my breath underwater for too long. I held on, determined to make my voice heard.

  Jaxon. Jaxon! Can you hear me?

  The impressions quieted. Emotions poked through. Surprise. Curiosity. Excitement. “Lu Bear, is that you?”

  Relieved, I internally laughed. The sound of his voice—jovial as always without a trace of anger—soothed an ache inside of me.

  “Whoa, this is tripp
y,” he said aloud. “Where are you? Why does it sound like you’re in my head?”

  Because I am.

  “Okay, I’m officially jealous of your telepathic powers. Also, don’t be nosing around in there. I’m a very private person.”

  Laughter echoed around me again, and this time, not just mine.

  For a beat, silence floated between us as I worked up the courage to ask about Yukiko. If she was dead, I’d never forgive myself.

  “Lune, you still there?”

  Um, yeah. I just . . . How is—?

  “She’s okay,” he replied, perceptive as usual. “A little salty. But Sensors heal quickly.”

  I almost lost the connection then, so overwhelmed with emotion.

  Jaxon, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know—

  “You can apologize later, escape artist. I’m starting to get weird looks over here.”

  Just talk to yourself in your head. I’ll hear it. That way you won’t creep anyone out.

  “Oh, I’ll always talk to myself and creep people out,” he replied. Then his voice became echoey as we spoke mind to mind. So what’s going on?

  I got right to the point, unsure how long I could stretch my abilities. I’m stuck in Asheville. So are Bren and Ryker. I told him the short version of everything that had happened, repeating what Bren had wanted me to share. And, Jaxon? I think Bren has given up on himself. I don’t know what to do. I just . . . I need your help.

  Worry pinged through me. It took me a moment to realize the emotion wasn’t mine.

  We already have people on the ground, Lune. After you escaped, Dr. Moore and the others were frantic. I sent out a drone and finally spotted you a few days ago. We’ve been preparing ever since. Just hold tight. We’re coming to extract you and bring you home.

  No, wait. Wait, Jaxon. I can’t go back yet. Ryker and I are planning to—

  Before I could fill him in, a force shoved me so violently that I blacked out.

  When I came to, nothing made sense. The taste of rust trickled down my throat. Short gasps reached my ears. A burning headache throbbed in my skull. I was hot. Then cold. Flashes of light flickered behind my closed lids. I pried my eyes open, blinking as water dripped from my lashes. Something tickled beneath my nose and I swiped at the spot. Red coated my fingers.

  I heard a metallic hiss and sharp intake of breath. A curse. Several curses. Arms wrapped around my back and under my legs. I was lifted, borne into a dimension that was becoming more and more solid. Real.

  This is real.

  I had to repeat the words over and over until the room stopped spinning and my mind settled.

  Ryker placed me on the bed, then was gone and back again a second later. He wiped at the blood, scanning my face and body, trying to understand what happened. I focused on his expression, failing to read the strong emotion written there. And then it clicked.

  He was afraid.

  For me?

  “I th-thought the room was s-soundproof,” I said past chattering teeth.

  “Not in the bathroom.” He threw a blanket over me. “I could hear you through the wall, struggling to breathe. I thought . . . I thought you were—” His lips thinned. He stepped back and turned, jerking both hands through his hair. “What happened?”

  “N-nothing. I must have g-given myself a bloody nose when I f-fell. I’m fine.” Which didn’t explain why I was taking a shower in my underwear. Crap. I frantically searched for a way around this pending conversation. Ryker couldn’t know what I was up to. If he knew a rescue team from The Ridge was heading to Asheville, he might inform his father. Or worse, lock me up again so I couldn’t screw up his plan.

  I focused on his back, his very naked back. The pants hanging dangerously low on his hips didn’t help matters. Feeling a blush rise to my cheeks, I forced my gaze upward to the exit wound where I’d shot him. Not even three weeks later, the damage was almost completely healed. A few inches to the left and his thorn-covered rose tattoo would have been ruined. I blurted the first thing that came to mind. “Why a rose?”

  He peered over his shoulder, giving me a look that said my sanity was coming into question. “What?”

  I waved my fingers. “Your rose tattoo. Is there a meaning behind it?”

  He shrugged and cleared his face of emotion. “It’s a reminder that beauty can be found in the most unlikely of places. And there, she can thrive, even among those who would tear her apart.”

  I could tell there was more to it than that, but I didn’t pry further. Still, I doubted the story was about a rose. More like a person.

  Maybe his mother.

  Or maybe, just maybe . . .

  Bells.

  “Repeat the plan.”

  I groaned loudly. “I already did. Twice.”

  “Do it again.” He reached for my hood, scowling when I batted his hand away.

  “It’s still raining outside. I want it up. Besides, no one will touch me now, whether they can see my mark or not.”

  I could have sworn he internally rolled his eyes. Ever since finding me in the bathtub, he wouldn’t stop . . . hovering. Like a mother hen. The image that popped into my head made me snicker.

  His frown deepened. “The plan.”

  “Fine. So bossy and annoying,” I muttered, knowing full well he could hear me. “Step one: don’t divulge traitorous information during my meeting with the boss. Step two: calmly leave the meeting while locating the box of serum with my tracking ability. Step three: secure the box in the billowing folds of my jacket”—the second one Ryker had to give me—“without looking suspicious. Step four: don’t get caught.”

  “And then we’ll leave through the underground tunnels and make for Tatum City,” Ryker added. “Once inside, we’ll deliver the box, and the Supreme Elite will give me the correct serum necessary to challenge the boss for head alpha.”

  Except, that was his plan. Not mine.

  I watched as he checked the bullet chamber of his gun, expertly sliding the weapon into the holster at his waist. This wasn’t the first time I’d wondered why he didn’t just walk up to the boss and pull the trigger. But there was actual substance to this whole “code of honor” thing of theirs. Rules I barely understood. “And so you’ll continue to blindly follow Renold’s orders then. Do his dirty work, be in charge of kidnapping women and children.”

  They weren’t questions. I was challenging him, trying to gauge his moral compass. I still didn’t know if he had one or if he simply did what served him best.

  His movements slowed. “If that’s what it takes to guarantee my mother stays free, then I’ll do what is necessary.”

  My eyes narrowed. “Do you think your mother would approve of those terms?” When he didn’t respond, I pressed further. “If you had the chance, would you set the others free?”

  He stopped and looked at me. “They ensure our survival. Out here, we don’t have the means to produce our own food, clothing, or medicine. Tatum City is our only trading source. If we jeopardize that, we’ll die.”

  “Then why not just take your mother and leave the Recruiter Clan?

  He scoffed. “And go where? You’ve seen how dangerous it is out here alone, especially when someone has it in for you. Clans form for a reason. Stay loyal to your clan and you might survive. Did you know that the small community we found you at no longer exists? They’ve moved on, probably to join a larger community outside the Recruiter Clan’s reach.”

  Tightness built in my chest. My childhood home was gone? I could barely remember the days of hunger, leaky roofs, and constant threats of danger. But there had been happy times too. Whole families living together, striving to eke out an existence their children could thrive in.

  I debated telling him everything. About Renold’s plans to build an army, about the safety found at The Ridge. But would he side with the people who’d kept him locked in a cell for two months? I cleared my suddenly dry throat, choosing my words carefully. “What if I told you there was another way?”

  “I�
��d say tell me later when we’re out of this mess. Our focus needs to be on this mission, not fighting the system.” He shrugged into a black leather jacket and opened the bedroom door, slipping into the hall.

  “So stay out of your way, is that it?” I mocked, marching after him.

  “That’s it,” he replied without looking back.

  Fury washed over me. Before he could leave the apartment, I slammed the door shut he’d just opened. “Maybe you’re the one oblivious to the world. You only see how it’s always been. Maybe it’s you who’s an ignorant insider. And maybe, just maybe, you should stay out of my way.”

  I shoved past him and exited the apartment, not sticking around to witness the ire no doubt plastered on his face. Let him stew and wonder if I was going to sabotage his plans. Served him right for all the lives he’d ruined in his single-minded goal to defeat his father.

  A heavy tread came up alongside mine. “They can’t see us arguing,” Ryker muttered. “Our intentions are still under suspicion.” I ignored him, descending the three flights of stairs in cold silence. Just as I reached the building’s main entrance, he grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop.

  “Don’t touch me,” I warned, jerking free.

  With a growl, he recaptured my arm and backed me against the wall. “We don’t have time for this,” he snarled as I contemplated kneeing him in the groin. “I thought you wanted out of here. I thought you wanted to see your sister again.”

  My heart seized. “You knew? Stars above, you knew this whole time she was my sister? What don’t you know?” Wait. “Did Renold find out about her because of you?”

  Okay, I was going to kill him now.

  He gave me an indignant look. “There’s certain lines even I won’t cross. Of course I didn’t tell him. But there were other people in Tatum City closely monitoring your movements.”

  One person in particular.

  Lars.

  Bile burned my throat. What was happening to her at this very moment? Was she still locked away, alone and afraid, at the mercy of the madman who’d raised me? I ached for her and hoped she could endure whatever he had in store for a little while longer.